


The Devil's Daughter

by shot_gun_shuts_his_cakehole



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam, Hurt Sam Winchester, Lucifer's daughter, Post-Episode: s12e08 LOTUS, lucifer's child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 88,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9288143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shot_gun_shuts_his_cakehole/pseuds/shot_gun_shuts_his_cakehole
Summary: So, I started to think about possibilities for directions the show could take following 12x08 and the whole thing of Lucifer having a kid and with that, this fic was born.This fic follows the fallout of Lucifer's daughter being born and what happened to Sam and Dean after being arrested. What type of person will Lucifer's offspring be? What will her relationship with her father be like? What will her relationship with the Winchester's be like? I pretty much suck a summaries but bare with me, this is going somewhere.





	1. Rusty Cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is mostly just the prologue, setting things up for the storyline with Lucifer's child whilst also providing insight into Sam's time in solitary confinement. The next chapter will get into the story more.
> 
> If you didn't realize her name, Kelly Kline is the woman who is pregnant with Lucifer's child. 
> 
> Disclaimer - I, unfortunately, do not own the supernatural world or any of it's inhibitants. Nor do I own the song lyrics at the beginning. Hope you enjoy!

_Hit like a Phillips head into my brain_

_It's gonna be too dark to sleep again_  
_Cutting my teeth on bars and rusty chains_  
_I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run_

 _When the forest burns along the road_  
_Like God's eyes in my headlights_  
_When the dogs are looking for their bones_  
_And it's raining ice picks on your steel shore_

_I'm gonna break_

_I'm gonna break my_

_I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run_

_\- Rusty Cage, Soundgarden_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been roughly six weeks since Sam and Dean had been arrested. At least Sam thought it had been six weeks, but he couldn't be sure. The cell they'd kept him in had no windows and the door was solid metal that let no room for light to shine through. Although they did slide some gloopy, grey slop through the door twice a day. Apparently, the inedible gunk was classed as sufficient enough food for the scumbags that 'tried to kill the president'. However disgusting the food, it's twice daily arrival did make it easier to keep track of the days. _At first_. But after two weeks, the days started to meld together and Sam couldn't be sure if the bowl of 'food' currently being pushed through to him was the second of the day or the first. He couldn't figure out if today was yesterday or tomorrow.

Sam could tell he'd lost weight and muscle. Sam had lived in some dank conditions over the years, due to hunting. He'd also ate some, less than favourable food in his time. Sam hadn't been allowed to have high standards, but this was uncomfortable even for him. He knew he needed to eat, but his stomach struggled to take the sludge he was being fed so he mostly avoided eating it, only resorting to it when he thought he might pass out from hunger. At first Sam had told himself he needed to get over himself and eat, but after a couple of weeks, he struggled to give a damn. His weight loss was only exaggerated by his tall frame. He felt weak. As though it would only take a mild gust of wind to send him to his knee's. Sam knew that he'd need to build up some serious strength if he was going to hunt when they got out of here.

If they got out of here.

Sam and Dean had been in plenty of sticky situations. It wasn't there first brush with the law, but they hadn't been arrested for 'attempting to kill the president' before now. Sam wondered if this was one they couldn't get out off. Cas still couldn't fly and the Enochian etched into their ribs meant that they were warded from angels. Crowley could break them out, but that was dependent on if he could find the maximum security prison which technically wasn't supposed to exist. It also depended on whether or not Crowley would even want to help them. Sam wouldn't hold his breath for that. 

Sam's tangled thought process floated to their mom. She'd been doing her own thing for a while now, but she still dropped a text regularly to keep in touch with them. At this point, Sam was sure Mary would have figured out something was wrong. Sam wondered what she would do. He didn't know her well enough to guess. Would she go to the bunker? Find Castiel? Get on with her life? Take Billie up on her offer?

No, Mary wasn't a quitter and she was also a hunter. If there were people to rescue, she was game. Mary had been a huge part of the rescue mission to get him free from the British Men of Letters. She'd jumped in when he and Dean were incapacitated, with a fierce streak of protectiveness. When Mary had left, insecurities leaked through about whether or not Mary had been disappointed. Whether she loved him or not, I mean, she didn't know either of her son's really.  _Especially Him_. He'd hid it from Dean. Dean was struggling enough, so he did his best to understand and to help Dean to understand. He did understand, really. He knew it had to be hard. But it didn't stop the fear and insecurity that plagued his mind. Deep down, he did know she loved them both, though. He knew if she figured out they were in trouble, she'd do what she could to help. 

Sam tried to reassure himself, that with an angel they called family, a protective mother and possibly the king of hell, they would definitely get out of this place. But then two weeks became three, three became four and eventually, Sam figured it had been about six weeks. He started to lose hope. Maybe they were too screwed this time. Sam started to seriously consider the fact that he might die in this cell. He hoped that if he were in here for the rest of his life, that he would bite the dust sooner rather than later. He considered what would kill him first, not eating and starving himself or actually eating and dying from the vomit inducing sludge that was supposed to be his meal. 

Sam wasn't doing so good and he wondered how long it would take before solitary confinement would strip someone of any sense of reality. He didn't think it would take long. The worse part was being separated from Dean, with the possibility that the drive to this place could be the last time he saw him. Dean had died numerous times. With the whole mystery spot incident, Sam really couldn't count. Sam had died a whole lot too, so they both knew what it was like to live without each other for extended periods of time, but not like this. Dean always said he'd go out guns blazing. Sam would rather them both to stick it out till old age and die from being 105 years old, but he knew it was unlikely so he got what Dean was saying. If they were going to die young, permanently that is, he wanted to go down fighting. He didn't want Dean or himself to die, but if they had too, he didn't want it to be rotting away in some cell. 

Sam wondered if he should feel bitter that they were arrested for an attempted assassination when they'd actually just saved the president's life, but he couldn't muster the enthusiasm to be bitter. Sam didn't know how he was doing. The panic, anger and worry that he'd initially felt, subsided rather quickly. It was replaced with apathy. A numb emptiness to the situation he was in. He didn't know if that reaction meant that he was doing well or doing badly. Sam wondered for a millionth time since being separated from Dean, how he was doing. Sam wondered if Dean was coping any better than Sam.

Sam had always been more comfortable with solitude than Dean. Not through choice but through necessity. Sam had often been left on his own when Dean and their dad went hunting and was too little to go himself. He'd gotten used to loneliness at a young age. So used to it that it kind of became comfortable. He'd wished for solitude with all his being when he'd been in the cage. At that time, he'd have done anything to be left alone, rather than being the personal punching bag for two pissed off archangels. So yeah, Sam was usually okay doing things alone if it came to it. He'd always choose having Dean and Cas around over being alone, but he could manage. Sam was a naturally introverted person and he was okay with spending days hid away in the bunker researching. Dean was not like that. If Dean had to sit in one place for too long, he'd start climbing the walls. He got fidgety when they'd been in the bunker for too long without hunting. He didn't like to sit and twiddle his thumbs. He liked to be working, moving all the time. Sam imagined that Dean was probably in a worse state that he was. Although he would never show it. Dean had always been better at hiding weakness, than Sam was. His heart ached for his older brother. He hated that he was useless to him, no way to help him out of this place. 

Sam had considered praying to Cas. In the first two weeks, he'd prayed a lot, but once he'd realized that Cas could probably hear him, but do nothing about it, he stopped. If he could have provided Cas with some information, any little detail, than it might have been useful, but hearing Sam whining was not going to help Cas. It would most likely just make him feel bad so he'd stopped praying a few weeks ago. He decided to reach out to his friend now, though.

_Hey Cas? If you have your ears on, just...if it comes to it, if it ends up that for some reason getting us both out will be a struggle...Just make sure you get Dean out, okay? If you can get us both, that's great, but if you can't...Don't worry about me, I'll be okay, but you know what Dean's like. He'll climbing the walls in this place so if you can, please just make sure you get him out. He belongs at home with you guys. No pressure or anything, I know you'll be doing everything you can. So, yeah, thanks and everything_

Cutting off his awkward prayer, Sam threw himself down onto the cot. His long legs hanging over the end. He screwed his eyes shut, hoping to be left alone by unwanted visitors and begged for sleep. Yeah, he and Dean were pretty screwed right now, but at least they'd sent Lucifer packing and at least Cas had dealt with the whole, spawn of Satan thing. They were screwed, but he had hope that Cas would reach Dean and at least for once, the world wasn't about to burn. With that, Sam drifted into a restless sleep.

* * *

_Kelly's POV_

Kelly Kline had dreamt of being a mother, since she was a young girl.

Sure, she'd also wanted the high powered career, the good life, the independence and everything else that followed, as much as the next girl, but she'd always imagined children in that picture. She'd always wanted to be someone's mommy.

When she had started working for the president and later, fell pregnant with his child, she had been elated. Sure, it wasn't planned and things were complicated, but she felt like her dreams were coming true. She loved her job, she'd fallen in love with a good and successful man and had gotten pregnant.

That's when everything fell apart. Finding out that the father of your child was possessed by the Devil and consequently, your child was literally the spawn of Satan, definitely wasn't part of said plan. Kelly was torn. She had been raised by devout Christian parents. She knew Lucifer wasn't the good guy of that story. And she knew that any child of Lucifer was going to hold a huge amount of power and the potential for evil. But genes (or whatever it is that angel's have) aren't everything. Bad parents didn't mean bad children. Kelly Believed her child could be good. That she could guide them into making the right choices. She didn't believe that her baby was inherently bad. She couldn't believe that. Which is why she had to run.

The blue eyed angel who had called himself Castiel, meant well, but Kelly knew that he saw things in black and white with no room for grey area. The being that was growing in Kelly's womb was not a baby to the angel. It was an abomination. Evil incarnate. She wasn't 100% sure what he planned to do, but she wasn't going to stick around to find out or let any harm come to her future child. Kelly, like any good mother, was going to do everything she could to protect her child.

Kelly considered and accepted the fact that she was most likely, in over her head. She had no idea just how powerful her child would be or how one goes about raising a half human, half fallen angel child. She had to try though and she knew she had to do it alone.

Kelly hadn't much time to process her situation. She was no expert on child development, but she knew that her child was growing far quicker than normal. Almost immediately after falling pregnant, she had felt her baby inside of her. She knew that her baby should be about the size of a bean and definitely shouldn't be big enough to be able to feel it moving. A week after Kelly had ran from Castiel, her belly had developed into a huge bump. She could feel her child. She could feel the power that was inside of her. It radiated through her bones, vibrating under her skin and it sent shivers down her spine. She felt like a nuclear reactor ready to blow.

After Castiel's little show and tell, she'd learned not to touch anything biblical or holy such as a bible, but still it had come as a surprise when the night stand in her motel spontaneously combusted. Until she realised that there had been a bible in the draw. Her child's power was growing. Before she had touched a bible and it had burst into flames. Now she only had to be in the general vicinity of one to cause a fire hazard.

She hadn't long to think her options through before her contractions arrived. Kelly had never given birth before, but unless her child was killing her from the inside of her womb, which she considered might have been entirely possible, this baby was definitely coming. Kelly decided against going to hospital. Giving birth to a child in a grubby motel room was not the brightest idea that Kelly had ever had, but she was out of options. She didn't know what was going to happen when her child was born, but she didn't want the doctors or child services poking their noses around and taking her baby away once they realized it was different. So she settled on staying put in her room.

It was far from ideal. Kelly prayed that there would be no health complications for her or her child. The most she knew about childbirth had come from TV drama's and one born every minute, but when she felt the contractions grow stronger, she gathered a pair of scissors, towels and warm water. That's what they always said to get on TV anyway. Thankfully, the labor, like the pregnancy, was very quick. Unfortunately it was however, very painful. Just as Kelly thought she might die from the pain and pure power that shook her weak frame, her baby was almost out.

The lights in the motel room went crazy. Flickering on and off violently, before eventually smashing all together. The bed under her shook and the whole room began to quake as Kelly came the end of her labor. Kelly pushed with strength she didn't know she had and finally the soft cry of her newborn began to echo through the motel room. The shaking had stopped and so did her child's cry, as it store up at her. Kelly proceeded to cut the cord with the motel's complimentary scissors and held her child for the first time.

Her beautiful baby was a little girl.

As soon as she held her daughter, any apprehension or doubt Kelly had, withered away. As she held her little girl, she couldn't believe that there was an evil streak in the tiny babies body. Her child had a full head of hair, thick autumn brown curls that covered her fragile head. Her eyes were an emerald green, decorated with flecks of brown-ish gold. Her beautiful eye's were unbelievably wide and alert. There was a light behind them that enchanted Kelly. Her babies small mouth took the shape of an 'o' as the baby girl took in her mother's worn features. Her skin was pink and soft against Kelly's protective hands. No, there was no way her child was evil. She was perfect. And Kelly was going to protect her no matter what. Looking at her daughter, she considered what to name her. Kelly thought of her childhood. She thought of Sunday afternoons trailing around behind her grandmother as she tended to her beloved garden. Kelly was a curious child, keen to learn about everything the world had to offer. So she was never quiet for too long. To distract her granddaughter and keep her occupied for a while, he grandmother had told Kelly to look at all of the flowers and to pick her favorite.

Kelly took her task seriously, taking in all of her grandmother's flowers until she came across some that took her breath away. She silently pointed her gran to her chosen flower. Her grandmother had told her that she'd picked a lily. A lily of the valley. Kelly had thought the small white, delicate, bell shaped flowers were beautiful. Her gran had told her that a lily of the valley symbolized purity, sweetness and humility.

Lily.

That was it. Her baby girl was a lily. She looked at her precious girl and knew it fit her perfectly. Lily Kline.

Kelly stroked Lily's face gently with her thumb, basking in the joy that motherhood brought her. She took in her child's features. She knew that if Lily continued to grow at the rate she had in the womb, she may not be a small baby for long. So she made the most of time she could hold her daughter in her arms and looked forward to the future which she was determined would be bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter will be about getting the boys out and following Lily's journey after birth...spoiler alert, she grows up quickly. I kind of imagined his kid growing quickly like Amara had because of the comment about Kelly being able to feel the baby in LOTUS. At that early stage of pregnancy, she wouldn't feel the baby so I kind of just assumed that maybe Lucifer's child would grow at an accelerated rate.
> 
> Also, I am aware that the idea of giving birth at home under no medical supervision isn't realistic considering it's not as simple as a baby just popping out, but I used a little bit of artistic license to make the story simpler as I didn't want to get bogged down in the details during the prologue


	2. Devil In A Midnight Mass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel, Mary, Crowley and Rowena, break the boys out. Meanwhile, Lily is growing fast and getting more powerful by the second. Did Lucifer really get sent to the cage? And if he didn't, what will happen when he starts circling in on his daughter?
> 
> Disclaimer - Again, don't own any of 'em

_Devil in a midnight mass_

_Killed the boy inside the man_

_The holy water in his hands_

_Can never wash away his sins_

_Hold your breath and count to four_

_Pinky swears don't work no more_

_Put my trust in god that day_

_Not the man that taught his way_

 

_I was alive but now I'm singin'_

 

_Silent nights, for the rest of my life_

-  _Devil In A Midnight Mass, Billy Talent_

 

* * *

_Castiel's POV_

Cas felt completely useless. He was an angel. Breaking two people out of a human prison shouldn't be an issue. But thanks to his broken wings and his idea to brand the Winchester's ribs with an Enochian sigil, he was at a loss. He didn't know how the boy's were doing, Sam had stopped praying weeks ago and Dean contacted him still but failed to be upfront with how he really was, as usual. As much as he worried about the physical and emotional condition of his two friends, he also felt lost without them. He was usually helping them with their mission or trying to accomplish his own but right now, his only mission was to find and free Sam and Dean and they weren't around to help him and he was failing miserably at helping them. 

When Mary came along to the bunker, it had provided some relief. To have someone to help who too, was worried. But even with his angelic advantages and Mary's hunter instincts, they had managed to come up with nothing. Crowley and Rowena were MIA, not that he particularly wanted to work with them. He would have done if it would help Sam and Dean, though. When Sam was still praying, he'd sounded weary and tired but not completely hopeless. Dean was his usual 'smart ass' self as Sam would say but Cas could feel the uncertainty behind his prayers. And of course both men were concerned with the other. Both wanted him to help their brother. 

Cas sighed. He and Mary had been working on finding Sam and Dean's location for weeks and had turned over many leaves that had all been futile. Technology was neither Cas's or Mary's strong suit but they had figured out how to hack CCTV camera's in an attempt to figure out what direction the van, that took the boys had gone but it seemed to have disappeared into thin air. It was frustrating to say the least. 

It had been over six weeks since they'd been arrested. Cas knew he should also be looking for the young woman who'd ran off from him whilst pregnant with Lucifer's nephilim but with Dean and Sam in trouble, he could only concentrate on getting them home. It was late, Cas had virtually forced Mary to get some sleep but fortunately, Cas didn't need to sleep so could continue with the search.

As Cas plowed through the many resources in the bunker, he was taken off guard by the prayers of someone familiar. Sam. It took him by surprise because it was the first time he'd heard Sam pray in weeks. He could tell something had changed with Sam. He sounded resigned and hopeless but still remained desperate for his brother to be okay. If angel's had hearts, it would have broken. Both Dean and Sam concerned themselves with only each other's well-being, despite their own being less than desirable. 

Cas knew he needed to do anything he could to help the two troubled men who he'd come to call his family. He picked up his cell phone and dialed the king of hell. 

* * *

 

_A Week Later..._

Mary nervously paced around in the war room. 

"So, let me get this straight...An angel and a hunter are teaming up with the king of hell and his witch mother? How is this a good idea?" Questioned Mary apprehensively.

"I am by no means, a great supporter of Crowley and Rowena but they have been useful in the past and Crowley isn't like most demon's. He doesn't kill for killings sake. Crowley's a business man and he and Rowena are our best bet at helping Sam and Dean", reasoned Cas, "Sam hasn't prayed since last week and Dean is putting on a brave front but he's not doing well. Neither of them are".

"Fine, you know them better than me...Do you think this will work Castiel?", asked Mary quietly. 

"We have succeeded in much more dire circumstances than the current one, with a much weaker plan of action. It will work", informed Castiel, trying his best to feign confidence because truthfully, he had no idea if their plan would work.

A week ago, Cas had tried to contact Crowley to no avail. It was a week later until he finally had some success in contacting Crowley. Cas had thought of a plan but it required the expertise of Crowley and Rowena so Mary and Cas currently found themselves in the bunker, waiting on the arrival of the king and his mother. 

"Cas, if it isn't my partner in crime", remarked Crowley as he appeared in the bunker, Rowena on his heels.

"I can assure you that you are neither my partner, nor have I committed a felony with you", frowned Cas.

"Well that might change soon enough, I hear we're facilitating a prison break", quipped Crowley, ignoring Cas's oblivious comment. 

"So, does that mean you're on board?" Huffed Mary, impatient to get her boys. 

"I can see where Sam and Dean get their manners from but yes, I'm in", agreed Crowley.

"What? No 'buts' or conditions? No deals you wanna make?" Questioned Mary suspiciously. 

"I'm guessing you've heard about me then? Whatever you've been told...I'm much worse", smirked Crowley, "but no, this time I'm doing it out of the goodness of my corrupted soul".

"I find that hard to believe. Usually, you only help us if there's something in it for you", remarked Cas.

"Well, as insufferable as moose and squirrel are, they do prove useful from time to time. But they are no use rotting in a cell so shall we cut the interrogation and get on with it?"

"Fine. What about you, Rowena? Are you on board?" Asked Cas who had noticed that Rowena was being uncharacteristically quiet. 

"Well dear, that all depends on what's in it for me?" Sighed Rowena, staring at her nails disinterestedly. 

"How about if you do it, we don't kill you?" Seethed Mary. Whilst this witch was busy being awkward, her son's were suffering. 

"Oh is that right? Lucifer himself couldn't kill me, so what makes you think you'll be able too Winchester? Did I also mention that I sent Lucifer to the bottom of the bloody ocean? Imagine how easy it would be for me to wipe you out like a bug on a bloody windshield!" Sniped Rowena, dramatically.

"Now now, ladies, please! Mother, you know as well as I do that the Winchester's can be useful. You wanted Lucifer gone as much as any of us and they certainly came in hand, then. You may not like them, I mean who does? But we do need them", reasoned Crowley.

"Fine. I'll help you get those two overgrown idiots out of that dank prison but I swear to god Fergus, I am done with all of this when it's done", confirmed Rowena, exasperated. 

 "Fine. So, what's the plan?" Sighed Mary.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cas, Mary, Crowley and Rowena prepared for the task ahead. Cas could tell that Mary was uncomfortable. Sam and Dean had become accustomed to working with people who they had once considered the enemy, long ago. Teaming up with demon's, angel's, monsters and even Lucifer, in order to defeat a greater threat. But Mary was not used to this. When Mary hunted all those years ago, they could not imagine the kind of threats he and the Winchester's had fought, so Cas guessed it must go against Mary instincts to work with a demon and a witch. However, Mary would do what needed be, to help her family. A trait, which Cas guessed, had been passed down to her son's.

As for the plan, it wasn't the worst one they'd thought up. It was entirely do-able. Crowley had been able to locate the prison in which Sam and Dean were being held. Mary and Cas would take on the guards front of house. Rowena and Crowley would deal with inside of the prison and actually getting the boys out of the cells. Rowena had provided Mary with several hex bags. They would not kill the guards but they would render them unconcious for a good amount of time. They only needed to fight off the guards, trying not to get shot in the process, until the hex bag took effect. Once they'd incapacitated the prison guards and reached Sam and Dean, Crowley would transport them back to the bunker. It seemed simple enough. Cas hoped it would be. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mary and Cas drove up, in the direction of the prison. It was secluded and didn't appear on any maps. Mary hated the thought of her children being in there. It looked harsh and cold. A place to keep the worst of criminal's. There'd, no doubt, be people in there who were monsters. Her boys didn't belong there. She consoled herself with the fact, they were close to getting them out of there. 

"Are you ready for this?" asked Cas, in a softer voice than Mary could ever have imagined the gruff angel, speaking in. Concern laced his features.

"Yeah, I'm ready. I just wanna get them out of there Castiel"

"I understand", nodded Castiel as his phone rang.

"That's the signal from Crowley. Let's go".

Mary strode up to the entrance of the gate to talk to the first guard. 

"Hi, I'm lost. Could you give me directions to the nearest town?" Asked Mary innocently, as Cas crept up behind him and  placed two fingers on his head, rendering him unconscious. 

Mary and Cas let themselves through the huge metal gate and we're instantly met with 6 other guards. Mary and Cas began to fight, Mary sneaking hex bags into their pockets and Cas simple touching them to knock them out. _Angel's are certainly useful for hunts_ , mused Mary internally. The hex bags started to work as the guards began sinking to the ground. There were several more security gates to get through and other guard members had caught onto the trouble but Mary and Cas were fueled by the need to help family, so they took them down like they did at the entrance to the prison. Finally Cas and Mary had the no more obstacles in the way between them and the building. Beside's a few more guards which would be easy enough to get past. With a nod to each other, Mary and Cas began to run towards the actual prison building, being challenged by several guards along the way but they'd managed to handle them. Mary had gotten a nasty black eye from the butt of one of the guards gun but she was relatively unscathed. Cas looked disheveled but seemed unharmed. They made their way to the opening of the prison, which of course, was highly secured. Cas quickly dialed Crowley's number and before long, the sturdy door clinked open. 

Crowley and Rowena were at the other side. 

"Did you get the boys?", questioned Mary, her eyes searching for them.

"We hadn't time between fighting off these neanderthals and helping you open a damned door", sneered Rowena. 

"We'll let's go then, before the authorities get wind of this and are all over us", urged Mary. 

Crowley led the way through the corridors of the dingy but large prison. The corridors were littered with guards. Some were simply unconscious whilst others weren't so lucky. Several men were slumped on the floor, clearly dead. 

"I thought the plan was to knock them out, not kill them?" Sighed Mary. 

"Some of them got annoying" stated Crowley, simply. 

After what seemed like forever, Crowley stopped outside a cell, clicking his fingers. The door unlocked to reveal a skinnier and hairier looking Dean. He'd lost weight, he had a stubbly face and he looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks. Probably hadn't. Mary noticed the tally marks scratched into the wall. 

"Cas? Mom? Crowley. Rowena. What? How? Where's Sam?" Questioned Dean, the panic rising in his voice. 

"It's okay Dean, we'll get Sam. We've come to get you both", explained Cas. He grabbed Dean into a hug, who reciprocated, chuckling lightly. A weight in his shoulders seemed to lift slightly. 

"It's good to see you man", he told Cas as his eyes turned to Mary. 

"Thanks Mom, you know for.." started Dean but was cut off as Mary fiercely wrapped her arms around him. 

"Dean, I'm so sorry. Are you hurt? Are you okay?" Questioned Mary quickly scanning her son. 

"Not your fault. I'm fine mom, honestly", promised Dean, "Crowley. Rowena. Thanks for pitching in".

"You look like hell, trust me, I'd know", commented Crowley, raising an eyebrow.

"As much as I'd love to stand around and swap beauty tips Crowley, we need to get Sam", rushed Dean who was clearly itching to find his brother.

With a simple nod, Crowley led the group once again. Sam's cell was relatively far away from Dean's. It looked like the prison guards wanted to keep Sam and Dean as far away from each other as possible. Apparently stone walls and iron clad doors weren't enough. Eventually Crowley stopped outside a cell door. By now, Dean was itching to get a look at his little brother. Over the six weeks they'd been held, Dean grew more concerned about Sam. Worrying about Sam was pretty much Dean's default mode but this was different. Dean didn't underestimate Sam's strength but he worried being caged up in a cell might bring up some unwanted hell memories. It was safe to say, he couldn't get Sam out of here quick enough.

Crowley snapped his fingers and the cell opened. At first, Dean thought Crowley had opening the wrong door. He'd expected Sam to jump at them, ready for a fight at the slightest sound or movement. That was normal for them, that's what they'd been trained to do but there was no one at the door ready to fight. Soon, Dean saw Sam though. His lanky brother was hunched in a ball, on the tiny cot. Old trays of the awful food he'd endured the past few weeks, lay discarded around the room. Dean guessed that guards stopped bothering to take away the trays or that Sam stopped passing them back. Whatever it was, the food definitely wasn't being eaten. Sam may have been curled up but Dean knew his brother better than he knew himself. He knew the kid had lost too much weight. Sam had been on the lanky side for a while but now he was definitely under weight. Dean couldn't see Sammy's face. His back was to Dean as he faced the wall, protective hands over his head. 

Mary began to step forward to speak but Dean held a hand up to her, shooting her an apologetic look but she nodded in understanding. Cas looked perplexed as usual and Rowena and Crowley were staying out of the way. Dean slowly approached Sam, gently placing a hand on Sam's bony shoulder. Sam jumped away with a start, wild eye's taking everything in. He looked even more like crap than Dean thought. His cheeks were sunken in. Huge musty shadows resting under his eyes. But more than the physical appearance, Sam looked like crap on a deeper level. There was no light behind his eye's. He looked weary and exhausted. He just looked, done. 

"Hey Sammy, nice digs, huh?", commented Dean, trying to lighten his brother.

"Get away from me", Sam ordered tiredly.

Dean had not been expecting that.

"Sammy, what's up? We're getting out of here? We're free now?"

"You think I don't know your mind games? I spent years having them used against me. Using the faces of people I care about, that's not a new one. You think you're gonna trick me into thinking I'm leaving this place with my family, just so you can get me to say the magic word? I don't think so", gritted Sam.

It dawned on Dean. Seeing Sam looking exhausted and warn down, locked up in some room brought back too many memories from when Sam's wall fell. Dean's stomach clenched. He wondered if being locked up in this place had brought back Lucifer hallucinations.

"Sammy, it's me okay? I'm real. I'm not anybody else. Mom, Cas, Crowley and Rowena are breaking us out of here. There's unconscious guards littered all over the place but before long, they're gonna be on our asses so we need to get out of here now. I don't what's gone down in here but nobody is tricking you Sam", reassured Dean with desperate eye's.

Sam studied 'Dean' standing before him. Lucifer had used Dean's face to torture or trick him more times than he could recount and although he'd always got the look spot on, there was always something not quite there. You could conjure up an image but you couldn't mimic that spark Dean had. The extra, sometimes annoying, stuff that made Dean, Dean. As he analysed his brother, he sighed in relief.

"It's really you? Thank god...You look like crap", frowned Sam.

"Yeah well, you don't look so hot yourself Sasquatch", laughed Dean as he gripped his brother into a tight hug. Sam sunk into him, like he was scared to let go and have his family fade away. As Dean pulled away, Mary cautiously walked towards Sam. She carefully hugged her youngest. He looked fragile despite his towering height and she was almost afraid of breaking him with her hold. Cas then proceeded to give Sam and extremely awkward hug which just caused Sam to grin more.

"I hate to interrupt this greeting card moment but we have company", warned Crowley as a chorus of hasty footsteps began to get closer. 

With that, they were all on alert, all ready to fight. As the first lot of the guards got into their view, Crowley had begun killing them. The Winchester family started towards the door and were met with many more guards than had been expected. They must have sent in reinforcements. Despite Sam and Dean's weaker bodies, they held their own. Fighting their way around several guards as Cas, Mary and Rowena stepped in to take care of the guards too. Before long, all of the guards were on the ground but others could be heard in the distance and piercing alarms had begun to sound in the prison. The sound of metal on metal, echoed through the corridor. They were locking this place down.

"Now would be a good time to get us out of here", Stated Castiel towards Crowley. With a click of his fingers, the group were jolted outside of the prison, beside's their car.

"What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to be zapping us back to the bunker?", accused Mary.

"I am but first, I wanted to get us the hell out of that shite hole first", shuddered Crowley, "And I thought hell was bad".

There was a commotion from the prison. All sorts of alarms and sirens going off which caught Crowley's attention. 

"I think it's time we left this sinking ship", muttered Crowley as he once again, jolted the group but this time, sending them all back to the bunker. 

"Next time you want to ask for my help, don't", sneered Rowena.

"Right, well, you're welcome. Looks like I saved your arse's once again. I think it's our cue to leave before all of the sickening family bonding moments begin", smirked Crowley as he and Rowena disappeared.

Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary stood around, none of them really sure of what to do next. Until Dean notice Sam looking like he was ready to topple over and sure enough, Sam slunk to the ground, exhaustion finally winning as he passed out. Dean was at his side in a second, closely followed by the other two members of their family.

"Oh god, Sam? Is he okay?", asked Mary frantically.

"Yeah, I think he just need lots of food and lots of sleep...right Cas?"

"Yes, he appears to be undernourished. You both do but it seems as though Sam in particular, lost his appetite in the prison".

"Okay, he's definitely sleeping and eating the most calorific meal I can find, even if I have to shove it down his throat. And he's got some talking to do", stated Dean.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kelly watched her daughter toddle around yet another motel they were staying in. It had been 6 weeks since she'd given birth and now he newborn looked more around the age of 3-4 year old. She was beautiful. She was full of wonder and he eyes lit up at the world around her. Even if the world around her was a crappy motel room. She was already walking and talking some. There had been several incidents so far. Lily had fallen when she'd first started to walk and the window's of their motel room had shattered as she'd begun to cry. Safe to say, they didn't get their deposit back. They'd been plenty of those kind of incidents so far but nothing too concerning. No one had gotten hurt and it'd been a complete accident. But Kelly worried about what damage could be possible if her daughter didn't learn how to control her power. She was at a loss. It wasn't like they did books on this stuff in the parenthood section of the library. 

She worried that Lily would hurt people accidentally. She worried that soon Lucifer may manage to find them and take her little girl. She worried about a lot. She knew that Lily would continue to grow and fast. It wouldn't be too long before Lily began to become aware of the fact that she was different. What was Kelly supposed to tell her? She wanted to protect her child from the world she'd unwittingly gotten her into. She didn't want Lily anywhere near the world of angels or demons but she was in it. She was like them. Kelly had no idea how she was supposed protect Lily against beings much more powerful than she was. 

Kelly was tired of hiding out in motel rooms. Lily needed air and so did she, so she took Lily to a near by park. The area wasn't the nicest but this park was surprisingly beautiful. It had a decent play area for kids and beautiful oak tree's provided shelter in case it decided to rain on them. She sat down under the tree as Lily toddled around just a few feet away from her. Giggling and rolling around in the grass. Kelly smiled warmly. Whatever trouble's she'd have to go through were worth it. Lily was worth it.

"She's a cute kid"

Kelly was startled out of her thoughts by a man standing to the left of her. She instantly became defensive.

"Hey, it's okay, calm down. I'm not Lucifer and I'm not going to hurt you or the kid. I'm here to help", assured the man who held his hands up in surrender.

The man had whisky eye's, kind of golden. He also had a wicked grin across his face but it was cheeky rather than menacing. 

"Who are?!" Ordered Kelly with as much conviction as she could, scooping Lily up in her arms.

"I'm pretty much family now, I guess. I'm Gabriel".

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been two days since their great escape and Sam and Dean had manged to do little else other than sleep and eat. Well Sam had slept but not really eaten and Dean had eaten but not really slept. Dean spent a lot of time hunched in a chair next to Sam to make sure he was okay. He hadn't missed how restless Sam's sleep had been. He seemed to be having a lot of nightmares, sometime's waking up screaming and sweating. Dean slept when he could, napped in the chair. But during the second day, Mary had sternly but softly ordered Dean to get a shower and some proper sleep in his bed. Dean couldn't bring himself to argue and he knew his mom and Cas would make sure Sam was fine. After a full seven hours of sleep, Dean checked in on Sam before sauntering to the kitchen where his mom and Cas sat. 

"You're up, feeling any better?" asked Mary.

"Much. Want any bacon?", offered Dean as he threw some bacon into a frying pan.

"Always", smiled Mary who was glad to see her oldest boy looking more like himself. 

Dean smiled and turned to Cas as he cooked, "Hey Cas? Do you know back when you took all the crap away from Sam when his wall broke? Could that stuff come back? Like the things he saw?" questioned Dean carefully, trying not to let too much slip in front of Mary. Mary's attention was already rearing it's head though. Had been since she'd seen Sam's reaction when they first got to his cell but she figured it wasn't the time to ask.

"I'm not sure Dean, it isn't exactly a situation that has happened more than once. I have nothing to reference it against. Why? Are you concerned about Sam? Well, more concerned than usual?"

"I don't man, it's just that he seemed to think I was someone else when we first got to his cell. I guess I wondered if maybe, being locked up in there had brought some of that crap back", muttered Dean quietly. 

"When Sam wakes up, we'll know more but there isn't any use in worrying about something that is purely speculation", stated Castiel.

Dean passed Mary a plate and sat down to eat his own. God, did it feel good to eat proper food. He would never take bacon for granted again from this point on.

As Dean shovelled through his bacon, Sam trudged into the kitchen.

"Hey", he greeted through a yawn, at his family. 

"Hey, sleeping beauty's finally made an appearance. Want some bacon?" offered Dean.

"No, thanks. Don't think my stomach could handle bacon right now. I think I'll get some toast though"

"Dude, you need more than toast to build your strength back up! I'm scared that if we walk over a grid, you'll fall right through", joked Dean but his jovial tone was laced with concern.

"I know, I'll have something else when I've woken up a bit more", bargained Sam. 

Dean grunted an agreement and Sam made himself toast. He sat down with Dean, their mom and Cas as he picked at the toast. 

"How are you feeling Sam?" questioned Castiel, not so subtly.

"Fine...thanks Cas", Sam slowly replied, frowning slightly. 

"Anything you'd like to talk about? You know, a problem shared as they", mumbled Castiel.

"Don't hurt yourself Cas", chuckled Dean lightly. 

"I'm fine", confirmed Sam once again. Dean noticed his eyes briefly flash towards Mary. This clearly wasn't a conversation he wanted in front of Mary. So Dean changed the subject.  

"Hey Sammy, no offence but it might be a good idea to get a shower and a shave", offered Dean, giving Sam an out. 

Sam simply grunted in agreement as he left his barely touched toast, on the table and went to shower. 

"Dean, is there something going on? With Sam, you and Cas seemed concerned?", asked Mary quietly. 

"Everything's fine mom, at least it is now we're home. Me and Cas are just overprotective, Sammy's still the baby of the family", shrugged Dean. Mary just nodded, not buying it at all but not arguing either. 

"Right, Sam needs to fatten up so I'm going to cook him something he'll actually like", announced Dean looking through the cupboards.

"Damn, we're gonna need to make a run..we have nothing", reported Dean. 

"I'll go, I need to feel useful so if getting you boys some food is what you need, I'll do it", offered Mary. Dean wondered if she knew Sam was waiting for time alone with Cas and Dean to spill and was getting out of the way. Dean hoped she wouldn't take it personally. 

"Thanks Mom, that'd be great", smiled Dean as he squeezed Mary's shoulder, "and thanks for being here".

Mary pulled Dean into a quick hug before nodding to Cas and heading out. Now, it was time to actually use their words. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam emerged from the bathroom, freshly dressed and shaven but it just made him look skinnier. Dean and Cas had retreated to the war room after Mary left. 

"Hey, where's mom?"

"Gone on a food run...sit down Sam", told Dean. 

"Okay, I know you've been itching to interrogate me but I didn't wanna freak mom out", admitted Sam.

"Yeah I get that but we have some time now, what's going on?", urged Dean. 

Sam sighed wearily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I don't think Lucifer is in the cage", admitted Sam.

"What? We sorted that, Rowena sent him back. How could he not be in the cage?", objected Dean.

"I don't Dean, I mean, it's freaking Lucifer! Is it all that surprising that the devil managed to figure out a way to swerve Rowena's spell?" Sam snapped.

"Sam, what makes you think that Lucifer is still walking the earth?", queried Cas, calmly.

"He visited me. In the prison", Sam revealed.

Cas and Dean exchanged doubtful glances.

"Sam...Do you think it's possible that this could be like before? Like when your wall broke?", approached Dean carefully. At the mention of Sam's wall breaking, Cas's eye's filled with shame.

"It's not the same", responded Sam, simply.

"Care to elaborate Sammy?"

"It's hard to explain Dean. At first it was just dreams or flashback or whatever. About 3 days after we were arrested, I started getting visions of the cage. Memories of it. At first I thought maybe it was just having to deal with Lucifer again and then being locked up, messing with my head. I didn't think anything of it but they never went away and in the last week, something changed. Lucifer started visiting me in my dreams. Like he did all those years before the failed apocalypse. Back then, he visited me whilst I slept, disguised as Jess. He started doing the same thing. He would disguise himself as one of you guys, pretending to get me out of there in an attempt to trick me into saying yes to him but I'm used to his head games so I caught on pretty quickly. It feels different than the hallucinations. I know this is the same thing that happened before, when he wanted my vessel", insisted Sam. 

"Sam, if Lucifer has been visiting you in the last week, why haven't you been praying?", asked Cas softly. 

"I did, a lot. I wanted to warn you...Lucifer must have been blocking my prayers somehow", guessed Sam. 

"I don't get it, I thought Lucifer had moved on from you, to has-been celebrities and politicians? Why start all this again?', demanded Dean. His anger started bubbling under his skin. His anger was directed towards Lucifer, not his brother but Dean didn't miss the slight flinch from Sam when his voice rose. 

"Things have changed. He's got even more of a reason to stick around now. None of his other vessels had been sticking, look what happened to Vince. He wants his true vessel. One that won't start disintegrating after 5 minutes", murmured Sam. 

"Did he care to tell you what's got him begging to jump your bone's?" Dean broke in. 

Sam paused, "His daughter". 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not so sure about this chapter and I know not a whole lot has happened but I'm building up to it. You'll see more of Gabriel and lily in the chapter


	3. The Sins Of The Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean try to deal with the last few weeks but there's no time to relax when lucifer and his kid are running around. At least they have Cas and Mary to help. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Lily continues to grow but will Kelly accept the help of the mischievous archangel?

_I am the crazy man_  
_Who lives inside your head_  
_But I think I'm breaking through the wall_  
  
_You are the innocent_  
_Convicted of the crime_  
_No one was ever there_  
_To catch you when you fall_

_\- The Sins Of The Father, Black Sabbath_

* * *

It'd been 3 weeks since Sam and Dean had gotten out of the prison. Neither man wanted to admit how much their prison stint had shook them up. They'd both been through much worse and they were determined that a few weeks in a human prison wasn't going to hold them back. 

As much as they pushed it down, both men had been struggling with their isolation but it was okay now, they were home but Dean couldn't shake the worry or anger he felt for his brother. 

Dean was pissed. Pissed that freaking Lucifer had been hounding his baby brother AGAIN and that he wasn't there to help. He was pissed at the people who'd arrested them and most of all, he was pissed at Lucifer. He'd tortured Sammy for years in hell, possessed his best friend and honorary brother and then tried to kill Sam whilst possessing said best friend. Now he had once again, tortured Sam with memories from the cage and used their little family to try and trick him. He promised himself he'd find a way to kill Lucifer and gank the son of a bitch for going anywhere near Sam again. 

"Penny for your thoughts?", smiled Mary, bringing him out of his inner rage. 

"Just..."

"Just worrying about Sam?", offered Mary, smiling softly. 

"Yeah", Dean admitted.

"Me too, but you need to take care of yourself too", clucked Mary as she took some pie out the fridge, placing some on a plate and sliding in front of Dean. Her eyes bore into him. He could tell she was leaving no room for argument. 

"Thanks mom", Dean grinned, wolfing down his pie.

"Dean, what's going on? I know you boys are just settling back in and you've said that Lucifer is still around and now his daughter is too, apparently but I can't help but think that you're leaving bits out", questioned Mary softly. There was no acussatory tone in her voice, only concern.

Dean opened his mouth to answer just as Sam wondered into the kitchen. He looked a little better. Some color had returned to his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes looked less dramatic and he looked less like death warmed up. He was still far too scrawny and Dean could tell he was drowning. For Dean, his nightmare had ended when he'd gotten out of that shit hole they were locked up in but for Sam, it kind of felt like his nightmare had only just begun. He still ended up screaming in his sleep from cage memories, courtesy of Lucifer. Sam didn't say that's what was going on but he didn't need to. Sam didn't talk about whether or not he was still trying to get him to say 'yes' either but Dean figured as much.  

Sam was struggling, therefore Dean was worrying.

Dean was making up for lost time and eating everything he could get his hands on, so his strength was building again. Sleep wasn't as simple though, he was too busy fussing over Sam to get a peaceful night. Mary and Cas stood around, both feeling a little lost on how to help but given the revelation about Lucifer and his kid, they had that to get stuck in. Cas had filled them in about how he'd lost that Kelly chick. Sam and Dean had also had to tell their mom about Lucifer being free and his kid but they left out the parts that involved Sam but it wouldn't be long before it came out. Dean hadn't known what to say to her question so he was relieved when Sam had walked in.

"Hey Sam, want some pie?", asked Mary gently. 

Sam went to decline but he was receiving a pointed look from Dean and Mary's eye's were slightly pleading.

"Sure, thanks mom", agreed Sam as he plastered on his most convincing smile. Dean wasn't fooled, he eyed him over his coffee. The pastry crumbled in his mouth, the bitty texture only served to bring back memories of sterile mental hospitals and perfectly innocent sandwiches which his brain had managed to turn into a bug sandwich. His stomach churned and he did his best not to grimace. Although eating was the last thing on his mind, he knew he needed too physically and he wanted to please his brother and mom. It worked, they both sat smiling at him. Sam squirmed a little in his sit at the awkwardness of the situation.

"So, find anything more on Lucifer or the kid?", queried Sam in an attempt to steer the attention away from himself.

"Well, Lucifer isn't going to be easy to find but Cas think's that Kelly should be easier, he's actually confused as to why he hasn't found her already. She's a human, she shouldn't be warded or anything but he hasn't found her yet...He's chasing up some leads now, donning his Agent Beyonce persona", smirked Dean affectionately and the thought of their friend brought a genuine smile to Sam. 

"Sam, Dean? I know I haven't been apart of your lives for a long time and I haven't earned your trust yet but if I'm sticking around to help out with our current problem, I'm going to need to know everything. I can tell there's stuff you're leaving out. Like, why Lucifer is targeting Sam and why none of you seem surprised by this, for one?", Mary paused, "Look, I don't want to make you boys uncomfortable or say anything you don't want too but I can't go into this with my eye's closed".

Dean store at his mug, as if it suddenly became the most interesting thing on the planet. He didn't want to say more than Sam wanted him too, so he left it up to him.

"Mom, it's not about not trusting you, it's about...", Began Sam.

"About what?", asked Mary softly, urging him to continue.

"Protecting you, I guess? Or maybe myself", mumbled Sam.

"Sam, you don't have to protect me"

"We have a lot of history with Lucifer. I, particularly have a lot of history with Lucifer", admitted Sam. Mary did not like where this was going at all.

"What kind of history?", she asked carefully.

"About 7 years ago now, Lucifer was first set free from the cage in hell that God had locked him in and he started appearing to me in my dream's then too, trying to get me to say yes to him possessing me because as it turns out, I'm his true vessel", explained Sam, sheepishly.

"Yeah and I'm Michael's, Lucifer's big bro's, true vessel. They wanted us both to let them wear us to prom so they could fight it out but having a battle like that would have pretty much nuked the world", added Dean.

"So what happened?", questioned Mary, not quite able to take in the fact that her children were some how destined to be the vessel's of archangels.

"Well, we couldn't let Lucifer do his thing because he wanted to start the apocalypse but we couldn't let Michael kill him either because the battle could have took half the world out, so with the help of another archangel, we developed a plan to send him back to the cage that God originally put him in but that required...The only way we could think to get Lucifer back down there was for me to say 'yes' to him, to let him possess me. We'd known in the past, people who had managed to take control for a little while, whilst they were being possessed so the plan was to have me say 'yes', take back control and jump into the cage, taking Lucifer down with me", explained Sam, rushing a little over his words.

"Yeah and I still think it was a sucky plan", moaned Dean.

"But it worked", interjected Sam.

"Sam...I'm...How did you get out?", asked Mary, her voice thick with emotion she was trying to force back down.

"Cas got me out, well part of me. He got my vessel out but not my soul and then Death, as in the horseman, got my soul out"

"How long?"

"About a year and a half"

"Although, time works differently in hell so it was more like, say almost 200 years. Maybe more if time extends even more in the cage then in does in the rest of hell", added Dean absentmindedly until Sam kicked his leg.

"Ouch!", moaned Dean but as he saw Mary's horrified expression, he'd realized his mistake.

"It's okay, mom, really! It wasn't that bad", smiled Sam.

Dean wanted to scoff but also understood Sam's desire to downplay things to their mom. 

"I can't even imagine...I'm sorry Sam", Mary offered gently, "What was all the talk about walls breaking?"

"When I got back from the cage, properly with my soul intact, it caused some...problems", stated Sam.

Dean could not help the scoff this time which earned him a 'bitch face' from Sam. 

"Long story short, the memories of the cage were supposedly enough to kill me so Death put a so-called wall up in my head that would stop me from remembering but eventually things started coming through and in the end, the whole wall came down and it caused...it made me think that Lucifer was there when he wasn't...That's why Dean thought that the dreams and visions could have all been a figment of my imagination", admitted Sam as he looked down at the table. Mary noticed he seemed embarrassed or ashamed about what he'd just told her. 

A stray tear escaped Mary's hold on her emotions and she hesitantly squeezed her baby's hand. She was hesitant to touch him, scared that after all he'd been through, all he'd had no control over, that she hadn't earned the right to touch him. But when he warmly squeezed her hand back, she made her way to him, completely enveloping him a hug. Sam sunk into her, taking in the way she smelled and the way her arms felt. Mary lay a hand on her youngest's hand, remembering the baby she'd lost when she'd died and hadn't been there to help when he was growing up. 

Mary sat back down, wiping her eye's as Cas returned to bunker, joining the Winchester's.

"Well, is there anything you're not telling me Dean? Any trips to god awful places I don't know about?" queried Mary, only half joking. Dean laughed nervously and on cue, Cas piped up.

"Well Dean has been to hell, heaven and purgatory. Sam has too, actually. I'm almost certain they're the only human's who can say they've been to all three", Cas added casually. Dean sighed. Internally and sarcastically thanking Cas for that one.

"What?!", exclaimed Mary.

"Yeah about that", laughed Dean nervously, "I went to hell, not the cage like Sam, it was a different area of hell but yeah, hell. I was there for 4 months or 40 years before Cas dragged my ass out of there. Sam and I both ended up in heaven for a really short period of time when we got shot a while back but, we got brought back obviously and as for Purgatory, I spent a year there and Sam was sort of just passing through on the way back from a trip to collect a soul from hell", explained Dean who was trying to sound casual. 

Mary looked dumbfounded. Her boys had gone through unimaginable things. She wanted to talk them properly about it, to be able to lift some of their burdens. To have them know that she was there for them but she sensed that Sam and Dean probably didn't go about their problem's that way and she knew they had other things on their minds. So she simply, wrapped an arm around both of her boys, lightly planted a kiss on Dean's forehead and then rested her head on his.

"I'm proud of you boys", whispered Mary to her boys. They sank into her hold but the embrace was over too quickly.

"So, Cas, any news?", questioned Sam. 

"I'm concerned Lucifer may have already got to them. They should be easy to find, Kelly has no idea how to ward herself against angel's but it appears that she is. It's possible that Lucifer has already intervened", stated Cas. 

"That's reassuring", replied Dean sarcastically.

"What were you planning to do once you found them anyway?", quizzed Mary.

"The child is an abomination. It also holds the potential for great evil and with the level of power the child will grow to hold and no one besides a human and possibly Lucifer, to guide her, the best option would have been to kill her", stated Cas calmly.

"What?!", exclaimed Sam and Mary in unison.

"Guys, this is a kid we're talking about", reasoned Mary.

"She won't be for long, at least not by human standards. For an angel, she'll still be incredibly young but nephilim's grow at an accelerated pace until their bodies grow to adulthood by human standards and then they physically meet an impasse", informed Cas.

"Child or not, we can't just kill her. She hasn't done anything", implored Sam.

"As far as we know. If Lucifer has got to them, he's going to warp her into something ugly", added Dean.

"What so we kill her on the off chance she might do something? I'm hearing a lot of 'if's' and 'maybe's' but we have no idea what's actually going to happen, we can't kill her 'just in case'! What happened to saving people?", protested Sam. 

"She's not a person Sam", objected Cas.

"Yes she is, at least partly. She's a person who didn't ask for this! It's not her fault who one of her parents is, she didn't ask to be born but she was and we should help her not kill her. Just because she's Lucifer's daughter, does not automatically make her evil, she can be good", argued Sam.

"Sam...", Dean started but was interjected by Sam. "No Dean! Look at the amount of hunters who wanted me dead, way back when. When hunters new about the demon blood Azazel fed me, they wanted me dead and you fought for me! I know I made mistakes but I wasn't evil, I tried to do the right thing. Maybe if someone helps this kid, she can avoid making the kind of mistakes that I made", pleaded Sam. 

Dean sighed, "this debate may be pointless if Lucifer has got her".

"But if he hasn't, we're not going to kill her?", questioned Sam. 

"Not unless she gives us a reason too", agreed Dean and Cas nodded his agreement. 

"Well that's good to hear", chimed a familiar voice from behind them. Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary were fight ready instantly. Cas withdrawing his angel blade and the humans withdrawing their guns. 

Sam, Dean and Cas stood looking shocked and confused at the new arrival. Mary looked straight up confused. 

"I'm disappointed, turns out it was a gun...I was hoping you were just glad to see me", smirked the unexpected figure. 

"Gabriel?", inquired Sam in disbelief.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

"In the flesh", grinned Gabriel. 

The three Winchester's stood in shock, whilst Cas stepped from around them.

"Brother? Brother." Confirmed Cas as he gripped Gabriel in a hug. 

"Hey Cassie, you've changed since I was last here, less of a stick up your butt and more...cuddly", chuckled Gabriel.

"Brother, I can assure you. There was never any stick up my vessel's rear", frowned Cas. 

"There's the Cas we know and love", laughed Gabriel, patting his younger sibling on the Shoulder.  

"Thought you were dead?", questioned Dean. 

"I was, thanks to Luci but after Dad and our favourite aunt made up, he brought me back", explained Gabriel. Gabriel took in the three hunters who still had their guns on him. "C'mon guys, aren't we old friends? There's no need for weapons", stated Gabriel, hands up in surrender.

"Friends? I'm not sure if that's the word I'd use", scoffed Sam.

Gabriel clutched his chest in mock pain, "Sam, I'm hurt, I thought we were besties....I did kind of die to help you save the world".

"True but you did a lot of stuff before that too", protested Sam.

"True but I think we're passed all that. Beside's, even if I were a threat, those guns wouldn't be any use to you. Remember when you boys kept poking me with sticks to try and kill me? Barely tickled", smirked Gabriel.

Knowing he was right Sam and Dean put their guns away and Mary followed their lead. 

"What are you here for? Not that I'm not pleased to see you Gabriel, I am but I'm also surprised", asked Cas. 

"Shall we sit down first? Have some tea, catch up?" mocked Gabriel, wearing his trademark smirk. 

"What do you want?" Ordered Dean. 

"So impatient Dean-o. I'm here to help", insisted Gabriel innocently. 

"Hold on a sec, catching up here. So, wait, you're Gabriel? As in, told Mary she was pregnant, Gabriel?", questioned Mary.

"That's me, although it didn't happen exactly like the bible tells it but I did deliver the good news. They hadn't developed pregnancy tests back when Mary got knocked up", confirmed Gabriel. 

"And you're the one who gave Sam the idea to jump in the cage with Lucifer?", asked Mary, voice growing cold. 

"He did what now?! Are you crazy?", Exclaimed Gabriel to Sam. 

"You told us we had to use the horseman rings to open the cage and put Lucifer back there, he wasn't exactly going to go voluntarily...it was your idea", defended Sam. 

"Well you really took that idea and ran with it didn't ya Sammy. Ran straight off a Cliff with it", scoffed Gabriel. 

"Okay, enough of the chit chat...why are you really here and don't give me any of the bull crap about being here to help", ordered Dean gruffly. 

"Someone got up of the wrong side of bed this morning, didn't we sunshine? But have it your way, I'm here about Lily", admitted Gabriel. 

"Lily, who's Lily?", queried Cas. 

"Lily Kline. Our niece, daughter of Lucifer. Her mother had been moving them around, trying to stay out of the way but they were easy to find. Lily was growing powerful, she cried and it nearly took down her motel room. Someone needed to step it before Lucifer did and she is family, so I stepped in and offered her mother my help. The kid is going to need someone to look after her who know's how to help her to control her power and I do. Her mother was hesitant but I think she knew she was way in over her head so she agreed to let me help. I've warded them which is why you couldn't find them Cas", explained Gabriel. 

"Okay, so why come to us?", wondered Dean aloud.

"I need help. I can't take them to heaven, they'd have a target on their heads from other angel's, so I need somewhere safe on earth to keep them. These digs of yours, probably one of the safest places on earth against the supernatural", admitted Gabriel. 

"Wait, you want to keep a little kid here? Hell no", argued Dean. 

"Before you know it, she'll practically be an adult and her mother and I will look after her...you won't even know that she's here and in return, I'll help you with you're Luci problem", offered Gabriel. 

"Let's just say we said yes, do you really think this is the safest place to keep them? We usually attract danger and it wouldn't be the first time Lucifer has managed to get in here", stated Sam.

"That's true but it's as safe as it's going to get. I'll add a few extra adjustments, some more warding...it'll be fine", shrugged Gabriel.

"I'm still not on board with having two strangers here, one that's potentially really powerful", scowled Dean.

"Dean, c'mon, they do need keeping safe and Gabriel can do that whilst making sure that Lily doesn't go dark side, it's a win-win situation", reasoned Sam.

"What, so you're really happy to have Gabriel and two strangers staying in our home?", questioned Dean. 

"No, I'm not but I do want to help Kelly and her daughter, Dean. What we do, it sometimes feels like we're always losing. Maybe we kill the monster but people still end up dying. If we can help Kelly and her kid, it would feel like a win. Lily may be a nephilim, she may be Lucifer's daughter but she's still a person. A child. A child who's life is automatically made harder because of who she is and it'd be kinda nice if we could help in some way. Plus it's not like he's asking us to raise the kid, they just need a safe place to crash for a while", convinced Sam.

"Fine, but you better keep an eye on her! And this is just till we've gotten rid of Lucifer and it's safe enough for you to leave", ordered Dean.  

"So where are they?", asked Mary. 

"Oh, there just in the other room", told Gabriel nochalantly. 

"They're already here? Wait, course they are", groaned Dean. 

Gabriel disappeared and walked back through with the woman they'd spoken with weeks ago, Kelly, the little girls mom. A child was trailing behind her mom, her hand intertwined tightly with her mom's. She was scared. Kelly guided her daughter forward. 

The little girl looked around 6 or 7 physically but she was still really just a newborn. She seemed like a sweet kid. Brown curls framed her face, a bow clip pushing it from her eyes. Her eyes were bright and green. Freckles were scattered over he nose and cheeks and dimples formed as she aimed a shy smile at Sam. Sam smiled his best 'there's nothing to be afraid of' smile at the little girl who looked terrified. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?", Kelly asked Gabriel nervously. 

"It's the safest place", Gabriel simply stated and Kelly nodded reluctantly. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

It'd been just two days since Kelly, Lily and Gabriel had moved into the bunker. Dean, Sam and Mary took on a case to get out of the way, noticing how uncomfortable Kelly seemed around them all. 

They'd just finished up a hunt involving a nest of vamps when Cas called. 

"Hey Cas, what's up?", asked Dean as he put the phone on loud speaker in the impala. 

"Kelly is missing", confessed Cas. 

"What?! Dude, it's literally been two days and she has two angel's keep tabs on her! How the hell is she missing?", groaned Dean. 

"Gabriel and I, took Lily outside to learn her how to control her power and we left Kelly inside sleeping. She'd left a note saying she'd gone to pick up food but that was 7 hours and go and we can't get a hold of her or find her", explained Cas. 

"Okay, we're on our way back. We're about 1 hour away, we'll help you look", offered Sam. 

\------------------------------------

With Dean's driving, it took 40 minutes rather than an hour, before they were back at the bunker. The angel's had made no progress in finding Kelly and Lily was starting to get upset. The furniture began to tremble as Lily fought back tears. The young girl, seemed to have taken a liking to Gabriel however and he managed to calm her down. 

"Okay, so you've tried your angel stuff and it hasn't worked so let's do things the old fashioned way...we'll check her gps", suggested Dean, "Jackpot! We have her location...well at least her cell phone's location but at least it's a start". 

"Okay so what's the plan?", inquired Mary.

"I think you, Cas and I should go chase this up, try to find Kelly and Sam should stay here with Gabriel and Lily", told Dean.

"What, why do I have to stay here?", moaned Sam. 

"I don't trust Gabriel enough to leave him here alone. We'd probably come back to water slides or some crap all over the place which would be cool but impractical so someone needs to keep an eye on him. Plus there's a chance that this could have something to do with Lucifer and if that's the case, I don't want him in a ten mile radius of you okay?", reasoned Dean.

"Fine!" Huffed Sam. Mary chuckled affectionately, squeezing Sam's shoulder before she, Dean and Cas prepared to leave.  

"Be careful", ordered Sam with concerned eye's. 

"Aren't I always, Sammy?" Laughed Dean. 

Sam scoffed as he waved his family off. 

"Well, I guess it's just us two now, big foot", smirked the archangel. 

"Yeah, I'm thrilled", deadpanned Sam. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

His family had only been gone for 2 hours but Sam was already itching for them to get home. Spending 7 weeks in isolation will do that to you. 

He sat in the war room, looking through Men of Letter files for a way to defeat Lucifer. Sam scrubbed a hand over his face and poured himself a glass of whiskey. Over the years, Sam had become completely desensitized to supernatural creatures. Years ago, demon's were big gigs to them but after battling beings such as Lucifer and God's sister, to name a few, there wasn't much that scared him anymore. He could count the things he feared on one hand. 

1.Losing his family. Particularly Dean. Losing Dean was his worst fear but now he had Cas and Mary that were part of that worry too. 

2\. Lucifer.

Lucifer scared him. As much as he hated it, he was the one big bad that still left him absolutely terrified. That hadn't changed because they'd needed him to help defeat Amara. He'd hated stepping into his room after Lucifer took over it. He'd had to resist the urge to flinch any time Lucifer was in a close proximity to him. But he'd stowed his crap because the world was at stake. It was at stake because of him so he'd put up with the anxiety and the general 'icky-ness' he'd felt from having Lucifer around. 

Now though, Lucifer was no longer an ally. He was back to being the biggest threat to their planet so it gave Sam time to dwell on the situation. Spending several weeks in prison with Lucifer bombarding you with visions of hell and having him visit you in yours dreams didn't help either. He was spent and he wished for once, there wasn't some big battle ahead of them. That they could go back to simple cases like spirits and werewolves, enjoying their home and their family in between hunts. 

"I thought alcoholism is your brothers gig, not yours", Gabriel feigned disapproval and brought Sam from his thoughts.

"Yeah well, you know what they say, don't knock something until you've tried it", muttered Sam. 

"You seem angsty...I mean, I know that's yours and Dean-o's signature move but you seem even more emo than usual", observed Gabriel. 

"Nope, just researching", denied Sam, "How's Lily?"

"Asleep. She's worried about her mom but she's okay"

"Poor kid", sighed Sam.

Gabriel only nodded and an uncomfortable silence fell over them. 

"So, wise guy, jumping in the cage? Really?", quizzed Gabriel with an arched eyebrow.

"You told us to use the horseman's rings to open the cage and get him back in, how'd you think we were going to get him in there?", jibed Sam, rolling his eye's.

"I don't know, use some shackles with enochian sigil's etched into them or something and then push him in...I wasn't expecting you to take a swan dive", admitted Gabriel. 

"Well we tried the whole enochian hand cuff idea with Lucifer this time around and it didn't work...Plus that would have meant sending the poor son of a bitch, he was possessing back then, down with him", shrugged Sam.

"Well the guy did say 'yes' to Lucifer, he would've only had himself to blame"

"That doesn't mean he deserved to spend an eternity being tortured by a pissed of archangel", argued Sam.

"What? But you did deserve that?" Frowned Gabriel. 

"I was the one who let him out in the first place. It was my mess to fix. Maybe the crap that went on down there...maybe it was punishment enough that I could earn some forgiveness", thought Sam aloud, the alcohol making his lips loose. 

"Trust me, I know my brother, if what I imagine he did to you is anything close to what actually happened... well no one deserves that", stated Gabriel. 

"Did you know Michael was down there too?", questioned Sam carefully.

"Michael? No, I mean it was obvious something happened because he isn't exactly around but I've only just come back, there hasn't been much time to catch up. How'd he end up down there?", asked Gabriel.

"When I took the dive into the cage, Michael tried to pull me back. He was intent on having their big show down, so I pulled him down with me", admitted Sam.

"Yikes, so you not only spent hundreds of years locked up with Lucifer but with Michael too? Oh Dad, that couldn't have been fun. I imagine Michael wasn't too pleased with you, having dragged him down there", the archangel grimaced. 

Sam huffed out a snort in reply before silence fell over them once again.

"Gabriel, do you think you can take him down? Lucifer, that is?", asked Sam quietly.

"I don't know. I don't think I could kill him. I couldn't last time but I might be able to put him away again, why do you ask?"

"We thought we found a way to send him back to the cage. A powerful witch with the book of the damned at her disposal, failed to send him back. It seems like he always manages to worm his way out of anything we throw at him. I was starting to think that...what if I had to do it again? I mean, if Lucifer decides to up his game and end the world again and there's no other way, I'd do it. I don't even know if it's a possibility now but if it was and I had too, I'd jump back in there with him...It's just, the thought of being there again...", choked Sam, voicing fears that he didn't even realize he had.

"Hey! That's not happening. There's no way me or your family are gonna let you do that again Sammy boy. We'll find a way", promised Gabriel, more serious than Sam was used to seeing him. 

Sam nodded before pausing, "why do you even give a damn about what happens to me?", wondered Sam. 

"Look, I know we didn't get off to the best of starts but I want you to know that you can trust me. I'm not going to hurt you or your family. I mean I did die to help humanity so you'd think that'd give me a few brownie points", grinned Gabriel.

"You also trapped me in a time loop that forced me to re-live my brother's death every day, over and over again. It's one of the worst memories I have and I have a few of those to choose from. So forgive me if I'm a little apprehensive about your intentions", countered Sam. 

"Yeah, sorry about that. Believe it or not though, I was trying to help in my own way. But I did lose my way for a long time. I lost sight of what we were supposed to do, protect your human's. I hid behind the trickster and I was too much of a coward to challege my family but in the end I saw the error of my way and 'blah blah blah' you know the rest. And as irritating as you and that knucklehead brother of yours are, I have a soft spot for you both as far as human's go", smirked the archangel.

"Well, as far as archangels go, you're not my least favourite", smirked Sam. 

"That means a lot, really Sam", mocked Gabriel. 

Sam's phone rang out, startling him.

"Hey Dean, found her?", questioned Sam.

"Define found", mumbled Dean.

"What do you mean?", frowned Sam in confusion. 

"She's dead Sam. We found her body. And it looks like Lucifer got to her".

 


	4. Brother's In Arms

_Through these fields of destruction_  
_Baptisms of fire_  
_I've witnessed your suffering_  
_As the battle raged high_  
_And though they did hurt me so bad_  
_In the fear and alarm_  
_You did not desert me_  
_My brothers in arms_

_\- Brother's In Arms, Dire Straits_

* * *

"What happened?", sighed Sam.

"We found her in some alley. Eye's burned out", stated Dean.

"That could have been any angel, what makes you think this is Lucifer?", questioned Sam.

"He left...a note, kinda", said Dean.

"What are you talking about?", frowned Sam.

"There was a Devil's trident carved into her chest...doesn't that screams Lucifer's sense of human to you?", grimaced Dean.

"Yeah, sounds like him. Okay, get back here as soon as you can. We need to regroup", sighed Sam as he ended the call.

"You get that?", asked Sam to Gabriel who simply nodded.

"We're gonna have to tell Lily", stated Gabriel.

"Is that going to go well? I mean, you've been helping her harness her power for all of five minutes. If she gets upset, things could get messy", wondered Sam cautiously.

"What choice do we have? She's already asking where her mom is", sighed Gabriel. 

"You're right", nodded Sam.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gabriel and Sam entered the room where the girl was sleeping. Sam swore she looked a little older than the last time her saw her earlier that day. Lily woke instantly on their arrival. Her senses warning her to the intruders entering but as she saw Sam and Gabriel, she relaxed, rubbing sleep from her eye's.

"Is mommy back yet?", murmured the young girl tiredly.

Sam took a chair near her bed, as Gabriel perched on the edge of it.

"Hey Kiddo, I'm afraid not", answered Gabriel in a soft voice that Sam had never heard from the angel before. 

"Why not? Where is she?", blinked Lily in confusion.

"She's gone away kiddo", told Gabriel softly.

"What?! Why?! Did I do something? Did she leave because I break things and make things happen when I don't mean to?! Because I'll be better, I'll learn not too", cried the little girl desperately. As Lily grew more distressed, the room in the bunker went nuts. Books flying off the shelves, lights shutting on and off and the whole place shook like an earthquake was hitting. Gabriel went to intervene physically with his grace but Sam stopped him. Bending down to the eye level of the little girl, he held her hands.

"Hey, Lily? It wasn't anything you did, okay? Your mom loved you more than anything. None of this is your fault, okay sweetheart? The things you can do, the things that happen sometimes...That's not something you're doing wrong. It's just something that is part of you, that makes you special and Gabriel over here is going to teach you how to control it so you don't break things anymore. Your mom didn't leave because of that. Lily, your mom didn't choose to leave. She loved you a lot...Sometime's the people we love can get taken away from us. Sometimes people die and that's sad and you'll be sad about it for while and that's okay. Your mom's gone to this place called Heaven. And in Heaven, people get to live in their happiest memories. So your mom's going to be okay too", explained Sam softly to the little girl who's eye's were wet with tears. 

Sam hadn't noticed, but at some point whilst he was talking to Lily, the room had settled. The shaking had stopped, the lights were back and the flying objects lay discarded on the floor. Sam smiled at the scared kid.

"See, you did good", praised Sam, motioning towards the room. Lily flung her arm's around Sam's neck, hugging him, as tears cascaded down her cheeks. Sam was a little taken aback, having no experience with kids but he did know what it was like to be a scared kid. To have people you love, die. To have something inside of you, that you didn't choose, that makes people see you as tainted. He didn't know how to take care of a kid but he did know what he needed back when he was a child, so he tried to level in a way with Lily, that would have helped him back then.

The kid was exhausted from the heavy sobs that shuddered through her small body, so Gabriel lay two fingers on her head and sent her off to sleep again. Gabriel and Sam left for the war room.

"You're good at that", observed Gabriel, "with the kid".

"You don't hunt the things that go bump in the night without coming across a few traumatized kids. You have to learn how to calm them down", stated Sam, brushing him off.

"It was more than that, you knew how to level with her. Stopped me from using my grace to intervene and talked her down. I think you're gonna be useful around here, sunshine but why did you stop me from using my grace?", questioned Gabriel with an arched eyebrow.

"An angel's grace, it can be...intense. Using it to physically influence a person can be...overwhelming. Lily may be powerful but she's still just a scared kid...if you'd have tried to reign her in with your grace, it could have made things worse", shrugged Sam. 

"Lucifer? Was he the guy with the "overwhelming" grace", asked Gabriel carefully. Sam's eye's flashed with fear before falling to the ground. 

"In the cage, I could see or maybe sense Lucifer and Michael's grace. There true forms. On earth all that I ever saw was their vessel but down there it was different. I could feel everything in 4D. Every move they made, I could feel that raw energy and power. They used their grace to...torture my soul. So yeah, an angel using their grace on you or whatever way you want phrase it, isn't a fun experience. At least it wasn't for me. I know I'm just a human and Lily is half archangel but she's only been alive for a few weeks and she's already had to cram 6 or 7 years worth of developing into a few weeks, using your grace may have been a bit much for her", reasoned Sam with eyes fixed firmly to the ground.

"I'll keep that in mind", agreed Gabriel, "And I'm sorry Sam. For my brother's. Up in heaven, it's basically one big dysfunctional family. We have bigger daddy issues than you and your brother which is saying something. In between all the drama and dad walking out, the angel's forgot what our purpose was".

"Saving humanity? We've heard the angel's mention the company tag line a time or two but few actually act accordingly, apart from Cas", stated Sam apprehensively.

"Yeah. I guess most of us have deviated way, WAY off of our intended paths. We were made to protect you guy's and our graces...Daddy-o did not make them with the intent to have them cause suffering. Our grace are a beautiful, powerful things. It should never have been used to damage a human soul. It should never have happened. Human souls and angels grace are perhaps, two of Chucks proudest creations...alongside hookers and whiskey obviously", joked Gabriel nervously. Sam had seen a lot of side's to the archangel and a lot of different attitudes and behaviours but nervousness was not one he'd ever witnessed from the cocky angel. Or seemingly genuine remorse either.

Sam shrugged it off and smirked at his distasteful joke about God. "I don't even know why I'm telling you any of this stuff", admitted Sam regretfully. 

"I don't know. Maybe it's because, despite the butch facade you and your brother like to hind behind, you're both giant teddy bears. You're falling apart underneath it all, aren't you? I mean, a lot's happened recently. You think your brother's dead, get kidnapped and tortured. Only to be rescued by said, dead brother and your dead mother. Then she leaves again, plus you, Dean, Crowley and my little bro have to deal with Lucifer again which I'm sure stirred up some healthy and positive emotions from you...oh and then you and your brother get arrested for trying to ice the president and the daughter of Lucifer gets dropped on your doorstep! Miss anything?" Listed Gabriel, melodramatically. 

Sam's eyebrow's raised in surprise at the extent of Gabriel's knowledge.

"I got all caught up from Cassie. Maybe you told me because you needed to tell someone? You couldn't tell Dean because then he'd worry even more and let's be honest, you two aren't the best at using your word's so there goes the closest person in your life. Nope, can't talk to him. As for Mommy dearest? She's just got back and you don't want to scare her away. And Cas? Well you love my little bro like he's family but deep conversations are often met with a puppy-like head tilt so...that leaves this ball of handsomness over here", chirped Gabriel, pointing to himself. 

"I didn't know I'd asked for a psychoanalysis", snorted Sam. 

"You didn’t, I offered up my services ever so kindly. You still gotta pay for it though", jibed Gabriel.

"Oh trust me, I'm paying for it", scoffed Sam as he walked to the kitchen.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean, Mary and Cas trudged down the stairs to the bunker. 

"Hey, everyone okay?", greeted Sam. 

"We're good. Kelly? Not so much. We told her not to go out by herself dammit", exasperated Dean, "Did you tell the kid?".

"Yeah, she's sleeping right now", told Sam.

"How'd it go? I can see the bunkers still standing so, it could of gone worse", acknowledged Dean.

"You're brother here is a regular daddy day care, he handled it. She's upset obviously but she'll get through it", responded Gabriel.

Dean raised his eyes at the daddy day care remark but let it go.

"So what's the plan of action?", asked Dean. 

"We need to find another way to get rid of Lucifer. Killing him seems unlikely so we need to find a way to send him back to the cage that'll actually work", stated Cas gruffly. 

"So research? Go through the Men of Letter's files and see if they have anything that could work? It might be worth getting in touch the British Men of Letter's too, they seem to have a lot of useful resources", suggested Sam.

"British Men of Letter's? As in the people who shot, kidnapped and tortured you, Sam? Why the hell would we go near them?, started Mary.

"It appears not all of the British Chapter are out for the Winchester's heads, just certain individuals. They proved useful before Sam and Dean got arrested", explained Cas to Mary. She hesitantly nodded, clearly not happy with even considering working with people who'd hurt her child but now was not the time. 

"What about the girl? Her mother's gone, what's going to happen?", wondered Mary.

"I'll take care of her, she is my niece after all and the offer doesn't need to change. You guys let's us crash here until Luci's gone and then we'll be out of your hair", offered Gabriel.

Everyone nodded in understanding and got to work instantly on research, all except Gabriel who was tasked with childcare duty. 

The family had been at the books for hours when Dean decided to call it a night, their mom not far behind. Sam promised he'd turn in soon, as he wished goodnight to his family. 

Sam and Castiel remained around the table in the war room, leafing through dusty old files and books. Sam felt his eyelids drooping but caught himself each time.

"You really should get some sleep Sam, you can continue this research in the morning", promised Cas gently. 

It wasn't the research stopping him from going to bed. It was Lucifer. Sam knew he couldn't avoid sleep forever but he was holding out for as long as possible. He didn't want to be plagued with cage memories or Lucifer trying new ways to get him to say that 3 letter word. Sam knew he was beat though so he begrudgingly said goodnight to Cas and made his way to his room. He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

\--------------------------------------

_Pain. All that he could recognize was pain. A pain that didn't hold any sufficient comparison to earthly suffering. It seared through him. Sending jolts of agony through crevices he didn't even know he had._

_He couldn't hear anything beside's the animalistic cry of a broken soul that he faintly recognized in the distance. It took him a while to realize that the tormented yells were his own. He couldn't smell anything beside's the sickening scent of burnt flesh, blood and sulfur. He vaguely acknowledged that it was his own skin burning. He couldn’t see anything beside's a red sheen that blocked his vision. He soon realized that it was his blood falling freely onto his face, blocking his sight. But as the blood grew slower, he longed for blindness once again as he watched the faces of people he cared about torturing him._

_Pain. Only pain. He couldn't recognize senses he once had. It was at the edge, like a word at the tip of your tongue that you know but can't quite get out. But whenever he got close a new wave of unimaginable agony took over. He couldn't smell, hear or see all that much. But he could feel. By god, could he feel. He felt every sliver and crash of pain that was brought down upon him with sickening precision. He felt every word that was spat at him by whichever loved one the devil was wearing today. He felt all of the pain, suffering, grief and guilt he'd ever experienced in such a amplified way. More clarity than could ever be achieved on earth. He felt it all and so wished that he didn't. It never stopped._

_The broken human that was incarcerated in a cage, that was never built for human's, couldn't recognize anything other than pain. But regularly, between whimpers and full blown guttural screams, one name was yelled out into the nothingness. Like an old song that you could never forget the lyrics of. No amount of pain could erase that word from the human's mind. No torture could stop the boy from crying out for his anchor. Even if it was the face that was being used to torture him. He screamed until he could no longer scream and then he'd start over again. He screamed the name of the one thing, he could never let go of. Dean._

\--------------------------------------------------

A agonized scream tore through the bunker. Too desperate and raw to belong to anyone in the bunker, they were safe here. But it did belong to someone. Dean woke up alert. Scanning for a threat. Cry's and pleading echoed in the quiet hallways. Dean recognized those cries. He'd recognize them anywhere. Sammy. Dean jumped to his feet, running in Sam's direction where he met his mom, Cas and Gabriel along the way. All, apparently startled by his brother too. Mary's expression was a mixture of terror and anger. Like she was scared for her son but already pissed as hell at whoever had brought such heartbreaking sounds for her child. Cas's expression was his usual one of mild confusion but Dean had become an expert at reading Cas's relatively limited body language and facial expressions. Cas was concerned. Gabriel was, well Gabriel. He wore his usual cocky smirk but there was a dullness in his eyes and what looked almost like pity. 

The group swung Sam's door open, guns and angel blade's at the ready, all except Gabriel who apprently didn't see the need of a weapon. 

Trained eye's scanned the room for threat but simply found Sam. Sam, who's back was arched from his bed and who's head flung violently from side to side, eye's clenched shut.

"No, no, no, NO! Please. Dean! Stop. No, Dean?!! Please", Screamed out Sam. The 'please' that was added on to the end was so vulnerable and childlike that it made Dean want to cry. Dean instantly knew what was happening. Cage memories courtesy of Lucifer. It didn't escape Dean, that as Sam was trapped in memories of hell, that it was Dean's name he yelled. Dean morbidly wondered if the 'stop' was aimed at him. He wondered if Sam screamed out his name because he was calling out for help or if Lucifer had used his own face to torture his little brother. Could be either. Could be both. 

The only thing Dean was sure of, was that he needed to jolt his brother out of this. But as Dean stepped forward a hand held him back. 

"Dean, if you attempt to wake him up in the midst of a flashback that Lucifer, himself, has forced on Sam...It might not turn out well. He might become violent, at first unaware that he's home", reasoned Cas sadly. 

"I don't give a rats ass if he gets violent, I need to help him and if I get a right hook in the process than so be it", yelled Dean.

"Dean, Cas is right. Forcing him awake might just cause more anxiety and confusion for Sam", spoke Mary softly as she rubbed Dean's shoulder but never let her eye's leave her youngest. 

"Fine but we can't just leave him here screaming the place down", moaned Dean tiredly. 

"I could always use my grace to try and fade out the flashback, have him return to a normal state of sleeping", pondered Cas. 

"I don't think that's a good idea Cassie, Sam associates angel grace with the cage. In the light of day he can rationalise that it's not the same, like when you use it to heal him but when his heads stuck back there...I think feeling your grace would make things worse", interjected Gabriel. 

"I could help", interrupted a soft voice from behind the group. 

"Lily? What are you doing up?", questioned Gabriel. 

"I head Sam when he got upset. I could help", reiterated the little girl. 

"How so?" Asked Cas.

"A little while after I was born, I started seeing things when I slept. A man who said he was my Daddy. He told me that my mom was hiding things from me and that she was keeping me away from him. He tried to make me tell him where we were but I knew mommy would never hurt me and that the man was a bad man so I kind of just...stopped him. I didn't know how at first, I could just block him out but after a couple of nights I learned how to do it on purpose. I can see what Sam is seeing. It's horrible. No wonder he's so sad. It's the same man hurting him that was in my dream's so maybe it's the same thing. Maybe I can make him go away", offered the little girl with horrified and sad eye's, as she store at Sam. 

Gabriel looked impressed at the child, "well it's worth a shot".

The others nodded and Lily glided towards Sam and lay a gentle hand on Sam's forehead. Her brow furrowed in concentration as her eye's flashed, an almost translucent shade of red. With that, Sam's screams dulled to a whimper and his body became slack until eventually, he calmed all together. Lily stood back with a relieved smile.

"It worked", she confirmed.

Sam's eye's shot open and he sprung forward in his bed. Confusion fell over his face as he took in the figures standing in his room. Eventually though, recognition fell over his face. Remembering the dreams that were painfully vivid memories from his time in the cage. He realized he must have been shouting again. Loud enough to wake the entire bunker. Embarrassment filled Sam. 

He noticed the concern in the faces of his loved one's. Sam just wanted to crawl under the bed and hide away. 

Dean noticed the uneasiness from his brother. Sam was obviously uncomfortable with all of the eye's on him.

"Hey, do you guys mind making some breakfast?" asked Dean as he tried to portray the need for time alone with Sam, through his eye's, "It's 5:30 and since we're all up, might as well have an early one and get cracking with the research".

"Sounds like a plan, come on guys, you can help me in the kitchen", instructed Mary. She didn't seem like she wanted to leave her son's but understood they needed space. The two angel's simply followed her. 

Lily remained by Sam's side. She seemed to have taken quite a shine to Sam since he'd talked to her about Kelly. 

"I could see what you saw, so I made it go away", nodded Lily with wide eye's, as she wrapped her arms around Sam. Sam awkwardly hugged her back. Sam wasn't used to having children around, especially one that was as into hugging as Lily was. 

"Thank you, Lily", smiled Sam. 

With that Lily skipped towards the direction that Gabriel had left in.  

"It's official, that kid loves you", smirked Dean.

"She's a sweet kid, she loves everyone", shrugged Sam. 

"So, nightmare?", asked Dean gently. 

"Kinda...more like a memory. A super intense and vivid memory", admitted Sam. 

"You were shouting my name", stated Dean with eye's full of pain. 

"When...you know, I was there. I couldn't really remember anything. The pain just...made all of it fade away but I never forgot your name. You never left my head. And he would sometimes...", Sam trailed off when he realized he'd revealed too much. 

"What? He sometimes used my face when he tortured you?", offered Dean. The words caught in his throat and came out choked.

"Yours, Bobby's, Jess's, Cas's, mom's, dad's but yeah, mostly you", whispered Sam as he sheepishly turned his head away from his brother. 

Dean's stomach churned. He hadn't eaten yet but he thought that was probably a good thing. The thought of his own face and hands torturing the little brother he'd always tried to protect, made him want to hurl. It didn't matter that it wasn't really his hands. It wouldn't have made a difference to Sam when he was down there. 

"Is he still trying to get you to let him in?", asked Dean.

"Not for a while...I think he knows that his tactics weren't working so instead he's trying to break me. I can't sleep without being hounded with memories from the cage. He wants to break me down so that I end up saying 'yes'", admitted Sam quietly.

"That bastard, I swear to god, I will rip his throat out", snarled Dean.

"Dean, you have to be the only person I know who would threaten to rip Lucifer's throat out", grinned Sam.

"Oh, it's not a threat! It's happening, I'm sick of his crap. We've beaten him before and we're in a better position now, we have this place and we know more", promised Dean.

"So enough Lucifer talk, how are you?" questioned Sam.

"Me? I'm not the one being targeted by Lucifer, Sam", pointed out Dean in confusion.

"Yeah but you were in that prison too...you can't stay in one place for five minutes, you must have been climbing the walls. Plus, you've done a stint in hell too...that place bring back memories?" asked Sam carefully.

 _Trust Sam to be worrying about everyone else when he was the one with a target on his head_ , thought Dean. 

"Don't worry about me, Sammy, I'm fine", assured Dean.

"Well somebody's got to worry about you because you sure don't", scoffed Sam.

"Smart ass", remarked Dean.

Sam laughed, "But you're really okay?"

"Aces. At least I will be once we jam the devil back in his box and we can all get on with our lives", nodded Dean.

Sam nodded in agreement.

"Hey what was Lily talking about just now?" wondered Sam.

"She followed the rest of us in here and she said she could see what you saw. Apparently Lucifer went to her in her dreams when she was first born but she figured out how to block him and she did the same for you. I guess she can help you actually sleep for once, you look like a wendigo's a-hole", smirked Dean.

"Lovely description Dean, dick!", chuckled Sam.

"Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4 weeks later...

The inhabitants in the bunker had been holed up in there for four weeks now, constantly huddled over books, only stopping to eat and sleep but they'd yet to come up with anything worth trying. Gabriel helped with research when he wasn't training his young niece to harness her power and strength. Lily looked around 11 or 12 in human years. She had improved significantly in controlling her power. She was a quick learner and was proving to be a force to be reckoned with. She hadn't shattered any glasses or pieces of furniture by mistake, in the last three weeks. She grew at an incomprehensible rate that the human's in the bunker could barely adapt too but the little girl seemed to take life in her stride. She didn't know any different.

Dean had brought up that, once Lily was stronger and older, they could bring her in to help fight Lucifer. It received a resounding 'no' from both Gabriel and Sam. Originally, Lily stuck to Gabriel like glue but over the past few weeks, she'd become more comfortable, socializing happily with the rest of the bunker. It was nice to see the kid, act a little more like a child. She's grown particularly fond of Sam. She trailed around after him with a hero worship that was all too familiar with Dean. It was the way Sam had followed him around and looked up at him like he was superman. It was the way a younger sibling looked up to an older one with such admiration. 

Dean could tell Sam liked having the kid around too. Dean wondered if maybe Sam liked to be around someone who wasn't broken down and jaded by the world that they had grew up in. Sam started to become as protective as Gabriel, probably wanting to protect the light and innocence that shone from Lily. Despite her troubled start in life, Lily had yet to lose that quality. Dean could understand Gabriel and Sam's defiance against allowing Lily to join the battle against Lucifer. Dean didn't exactly like himself for suggesting it either but they were quickly running out of options. 

Lily had been stepping in to block Lucifer when Sam's screams ran through the bunker, but it was still breaking him down. It was never good for the Earth to have Lucifer running around either. 

"Don't you have any cool weapon's up your sleeve that can help us?" asked Dean to Gabriel. 

"No, not anymore", admitted Gabriel, "other than my archangel blade but that sure didn't help me last time".

"What about Crowley? He's always been able to get his hands on those kind of things", suggested Sam. 

"That's a good point, he did get obscure ingredients for the spell in the book of the damned", nodded Cas.

"Working with the king of hell? Again? And I thought Crowley and Rowena were the one's that cast the spell to send Lucifer to the cage before? The spell that didn't work?" questioned Mary exasperated. 

"I know you don't like the idea of working with Crowley but there's bigger fish to fry and he has useful resources at his disposal. Plus we're not asking him to do the job this time. We just need him to fetch us some weapons with a lot of juice and hand them over to Gabriel", said Dean.

"We could at least try", nodded Cas.

Dean flipped out his phone and called Crowley. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So? What did he say?" asked Sam.

"He wants to help, he wants Lucifer gone as much as the next person. So he's going to hand over all of the powerful weapon's he can get his hands on. He wants us to meet him though", added Dean.

"Why not just come here? He doesn't usually need an invitation", scoffed Sam.

"He know's that Lucifer's daughter is here and he doesn't want to be anywhere near her. He say's it's not safe here from Lucifer...doesn't want to be his plaything again", explained Dean. 

"Where does he want us to meet him then?", questioned Sam.

"Fort Collins, Colorado", answered Dean.

"That's around a 6 and a half hour drive", stated Cas.

"Looks like we better get driving then", sighed Sam.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Fort Collins, Colorado**

Dean parked the impala outside of the abandoned warehouse that they'd arranged to meet Crowley in. It was just him, Sam, Cas and Mary. Gabriel had stayed back with Lily. The four of them made their way into the building, weapon's at the ready just in case.

"Crowley?!", yelled Sam. 

"Crowley? Stop dicking around", shouted Dean.

Sam felt the hair on his arms, stand to attention. A chill wracked his body and a breeze caressed his neck. He felt something take seat in the pit of his stomach. Fear. No one else seemed to notice the change in the atmosphere but Sam knew what was coming.

Before he could voice his concern with the rest of the group, a flutter of wings echoed through the empty building.

"I'm sorry, Crowley can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the tone", sing song'd an all to familiar, chilling voice. 

Lucifer.


	5. It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary face off with Lucifer and it might not end well for more than one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it took me a while to get the last chapter done and I wanted to add a little something else to the story whilst I'm working on a longer chapter. 
> 
> It's a shorter chapter but a pivotal one.
> 
> Chapter title taken from the Bob Dylan song. Do not own it or supernatural for that matter

_You lose yourself, you reappear_  
_You suddenly find you got nothing to fear_  
_Alone you stand without nobody near_  
_When a trembling distant voice, unclear_  
_Startles your sleeping ears to hear_  
_That somebody thinks_  
_They really found you._  
  
_A question in your nerves is lit_  
_Yet you know there is no answer fit to satisfy_  
_Insure you not to quit_  
_To keep it in your mind and not forget_  
_That it is not he or she or them or it_  
_That you belong to._  
  
_Although the masters make the rules_  
_For the wise men and the fools_  
_I got nothing, Ma, to live up to._

_\- It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding), Bob Dylan_

* * *

 

The vessel Lucifer was wearing was a 40 something year old man, with shaggy brown hair, cornflower blue eye's and a rounded stomach. The skin on his face was eroding away. Burning under the pressure of holding Lucifer. Sam tried to calm his hitching breaths. 

"Hey bunk buddy! Long time, no cuddling!" Smirked Lucifer menacingly.

Sam, Cas and Mary stood frozen. Dean tried to subtly edge closer to Sam, his protective instinct in over dive, only to be flung across the room by Lucifer. 

Lucifer laughed dramatically.

"See Sammy, this vessel won't last for long...it won't be long before he goes poof", crooned the archangel, "If you'd only say 'yes', you could spare this poor shmuck's life".

"What? So you can use me to manipulate Lily and destroy the rest of the world? No. The answer will always be no!", spoke Sam defiantly but the shake in his voice gave him a way. 

"It really is, isn't it", responded Lucifer, "well I guess you're no use to me then. Lucifer threw Sam across the room and a recovering Dean ran to him. Lucifer stood in front of Mary, as Cas jumped in front of her protectively, angel blade ready. 

"Do you really think that's going to work? Hey, we had some good times together! How about you, going to let your old big bro ride shotgun again?" Asked Lucifer. 

"No, not again. You're no longer needed Lucifer", affirmed Cas. The two angel's fought, exchanging blows until Lucifer eventually got the upper hand, sending Cas into a stone wall and pinning him there. 

Mary began to fight him but she was frozen stiff to the spot which she suspected was courtesy of Lucifer. Sam and Dean both charged at the fallen angel, knowing it was useless but refusing to give in. Dean grabbed at Cas's discarded angel blade and lunged it into Lucifer's shoulder.

"Rude, didn't your mother ever learn you any manners? Oh I forgot, she burnt on the ceiling", snarled Lucifer.

With a simple swipe of a hand, Dean was flung to the wall and pinned next to Cas. It looked as though he was about to do the same with Sam until he paused in thought. A spine chilling grin grew across the face of Lucifer's vessel as he began to draw Sam closer to him, eventually catching him by his throat. 

Sam's eye's grew wide with terror as though he knew what was coming. Lucifer forced a hand through Sam's stomach, light pouring from around the edge's of Lucifer's hand, as Sam let out an agonized yell. 

"No, stop it!", cried Mary.

"I swear to god, I'm going to kill you, you dick", yelled Dean from the wall.

Sam's screams filled the empty warehouse but he looked as though he was fading. 

"You know, if you go poking around at a human soul too much, it can just go 'bang'. One wrong move and they're dead", remarked Lucifer as he plunged his hand deeper into Sam's paling body.

His laugh chimed through the room as he eventually left Sam go. Sam crumpled to the floor, heaving in large breaths. 

Mary struggled to move from her spot, desperate to get to her son, as Lucifer began to circle her. 

"Don't you touch her!" Screamed Dean. 

"Stay away...fr..from her", echoed a raspy and weak Sam. 

Mary watched the evil being walk around her. Too stunned to be afraid. To shocked to be anything other than numb. 

"You know, you're not as good as the real thing", started Lucifer, pointing to Sam, "But you are strong. I think you'd make a sufficient meat seat. You'd definitely last a lot longer than this sad sap I'm currently modelling...So what do you say mama Winchester? Say 'yes' to me and I can take you back to old Johnny boy upstairs". 

"Never. I will never agree to that", exclaimed Mary, "Even if you weren't Satan, you hurt my child. I'd never do anything that you wanted me too!".

"Is that so? Well, I can really see where your boy's get that extremely irritating, bordering on idiotic, stubborn streak from. But everyone has buttons...", thought Lucifer returning back to Sam's heaped form on the concrete. He kicked Sam roughly so he facing upwards, visible to the other's in the room. Lucifer made a fist and Sam began to choke, blood leaking from his mouth as his eye's shone with pain. 

"Stop it! Sammy?! stay with me Sam", yelled Dean as he frantically pulled to try and get free of Lucifer's hold. 

"Get away from him!", cried Mary desperately. 

"Still not got anything to say to me?" Asked Lucifer and as Mary only gave him silence, he turned back to Sam. 

He let go of his clenched fist and Sam's body went limp. 

Mary breathed a sigh of relief but it was far from over. 

Lucifer lifted Sam to his feet and tentatively held two fingers to his head. Sam screamed in agony as he began to clutch his head in pain. Sam sunk to his knee's has Lucifer seemed to intensify this torture. Blood began to stream from Sam's eye's, nose and ears. His hazel eye's looked terrified and his face, so young. Sammy was all alone and in pain. He couldn't die. Not ever but especially not like this. Sam's body writhed on the ground, his struggle gradually ceasing, as his breathing grew more and more shallow.

Dean screamed, pleaded and threatened Lucifer. Desperate for Sam to be okay. Mary felt tears spring from her eye's. 

"Stop this!", Mary pleaded as Sam's body came to a standstill. Mary couldn't see the rise and fall of his chest. He wasn't breathing.

"You can stop all of this Mary, just one ltitle word", told Lucifer earnestly. 

"You'll save Sam?" Questioned Mary doubtfully. 

"Cross my heart", smirked Lucifer. Mary glanced at Dean and Cas, both of them pinned there in shock.

"No, mom...we'll find anoth...", Dean was cut of by Lucifer.

"Enough of the chit chat...Tick tock Mary, time's a wasting! Sam hasn't got time to lose", urged Lucifer. 

Mary glanced at the still form of her youngest son. She couldn't let him die. She couldn't fail him again. 

"Yes! Yes, just leave Sam. I'm saying yes!", Stuttered Mary.

 


	6. The Wind Cries Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Sam survive? Will Dean mange to save his brother and mom from Lucifer. 
> 
> Also, Lucifer plans and the residents in the bunker form a plan to get Mary back.
> 
> Disclaimer - don't own them, sadly

_After all the jacks are in their boxes_   
_And the clowns have all gone to bed_   
_You can hear happiness staggering on down the street footsteps dressed in red_   
  
_And the wind whispers Mary_   
  
_A broom is drearily sweeping up the broken pieces of yesterdays life_   
_Somewhere a queen is weeping_   
_Somewhere a king has no wife_   
  
_And the wind, it cries Mary_

_\- The Wind Cries Mary, Jimi Hendrix_

* * *

 

A light erupted in the dark warehouse, engulfing everyone's view. A piercing ring chimed out before the room returned to it's previous state. 

Dean noticed Lucifer's previous vessel slumped on the ground. Looking very much, dead. Mary was stood exactly where she was before. But the expression she was pulling looked wrong on her face. Too hard and too malicious. Lucifer. He'd manipulated their mom into agreeing to be his vessel and Dean was pissed. But the sight of Sam's still body distracted him from his rage and replaced it with fear. 

Dean hadn't noticed he'd gotten movement back in his body until now. Lucifer swapping vessel's must have broke the hold he'd had on Dean. Wasting no more time, Dean sprinted to his brother. 

Rolling his giant little brother onto his back, Dean's heart skipped a beat. His face was absent of any colour. Ghost white and clammy. His face was no longer pinched in pain and had become neutral, devoid of any life. His body was unnaturally still. 

Dean fumbled at his brother's throat, desperately searching for a pulse. He didn't find one. Sam was dead. Gone. It was over. Cas ran up to him, bending down to check on his friend. 

"Dean...is he?", Stuttered Cas.

"Dead. He's dead", whispered Dean as he gripped his brother's shoulders. 

"You son of a bitch! You said you'd fix him! You told my mom that you'd stop this if she said yes and she said yes, you manipulative bastard!", yelled Dean as his anger resurfaced. 

"Dean...", warned Cas who was growing afraid for his friend. He didn't want his friend to anger the powerful archangel and get himself killed. 

Lucifer just laughed. 

"Well it wouldn't be the first time I've lied. I remember all those years ago, when I first visited Sammy...I promised him I'd never lie to him. I also promised I'd never hurt him and we all know how that one turned out", smirked Lucifer. 

"I'm going to find a way to end you", stated Dean. He forced back tears. He wasn't going to show any weakness in front of this monster. But he'd somehow managed to lose his baby brother and mom. Again. 

"I admire you determination Dean, I really do but how exactly are you going to do that? How are you going to kill me without hurting your mommy?", taunted Lucifer. 

"I'll find a way. You took my brother and manipulated my mom. I'm going to take you down or die trying", Seethed Dean.

"We'll as much as I'll look forward to that, I think I might consider bringing your brother back", mused Lucifer. Dean's hoped picked up but he swallowed it, he didn't trust Lucifer.

"What fun would it be to walk around wearing Mary Winchester, if both of her kids weren't around to see it? You should have seen Sam's face when he realized Cas over there had let me in. The fear. The disbelief. And the complete betrayal of trust as he watched his friends hand torture his soul. You could practically hear his fragile little heart breaking. Now imagine how he'd feel seeing his worst nighmare parading around in his mother's body. That would be priceless. Plus, in case Mary isn't as strong as I thought and explodes, I'm going to need to keep Sam around. I'm sure I'd be able to talk him around into saying 'yes' eventually", spoke Mary, no, Lucifer as he paced back and forth whilst considering his options. 

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Sam took my kid from me so I'm going to take his mommy away from him and he needs to be alive to see it", decided Lucifer.

"Actually Sam didn't take your child, I did. I'm protecting her from you, brother", interjected a voice from behind Dean. 

Gabriel. 

The shock on Lucifer's face was clear. 

"Gabriel? I killed you?", questioned Lucifer in disbelief. 

"You did, thanks for that by the way Luci but the perks of our dad being the creator of everything is that you can always be brought back", smiled Gabriel but there was a pain behind his soulful eye's. Pain that came from a broken family. 

"Are you hear to fight me, brother?", asked Lucifer. 

"No, not today. I'm here to take back the pepole you've hurt. But one day we will. We will fight again. I wish it didn't have to be this way, Luci", said Gabriel. 

"But I am who I am and you are who you are, so it has to be that way", sighed Lucifer sadly. 

"For now, I'm taking Sam, Dean and Cas home. And Mary. Leave her body, Lucifer", warned Gabriel sternly. 

"Nah, I'm comfy, little brother", and with that Lucifer disappeared. Gabriel sighed before turning back to the matter at hand.

Gabriel brought Sam, Cas and Dean back to the bunker with a simple touch. Sam still remained lifeless on the floor. 

"Gabrief? Sam, he's d..de", started Dean but his words refused to form properly as he fought back choked sobs. 

Gabriel held up a hand, gently stopping Dean in his tracks. 

"It's okay Dean, I can help him", confirmed Gabriel. 

Gabriel knelt next Sam. The youngest Winchester had always been somewhat of a mystery to Gabriel. Both of the Winchester's were. Maybe that's why he was a little bit fascinated by these particular human's. He'd had a bit of a soft spot for Sam. Perhaps because he identified with him. 

Sam was destined to be Lucifer's vessel and Dean Michael's. So there seemed to be some natural comparisons between the two relationships. Some angel's have probably considered Sam no better than Lucifer. Tainted by impure blood. But Gabriel knew different. Despite being his true vessel, Sam Winchester was nothing like his own big brother. Sam may have been the rebellious son but he was nothing like Lucifer. Sam was a person who'd tried to be good his whole life. Tried to do the right thing and help people. But fate had been set against him. He'd been in constant conflict with his family through the years. There was a time when they'd failed to understand him. Although Gabriel sensed that things were a lot better between the brother's than the last time he saw them. There were many who'd see Sam as a monster for the mistakes he'd made. No matter his mistakes, Sam was still a good person. One of the best human's he'd come across.

Gabriel identified with that. He knew what it was to have conflict with an older brother you adored. He knew what it was like to try to do what was right but make mistakes anyway. He knew what it was like to be considered a monster, particularly in his days as Loki. Gabriel was fond of Sam. Admired how he was constantly trying to better himself. Although he'd probably never tell Sam that. Instead he'd aim sarcastic retorts at him and make jokes about his height.

But he did have a soft spot for both of the Winchester brother's and his younger sibling who'd they'd adopted into their family. He could see how the two human's had shown Castiel the true value of their father's creations. Enough to convince him to go a against order's. To fall. 

Gabriel wanted to do things differently this time around. He'd made the right decision in the end, the last time he was on earth, but it was too little too late. Lucifer had killed him before he'd manage to really redeem himself. He genuinely did want to help the niece he adored and the Winchester's. It was his way of starting to make up for things. 

So, he kneeled beside's Sam. A strange sorrow filling him when he thought about the fact that his brother did this to Sam. He gently placed a hand on Sam's head, healing the damage Lucifer had done to the human's brain and melting any other injuries away with it. The crusty blood that had dried around Sam's mouth, eye's, nose and ears disappeared too. Slowly a little colour returned to his skin. 

Sam sucked in a huge breathe, gasping as his body adjusted to the shock of being alive again. Sam seemed to go into panic mode. The last thing he knew, Lucifer was killing him. He scampered to get to his feet and away from any threat but Dean stepped in. 

"Hey there! Calm down, it's okay Sammy. Lucifer killed you but Gabriel brought you back...we're back home now, you're okay Sammy", soothed Dean as he gripped his brother tightly. 

Sam flinched at the mention of Lucifer but visibly calmed at Dean's words and leaned in towards his brother's protective hold. Sam looked at the other's in the room. 

"Thanks, you know, for bringing me back from the dead", grinned Sam at Gabriel who smiled and nodded in reply. Sam's eye's seemed to scan the others for injury. 

"Where's mom?", Sam asked Dean in confusion.  Dean's face grimaced.

"No? No, no, no! She's not...he hasn't...killed her?", panicked Sam. 

"No, Sammy no, she's alive", promised Dean, "But Lucifer, he manipulated her into agreeing to be his vessel. When he was killing you, he told her he'd bring you back if she said yes and she did".

Sam sat in a shocked silence. The thought of their mom being possessed by Lucifer made his skin crawl. 

"I'm sorry", muttered Sam to Dean. 

Dean store at his little brother in confusion. 

"For mom, I let Lucifer get the upper hand over me and he used me to get her to say yes", expanded Sam. 

"Hey, enough of that! You're not to blame for this, none of us are. The only person to blame is that bastard!", spat Dean. Sam nodded at his big brother. 

"We'll get your mom back", interrupted Gabriel casually. 

"What makes you sound so sure?", queried Cas. 

"Trust me, getting Lucifer to exit a vessel will be the easiest of our problems, to handle. Mary will be fine", reiterated Gabriel. The archangels confidence was a comfort to the Winchester boy's. 

"So where did you leave Lily?" Wondered Sam.

"You mean where did I leave Lily when I came to rescue you damsels in distress? She's here in the bunker. I wasn't going to risk bringing her with me and I wasn't planning on being too long, plus this place is warded so it seemed liked the best of a bunch of bad options", told Gabriel, "She's in her room and she's actually how I knew you guys were in trouble".

"How so?", asked Dean.

"She started freaking our saying she could see the man from the dreams killing Sam and saying we needed to help so I helped", shrugged Gabriel. 

"How is it that she knew that?", questioned Cas. 

"We'll duh? Lucifer's daughter, anyone remember that minor detail?", exasperated Gabriel rolling his eye's. 

"Speaking of Lily, you should probably go into her. Let her know you're okay", suggested Gabriel. 

Dean grabbed Sam's hand, heaving him onto his feet.

Sam hesitated before leaving.

"It's okay Sammy, go let Lily know that you're okay. We'll get mom back", promised Dean and with that, Sam went to find Lily. 

* * *

Lucifer sat in a run down bar, drinking whiskey. He really detested human's but they had some qualities that he had become accustomed too. Such as their flare for creating alcoholic drinks.

The new vessel felt like unknown territory. It felt strange and foreign like most new vessel's did. Except for Sam Winchester. As soon as Sam had said 'yes' all those years ago, he'd felt right at home. It felt like two halves coming together. Of course Sam didn't see it that way. Naturally, Sam fought tooth and nail every second of it and Mary was no different. Lucifer could feel the desperate fights to shake him off but she was getting no where, obviously. 

Lucifer was pissed. Everyone always painted him out to be the bad guy, so if it's a villain they want, he'll play. The truth is, Lucifer has always been looking for love. From his father originally, but he'd always loved the humans more. Everything he'd done since had been for the same goal. He'd wanted worshippers, followers and soldiers who would adore him. Give him the love dad never did. He'd wanted Sam Winchester to accept him too, a long time ago. He only ever really wanted love. At least that's the version of the story he went with. 

It was true to some degree but he was also fuelled by an underlying need for power and deep seeded hatred. The mark had made things worse but it had always been there, buried deep inside. It went round in a vicious circle. The more rejected Lucifer felt, the more hatred he'd feel and power hungry he'd get. But even if he received love and adoration, it wouldn't be enough. He'd still need to feel stronger and powerful, above all else. 

Lucifer was convinced his child would fix him. Satisfy him in a way he'd never felt. He could train her to be all powerful and strong. They could be a team. They would have each other and they'd need no one else. But the Winchester's and his mischievous younger brother had gotten in his way once again. 

At first he'd wanted to kill Sam just for the entertainment. Out of pure principle. Sam was his vessel and he didn't want to kill him but Sam wasn't leaving him with many choices. He soon realized though, that hurting Sam may give him the edge he needed. The Winchester's had lost their mother once, the prospect of losing her again ought to be enough to prompt them into handing his child over. Or prompt Sam into saying 'yes'. He saw either option as a win. 

As Lucifer sat drinking whiskey, Mary Winchester continued to battle internally. It was really starting to grind on the archangel. He decided Mary needed a distraction. Lucifer had some memories he thought Mary may be interested in. So then started the constant loop of memories Lucifer played into Mary's head. Memories of any time he'd hurt people she'd cared about. Like that day at the cemetery. He showed her images of him using Sam's hands to beat the crap out of Dean. Then came all of the wonderful times he'd spent with Sam in the cage. And the moments following Amara being released. Lucifer felt Mary's resolve weaken as she tried to cringe away from the gruesome onslaught of images involving her son's being hurt. They were plenty. Particularly of Sammy and he felt Mary's pain and smirked.

He was pleased with himself. He felt like he had a plan in place that gave him purpose. He felt like he was winning for once. The Winchester's wouldn't beat him this time.

* * *

Sam walked to the room that Lily had claimed. She instantly looked up.

"Sam! You're okay! I saw you, you were hurt!", rushed Lily.

Sam sat on a chair in the room. 

"It's okay, I'm fine. I was hurt but Gabriel fixed me", reassured Sam, "thank you, Lily. Gabriel told me that you sent him to help us".

"I'm just glad you're all okay", smiled the girl as she hugged Sam. Lily's smile changed into a frown.

"What happened? You're sad", questioned Lily. 

"I'm okay, it's just...Lucifer, the man who you saw in your vision...he has me and Deam's mom", explained Sam. 

"I'm sorry Sam, I wish I could help", replied the little girl sadly. 

Sam shook his head, "don't worry, we'll get her back". Sam tried to believe his own words. They'd manage to get Cas back, they'd get Mary too.

* * *

  _2 days later..._

"Maybe we should get in touch with the British Men of Letter's? They had that device that drew Lucifer out of the president", suggested Sam. 

"We will if we have too but I still don't trust those guys, I definitely don't want to owe them anything", groaned Dean. 

At that point, Lily and Gabriel strided into the kitchen, returning from their morning lesson. Lily propped herself up on a chair. 

"Want some toast Lily?", questioned Dean who'd grown less cranky over Lily's presence as of late. 

"Toast? We can do a lot better than that", exclaimed Gabriel in his signature overly dramatic style. Gabriel snapped his fingers and a feast appeared in their kitchen. A whole host of fresh fruit, yoghurt and candy treats for afterwards. He'd also added a breakfast fry up for Dean who willingly dug in. 

Lily was mostly concerned with the Candy. 

"Candy for breakfast, seriously?", questioned Sam to Gabriel.

"What? It's a treat! A bit of candy never hurt anyone and besides, she's been working hard, she deserves it", stated Gabriel. 

"You're right", Sam conceded, smiling at Lily's happiness.

"Sam's just mad you didn't include any marshmallow nacho's for him", scoffed Dean with a mouthful of food. 

"Marshmallow nacho's?", Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

Sam shot a bitchface at Dean who reciprocated with a food filled grin. 

"Real nice", commented Sam whilst eating some of the fruit that Gabriel had provided. 

Lily seemed deep in thought whilst she grabbed a handful of sweets. 

"You okay kiddo?", asked Sam. 

At that point Cas walked in after going, god knows, where. 

"Hey Cassie! Foods up", announced Gabriel. 

"I don't eat", stated Cas calmly. 

Sam turned back to Lily who was biting her lip. 

"I had a dream last night" told Lily, mostly to Sam but the rest of the groups ears perked up. 

"What kind of dream?", asked Sam softly. 

"He was in it again. I usually just block him straight away but I didn't 'cause I noticed that he didn't look like he usually did. He looked like Mary", admitted Lily shyly. 

"Are you okay sweetie?", questioned Gabriel tentatively. 

"Yes...he said that he would let Mary go if..if I went to him. If you guys handed me over", said Lily who was visibly afraid.  

"We'll that's not happening", shot down Gabriel. 

"Did he say anything else, Lily?" Asked Cas. 

"He said...he told me to pass a message to Sam. He said to tell you that you could stop this. That if you said 'yes', he'd leave the rest of your family alone.  He also said that he wanted to take care of me and that he'd never hurt me", whispered Lily. 

Gabriel wrapped an arm around her shoulder, comforting his niece. Sam simply sat there, eye's downcast.  

"Don't even think about it Sam", warned Dean who could read Sam clearly. 

"He's got mom, Dean. I know what it's like to be possessed and trust me, it's not a lot of fun...especially being possessed by Lucifer", sighed Sam quietly to avoid drawing Lily's attention. Dean felt a twinge of guilt as Sam spoke about being possessed, a fate Dean had forced upon Sam before now.

"Yeah, and we'll get her back but not by sending you to be his new meat suit", argued Dean. 

"It's my fault that he's out. Again. I went down there, stupidly thinking I was following God's word...mom's in this mess because of my naivety and I can get her out of it", opposed Sam. 

"Sam, Lucifer being free from the cage is my responsibility and it was necessary at the time. It isn't on you", interjected Cas. 

"No matter who's fault it is, I'm the one who he wants so I have to fix it. What else do with have? We can't let Lily anywhere near him", questioned Sam. 

"Look, we'll go crawling to the British Men of Letter's again before you're becoming Lucifer's new party dress", said Dean. 

"Perhaps we could be of some assistance", announced a new voice in the bunker. 

Crowley and Rowena stood in the doorway. 

"What are you doing here?", moaned Cas. 

"Words hurt cas", smirked Crowley, "beside's, she and I are here to help".

"Why would you help?", asked Sam. 

"We want the devil put in time out as much as you lot do...haven't we been through this already? I feel like I'm repeating myself", said Crowley with an eye roll.  

"Is this little lamb who I think it is?", chimed Rowena, walking to Lily. 

"I'm Lily", smiled the little girl. 

"We'll aren't you just precious! And powerful, I can feel it. Just call me auntie Rowena, sweetheart", smiled Rowena. 

Gabriel stood in between Rowena and Lily, sending a warning glance to Rowena. 

"So, how do you plan on helping us? You didn't do your job properly last time", questioned Sam. 

"We'll if you're such an expert in witch craft, why don't you send the devil back to his cage, giant?!", exclaimed Rowena in annoyance. 

"Okay, put the claws away ladies. We're not talking about sending him back just yet. We're talking about drawing him out of your mother", stated Crowley. 

"Hold on a minute, what happened to you when we were supposed to meet at the warehouse? Are we supposed to believe it was just a coincidence that Lucifer turned up instead? How'd we know you're not working for him?", accused Sam.

"Do you really think I'd side with that glorified cherub after what he did to me? I run hell, not him and whilst he's around, demon's tend to disobey me. I turned up but when I found out Lucifer had caught up with you, I got the hell out of there", admitted Crowley. 

"Okay, say you do help us, what exactly do you plan to do?", asked Dean. 

"Mother dearest has found a spell that can cast an angel out of it's vessel. Lucifer may have fallen but he's still an angel. Should work", shrugged Lucifer. 

"And what? You're just going to help our mom out of the goodness of your heart?", asked Dean. 

"No. Mary is strong and a strong vessel makes him harder to beat. We expel him from Mary and he'll after find someone else to posses and if we're lucky it'll be someone who's a little more prone to spontaneous explosion", smiled Crowley. 

* * *

So the plan was set. They would get away from the bunker and open themselves up to Lucifer. Then Rowena and Crowley would deal with the spell whilst the rest of them tried to distract Lucifer's attention and try not to get killed. 

"Sam, you need to stay here", told Dean. 

"What no way! I'm helping get mom back", argued Sam. 

"We're going to need someone to keep Lily safe...it would usually be Gabriel but we need his angel muscle in case things go sideways with Lucifer. Lily trusts you more than the rest of us and plus, I don't want you anywhere near that bastard! He killed you last time Sam. You were literally dead in my arms, if it hadn't been for Gabriel...", Dean trailed off emotionally. 

Sam's annoyance faded. 

"Don't worry Sam, I'll make sure no one gets hurt", assured Gabriel, "you just look after Lily".

Sam didn't like it one bit but seeing his brother's fear and the logic behind it, he couldn't argue. He'd probably just cause more problems by going with them. Lucifer had it out for him and he didn't want Dean doing anything stupid to save him, so he nodded reluctantly. 

Sam watched the rest of his family leave and hoped they'd return safe and with Mary. 

* * *

 

 


	7. Thorn Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Sam wait in the bunker well the rest of the group plan to draw out Lucifer and use a spell to expell him from Mary but Lucifer has other plans.

_Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned_   
_Find me guilty of the life I feel within_   
  
_When I’m branded, this mark of shame_   
_Should I look down, disgraced, or straight ahead and know that you must blame?_   
  
_I am the secret_   
_I am the sin_   
_I am the guilty_   
_And I am, I am the thorn within_

_\- Thorn Within, Metallica_

* * *

 

Sam sat in the bunker whilst Lily read. She was reading a book from the Men of Letter's bunker which weren't exactly written in mind of children. It dawned on Sam, that in the short time Lily had been alive, she hadn't been able to be a kid. She'd been stuck in the bunker, having angel lessons from Gabriel, sleeping, reading lore books and hanging onto every word that any of them said. It wasn't fair. Sam knew it was too risky to take her out of the bunker so he settled on raiding the bunker for anything that might make Lily's stay a little less boring. 

Leaving Lily to read, Sam managed to muster up some paper and pens, board games that looked ancient but would do the trick, a tennis ball and a deck of cards. Sam also noted that there'd be a ton of stuff on Netflix that a kid would probably enjoy. 

Sam made a mental note to pick up some kid stuff on the next run. Toys or whatever it was that kids like these day's. Sam didn't have much experience when it came to that stuff. Sam and Dean had never been normal kids. They didn't get toys, or day outs or trips to the arcade but he'd figure it out. It wasn't Lily's fault that she was Lucifer’s daughter. She deserved to have a childhood. 

For now though, it would have to do. Sam realized that Lily seemed to enjoy reading but only had lore books to get stuck in. Sam's went to his room and took a look at his own collection, the one's that weren't hunting related. Sam wasn't sure how to decide what was age appropriate. She looked about 12 but technically, she wasn't even 1, so Sam tried to look for a book that wouldn't traumatize her too much but wouldn't patronize her either. She was a smart kid after all. In the end,  Sam picked up Moby Dick, Lord Of The Flies, The Wizard of Oz and his secret collection of Harry Potter books he hid from Dean.

He took the things into the room Lily was using and then set up netflix on her TV. He then made his way back to Lily who still had her head stuck in a book.

"Hey, I've left some stuff in your room. It's just some books that I thought you'd might like better than the one's here and some stuff in case your bored. There's stuff you can watch on TV too, something different than the boring satellite channels", Sam offered. 

Lily looked up at Sam, eye's wide with happiness, "Books? What books?".

"You like reading, huh? Well I left them in your room", smiled Sam.

Lily skipped to her room, passing by the other stuff and looking straight to the books.

"Harry Potter?", asked Lily.

"Yeah, it's about a kid...he can do magic too", told Sam.

"I wanna read this!", smiled Lily.

"Go ahead", grinned Sam.

"Could you...could I read it to you? I like reading out loud and I...I kind of don't wanna be alone. The man...Lucifer, he scare's me. I'm scared" admitted Lily shyly.

"Yeah, course. It's okay to be scared. I'll just here while you read the book, I love that story anyways", smiled Sam as he sat on the chair by the desk in the room. 

Lily jumped on he bed and began reading the book and it was nice to see her excitement at the book. A moment where she seemed like a regular kid. He was glad she could get even a little bit of that even if it was just reading the philosopher's stone.

* * *

 Dean once again found himself in the warehouse where Lucifer had killed his brother and possessed his mom. Crowley and Rowena were preparing the spell which left Dean to stand around with Cas and Gabriel. He was getting antsy. He wanted to get this over with. Wanted get his mom back and then head back to the bunker to check on Sam and Lily. 

"Okay, we're all set up. Both the spell to summon Lucifer and to expel him for your mother's body. I know, I'm magnificent", stated Rowena arrogantly. 

"Okay, let's get on with it then" ordered Dean, repressing the urge to roll his eye's. They made sure the ring of holy oil was good so they could trap Lucifer longer enough to get him out of Mary. Then Rowena did he stuff, spoke some incomprehensible words, dropped some ingredients into a bowl and small explosion erupted from the bowl. 

Rowena had a smug grin on her face that faded as they stood waiting for Lucifer to appear. He didn't though.

"What the hell?", questioned Dean. 

"It should of worked", frowned Rowena. 

"In case any of you are forgetting, this is Lucifer we're dealing with. There was never a guarantee this would work. 

"Isn't there some angel line you could use to get him here? Angel radio or something?", asked Dean to the angel's.  

"Dean, I don't think Luci is going to show up just because I asked nicely", jibed Gabriel. 

"Just try", ordered Dean. 

Gabriel looked pissed at Dean for his tone and like he was ready to rip Dean a new one but his face became distracted and his brow furrowed in concentration. A look of dread passed over his face. 

"What is it?", questioned Dean.

"Lucifer. He's at the bunker". 

* * *

 

Lily had dozed off whilst reading so Sam took the opportunity to go to kitchen and get something to eat. He was hungry which he guessed was a good sign. It might have been several weeks since they'd left the prison but Sam still continued to avoid food, only eating through necessity. He just never felt hungry but in the past week or so, his appetite had returned. 

Grabbing a plate from the cupboard, Sam felt a presence in the room. That was never a good sign. Sam placed the hand that wasn't holding the plate on his gun as he turned to inspect the room. 

When he saw who was there, the plate he was clutching crashed to the ground and shattered into jagged pieces. 

He'd turned to see his mom staring back at him. Well not really his mom but he body at least. Everything else was definitely not Mary. The sinister grin. The body language. The facial expressions. No, they were all distinctively Lucifer. 

"Hey Sam, miss me?"

"What...how?" Stuttered Sam, thrown back by seeing Lucifer wearing Mary as a vessel. 

"Cat got ya tongue?"

"You're not taking her", stated Sam. He would do whatever it took to stop Lucifer taking Lily. 

"C'mon now Sam, it doesn't have to be like this", cried Lucifer.

"Last time I saw you, you killed me and possessed my Mom", Sam deadpanned.

"Okay, I admit that I might have been a little hasty but you hurt my feelings Sam. I mean, I would have given you everything. All those years ago, in that cemetery, you dragged me back to hell", pointed Lucifer.

"So what? You spend hundreds of years torturing me?" Sam had no idea where his snark was coming from. He was terrified of Lucifer but yet he was goading him. Sam wondered if Dean had rubbed of on him a little.

"Exactly, so I think we're just about even. And killing you recently, I just went a little too far but all that's in the past now Sam. I know every instinct you have tells you to resist me but what are you really resisting? Say 'yes' and all of the pain, all of the crap you go through day in and day out will be over. We belong as one, Sam. MFEO, remember? Why do you think you and my daughter bonded so easily? It wasn't because you have outstanding babysitting skills, Sam. It's because she's part of me. You're part of me too. If you let me in, I can take Lily and the three of us can be a family. One that understand you better than your own ever has. Don't you want that, Sam? You know how much of a strain you are on Dean, don't you? All that he does is worry about you and I know in the past he hasn't done so well when you've died but things are different now. He has Mary, at least he would have if you weren't so stubborn. If you let me in, Mary would be free and she and Dean could be happy. I'm in her body Sam, I see what she thinks and feels and she doesn't even know who you are Sam. Dean, that's hard enough for her but at least he was four when she died. She at least got to know him a little but you were just a baby. She doesn't even recognize you Sam. The reason why she's having such a hard time is because she doesn't love you and she feels guilty about it. But I do know you Sam. You know I'm right" stated Lucifer.  

"No", muttered Sam with all the strength he could muster. Truthfully though, Lucifer was getting in Sam's head. Not about giving into him, he'd never willingly join Lucifer, never help him with his plans unless the world or Dean depended on it. He was getting into his head about his family though. About the way his mom felt and Dean. The one thing Lucifer was right about was that he did know Sam. He knew his insecurities and the right buttons to press but he wasn't about to let Lucifer know that.

"I'm not giving into you", stated Sam.

"Are you really that selfish Sam? What about your mommy over here? She hates it you, fighting it every second but she's too weak. You could get her out of this but you too weak", spat Lucifer.

"No, I'd do it if I had too. You see, my mom may not know me but I think I know her enough to know she wouldn't want me to say 'yes'. You'd just use me to hurt a lot of people and she wouldn't want that. But I am going to get our mom back and after we do, we're going to kill you", told Sam.

"Oh really, do you really believe that Sam? You're not the same person you were 7 years ago, we've already had that conversation. You can't beat me again. Deep down, you don't believe in yourself to do it either", smirked Lucifer.

"You're right, I don't think I can do it again", admitted Sam, "I don't believe in myself but I do believe in Dean. And I believe in Cas and my mom. I have faith in my family so I know that we're going to beat you. It might not be today or tomorrow or the next day but we are going to put you back where you belong", said Sam confidently. 

"That's cute", stated Lucifer were annoyed smirk on his face. Without a moments notice, Lucifer swiped a hand and sent Sam flying over the kitchen work top. Sam fought to get up as another surge of power sent him crashing into a wall, knocking the wind out of him. Sam was pinned to the wall when Lucifer wandered up and stood face to face with him. 

"You know, Sam? I thought you might see sense but I can tell that's not going to happen. You're no use to me now. Maybe I should just kill you. Permanently this time. Snap my fingers and disintegrate you into a million tiny little pieces. There wouldn't be enough left of you for my baby brother to fix. Or, now this is good idea, I good crush your soul into oblivion. Extremely painful and there'd be no way that annoying big brother of yours could deal you out of it", sneered Lucifer.

"Screw you", snarled Sam. If he was going down, he'd go down resisting the archangel to his very last breath. And right on cue, Lucifer plunger a hand through Sam's abdomen and grasped his soul. His damaged, broken but ever shining soul. It was a pain like no other. Indescribably and unmatchable. He was going to die this way, in such agony. He looked at the face that was killing him. His mother's face. Sam would have thought that watching his mother's body destroy his soul would have been painful but if he could see him mom in his last moments, well he could live with that. Ha. Except he wouldn't live that because he was about to die, for real this time. But at least he wasn't alone. Mary was with him, at least physically. He wished he could see his brother but he was thankful for what he had. He felt something happening within. Almost like his soul's last fight for survival. But it was fading. He was fading.

He wasn't scared. Sam smiled at his mom's face, ignoring the Lucifer's hateful expression that was on it. 

"I love you mom", whimpered Sam. His eye's began to involuntarily close. The pain in his body spread throughout him and he felt like he was being ripped apart. His consciousness leaving him rapidly but just as the lights were about to go out, Lucifer let out a gasp. His facial expression changed and the hand in Sam's abdomen retracted. Sam slumped to the floor, no energy left to keep himself upright. Lucifer's expression was different. Almost like, Mary.

"Mom?", whispered Sam.

"Sammy, I'm so sorry. I can't hold him much longer", rushed Mary desperately. Mary's posture shifted once again, a sly smirk spreading over his face.

"Well, I'll give her credit, she managed to take back control for all of a 30 seconds. Not long enough though, I'm still going to kill you", smiled Lucifer as he took a step towards Sam.

"Get away from him", ordered a small voice from behind Lucifer. Sam couldn't see her but he knew it was Lily and Sam wanted her to run away and get away from her father but he was barely able to talk, body still overcome with fatigue. 

"Lily? Hi sweetheart. I don't know what they've been telling you about me but I'm not a bad man. I just want to know my daughter. I'm your dad and I want you to be happy but they're keeping you from me", told Lucifer. The soft voice and gesture's were so unfamiliar coming from Lucifer that Sam thought maybe Mary was back for a moment. 

"They're not keeping me from you. I don't want to come with you. I know...I know you killed my mom", whispered Lily sadly.

"I didn't want to do that but she was stopping me from seeing and lying to you".

Lily eye'd Lucifer warily and than glanced at Sam who was hunched on the floor. 

"I said get away from him!" ordered Lily with a flash of anger that Sam had never seen before. Her eye's glowed and Lucifer quickly shot to the other side of the room. Sam could tell that Lucifer was as shocked as him but his shock soon turned to glee.

"Yes, that's it sweetheart. Good girl, you're strong but I could learn you to be so much stronger" smiled Lucifer. The anger in Lily seemed to grow as she slowly walked towards Lucifer. Her fists clenched and Lucifer began to writhe in what appeared to be pain. Patches of light began to glow from his body but rashes began to slowly erupt on Mary's skin too. Like the patches on Nick's skin when he couldn't hold Lucifer properly. It looked like Lily was trying, at least subconsciously, to kill Lucifer but she was killing Mary in the process.

"Lily? Lily! Lily, stop!", cried Sam. If Lily heard, she didn't show any signs of it. Her eye's continued to grow and Lucifer and Mary deteriorated further.

"Lily, stop! It's killing her", shouted Sam. 

Lily's hands un-clenched and her eye's returned to her green color. Mary/Lucifer slumped to the ground and Lucifer let out deep gasp's. Lily store at her hands in bewilderment. As though she wasn't quite she what she'd done. She turned to Sam. She looked afraid, like she didn't know if Sam would be angry with her. 

"I..was just trying...to help", stated Lily quietly.

"I know, it's okay. I just...killing him would have hurt my mom too", explained Sam as he started to lift himself of the floor.

A random thought came to Sam. He thought about the first time they'd faced Lucifer and they'd met the boy who was a Cambion. He was the antichrist and very powerful. He'd ordered the demon to leave his mother's body and it had done just on his word. Lily wasn't born of a human and demon but Sam thought that being the daughter of Lucifer himself had to make Lily stronger. It was worth a try. 

Sam heaved himself up of the floor, an arm wrapped protectively around his abdomen. There was no physical mark from his soul being tortured, again, but Sam could feel it. The pain wasn't an eruption of fire in his veins anymore. It was more like an aftershock that followed an earthquake. It left him shaky and tired but he pushed through. He walked to Lily, albeit slowly. 

Lucifer/Mary were hunched on the floor. Still recovering from whatever Lily had done. 

"Hey Lily, do you mind trying something for me?", asked Sam. 

"Sure", smiled Lily. 

"Could you try drawing Lucifer out of Mary? I know it's a lot to ask and it might not work", asked Sam. 

"I would but I don't know how", said Lily. 

"I think maybe it's more instinct...like what you did just. I met someone once who had powers like you and they ordered a demon to leave the human it was possessing and they did. He didn't know how, he just did it...maybe you could too. No pressure but it's worth a try", Sam explained softly. Sam didn't want to bring Lily into this but she had been the minute she walked into the kitchen. He was going to keep her out it in the future but for now, she was already here.

"Okay, I can try?" Offered Lily. Sam smiled and she turned to Lucifer. She clenched her fist once again and her face pinched in concentration. Nothing happened and she let out a frustrated sigh. 

"It's okay, we'll find another way", said Sam as he painted on his best reassuring smile.

"No. He killed my mommy. I'm not going to let him take anyone else's", stated Lily. 

That look of anger flashed across her young face once again. Her bright eye's looked colder than they ever had as they began to flash red. She clenched her fist and Lucifer's grace began to quiver in Mary but he was fighting it. It just seemed to make Lily angrier and the contents of the kitchen began to tremble like an actual earthquake. Sam briefly acknowledged that Lily's powers, or at least her hold on them, seemed to be stronger and fueled by anger. Sam didn't have time to worry about that before he noticed the light of Lucifer's grace grew brighter. There was a sudden flash when Lucifer's grave could be visibly seen leaving Mary's vessel. The flash took Sam's feet from under him but he glanced at Lily who stood on the spot, back to her usual self. The shaking had subsided too. Sam looked at Mary from his position on the floor. She was also slumped to ground but she looked like she was coming round.  He eye's opened, darting around the mess of the kitchen. Her eye's met Sam. They filled with something close to sadness and relief. 

"Sam", she smiled Sadly.

"Mom?".

* * *

 


	8. Devil's & Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Cas and Gabriel return to the bunker in the aftermath of the showdown with Lucifer. They're trying to get their head around things when a familiar face show sup.

_In a field of mud and bone_  
Your blood began to dry  
And the smell began to rise  
  
We've got God on our side  
We're just trying to survive  
What if what you do to survive  
Kills the things you love  
Fear's a powerful thing, baby  
It'll turn your heart black you can trust  
It'll take your God filled soul  
Fill it with devils and dust

_-Devil's & Dust, Bruce Springsteen_

* * *

 

_Dean's POV_

Dean's heart was beating faster than it was supposed. He was sure that soon enough, it'd burst right out of his chest. Lucifer was at the bunker. He wasn't supposed to be able to get in. The warding was supposed to be enough. What were they thinking? It was friggin' Lucifer, of course he'd get in. His baby brother was in the bunker and so was Lucifer. A thousand images flashed through Dean's head. Each one depicting a new image of his brother's dead body. His made conjured up lot's of different ways that Lucifer killed him and a lot of different ways in which he would find Sam's body. Impaled, burnt, mangled or maybe there wouldn't be enough left of him to even make out it was Sam. A hundred different images but all as awful as the other's. 

Dean tried to tell him self that there was a possibility Sam was okay but who was he kidding? Sam in the bunker with Lucifer was never going to end any way other than bloody. Dean had faith in his brother but Sam was unprepared and had no back up. He was more or less certain that when he got to his brother, he'd be long gone. That's why his chest was ready to burst out of his chest and that was also the reason why Dean couldn't care less. His heart could do whatever it wanted if Sam was dead, it could stop all together. He really didn't give a damn. 

They'd just arrived on the stairs that led down into the bunker. They'd driven there in the impala and as much as Dean loved his baby, she wouldn't get him fast enough to his brother. So Gabriel had transported him back to the bunker. They'd left Rowena and Crowley to clean up their stuff whilst Dean, Gabriel and Cas got going and now here they were.

Dean sprinted down the stairs, gun in hand as he scanned the bunker only to find nothing. Dean searched the bedroom's and came up with nothing there either. Finally, Dean approached the kitchen with Cas and Gabriel hot on his heals. 

They all stared bewildered. Sam was sprawled on the floor, clutching his abdomen and looking pale but otherwise unharmed. He also had a bewildered expression on his face. Mary or Lucifer, was also slumped on the floor. Her or his expression was one of shame and uneasiness. It wasn't a very 'Lucifer like' expression. Then there was Lily. She stood at the center of the chaos. Hair blown back from out of her face, staring fixedly at her palms. The room was in disarray, the contents of the kitchen strewn across the floor, several broken plates created a carpet of broken shards. Dean's brain couldn't really wrap up the situation. Couldn't really come up with an explanation.

"Dean", smiled Mary warily. Unless Lucifer was a really good actor, which Dean wasn't ruling out, this seemed very much like Mary. Dean scanned his mother apprehensively.

"It's okay Dean, Lucifer is no longer using Mary as a vessel", confirmed Cas as if reading Dean's silent confusion.

Dean noticed Sam climbing to his feet. Or stumbling, very ungracefully and looking like he was ready to topple over.

"Hey, c'mon. I've got you", told Dean quietly as he provided his should for Sam to support himself with. He took it gratefully.

Mary rose to her feet a little more easily. She slowly wandered towards her boys, eye's filled with uncertainty. She was worried her boys would be disappointed in her. 

"Mom, it's really you" grinned Dean as he pulled Mary into the side of him that Sam wasn't occupying and hugged her firmly.

Mary sighed in relief that she hadn't ruined her relationship with her boys. She and Dean separated and Mary shot a doubtful smile at Sam. He stood up from Dean's supporting, gaining some balance before also hugging his mom. 

"Hey guy's I don't want to interrupt the hallmark moment here but what the heck happened", asked Gabriel. 

Lily was still stood in the same spot staring at her hands. Gabriel frowned.

"You okay kiddo?", asked Gabriel to Lily who gave him no answer.

"Okay, what's going on? How did Mary expel Lucifer?", questioned Gabriel desperate for answers.

"Lily", stated Sam.

* * *

Sam perched on his bed, per orders of Dean. Once Sam had rehashed the story of how Lily looked set to kill Lucifer but only after Lucifer had tried to kill Sam by destroying his soul, Dean had gone into full mother hen mode. Fussing over Sam despite his protests and then ordering him to rest. Sam rested his head against the wall. Emotionally drained. 

"Hey there Sammy! Mind if I pick ya brain for a sec?" asked Gabriel has he wondered into Sam's room and took a seat on the chair by his desk. Gabriel exhumed his usual sass and confidence but there was an apprehension there which he hadn't seen before.

"Looks like you're doing it whether I mind or not", pointed out Sam lightheartedly. 

"We need to talk about Lily", stated Gabriel seriously.

"How is she?", wondered Sam.

"Quiet. What the hell happened Sam?"

"It's what I told you, Lucifer was about to grind my soul into mince meat but Lily stepped in and stopped him. I don't know if she even purposely set out to do it, she didn't look like her usual self. She was angry and cold but also protective. She wanted to help me but it seemed for a second like that anger might take over. She seemed like she was killing Lucifer but killing Mary in the process too but when I tried to stop her, it was like she wasn't even hearing me. She did stop though. Then she tried to expel Lucifer from Mary but she couldn't do it...at first. Until she got angry and again, instinct took over. She has some serious anger in her, I mean who could blame the kid after what she's been through but there was just something different", explained Sam.

"What do you mean?"

"I care about Lily like she's family and I'm not saying she's bad because I don't think she is but she is...Lucifer's daughter and I think maybe she has some of that rage that Lucifer has in him. She's strong too and I don't really think she understood just watch she was doing which is worrying. She's growing and so is her power and I think we could run into some trouble if she acts on emotion and doesn't know how to reign it in", admitted Sam. Gabriel ran a hand through his vessel's hair in frustration. He'd worried that things with Lily might grow more complicated as she grew.

"What do we know about Nephilim's, like how long will she continue to grow and what do their power's entail", questioned Sam.

"Well, most Nephilim's weren't allowed to mature fully. They were seen has abominations and were destroyed. There were a couple that got away but Lily isn't any usual Nephilim, she's the daughter of an archangel, Lucifer at that. There is no one else like her so we don't have a lot to go on. But average Nephilim's, they have a essence that's a mixture of human soul and angel grace. Because of them being half human and half angel, their bodies grow like any human's does but because of the grace in them, they grow a lot faster than your average human. From what we saw, Nephilim will continue to grow by human standards until they develop their wings. There isn't an exact science to when that happens. There were only a few Nephilim who even got that far before we killed them but the one's that did seemed to develop them when they looked around, between 19-35 in human physical appearance but they were still very young. After they wings sprouted their bodies appeared to stop growing and they remained that way until they killed. If Lily is to develop the same way that a Nephilim usually does then she will continue to grow at a fast rate and her strength and power will grow too. She will reach an impasse once her wings come through and then she'll remain that way for the rest of her life", explained Gabriel.

"So she could get stronger?", questioned Sam.

"Most likely" admitted Gabriel.

"You know how to help her though, right? You can learn her to control her emotions, to not act out on them, to have control over her power?" rushed Sam.

"I can try but like I say, there's no one like Lily. The only thing I know for sure is that we need to keep her from Lucifer because at the stage she's at now, she's very impressionable and she needs to be shown the right way".

"God, nothing is ever simple", sighed Sam.

"Welcome to my life, you think your life's been dysfunctional? Try having chuck as a dad and Michael and Lucifer as siblings", joked Gabriel, "speaking of my emotionally unstable big brother, how are you Sam?"

"I've had worse", grunted Sam.

"That doesn't really comfort me Sam", laughed Gabriel, "you're soul, it's taken one heck of a besting over the years but it's holding it's own".

Sam squirmed under the watchful eye's of the archangel. 

Mary appeared in the door frame. 

"Hey, erm, Lily's taking now and she wants you Gabriel", stated Mary. 

"That's my cue", Gabriel nodded at Sam. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean swiped a glass and placed it on the table, pouring a generous glass of whiskey for himself. Cas sat across from him at the other side of the table as Dean necked the liquid back.

"Sam will be fine Dean. So will Mary", stated Cas. Cas had never been completely sufficient in understanding human emotion but after years with the Winchester's and time as a human himself, he'd become more a tuned to them. Cas had also picked up through the years that usually Dean swallowed down alcohol like that when he was worried about something. Usually Sam. 

"I know it's just...", Dean trailed.

"It's just what, Dean?", urged Cas. 

"It'd be nice to have just a couple of months where things aren't so messed up. When there isn't some world threatening big bad to take care of. When the biggest things we have to worry about are some pissed off spirits", sighed Dean, "It'd be nice to not have my family in the firing line for once, too".

Cas store at Dean, unable to summon any comforting words. 

"Is Lily going to be a problem", asked Dean quietly. 

"It's difficult to say. I sense no ill intentions from her but she is a very young child. A very powerful child. It is hard to say what the future will bring, how she will continue to develop", answered Cas honestly.

Dean sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

"No matter how she develops, I do not think she'll be a risk to us, Dean. From what Sam said, she seemed to be quite protective over him", interjected Cas.

Dean only nodded, not seeming at all comforted by that. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Gabriel left to talk to Lily, Mary remained standing nervously at his door.

"Hey", she smiled nervously, "is it okay if I come in?"

"Yeah mom, course", smiled Sam. 

Mary perched on the end of the bed. 

"Are you okay?" Asked Sam with concerned eye's. 

"I'm fine Sam, I think it should be me asking you that", smiled Mary. 

"I'm okay, I've..."

"Been through it before? Been through worse?", interrupted Mary regretfully. 

"I guess. I've also been possessed by Lucifer before, it's...not a pleasant experience. How are you holding up? " asked Sam.

 "I'm okay. It's strange. You're there and it's your body but somebody else is controlling it, doing things that you don't want to do. Hurting people you don't want to hurt", sighed Mary. 

"You stopped him though. You took back control", reassured Sam. 

"Not for long enough, if Lily hadn't have been there..."

"If you hadn't have stopped him when you did, he'd have killed me", urged Sam.

"When he was possessing me, I saw everything. What he said to you, it wasn't true Sam. I do love you", whispered Mary gently.

"I know", confirmed Sam, "When you took back control when Lucifer was killing me, well I don't think you'd have been able to do that if you didn't love me".

"You know Sam, I'm sorry for saying 'yes' to him. I just...wanted you to be okay but it must have been hard for you", Mary apologized.

"Hey, you don't have anything to apologize for!", told Sam, grasping his mother's hadn't,"I'm pretty sure no one would want to be possessed by the devil but you did it, to try and save me. I'm not angry at you for it, I'm just sorry that you got brought into all this crap because of me".

"It's not your fault. I brought you into this before you were even born Sam. With the deal...I let evil into your life. I saw...Lucifer showed me everything. The things that happened to you", stuttered Mary. Sam looked away, feeling ashamed that Mary had seen all of the crap that had gone down. 

Noticing her son's embarrassment, Mary cupped her youngest's face in her hands. 

"I am so sorry. Sorry about the life you and your brother have had to lead. Sorry for everything you've been through. But I am so proud of you", assured Mary as she brought Sam in for a hug. Sam sunk into his mom. Relishing the comfort of mother, that he'd never known as a child. He'd never felt so young. 

Mary sat back and wiped a stray tear, "Right shall we go join Cas and that brother of yours? Before he drinks all of the liquor in this place and leaves none left for us", laughed Mary through watery eye's.

"Yeah, let's go", smiled Sam.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Knock, knock", announced Gabriel at Lily's door. She looked up and offered a small smile. Gabriel sat down to face the young nephilim. 

"What's on your mind, kiddo?", questioned Gabriel. He was only rewarded a shoulder shrug. 

Gabriel sighed. 

"You do know that nobody's mad at you, don't you? You have done anything wrong", insisted Gabriel. 

"I was hurting Mary", whispered Lily. 

"You didn't mean to. You were just trying to help Sam and you did too, he'd have died if you hadn't helped him", smiled Gabriel. 

Lily bit her lip as if she was debating whether or not to say something. 

"I couldn't...I couldn't control it. Can't even really remember doing it. I just....I saw him and I got so mad and then all that stuff started happening", Stuttered Lily. 

"When you saw Lucifer?" Asked Gabriel. To which Lily simply nodded. 

"Lily, when human kids are born they don't really now what to do with their emotions and a lot of the time kids emotions can be all over the place. They don't know how to regulate their emotions yet but it they have a good family who help them whilst they're growing, things slot into place and it becomes a little easier to keep check on those feelings. I think that maybe you're just experiencing a completely natural thing. It's natural to be angry and it's normal that a kid wouldn't be able to keep that anger under control. What you're feeling is normal, it's just complicated by the power that you have. Because you're special. But luckily for you, you have a good family. Me and Sam, Cas, Dean and Mary will do what we can to help you keep check of that anger, okay?" Smiled Gabriel as he tried to explain the situation to the child.  

"Okay, I trust you", nodded Lily quietly. 

"Seeing him, your father, that must have been weird for you", remarked Gabriel. 

"Yeah, it was weird", confirmed Lily.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I just...I hated him. I hated him for killing my mom, for hurting Sam and I just wanted to do nothing but hate him but it was weird. I do hate him but meeting him, I kind of didn't hate him at the same time. As much as I wanted too", admitted Lily nervously.

"I get it, I do. Your Dad is my brother and he's done a lot of bad. He's done a lot that makes me hate who he became. But he's my brother too and I love him. It doesn't matter what he does, I'll never stop loving him. It doesn't mean that I agree with what he's done or that I can't try and stop him from hurting anyone else", admitted Gabriel. 

"I wish he was different", sighed Lily.

"He was once. He hasn't always been the way he is now", said Gabriel. 

"Do you think he'll ever change?"

"I don't know. I hope that he could but it could just be that, that's who he is", sighed Gabriel. 

"We'll at least I've got you, right?", smiled Lily. 

"Always, kiddo. I'll you to it", grinned Gabriel. 

"Hey Gabriel?", called Lily as Gabriel stood in the doorway. 

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not making sleep in a cupboard", smiled Lily.

"What?"

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gabriel glided through the bunker until he found all of the Winchester's and his younger sibling sitting around a table.

"Can I ask, why the heck did my niece just thank me not making her sleep in a cupboard?", implored Gabriel. Sam, who was taking a sip of whiskey, spluttered on the liquid and sent it spraying all over the table. 

Dean raised an eyebrow at his brother. 

"Got something you wanna say Sam", smirked Dean.

"Erm, nope, don't think so. All out of, words to speak", fumbled Sam.

"Am I missing something?" questioned Gabriel.

"I don't know, has he missed something Sam?", teased Dean. Sam blushed so Dean explained his amusement. 

"I think Sammy over here has given Lily his secret stash of Harry Potter books that he thinks I didn't know about", chuckled Dean.

"Harry Potter?" frowned Mary in confusion.

"I believe it's a book series for children involving a child who goes to a school for sorcerer's", offered Cas, drawing upon the pop culture knowledge that Metatron had provided him with.

Dean snorted at Cas's explanation.

"Hey, lot's of adults read those books, okay?" exclaimed Sam defensively. 

Dean continued to laugh at Sam, who despite feigning outrage, had a genuine grin pulling at his lips. Cas just looked confused. Gabriel had an arched eyebrow but a smile adorned his face too. Mary smiled warmly at her sons, enjoying the light hearted teasing. Since she'd been brought back, she hadn't often seen her boys looking like this. She wanted them to stay that way. 

However, Dean's teasing was cut short as a necklace that he wore around his neck, began to shine blindingly. Sam, Dean, Cas and Gabriel shared disbelieving looks. Mary figured out that she was missing something that the other's new. 

Mary felt a calming presence behind her and turned to see a rather unimpressive looking man before her. He didn't look powerful or strong but there was a force that radiated from him. 

"Chuck?"

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 


	9. Lightning Strikes Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck returns but can he help? Meanwhile Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary go on a simple hunt to take a break from the Lucifer problem but the hunt leads to revelations about their own problems. Things seem quiet but trouble is never far away from the Winchester's. 
> 
> Warning - This chapter touches upon theme's such as homophobia and child abuse but only in reference to information regarding a hunt. Nothing too graphic but if themes like that trigger you, please be careful! Take care of yourselves.
> 
> Always Keep Fighting!

_I feel the breeze on my face in expectance_

_Not very long before the storm reaches here_   
_Off in the distance the lightning is flashing again_   
_Feel something strong as the power draws near_   
  
_Is it the rolling thunder that scares you_   
_Is it the crashing of clouds that hold fear_   
_But all I know as I sit in a corner alone_   
_It takes me back to my childhood again_   
  
_And as I wait and look for an answer_   
_To all the things going round in my head_   
_I ask myself could it be a disaster and when_   
_It's maybe threatening to happen again_

_\- Lightning Strikes Twice, Iron Maiden_

* * *

 

"Chuck?", questioned Dean, "After the little heart to heart with your sister, I didn't really expect to see you around again".

"I was spending time reconnecting with my sister but things have developed. My grandchild being born is the reason I am here", explained Chuck.

"No offence Chuck, but your own children weren't enough to get you to make an appearance in the past, even when one of them was trying to end the world, so why come out of hiding for Lily", asked Dean.

"My relationship with Lucifer may be flawed but things don't have to be the same way with Lily. I want to do things differently with her. I would like to meet her. I could even offer her protection", suggested Chuck.

"I do not think Lucifer would harm Lily. He wants to be her father. I don't think her life is at risk, only her nature if Lucifer were to raise her", interjected Cas.

"I can offer further protection beside's physical safety. I could prevent Lucifer from being able to take Lily", offered Chuck.

"Well that would definitely be useful Dad", thanked Gabriel who had been quiet up until now. Gabriel was much less cocky then usual. Much more subdued and unsure of himself around his father.

"So, I would like to see my granddaughter now", stated Chuck. Gabriel nodded, leading the way as the rest of the group stood, still in shock.

"So, that was Chuck? As in 'God' Chuck? Creator of the universe, Chuck?" questioned Mary astounded.

"That's the one", mumbled Dean.

* * *

  _2 days later..._

Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary sat around a table in the bunker. They chugged down coffee whilst going through the Men of Letter's files. Dean snapped the book closed, jolting the other's from their reading.

"Look, I know we have Lucifer to sort out and there's pretty much a big pile of crap on our plates right now but I need to get out of here, man. I need to hunt or something", moaned Dean.

Chuck was still at the bunker, making himself right at home like he had last time. He was planning on staying for a few days to spend time with Lily and Gabriel before heading back to Amara. The rest of the residence in the bunker left them to it, focusing of figuring out a way to either kill Lucifer or finding a spell that would actually work in returning him to the cage but they had come up with nothing. Gabriel and Chuck had been pretty much useless. Gabriel was willing to get his hands dirty once they'd found something to beat Lucifer but researching clearly wasn't his thing. Dean found it hard to believe that Gabriel knew nothing about any weapons or spells that would work. He was an archangel after all and he was the one who'd told them about the horseman's rings but Dean hadn't bothered to argue. With Gabriel there was no use. As for Chuck, he refused to have any involvement in sending Lucifer back to the cage. He had mended bridges and although he had burned them by disappearing again, he had no interest in caging his son.

So that left all of the leg work to Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary. Dean had, had enough. He needed to kill something and if it wasn't some evil supernatural son of a bitch, Dean was afraid he'd end up swinging a knife in Gabriel's direction which he guessed wouldn't end well for him.

"You're right, maybe if we take a break, we can look at all this with fresh eye's", agreed Sam.

"So, family hunting trip again?", questioned Mary, her eye's lighting up.

"You got it", grinned Dean, "I think I've actually got something for us. I was looking on my phone and there's a news story, couple of miles from here, 4 people died. A family. They reported intruders 3 times before they died but police never found any kind of forced entry and nothing was stolen but one night, neighbors reported screaming. The police found the whole family dead but the coroner couldn't find a cause of death".

"Sounds like our sort of thing", nodded Sam.

The Winchester's got their stuff together and began heading to the door. Cas remained seated at the table.

"Aren't you coming Cas?", questioned Dean.

"I, er, wasn't sure that I was invited", frowned Cas awkwardly.

"Cas, you're family, course you're invited", shrugged Sam.

Cas smiled to himself as he joined the Winchester's.

* * *

The case they'd picked up wasn't too far away so they arrived there relatively quickly. They'd checked into a motel to settle down and figure out what was going on.

"So what are we thinking? Vengeful spirit?", wondered Mary.

"Not enough info to say", mumbled Dean as he fished out his fed suit.

"Maybe we should interview witnesses to gain more information", offered Cas with a subtle grin on his face. He looked proud of himself for his suggestion.

"Yeah, we should go to the house, interview the neighbors and check out the house", grunted Dean.

"We should check out the bodies too, the coroner said they couldn't identify a cause of death but they probably did, it just didn't make any sense to them", suggested Sam.

"Okay, so how about Cas and I check out the house and the neighbors you and mom can check the bodies", suggested Dean.

"Sounds like a plan", smiled Mary.

* * *

 Sam and Mary scanned the lifeless bodies that lay on the slabs in the morgue. Their skin was tinged with a blueish tone and their faces were slack but other than them being quite obviously dead, they looked unharmed.

"So, isn't there anything to indicate the cause of death? The report said you didn't find anything", questioned Mary.

"There was nothing, at least nothing that made any sense", sighed the coroner.

"What about the things that don't make sense?", asked Sam.

"It looks to me like they all drowned. I've been doing this job for years, I know what a drowning victims body looks like, seen enough of them but it doesn't make sense. The mother and father were found in their bedroom, no water in sight. Their daughter was in the living room watching TV and their son was in his room. No water near any of them and there's no sign of a struggle or their bodies being moved so it's unlikely their was any foul play involved. This one's got me stumped", explained the coroner.

Mary and Sam exchanged a knowing look.

"Well thank you for your time, here's my card if you come across anything else", thanked Sam.

Mary and Sam walked back to Mary's car.

"So, definitely seems like our kind of thing", said Mary as she slid into the driver's seat.

"Yeah, drowning without water doesn't exactly seem like a natural death", agreed Sam.

* * *

Dean and Cas studied every detail of the deceased family's house. There was no sulfur or any other demonic signs.

Cas strode up to Dean, "There was no EMF but I can detect some spirit activity in these premises".

Dean noticed a family picture, tucked away by the side of the sofa. The glass was cracked, it looked as though it had fallen of the fireplace, or been knocked off. Dean noticed 5 figures in the photo. A dull couple who looked in their late 40's stood at the back, presumably the parents. Then their was a teenage boy, he looked about 16 and a teenage girl who looked around the age 18. But there was another kid in the picture, one that hadn't been mentioned in the report. He looked around the age of 14 in the photo. He didn't particular stand out from the rest of them apart from the fact that he lacked the plastic smile that was plastered over his other family members faces.

All of them looked clean cut. Matching sweaters. Neat hair and fresh faced. They looked like they'd stepped out of a magazine.

Dean placed the photo down and took notice of the multiple bibles around the house. There was several framed bible verses and crucifixes too.

"It looks like they were bible thumpers", noted Dean aloud.

Cas frowned I'm confusion, "From the looks of their home, they appear to have been devout Christians, I don't think they'd vandalize the holy bible, Dean".

"I thought Metatron brought you into the 21st Century", gruffed Dean.

"I think Mr Danders may have been having an affair behind his wife's back", stated Cas whilst ignoring Dean's comment.

"What makes you say that?", asked Dean.

"I could smell a scent of a woman on his clothes. It was a different scent from his own wife", informed Cas.

"What are you a sniffer dog?", scoffed Dean.

Cas frowned at Dean once again before continuing, "I also found letters in the man's safe from an unknown woman".

"So, what? Witch? Pissed off mistress kills off the whole family?", wondered Dean.

"That's seems like a reasonable suggestion", nodded Cas.

"We should pay the neighbors a visit, see what they know", said Dean.

* * *

Dean and Cas sat on the sofa as a rounded lady brought them cups of tea. She was in her 50's with curly brown hair and soft features and soft edges. She bounced down on the sofa.

"How can I help you, agents?", chimed the lady who'd introduced herself as Maggie.

"Thank you mam, could you tell us what you know about your neighbors? The one's you reported to the police and then were found dead?", clarified Dean.

"Oh yes, terrible tragedy! Fancy the whole family turning up dead like that, just tragic! I spoke to them several times in the week before their death. They were convinced they had intruders. They kept hearing noises, things kept getting broken but when the police came there was no sign of forced entry and nothing was taken so there was nothing they could do", explained Maggie.

"When you say things kept getting broken, what kind of things?" questioned Dean.

"Oh you know, photo's, family heirlooms, religious ornaments...In fact the police seemed to think that it was some delinquent playing pranks on the poor family because they were religious", admitted Maggie.

"Was there anyone else in their family? The report mentioned 4 deaths but I see their was a third kid in one of their photo's?", asked Dean.

"You must be talking about Luke. He was their youngest child, just 14, he died a few months ago", sighed Maggie Sadly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, do you know what happened?", questioned Dean.

"Young Luke was a troubled young man. He thought he was...you know? A homosexual", admitted Maggie quietly.

"You mean he was gay?", glared Dean who was growing annoyed at the gossipy lady.

"Well that's what he thought but he was just confused. Of course his family tried to help him, they sent him to have counselling with their priest but I'm afraid it wasn't enough. Luke drowned himself in the bathtub", sighed Maggie.

"And his parents? Super religious types, I imagine they weren't exactly supportive", inferred Dean.

"Well they did what any good, upstanding Christian parents would do. They tried to help him off a path that would lead him to hell", frowned Maggie.

"So what you're saying is, they gave him a hard time", stated Dean.

"I found it strange how many religious human's condemn other's based on sexual orientation in the name of God. I admit the moments I have spent with my father have been fleeting but I am certain that he does not have any concerns about sexual orientation and that sexuality has no baring on whether or not someone's soul will end up in heaven or hell. Chuck or God as human's refer to him has even had relations with other male's himself, I believe. Although he technically isn't a man. He is light. He is Creation. He is everything so I'm not sure if that really counts", mumbled Cas flatly, speaking for the first time.

Maggie looked dumbfounded, "I don't know what you're implying but that loving family had nothing to do with their youngest's suicide and if you're going to insist on spouting those blasphemous words in my home then I suggested you leave", scolded Maggie.

"They're not blasphemous. They're simply the truth. It also seem's hypocritical to judge their child when Mr Dander's guilty of adultery", implored Cas.

"C'mon Cas, I think we have enough information", told Dean as he grinned at Cas's ability to rub this woman the wrong way without even trying.

Cas and Dean wandered back outside.

"Despite living among human's for several years now, they can still be somewhat of a mystery to me", pondered Cas.

"You and me both, man", laughed Dean. Dean's phone began to ring.

"Hey, find much? Well that ties in pretty nicely with what we found. I'd say we're definitely dealing with a vengeful spirit. Meet us back at the motel so we can regroup and then finish this hunt", instructed Dean to Sam over the phone.

* * *

 "Okay, so I don't think Luke killed himself", announced Sam.

Sam, Dean, Mary and Cas had met at the motel and gathered up any information they could on the case as to make sure they were dealing with a vengeful spirit and didn't get any nasty surprises.

"Huh?", frowned Dean.

"I think it was a cover up. You said that the neighbor said the parents sent the kid to their priest for counselling?", asked Sam.

"Yeah, hypocritical busy bodies had a problem with the kid being gay", nodded Dean.

"Well I think they did more than that. I've been looking through some records, police reports, school records, church records...that sort of thing and Luke didn't go to school for 2 months late last year, looking around it looks like his parents sent him to a conversion camp. Really nasty places, parents send their kids to try and 'stop them from being gay'. He seems as though they weren't happy with the results though. I think his family drowned Luke, rather than him killing himself", informed Sam.

"What, why do you think that?" wondered Cas.

"The police files from this were pretty sketchy at best. Looks like a cover up. I dug deeper and it turns out that Luke's dad's brother is the local sheriff. Still didn't explain what really happened though so I turned to the kids. Hacked into the dead daughter's facebook and she was messaging someone before the family died. When I traced back the facebook profile of the person she was talking to, it didn't exist. I think her brother was communicating with her. The messages were pretty threatening and went along the lines of 'you will feel what I felt' and I also caught the gist of what happened. I don't think the parents meant to kill Luke. But they were dicks and after finding texts from another boy, they decided to 'baptize him' or more like terrify the kid and they shoved him under the bath tub but they ended up accidentally killing him", sighed Sam sadly.

"What about Luke's siblings? What did they have to do with this?" asked Mary.

"I don't think they were involved in the actual drowning but they knew about it and did nothing. Plus they gave him a hard time when he was alive", said Sam.

"What a bunch of dicks, I gotta say, I'm on the ghosts side with this one", commented Dean.

"You and me both but you know how it goes, vengeful spirits may start of only avenging the people involved in their death but eventually they lose sight of that and end up turning vengeful on innocent people. We still have to salt and burn his body, the kid deserves to be put to rest too", inputted Sam.

"You're right", conceded Dean, "You know, I wanted a simple salt and burn but I wasn't bargaining on it being so depressing".

"Yeah 'cause hunting's always a barrel of laughs, Dean", remarked Sam.

* * *

They had found out where Luke was buried and drove to the cemetery. With the four of them, it hadn't taken long to dig up the grave. It was only when Dean began pouring salt on the body that Luke's spirit appeared, swiping Dean across the graveyard. Mary took shots with her salt rounds which seemed to really piss Luke off as he hurtled towards Mary, only to have Cas knock her out of the way. Cas was not so lucky though as he was sent flying into the trunk of an oak tree. Sam ran towards the grave hoping to burn the bones before Luke had the chance to hurt any of them.

Sam skidded to the grave side and Luke prepared to launch an attack at Sam but Mary was there taking shots that temporarily disarmed the ghost.

Sam flicked his lighter, preparing to set alight the body but a searing white hot pain exploded in his head. Sam let out an involuntary moan and his knee's dropped to the floor. Sam gripped at his head and hissed in pain. He vaguely heard the shouts of his family as they tackled the ghost.

* * *

_There was a scene playing out. It was distant and blurred at the edges but clear enough to see what was going on._

_There was Lily. She was screaming and fighting. She had a strange cuff on her wrist. Perhaps the etchings on the cuff were the reason why Lily's powers seemed to evade her._

_A figure tugged Lily out of the bunker. The figure was tall and well dressed. There was a smug smirk plastered across his otherwise cold face and an glint of evil in his eyes. Ketch. He recognized Ketch's face. Ketch proceeded to lift a struggling Lily into the back of an SUV._

_*Flash*_

_It was Lily again however this time she chained in a cell. She looked terrified and bewildered. Ketch was there too but this time an unfamiliar man in a white lab coat was with him. The stranger took several unknown contraptions out of a cupboard. He then stalked towards Lily with a needle in hand. He injected the substance into her as a wide eye'd Lily fell limp._

* * *

Sam began to notice his surroundings as the vision dulled from his head, leaving behind a trail of fire in his brain. He knew he had to focus on something but he couldn't quite comprehend what. He started to remember the hunt and ghost that was attacking his family. 

He tried to fight for composure as he took in the scene around him. His family were still fighting the angry and fearful ghost. Dean's eye's still managed to remain on Sam even when fighting a vengeful spirit. 

Sam climbed to his feet, ignoring the burning pain that still hadn't subsided from his vision. Sam began, intending to salt and burn the bones until he thought about past cases. When some spirits had been able to let go. Sam wanted to try. Luke wasn't a monster. He was just a scared and lonely kid. That fear had turned into anger, understandably. Sam wanted to help.

"Luke? I just want to talk", shouted Sam. A Flickering figure appeared before Sam. Luke.

"Okay, I want to help you Luke. It doesn't have to be this way", reasoned Sam. 

A look of uncertainty passed over the boys face before turning to anger as he knocked Sam to the ground. 

"Luke, listen to me. I know you're angry. You have every right to be. Your family hurt you and you didn't deserve that but your family are gone now. You can let go. No one else needs to get hurt. You've done what you came here to do", urged Sam. 

An invisible force wrapped around Sam's throat, as the air was squeezed out of him. He could see his family incapacitated in the background. 

"L..Luke...d..don'..do..thi..this", Stuttered Sam through gasping breaths. 

"I don't know how", stated Luke's ghost as fear clouded his pale form.

"J..just..let go..let go", reassured Sam as much as he could whilst being strangled.

Sam felt the invisible force around his neck loosen. The ghostly figure of Luke took a step back, his pale and water bound figure returning to it's human like state. Color returned to his face and the water that had once dribbled constantly from the ghosts mouth seemed to disappear too. 

The young ghost looked at Sam, "thank you".

Sam nodded as a light began to illuminate Luke's figure. He disappeared, not with fire and anguished screams that come from a salt and burn but with a peaceful glow that came with a spirit moving on. 

Luke was gone and the initial relief was fleeting. Now the fight was over, the aftermath of Sam's vision was more evident. His head buzzed with the beginning of a migraine. 

Sam looked over to his family. Cas was already on his feet, he'd watched as the boy had let go of his rage. Mary and Dean were still getting themselves together.

Sam didn't know what to make of the vision. Sam hadn't had a vision for years, not counting the one's Lucifer had sent him. Sam considered that the recent vision could be Lucifer's work too. A way of getting to Lily. But Sam worried about this vision being true. He worried about Lily. Sam had experienced first hand how ruthless the British Chapter could be and he didn't want Lily to experience that.

Dean and Mary climbed to their feet as the 4 of them walked towards each other. 

"What happened?", groaned Dean as he cradled his ribs.

"He moved on. Didn't need to salt and burn the bones because he let go of the anger", explained Sam shortly. 

"I'm not talking about Luke, I'm talking about you. What happened at his grave side? Are you okay?", asked Dean.

"I don't know...I think, it seemed like a vision", admitted Sam. 

* * *

Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary began the journey home. This time Cas rode with Mary and Sam rode shotgun with Dean in the impala. Sam had briefly explained what he'd seen in the vision and Dean and Sam definitely needed to talk.

"So, a vision? You haven't had any psychic crap in a long time, do you think it's Lucifer again?", questioned Dean. 

"Honestly? I don't know. It seemed different than the one's he sent me. The visions from Lucifer were vivid and so life like that I almost felt like I was there again. This vision wasn't like that, it was more like the visions I used to get, distant and a little blurry. Like I was watching a scene play out rather than being apart of it", explained Sam. 

"Lucifer could have switched up his game though, seems like he could be trying to make us think Lily is in trouble in order to draw us out", reasoned Dean.

"I know but it isn't too much of a stretch to think that British Men of Letter's could do this either", added Sam.

"Say this is a genuine vision, what are we going to do about it anyway? How are we supposed to protect Lily from both Lucifer and the British Men of Letter's?", asked Dean.

"We'll Chuck's put some sort of protection over Lily, right? Stopping him from taking her so even if this is Lucifer, it won't work anyway. But if it is real, Chuck's protection won't work against any one other than Lucifer".

"Chuck is God, Sam. I pretty sure he's capable of protecting Lily from human's".

"I know but we can't underestimate the British Men of Letter's either. They have a lot of resources we know nothing about. Even if Chuck did protect Lily, he's not sticking around forever and once he's gone, I'm sure the British Men of Letter's could find some way around his protection shields. If we we take Lily away from the bunker and hide her somewhere away from the British Men of Letter's, we can keep her safe from them and Lucifer won't be able to take her anyway", reasoned Sam.

"Lucifer may not be able to take Lily but nothings stopping him from taking you, Sam!", argued Dean.

"Dean, I'm never going to say 'yes' to him!", exclaimed Sam.

"That doesn't make me feel any better, Sam. If he has no use for you, he'll kill you! I don't care how many fancy weapons those British dicks have, I don't like their chances against 3 Winchester's and 2 angel's".

"They used a banishing sigil on Cas before, there's nothing stopping them from doing it again! Plus we're probably no safer from Lucifer in the bunker than we are out in the open. Remember when Lucifer got in the bunker as Cas? Or when he got in the bunker wearing our mom as vessel? We're probably not safe from Lucifer anywhere but at least we could keep Lily safe from the British Men of Letter's if we get her out of the bunker", reasoned Sam.

"Okay, let's not make any decisions about this until we get back and talk to Chuck and Gabriel", sighed Dean. 

* * *

 Walking down the steps of the bunker, they were greeted by Gabriel. 

"Is Chuck around?", asked Dean. 

"No, he left with Amara. He said he'll be back again soon", shrugged Gabriel. 

"Yeah, I won't hold my breath", Seethed Dean. 

"Woah, what's got your panties in a bunch? Bad hunt?" Prodded Gabriel.

"The hunt was fine. Sam had a vision", informed Cas as he and Mary followed Sam and Dean into the bunker. 

"What about?", frowned Gabriel.

"Lily", said Dean. 

* * *

Mary had left Sam, Dean, Gabriel and Cas to discuss their next plan of action. Mary poured herself a mug of coffee and sat in the kitchen, trying to process their latest dilemma. 

Cas walked into kitchen. 

"Are you okay?", he asked Mary.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How come you're not in on the discussion?", wondered Mary.

"From past experiences, it'll likely take Sam and Dean a while to agree of what should happen. I decided to let them get on with it", smiled Cas. 

"Yeah it's kind of nice that, even though I missed out on the boy's childhood, I still get to witness the sibling squabbles", grinned Mary.

"How are you, Mary? Before Sam and Dean were arrested you were having some space but since the boys have been back you have been thrown in to the never ending cycle of chaos that is Sam and Dean's life. I imagine it must be difficult for you"

"I should never have left the boys. I was trying to process everything that's happened. I was trying to sort myself out so I could be the mother they deserved but Sam and Dean ended up in trouble and I wasn't there to help them. I'm their mom, I'm supposed to protect them. As hard as all of this has been for me, the boy's have been through so much worse and it's time for me to put them first. I know they've had each other and they've had you but they need all the family they can get", explained Mary quietly. 

"Sam and Dean getting arrested was not your fault. They have gotten by their whole lives by relying on each other. They could survive without you, not that they'd want too. They want you around. Dean has few memories of having a mother and Sam has none. This is new to them too but they want you here. They love you but if you needed to leave, they'd survive. I don't think they'd want you stay out of obligation", stated Cas. 

"I want to stay, Cas. When they were missing... let's just say that they're all I have and I can't lose them. They may not be the little boys I remember but they're still my boy's. I love them and I want to help them. Lucifer showed me what happened to Sam in the cage. I can only imagine what else they've been through. After seeing that...I kind of don't want them to leave my sight ever again. I mean, hearing what those boy's have been through is one thing but actually seeing it...that cage, it was unimaginable. I want to be around to make sure nothing like that ever happens again. I know I'm only human and there are things I can't control but I'll at least be there to hold their hands", explained Mary emotionally. 

Cas nodded in understanding, "If it means anything, I can tell having you around has a profoundly positive effect on Sam and Dean".

"Thanks Castiel and thank you for being there for them when I wasn't", smiled Mary.

"Can I ask you something Castiel? About Sam's vision? This is something that has happened before?", asked Mary. 

"Yes, when the yellow eye'd demon came into Sam's nursery years ago, he bled into Sam's mouth. The demon blood in Sam caused him to develop certain psychic abilities. He used to get visions regularly. Premonitions of things that would happen. I believe Sam's abilities have been dormant for quite a few years now though", explained Cas.

Memory ignored the twinge of guilt at hearing details of the consequences of the deal she had made. Jolting her from her thoughts, Dean, Sam and Gabriel walked into the kitchen. 

"So, what's the plan?", asked Mary.

"We're gonna stick it out here", announced Gabriel.

"Yeah, we're not completely safe anywhere but here is our best bet. We just need to take some extra precautions and be prepared if the British Men of Letter's decide to show up", added Dean. Sam didn't seem satisfied with the plan but was going along with it.  

Mary, for the millionth time since being brought back, wished life was different for her boys. She wished they'd been able to live a pain-free existence away from the chaos of the world most people weren't aware of. But this was her children's lives and they seemed to accept that. She would too and she'd help them in any way she could.

* * *

The bunker was pretty much on lock down. None of it's residents were leaving it and they planning to make sure no one entered it either. Dean was in the war room, teaching Lily how to play cards. Gabriel was in the war room too, subtly changing Lily's card in order to make sure she beat Dean, much to Dean's displeasure. Cas was binge watching netflix, which had gotten a bad habit of his. Mary was in the kitchen, reheating leftovers with Sam getting the plates together. 

Having to lay low in the bunker had led to Sam, Dean, Cas, Mary, Gabriel and Lily falling into an almost normal family dynamic. They still researched and worked to protect the bunker but they couldn't hunt and for once they weren't fighting. Instead they developed a comfortable routine of enjoying each other's company. Even Dean, who was usually tearing his hair out at being stuck in the bunker for too long, seemed pretty content. 

The group couldn't get too comfortable though. It felt like there was an axe hanging above there head's that could drop at any given moment. Hiding out in the bunker wasn't a permanent solution. They needed a plan to beat Lucifer and avoid the clutches of the British Men of Letter's. For now though, they were okay with relaxing a little, even if it was only for a few days. 

After eating the leftovers, Sam made his way to his room. Sleep was still being an issue for Sam but he was tired now and he decided to take any opportunities he could get to sleep considering he wasn't doing much of it at night.

Climbing into his bed, Sam quickly fell asleep. 

* * *

 

Sam woke abruptly. The wailing sound of an alarm echoed through the bunker and red lights flashed throughout.

Sam stood to attention instantly, grabbing his weapons and running to the last place he'd seen his family.

In the war room, Dean, Cas, Mary and Gabriel were all unconscious on the floor. There was a strange symbol on the wall. It wasn't an angel banishing symbol but it looked somewhat similar and was drawn in blood. Sam didn't recognize the symbol but he guessed that it was some sigil that was responsible for his families unconcious states. 

He wanted to run to them, make sure they were okay but he had to settle on taking solice from the even and regular rise and fall of their chests because Arthur Ketch was carrying a squirming Lily, who was wearing the strange cuff he'd seen in the vision, out of the bunker. Taking another glance at the figures on the floor to reassure himself that they were all alive, Sam sprinting after the British Man. 

Ketch and Lily were only just outside the bunker when Sam caught up to them. Ketch quickly put Lily in the car and a fight broke out between Sam and Ketch. Desperate to rescue Lily, Sam was determined and he was a Winchester. So no matter how well trained and ruthless Ketch was, Sam currently had the upper hand. He dodged blows from Ketch and landed several forceful punches that incapacitated him. 

Sam turned to retrieve Lily from the car, so failed to see Ketch pulling out a golden knuckle duster from his jacket. Before Sam could successfully free Lily, a painful blow hit his head. Sam tried to regain himself, turning to fight Ketch but Sam had been slowed by the blow of the heavy object. Once again, Ketch forcefully slammed his knuckle duster clad fist into Sam's face. This time with more force as Sam swayed from the blow of the unforgiving weapon. Ketch hit Sam a third time and Sam knew this time, he was out. 

He felt his body grow heavy and his legs begin to buckle. Sam could feel his uncooperative body descending to the floor just as blackness started to infect his vision until conciousness evaded him completely. 

Sam's body thumped to the ground painfully.

For Sam, there was only darkness


	10. The Illusion Of Power

_What is it that turns you on to the illusion of power,_   
_This thing that grabs you by the heart and makes you want to tear things down._   
_There is no reason why I should need all this power, but if you cross me now,_   
_I'm gonna tear your whole world down._   
  
_The illusion of power, things I feel, seem so real,_   
_The illusion of power._   
  
_I can' get the emotional thing straight in my head,_   
_Everything I love dies to soon, or is already dead._   
_Don't stand too close I spit and breath fire_

_\- The Illusion Of Power, Black Sabbath_

* * *

 

Sam came around slowly. Becoming aware of his body, pieces at a time. Noting his legs and arms. His torso and eventually his head. His head felt fuzzy and distorted. It took him a second to remember the events leading up to his black out. The British Men of Letter's.

Sam had expected to wake up on the cold concrete outside of the bunker, where he'd fought with Ketch. Where he'd failed. Failed to keep the little girl, who'd already witnessed too much, safe from further threat. Instead he felt himself in a upright position, legs and arms unmovable. His eye's adjusted to the light, taking in his surroundings.

His was in a cell. Not solid and absolute like the one at the maximum security prison where he and Dean had been kept. This cell was made from steel bars, light cascading through them and leaving him with the ability to see all of his surroundings.

There was another cell to the right of Sam's, same structure as his own. Lily was in there. Sam was placed in a chair with metal cuffs holding his feet and arms to it. Lily was laying on a cot. The cuff with the strange symbols on it was still attached to her wrist but now it was attached to a chain which was attached to the side of her cell. The poor kid was still out. Sam noticed a small red mark on Lily's neck that looked suspiciously like a needle entry mark. He felt a faint sting the size of a pinpoint prick on his own neck. The bastards had injected he and Lily with something. Probably a strong sedative or maybe something that involved spell work like Toni's injections had. Either way it had kept Sam out cold while he'd been brought to this place and manouvered into the chair and Lily was still out now.

Sam gave an experimental tug on his cuffs but they didn't give an inch which hadn't surprised Sam.

Sam was a little confused as to why Ketch had taken him as well as Lily. Sure, he hadn't the best record with the British Men of Letter's but after Toni, the other member's he'd met had feigned alliance to the boys. Not that Sam had trusted them for a second but they seemed to want to get some American hunter's on side so this move was a little unexpected. At least Lily wouldn't have to be alone, though. Sam could do his best to keep Ketch's attention on him and away from Lily. Sam could only hope that they'd leave Lily alone and that he'd be able to take the brunt of whatever these dicks were planning on doing, until Dean got here.

He knew Dean would get here. He knew his big brother wouldn't stop until they had and Gabriel would also be determined to get his niece back so Sam felt pretty confident he and Lily would be out of here soon. The last time he'd been captured by a member of the Men of Letter's, British Chapter, he had been hopeless. He'd thought his brother was dead and Cas had been sent to god knows where. He was completely alone and although he'd fought to get free, because fighting is what they did, he hadn't really cared. The threat of torture was something that Sam had been used to. The threat of death meant nothing with his brother gone. He had been resigned and numb but this time was different.

Dean was alive and he knew his brother would help them. He also had Mary and Cas and even Gabriel in the mix now. Although Sam had been weary of the archangel at first, he'd come to consider him a sort of friend. This time Sam had hope and with the little girl lying in the cell beside's him, Sam would never stop fighting to get out of this place.

* * *

 

Dean felt a hand shaking his shoulder's. Dean wanted to comply, wanted to open his eye's and see what the hell was going on but his lids felt like weight's and right now he didn't have the strength to lift them. But the hands trying to wake him seemed to grow more urgent so Dean begrudgingly prized his eye's open.

Mary was kneeling over him with a concerned look adorning her face.

"Dean? Are you okay?", asked Mary. Dean grunted in reply as he forced himself in a upright position. As Dean took in the scene around him, his memory made an appearance. He remembered Ketch. Sam had been right and he had come for Lily but Ketch had come alone. So even as the bunker's alarms sounded, he was confident that a group of hunters and angels could take out one human. Dean had been sure that Ketch couldn't beat all of them.

But as it turned out, Ketch didn't need beat them. He only had to defend himself until he'd drawn blood and drawn the symbol on the wall. Dean noticed the bloodied symbol that had since dried. He didn't recognize it. It wasn't an angel banishing sigil but it was some sort of spell. One that had managed to incapacitate everyone in the room including the angel's.

Speaking of the angel's, they too were coming around. Dean scanned the room for Sam, before remembering that Sam had been sleeping. Suddenly Dean didn't feel so tired anymore as he jumped to his feet and ran in the direction of Sam's room. Sam's sheets were strewn across the bed but had no Sam in them. Sam's weapon was missing from it's usual place. Dean felt his heart constrict. Dean hadn't noticed his mom, Cas and Gabriel catch up with him.

"I'm going to check Lily's room", announced Gabriel worriedly. In seconds he was back with the other's.

"I've searched the entire bunker, Lily and Sam aren't here", told Gabriel with a worried expression.

Dean shook his head in denial, "No. No! This is not happening again!", yelled Dean before storming out of the bunker. There were tire marks from where a car had recently skidded off. Dean's jaw clenched as he noticed a small pool of blood not far from the skid marks.

As Dean bent down to the blood, he was joined once again by the other's. Cas bent down to the puddle of blood too.

"This blood, it's Sam's but there isn't enough of it to be from a life threatening injury. I think the British Men of Letter's took Sam as well as Lily", admitted Cas quietly with a weary expression on his face.

Dean felt rage bubbling under his skin. He was sick of his brother being tormented, tortured and kidnapped on a near constant basis. He promised himself this would be the last time.

"Okay, we'll just have to find them then and after we save them, I'm going to kill that son of a bitch who took them", snarled Dean.

* * *

 

_A week later..._

Sam had been able to keep track of time since he and Lily had been captured. He was thankfully for the daylight that was visible. It allowed him to keep an accurate track of days. Sam knew it have been a week.

So far, they'd barely acknowledged Sam's presence, focusing solely on Lily. They hadn't hurt her a such at this point but they regularly injected her with unknown substances. Sam noticed they were watching out for some kind of reaction and always seemed disappointed, apparently not getting the results they wanted. It had been mostly Ketch. The stoic man in a white lab coat came in to use the apparatus in the half of the room that didn't contain two cells, to concoct whatever it was they were giving Lily. The white lab coated man usually left the room after though, leaving Ketch to administer the injection. The far side of the room was covered by a mirrored window. The type where you can't see out of it but other's can see in. Sam guessed that that's where the doctor or scientist or whatever the hell that guy was, went when he left the room.

Lily hadn't seemed to be in pain from any of the injections but she was afraid. There were plenty of times when he and Lily were left alone in their cells and Sam would use this time to assure Lily that they'd be okay. Sam wasn't sure she believed him.

Sam would be released from the shackled chair only 3 times a day. 2 times throughout the day and then through the night to sleep but his ankle was always chained. Apparently they didn't trust him not to try anything.

Sam had once again been bound to the chair and the man in the lab coat once again prepared an injection. This was Sam's cue to start trying to get a rise out of the men. To distract their attention away from Lily but so far it hadn't worked. These men were emotionless and Sam's relentless provocation didn't seem to touch them.

The man in the lab coat left the room as Ketch made his way to Lily's cell who peered at Sam warily.

"I've got to admit, you've definitely got balls. I mean, kidnapping the devil's daughter...if he finds out it'll be your head on a plate", provoked Sam. For the first time, Sam saw a moment of hesitation in Ketch's eye's. It was enough motivation to continue.

"Hell, forget Lucifer. What about God. You've kidnapped his grandchild. He's not going to be happy about that. I'm not sure if you've read the bible but he's pretty into the whole wrath thing. I don't care how many obscure spells or weapons you have, you can't outrun God and Lucifer forever", goaded Sam. It had worked. Ketch put down the needle and opened Sam's cell.

Ketch walked over to Sam, evaluating him with his eye's. Sam should have expected it. Sam had been expecting it but the forceful back handed slap across his cheek shocked him, snapping his head to the side.

"Why do you want with Lily?", questioned Sam quietly, never disturbing his eye contact with Ketch.

"Knowledge is power. We can collect a great deal of knowledge from the child", stated Ketch calmly.

"So what's all of the injections about? How is that collecting information", asked Sam.

"That is our business, Samuel", disregarded Ketch.

"Okay, what about me? What do you want with me?", wondered Sam.

"We wanted to build bridges with the American hunter's. The Winchester brother's are notorious in the American hunter's circle. It was thought that being civil and gaining your trust would be more helpful when it came to building bridges with other hunter's but considering latest developments, I think other hunter's will agree with our decision on what to do with you", smirked Ketch.

"What are talking about?"

"Have you or have you not experienced a vision recently?", asked Ketch.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"The British Men of Letter's have had great success in eliminating supernatural threats in England. The way we have achieved that is by being thorough. By anticipating every move and by ensuring we leave no loose ends. Anyone who is a inhuman creature or has supernatural abilities is a threat to society and will eliminate said threats. You're a psychic Sam, therefore you are a threat. So, I'm going to eliminate you. Just like I eliminated those prison guards after you and your narrow sighted brother let them go. Just like we eliminated that psychic friend of yours...Magda, was it?", smiled Ketch coldly.

Sam felt like the wind had been knocked out him. His meeting with Magda had been brief but he had connected with the young woman. She was not evil or a 'creature'. She was simply a human with psychic abilities. A girl who had been abused by her own family and been made to believe she was pure evil. Magda had never meant to hurt anyone, she'd only wanted help. Aware of who she was and what she could do, Sam had been sure she wouldn't hurt anyone else because he saw a goodness in her.

Fortunately, Sam hadn't been locked in a basement and been forced to whip himself like Magda had but he did understand what it was like to know that your own family believed you were evil. John had thought Sam had evil within him. He'd told Dean that he would possibly have to kill him. It had killed Sam and made him doubt all that he was. Magda had been locked away, constantly being told by the person she cared about that she was the devil. Sam had regarded that hunt as a good one. He'd felt good to know that Magda now had a future ahead of her. That she'd have the chance to live a life she deserved.

Now, all that Sam felt was a deep sense of guilt. What was he thinking, letting a young girl go off on her own like that? She's been off to stay with her aunt but somewhere in between, Ketch had killed.

"She was no more than a kid. An innocent kid", seethed Sam.

"I think you and I have a different definition of innocent. She had killed two innocent people with her abilities", countered Ketch.

"She never meant to hurt anyone. It wasn't her fault and how many innocent people have you killed? The guards? Magda? I'm guessing there the latest of a long line so what makes you so much better than them? Why is it that you are so righteous but they deserved to be killed?", implored Sam letting emotions take control a little.

"The guards were a liability. I killed everyone who knew about your little prison break. If the word had got out it would have drawn national attention to you and your brother which would risk bringing attention to our world. A key component of keeping people safe from the supernatural dangers of the world is ignorance. If civilian's become aware of the existence of supernatural beings, there would be a moral panic. Killing those guards was necessary move. Sometime's you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet. Sacrifice's have to be made for the greater good. You should know that more than anyone Sam, there are more than a few innocent live's lost, on your conscious, I believe. We are more alike than you think", stated Ketch.

"I am nothing like you", insisted Sam.

"That's true. I am not tainted by impure blood. We have been keeping track of you and your brother, Sam. We are fully aware of your past indiscretions. We believed that all the demon blood was cleansed of your system when God put you on that plane, after you'd set Lucifer free but then you have another premonition so it looks like we were wrong. Now you are a threat too, Sam", informed Ketch.

"If you want to 'eliminate' me, why a haven't you killed me?", asked Sam.

"Well there is time for that yet. There is still information to be drawn from you", smiled Ketch.

"You haven't been near me in a week, funny way to get information", frowned Sam.

"For now, the nephilim was a higher priority and no one is coming to find you, Sam. So we have all the time in the world", stated Ketch.

He turned from Sam and once again picked up the syringe and headed towards Lily.

"Stay away from her", ordered Sam with as much conviction as he could muster. Ketch inserted the needle under Lily skin and injected the liquid.

* * *

 

 

The last injection that had been delivered to Lily had affected her. It seemed to trigger her aging process. Lily now looked around the age of a 15/16 year old girl. However, as she fearfully glanced at Sam as if she was begging him to help, it was painfully obvious just how young she really was. 

"It's okay Lily, we're going to get out of here. We'll be back at the bunker before you know it", promised Sam. 

Ketch and the other guy, who Sam still hadn't caught a name for, walked in. 

"So, any further developments from the serum?", questioned Ketch. 

"No, it does seemed to have triggered her bodies physical aging process but no other findings have been observed", affirmed the man. 

"We need to go back to the drawing board. The serum is obviously not working the way we need it too. You need to devise a new formula. There is no point in continuing the current batch of injections when they are obviously not working", ordered Ketch. The man in the lab coat nodded and exited. 

"Well, Sam. It seems as though our progress with the nephilim is on hold. That means I get to focus my attention on you", remarked Ketch with a tight smile. 

* * *

 

_3 days later..._

Sam's head lolled to the side, his body was littered with fresh bruises. More of the same of what Toni had done. Although Sam had to admit that Ketch was slightly more efficient than Toni. He knew how to make his captives talk. Sam had no doubt that in a usual situation, Ketch would have no trouble extracting information from someone but Sam wasn't your average person. As he'd told Toni, he'd been tortured by Lucifer, no amount of pain that Ketch could bring to Sam would be new. He'd been through much, much worse. 

Sam had stayed tight lipped over the past 3 days. The other guy had yet to return so Sam guessed that he must be still working on whatever serum they were creating. Sam didn't mind. He'd take the hits if it gave Lily a break but he could here Lily's constant whimpers and occasionally rage filled words at Ketch. Sam was almost certain that the cuff they had Lily in, blocked her powers somehow. Because Sam sensed her rage. Lily was protective of the people she cared about and Sam guessed that if Lily had full use of her powers, Ketch would be toast by now.

Ketch began to talk which brought Sam's attention away from Lily. 

"You know Sam? It really is in your best interest to talk to me. You're only alive whilst your still useful and if you refuse to talk I will have no use for you", stated Ketch.

"Well, you're planning on killing me anyway, what's the point of delaying the inevitable", snarled Sam. 

Ketch pulled out a syringe from his supplies and pulled out a liquid vial before heading back to Sam. 

"Let me guess, some hallucinogenic/spell that will mess with my head? Toni tried that too but I didn't tell her anything either", remarked Sam.

Ketch didn't bother to answer, he simply store into Sam's eye's. The look in Ketch's eye's unnerved Sam. He'd faced more monsters than he could recount. Spent years with Lucifer. But something about Ketch was different. Before the cage, Sam had considered Lucifer cold and calculating but after spending more than a century with him, Sam realized that Lucifer was a tornado of emotion. He was full of hate, resentment, anger, pain and self righteousness. He was evil and would destroy a planet without a second thought but despite how much he hated them, there was something kind of human about Lucifer. 

Looking into Ketch's eye's. He saw no humanity. No emotion. Just a cold glint and a task at hand. Sam could see that this man would have no qualms in killing innocent people. No problem with killing a child. He wouldn't lose any sleep. Lucifer may be evil personified but he had weaknesses. Buttons that could be pressed but Ketch didn't seem to care about a damned thing. How were you supposed to beat that? Despite there insistence that they were intellectuals, the British Men of Letter's were trained killers. Merciless. Sam knew that nothing good would come from under estimating them. Sam knew that even if Dean swept in to save the day, it wouldn't be the last they saw of the organisation. 

"Now Sam, this little injection conjures people's worse fears. Makes them see people they fear the most. Let's hope it doesn't liquidate your brain in the process", smiled Ketch as he plunged the needle into Sam's neck. 

Nothing happened at first. Sam was waiting for the shoe to drop. He'd wondered if the liquid had been ineffective until he heard a familiar voice and his blood ran cold. 

Lucifer. 

* * *

 

_2 days later..._

Dean paced restlessly in the bunker, "Why the hell haven't you found them yet? You're supposed to be a freaking archangel? Can you do anything?", yelled Dean to Gabriel.

"It isn't just your brother that is missing, Dean. My niece is too, don't you think if I could have gotten them by now that I would've off? Wherever they are, they must be warded from angel's. These are no regular human's, they have a lot of knowledge on their side", argued Gabriel.

Dean stormed off, annoyed by Gabriel's presence. It wasn't Gabriel's fault but Dean needed to blame someone and Gabriel was the easiest to take his anger out on without feeling like a jerk.

Dean found himself in Sam's room. In the time since Sam and Lily had been taken, Dean had made Sam's room up just how he liked it. Clinically neat. Dean sat down on the edge of Sam's bed and dropped his head. He wasn't the praying type. That was Sam's thing but he was pretty much willing to try anything. Chuck didn't have the best record when it came to answering prayers but this time, his granddaughter was involved so it was worth a shot.

"Hey Chuck? I know you're having family time with your sister and all that but something's happened. Sam and Lily have been taken and the people who have them are dangerous. They're warded from angel's and we...we need help to get them back so if you have your ear's on...we could really do with a hand", sighed Dean who wasn't exactly surprised to receive no answer.

 

He walked back to his family. He was more than surprised to find the added addition of Chuck and Amara in the war room. Dean felt that same magnetic pull towards Amara that he had felt when she had been released but it wasn't hard to ignore this time, there was more important things like getting Sam home. 

"Dad?", asked Gabriel.

"Son", smiled Chuck, "I heard your prayers Dean. Amara and I have come to help".

* * *

 

"Sammy, talk to me", moaned Lucifer. Wearing his old vessel, Nick. 

"Just an hallucination", Sam repeated to himself as a mantra. The past couple of days had been spent alternating between witnessing his family being killed, particularly Dean and visits from Lucifer. Sometimes both simultaneously. His two biggest fears.

"What makes you so sure that I'm not real, Sam? I mean doesn't your life lately seem a bit far fetched? I mean Dean surviving a stand of with auntie Amara and then mommy dearest being back too? When did you guys ever get that lucky. Then the president is possessed by moi and you take in my offspring? Doesn't that sound a little crazy even by your standards? Have you ever considered that maybe you never got free of that uptight British bitch? That maybe all of what's happened since was an elaborate mind game? That steamy randezvous with her had seemed oh so real, hadn't it Sammy?", questioned Lucifer. 

A wave of doubt ran through Sam. No. This was real. Dean was alive. Dean was okay. Sam inwardly repeated it to himself. 

"Aww Sammy,  you really are a loose can of screws aren't ya? How can you ever really be sure what's real and what's not? After our time together in the cage, doesn't it ever occur to you that you can't trust anything that happens to you? Can't be sure that, that messed up noggin of yours is making stuff up? Sucks to be you", grinned Lucifer. No, this wasn't Lucifer. This was some image of Lucifer his brain had made up. He promised himself that but whether it was his insecurities being played on or whatever drug that was in his blood, a seed of doubt had been planted in Sam that he couldn't shake. 

Sam clenched his eye's to block out Lucifer standing in front of him. 

* * *

 

Lily watched in horror as Sam whimpered quietly and mumbled to someone who wasn't there. Whatever the man had done to Sam, Sam was suffering and Lily felt useless. No matter how frustrated she got, her powers were lost too her and she had sit and watch as Sam was hurting. 

Sam was still in his own world when Ketch returned. He went to Sam, holding a new device in his hand. Lily didn't know what it was but when Ketch brought the device to Sam's body, he writhed in pain. A scream escaping his mouth. 

"Y...you, you're n..not..rr...real", Stuttered Sam. Sam was seeing someone different. 

"If only your brother could see you now. So weak. He'd be ashamed. Dean Winchester may be a neanderthal but he was strong. What would he say if he saw his brother, a snivelling wreck", snarled Ketch spitefully. 

Sam visibly flinched at the words. Lily felt a rage filling her. The anger sent a wave a heat spreading through her body. She inhaled deeply. She felt true hatred. This man didn't know her or Sam yet he took it upon himself to take them from their home and treat them like they were nothing. She felt anger as she looked at Sam, a man who'd showed nothing but kindness to her since Gabriel had took her took the bunker, was hurting. She felt anger that he'd continuelly injected strange liquid into her. Liquid that made her skin tingle with magic and aged her body further. She hated that they'd treated her like some kind of experiment. What gave them the right? 

This man deserved pain. He deserved to suffer. Lily felt her anger grow intensely. So much so that it made her oblivious to anything else. She had not noticed her arms as the veins beneath her skin began to glow. She did not notice the room around her quake. And she didn't notice as the metal cuff around her wrist snapped open, falling to ground.  

Her power was completely free with the cuff gone and Lily's destain for Ketch did not subside. Shaking with pure rage, Lily lifted a hand, lifting a shocked Ketch in the air. She twisted her hand and Ketch yelled in agony. Several bones in his body crunching. Lily felt satisfaction at his cries of pain. But the satisfaction did not quell her anger. Lily slammed her raised arms abruptly down and with it, the building crashed down around her. 

* * *

 

As Chuck informed them of his intention of helping them find Lily and Sam, he frowned and sat down. 

"What's wrong?", asked Dean. 

"I sensed it too", stated Amara to her brother.

"It's Lily. I know where she is. Something has happened", informed Chuck. 

With a snap of his fingers, everyone inside the bunker was transported to a different location. Wherever they were, it looked like a disaster zone. 

Buildings were reduced to crumbled remains and groups of people limped in the streets, screaming for help. Others weren't so lucky. Limbs could be seen jutting out from under rubble and people cried for their dead relatives. 

"What the hell happened here?", questioned Dean. 

"Lily", admitted Gabriel.

Chuck walked over to a particular building, well what was left of it. A huge crack, about 1/4 of a mile long, spread along the length of the road. Chuck once again transported them across the crack and cleared the rubble of the building without any effort. 

Once the dust had settled, the scene became clear. The ruined building had been where Sam and Lily were being held. Lily stood in the centre of the destruction. Despite the buildings fall, Sam was upright, locked down in a chair but unconscious. Dean fought through the remaining rubble to his brother and felt his neck. A pulse. Dean sighed in relief but not for long as he got a proper look at his brother. Some son of a bitch had hurt him again. 

"Lily, what happened?", asked Dean. The others had joined him, taking in the scene. 

"I think Lily shielded Sam when the building collapsed", noted Cas. 

"Yeah but why exactly did the building collapse?" Questioned Dean. 

"Because of me. I...I killed the man who took us. He's dead and I brought down the rest of this town with him", admitted Lily as her shocked face took in the destruction. 

Gabriel noticed that Lily looked significantly older than when he'd last seen her.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay", he assured Lily. 

"I killed people, didn't I? I didn't...I didn't mean to hurt anyone...well I meant to hurt him but nobody else", stated Lily. She seemed on the verge of a freak out. 

"It's okay, Lily. I will fix the town and bring back the people who have been hurt", reassured Chuck. 

Lily looked dumbfounded as she assessed the damage she'd done. 

"Sam. He's hurt. They did something", noted Lily absentmindedly, still in shock.

"Okay, let's get everyone back to the bunker", said Chuck. 

* * *

 

Chuck had brought everyone back to the bunker and fixed the town Lily had destroyed as promised. 

Sam had been a mess. His physical injuries looked painful but no more than the boys were used too. It was the invisible injuries Dean was concerned about. Sam had barely seemed to notice Dean was there. He just kept mumbling about something "not being real". Lily told them how they'd injected Sam with some mind altering crap again. So Gabriel healed his physical injuries and removed any of the drug that was still remaining in Sam's body. 

Sam had been out of it since though and Dean had taken his seat by Sam's bed. 

"This is becoming a routine of ours and I don't like it, we're definitely breaking this habit, Sammy", sighed Dean to his sleeping little brother. 

Chuck and Amara were with Gabriel and Lily. Although Chuck had fixed the town she'd destroyed, the fact that she'd killed multiple people in and fit of rage was concerning but Dean didn't give a damn. His only concern right now was his brother. Lily may have took down a town but she'd also killed the son of a bitch who'd done this to Sam and Dean was grateful for that. They would need to talk about what Lily had done. They would need to talk about the British Men of Letter's and Lucifer and a whole bunch of stuff but right now, Dean would concentrate on picking his brother back up like he always did. The rest of it could wait. 


	11. Bother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is understandably shaken up from his time with Ketch and Dean is there to pick him up. The group worries about Lily's outburst and Amara has a suggestion.
> 
>  
> 
> So this chapter follows after Sam and Lily get back to the bunker. This chapter I got down really quickly and is mostly some much needed comfort for Sam from his brother. 
> 
> I sometimes get frustrated with the show that they tend to brush the things that boys go through under the carpet so this was my way of satisfying that.

_Never had a voice to protest_   
_So you fed me shit to digest_   
_I wish I had a reason;_   
_my flaws are open season_   
_For this, I gave up trying_   
_One good turn deserves my dying_   
  
_You don't need to bother;_   
_I don't need to be_   
_I'll keep slipping farther_   
_But once I hold on,_   
_I won't let go 'til it bleeds_   
  


_\- Bother, Stone Sour_

* * *

 

Sam started to stir. His eye's fluttered open and he squinted at the light. Dean breathed deeply, relieved Sam was coming around. Gabriel had assured Dean that he'd healed Sam and that he was physically fine but Dean wouldn't relax properly until he had seen his brother up and about, for himself. 

"Hey, Sammy! Finally decided to join us, hey?" grinned Dean. 

Sam shot up, suddenly alert, eye's panicked.

"Hey there, it's okay. You're home, you're okay. We're all okay", promised Dean. Sam store at Dean. A look on his face, that if Dean didn't know any better, would say was suspicion. Sam continued to look disbelievingly before seeming to relax.

"What happened?", asked Sam.

"Well, Lily took down the place. She was trying to kill Ketch. She succeeded in that, by the way but took the rest of the town down too", recalled Dean.

"What? Is anyone hurt?"

"Half of the town was crushed but Chuck fixed the place, brought the people back", shrugged Dean.

"Okay, so this is a problem", sighed Sam rubbing a hand over his face.

"Yeah, the god squad are having a talk as we speak", told Dean.

"Okay, so what next?" asked Sam.

"Well first of all, your getting some down town", told Dean.

"Dean, we don't have time. I'm fine", sighed Sam. 

"What the hell happened, Sam? You seem jumpy"

"I'm fine, I just want to get to work", insisted Sam as he climbed to his feet. Sam walked out of his room with Dean on his tail. 

* * *

 Lily sat on the desk chair in her room, staring intently at the floor.

"It's okay, Lily. We're not mad, we just want to understand what happened", smiled Gabriel. 

"They had this metal cuff around my wrist. I don't know what it was but it stopped me from being able to use my power. Well it stopped me at first. The man kept injecting me with stuff, it made me age. Then they hurt Sam and injected him with something and I just got so mad. He had no right to treat me or Sam that way. He deserved to be hurt. I wanted to hurt him. But I didn't mean to hurt anyone else. I just got...lost in it. Lost in that feeling", explained Lily.

Gabriel was concerned with by how unfazed Lily seemed that she had knowingly killed a man. Not that Gabriel didn't agree, he had deserved it but Lily was such a sweet girl and seeing he talking about killing someone with so little emotion was disturbing. 

"Okay, Lily. You should get some rest", smiled Chuck as he, Gabriel and Amara left the room.

* * *

Gabriel, Chuck and Amara joined the Winchester's and Cas in the bunker's war room. 

"How'd it go with Lily?" asked Dean.

"We don't really know anymore than before. She meant to kill Ketch, the rest was an accident", admitted Gabriel.

"Okay, so what are we going to do? Ketch, he was asking for it and I'll be sure to give Lily a high five when I see her for that but the rest of that place...if Chuck hadn't been there, hundred's of people would have died", stated Dean.

"But Chuck was there", argued Gabriel.

"What if the next time Lily flatten's a whole town, Chuck isn't here? What are we going to do then? We need to do something about this. The thing we've got going on now, it's obviously not working", countered Dean.

"Do something about this? What exactly are you suggesting we do about this? Kill her?", seethed Gabriel. 

"I never said that! But we need to make sure something like that doesn't happen again", sighed Dean.

"Maybe I can help", suggested Amara, "I can probably understand Lily better than anyone. Her life so far is not so different to mine when I was first released. The accelerated physical growing, the growing power, the anger, the destruction. I understand it. However, I have control over it. I could perhaps help her".

"Do you know how to help her to control her power?" asked Gabriel.

"My power is great. If I had not known how to control it, I'd have been in Lily's situation. However, even when my form was a small child, I was older than time itself. Lily has only just come into this world. It's not realistic to expect her to be able to turn her power on and off when it is useful. It will take time and patience but I can help Lily", assured Amara. 

"Okay, that sounds like a plan", agreed Dean.

"However, it may be safer to take Lily away from Earth whilst she learns to control her power", suggested Amara.

"No way! Heaven isn't safe for her. Angel's aren't going to be too happy about Lily and Lucifer can find her there", argued Gabriel. 

"We don't need to take her to heaven. We can take Lily to a place that I created. A place that isn't on earth or heaven. It is safe for Lily", interjected Chuck. 

"She's comfortable here. It's the only home she knows and she trust these guys. If we take her away to some place she doesn't know, it could just make things worse", argued Gabriel.

"Lily will still live here. Instead of you taking Lily outside to learn how to control her power, we will take her with us and teach her. Then we will bring her back to the bunker. You will come along with us, Gabriel, she trusts you. It's the best way to make this doesn't happen again and to ensure she causes no damage whe she is being trained", bargained Chuck.

"Fine but if Lily isn't happy with this, we hit the drawing board", insisted Gabriel. 

Amara and Chuck nodded in agreement. 

* * *

_2 days later..._

Sam, Dean, Cas, Mary and Gabriel sat around a table. They were at a loose end. They had no idea what to do next in terms of the Lucifer problem or the British Men of Letter's problem. So they leafed through books, trying to get any piece of information that would be even a tiny bit useful. 

Sam had been quiet and twitchy since he'd been back. He looked at everyone like they might disappear any second now. He almost constantly messaged his palm, a habit that was years old but seemed to be worse than usual. He'd refused to talk. Insisted he was fine but Dean wasn't fooled and he didn't think any of the other's were either. 

"Sam, you still haven't said what Ketch wanted with you?", questioned Dean, carefully.

Sam simply shrugged.

"I'm gonna need a few more words here, Sammy" said Dean, exasperated. 

Sam sighed heavily, "They wanted to kill me".

"I thought they wanted us onside?", frowned Mary.

"That was before I had a vision", said Sam.

"What's your vision got to do with any of this?", asked Dean.

"To the British Men of Letter's, there are supernatural creature's and human's. They see no grey area and anything they see as supernatural, they destroy", sighed Sam.

"But you're human, Sam. Why would they try to kill you?", questioned Mary.

"I'm less than human to them. The demon blood, the psychic abilities are enough to warrant death, to them. They said that they thought Chuck had completely purged any of the demon blood from my system but when they learned that I'd had another vision...they wanted to kill me. Like they killed Magda", explained Sam.

"Magda? That psychic kid with the crazy mom?" frowned Dean. Sam nodded.

"These guys are psycho's" remarked Dean, "Is that why you've been acting weird?"

"No, I haven't been acting weird! I'm fine", snapped Sam.

"Yeah, sure seems like it", replied Dean sarcastically.

"Sam, something's going on with you. Is it something to do with the crap they injected you with? I could help", offered Gabriel as he went to lay his hand on Sam's head to figure out if the serum was still lingering in Sam's system. 

"No!", shouted Sam as he scraped back his chair, putting distance between him and Gabriel.

"Okay", Gabriel held his hands up in surrender. 

"I'm fine, the serum is gone. Everything's gone, I'm fine! Just...leave me be", muttered Sam as he left the room.

Dean, Cas and Mary exchanged worried glances as Gabriel stood dumbfounded. 

* * *

Sam shut the door as he strode into his bedroom. He hadn't meant to lose it in front of the other's. He felt like he was losing it. Sam's gut knotted with uncertainty. _This is real. Dean is real. Mom is real. It's all real. Lucifer is on earth but he's not here. He wasn't there in the cell. Everything that's happened since Dean had rescued him from Toni was real._ Sam had to repeat those words over and over to himself. The serum was out of his system. He wasn't seeing Lucifer anymore. Or images of Dean dying on a loop. But Lucifer's words ( _Not Lucifer, Sam reminded himself)_ rang in his head. 

**_How can you ever really be sure what's real and what's not? After our time together in the cage, doesn't it ever occur to you that you can't trust anything that happens to you? Can't be sure that, that messed up noggin of yours is making stuff up?_ **

No. He knew what was real. He knew the time's he'd been effected by angel's distorting reality or throwing them into alternative realities. He knew when hell trauma had caused him to hallucinate. He knew when he'd be drugged and tricked into seeing things that weren't real. And he knew what was real. He did. He knew. This was real. Sam had been convincing himself of this since Ketch had injected him but a seed a doubt had been planted and it had grew into a life of it's own. _This wasn't an illusion. He wasn't with Toni or Ketch anymore_ , Sam assured himself. 

**_Doesn't your life lately seem a bit far fetched? I mean Dean surviving a stand of with auntie Amara and then mommy dearest being back too? When did you guys ever get that lucky. Then the president is possessed by moi and you take in my offspring? Doesn't that sound a little crazy even by your standards? Have you ever considered that maybe you never got free of that uptight British bitch? That maybe all of what's happened since was an elaborate mind game? That steamy rendezvous with her had seemed oh so real_ **

The realistic voice of Lucifer rang through Sam's head. Sam sunk to the ground, gripping his hair in his hands in frustration. 

**_You really are a loose can of screws aren't ya?_ **

**_If only your brother could see you now_ **

**_Sniveling wreck_ **

**_You're a psychic Sam, therefore you are a threat_ **

**_There are more than a few innocent live's lost, on your conscious_ **

**_Tainted by impure blood_ **

Sam screamed and smashed the chair that sat by he desk, against the floor. The chair splintered into pieces and Sam store at his handy work. _I really am losing it_ , Sam thought to himself. 

* * *

Dean had heard a scream and crashing sound coming from Sam's room. Mary had looked panicked and ready to spring into action but Dean knew Sam better than Mary. Dean knew that wasn't a scream that meant Sam was hurting or in danger. It was a scream of frustration, pent up anger and an emotional kind of pain. Dean didn't know exactly what was broken but Dean didn't doubt that if he walked into Sam's room, he'd find something destroyed. 

Outbursts of anger and vandalism were more Dean's thing. Dean often reacted like that as a way of handling tough situations. Sam was usually more pragmatic in time's of crisis. Logical. He usually tried to see things clearly and sensibly, pushing down the emotional fall out until the danger was eliminated. But outbursts like that did come from Sam when he was truly at the end of his rope.

"It's okay, mom. Sam's okay, I think he needs some space", smiled Dean softly as Mary began to get up. She nodded not entirely convinced. 

"Did Lily give any specific details of what happened when she and Sam were captured?" asked Cas.

"She said that they had tried to get Sam to give them information. They tried to use force but at some point they injected him with something", recalled Gabriel.

"And she didn't say anything else?" questioned Dean.

"I think she said something about Sam saying something wasn't real", offered Gabriel. 

Dean's stomach twisted and he and Cas exchanged meaningful glances.

"What?", questioned Gabriel.

"Those ass hole's messed with Sam's head" stated Dean angrily.

* * *

Sam eventually lifted himself up from his bedroom floor. He tried to pull himself together, inwardly berating himself for not being stronger, before he once again joined his family in the war room.

Sam entered sheepishly but thankfully, no one mentioned his little storm out from earlier.

"Want something to eat, Sam?" offered Mary.

"Thanks but I'm okay", smiled Sam briefly. 

"Sam, I know Ketch messed with your head. I get that sometime's talking doesn't always feel great, I really do. You're usually into the chick flick moments, not me but sometime's you need to talk about this crap. Maybe we can help? We're your family Sam", pleaded Dean. 

Sam went to insist he was okay, to tell Dean to get of his back but as he caught Dean's eye's, his words left him. Dean looked so pleading, so worried and desperate for Sam to let him help. So as much as Sam didn't want to burden his brother with more of his issue's, Sam relented, realizing that Dean would only worry more from not knowing. 

"He injected me some drug that was mixed with spell work. He said it made you see your worst fears", conceded Sam.

"What did you see?" asked Dean quietly, although he already knew the answer.

"Different things. Lucifer and you. You dying", whispered Sam. 

"Are you still seeing him?" asked Cas sympathetically.

"No, he's gone. It's just...", Sam trailed off.

"Just what?", encouraged Mary as clasped Sam's hand. 

"Some of the stuff that Lucifer...the hallucination, said got into my head", admitted Sam.

"What stuff?" asked Dean.

"Lucifer...He asked how I could be certain that he wasn't really there with me. How I could be certain of anything after the cage. After the stuff with Toni. He said that the stuff that's happened since, you surviving Amara, mom being brought back alive, Lily, Gabriel...he said that it was crazy even for us and that I wasn't lucky enough to have you survive and have mom back. He asked how I knew that I wasn't still in that basement with Toni, that everything that had happened wasn't just another spell", explained Sam. 

Dean felt like killing someone. Preferable Toni or Ketch. Lucifer would be great, too. 

"So now, you're don't know if any of this is real?", asked Dean. Sam nodded.

"Sam, we're real. All of this is real. Remember, stone number one?" reassured Dean softly.

"It always feels real, Dean. How many time's have we been sent into alternative realities? Djinn's, angel's, Lucifer's mind games, human's. We've been tricked by them all and hadn't it always felt real? When I was Toni, she made me see things and I felt it. It was as real as you and I talking now. I only knew it was an illusion when the drugs were wearing off. How would I know even if this were another one of her tactics?" countered Sam, wearily. 

It dawned on Gabriel, with Sam's admission, why he'd acted like he'd be electrocuted when Gabriel had tried to help. That damn time loop. 

Dean, Cas, Gabriel and Mary sat in silence. None of them knew how to argue with that, how to reason with it. If they had no idea, how would Sam?

Dean, Cas and Gabriel all sat battling with guilt. They knew that in some part, they'd added to this. Gabriel had trapped Sam in a time loop. Subjecting him to watching his only remaining family die, over and over. It had been years ago but Gabriel was beginning to realize that it was probably something a person didn't just forget.

Cas had tore down Sam's wall. He was the reason why Sam spent months tormented by hallucinations. Why Sam had almost died from sleep deprivation.

And Dean had agreed and had a part in, tricking his brother into letting an angel in. An angel who had trapped Sam in a fake reality in his mind before Sam had remembered everything Gadreel had done and expelled him. They were all guilty. Every single person in the room had made their fair share of mistakes, Sam included but mostly, they were in the past. They had moved on but Sam was still suffering as a consequence of some of the mistakes the group had made. Every time someone had messed with Sam, with his sense of reality and his sanity, with his body. Every time someone had hurt him, it had done damage. Damage which they'd never acknowledged properly and now Ketch had made Sam question everything. 

"I'm crazy, aren't I?" commented Sam quietly.

"No, your life is crazy, you aren't", smiled Gabriel. 

"Gabriel's right, taking your lives into account and everything you've been through, questioning reality is a pretty logical and understandable reaction to your situation", agreed Cas. 

Sam gave a small smile to the angel's, "I'm just going to get a drink". 

Dean watched Sam. Saw that he was excusing himself because he didn't want to break.

"I'll go help", told Dean to the other's.

Dean walked into the kitchen where Sam was using the counter to lean himself up, taking deep breaths. 

"Hey Sammy", spoke Dean softly. 

"Hey, I'll be in, in a sec", mumbled Sam. 

"Things will get better you know? You've only just got back from being kidnapped and drugged. You just need time to get back into the swing of things. It's been a crazy year, Lucifer being back, him being in the bunker, Chuck, Amara, Toni, Mom, prison, Lily, Gabriel, Ketch", Dean listed, "we've had so much on our plates that we never had time to process. If I had the history you do with Lucifer, I couldn't have handled having him walking around this place"

"Yeah you could, you can handle anything", replied Sam quietly. 

"So can you, Sammy. That stupid freaking spell or drug or whatever Ketch used on you, along with the crazy year we've had, it's no wonder it messed you up a little. It's natural but it'll be okay. You're strong, Sam. I know you'll be okay because we always are. You've survived more than any human should have too. Just have a little faith in yourself, Sammy", pleaded Dean. 

Sam looked up to Dean, puppy dog eye's in their full glory and all of Dean's hard edge's softened. Dean yanked his brother into his arm's. Dean held tight, an irrational part of his brain scared to let for fear he'd disappear again.

Sam accepted Dean's hug. Sam didn't care if this was real or not, he needed Dean and even if it were some drug induced hallucination, Sam didn't care. He take a fake Dean over no Dean. Sam felt tears sting his eye's be he fought them back. He needed to keep it together. 

"We'll figure this out, Sammy. We'll figure all of it out", promised Dean. 

* * *

 


	12. No Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is still dealing with the repercussions of being drugged by the British Men of Letter's. Meanwhile, the group get more proactive in finding a way to send Lucifer away for good but in the process of their planning, things go horribly wrong.

_I should live my life on bended knee_   
_If I can't control my destiny_   
_You've gotta have a scheme_   
_You've gotta have a plan_   
_In the world of today, for tomorrow's man_   
  
_No control_   
_Stay away from the future_   
_Don't tell God your plans_   
_It's all deranged_   
_No control_

_\- No Control, David Bowie_

* * *

 

Dean, Gabriel and Mary stood in yet another empty warehouse waiting for Crowley to show. With all the crap that'd been going on lately, they'd almost forgotten about Crowley. Before Mary had been possessed, they were going to meet Crowley to collect weapon's they'd found but then Mary did get possessed, Sam died then got brought back, Crowley and Rowena tried to help them with a spell that would expel Lucifer from Mary, Sam almost died again, Lily went nuclear, Sam had a vision and then he and Lily got kidnapped. A lot had gone down and they'd barely had time to breath. But Sam and Lily were back now and Sam had pointed out that they never looked over the weapons Crowley had got together.

There was a chance that they'd be completely useless but they decided it was worth checking out. They phoned Crowley and once again, had gone to meet him. This time Gabriel had come but Sam and Cas had stayed with Lily. Sam was struggling. He was getting by and hiding it well but Dean knew. Dean didn't want to drag Sam along to anything unnecessary but didn't want to leave him alone in the bunker after Lucifer got in the last time Sam was alone. Dean had asked Cas to stay and he'd agreed. Gabriel would need to be there to see if he thought any of the weapons would be anywhere near useful in beating Lucifer.

So here they were, waiting for Crowley to show up.

"Hello boys and Mary" greeted Crowley.

"I don't see any weapons?", protested Dean.

"Hold your horse's squirrel. What, did you think I'd just show up carrying a bunch of ancient weapons? I'm not a bloody delivery boy", told Crowley who proceeded to snap his fingers and the entire room was filled with an array of odd looking weapons.

"You can take any of them you want, all to be returned once Lucifer is dealt with obviously. Like I said, you're free to take any of them. I think the archangel may be interested in some of the weapons I've managed to get my hands on", stated Crowley.

"The archangel has a name and what weapons have you got that'll interest me?" wondered Gabriel.

"Follow me", ordered Crowley.

The group complied until Crowley stopped in front of the corner of the warehouse that was filled with weapons just like the rest of the room was.

"I'm not gonna lie, Crowley, I'm impressed. How'd you get your hands on these?" asked Gabriel.

"I have friends in the right places", told Crowley cryptically.

"Hold on, what the hell is this crap?", wondered Dean.

"They're weapons, from a load of different Pagan deities. This stuff comes from the Trickster's world. Remember, Trickster?" asked Gabriel, motioning to himself.

"Yeah but you're not really the Trickster, that was just your cover so why so pleased?" frowned Dean.

"I may not be the Trickster but I spent a whole lot of time pretending to be and hanging around with pagan god's which means I know my way around these weapons. They have some powerful stuff that I know how to use, this could be useful", explained Gabriel.

"So, seeing anything that will help us?" urged Dean impatiently.

"This could work", offered Gabriel as he held up some sort of thin binding.

"What is it?", asked Mary.

"It's called Gleipnir. It is a strong binding. There was an extremely strong wolf which no type of metal chain could hold. It kept breaking free. So the God's decided to order a indestructible binding to be made. Made from the spittle of a bird, the breath of a fish, the sinews of a bear, the roots of a mountain, the beard of a woman and the sound of a cat's footfall. Not exactly the type of ingredients you can get at your local grocery store but it's supposedly indestructible. We could use this hold Lucifer. It's not end game but it could definitely help. Hold him in order to actually put him in the cage" explained Gabriel.

"So, that's your plan?" questioned Dean.

"I've already told you, I don't think I can kill Luci and I don't want to either. But I will help you put him back in the cage. This binding is probably our best bet at holding him long enough to throw him back in the cage. The binding is unbreakable and I can make some modifications to it so it's angel proof, extra precautions", shrugged Gabriel.

"This sounds almost too simple and didn't you say that about the bunker? That you'd add some extra warding and it'd all be fine? Look how well that turned out", doubted Dean.

"Yeah well, this is the best plan we've had so far. Do you have anything better up your sleeve, Dean-o? We can take the best of these weapons too, so we can fight if we need too but putting Lucifer in the cage is our best and most realistic option", argued Gabriel.

"Fine, let's got on with it then", sighed Dean.

"There's something else I have that you might be interested in too", added Crowley to Gabriel.

"Yeah? Like what?" questioned Gabriel.

Crowley produced a spear like weapon which had Gabriel's eye's lighting up.

"What? What so special about this spear?" asked Dean.

"It's a lance, not a spear. It's the lance of Michael", stated Gabriel.

"Well that sounds promising, could it kill Lucifer?" asked Dean.

"In theory, yes but if anyone can get around it, it's Lucifer. Remember, the plan is to put him back in the cage" argued Gabriel.

"Yeah but if you precious string doesn't work in holding him, this is a solid back-up plan, right?" insisted Dean.

"Yeah, it's a good back-up plan", relented Gabriel.

* * *

Sam was in the kitchen, putting lunch together for Lily. Sam wasn't elated at being left in the bunker when Dean, Mary and Gabriel were going to meet Crowley. Especially after what happened the last time they'd gone to look at these weapons Crowley had but Sam had relented. Dean had been hovering over Sam incessantly since Sam had admitted that he was having a little trouble with things. Dean was worried and Sam appreciated it but he also needed some air to breathe.

Sam was coping. Mostly. He believed that he was really home with his family and that it was all real but sometimes he didn't. Sometime's he doubted it. When Toni had drugged him and made him see himself _with her_ it had felt so real, so vivid but it hadn't lasted. It had worn off and Toni had avoided using it again in case his brain liquefied. Everything that had happened recently had happened over weeks, months, was it really possible for a drug/spell induced hallucination to go on for that long? It didn't seem likely but not impossible. The British Men of Letter's had more resources than Sam could imagine. Sam reassured himself that nothing could dream up the past few months but there was still some doubt that twisted in the pit of his stomach because really, how could he know for sure? How could he know this wasn't an illusion until the illusion was over?

Sam tried to tell himself that he always knew whether Dean was real or not. No trick could ever get his brother exactly like his Dean but if it was his own mind reacting to Toni's drug, maybe it was different. Maybe Sam's own head could get Dean exactly right.

The sound of porcelain smashing brought Sam from his thoughts abruptly. The plate he'd grabbed to put Lily's sandwich on, had slipped from his grip and shattered on the floor. Sam distractedly bent down to pick up the broken pieces. Sam's mind was else where and as he scooped up the shards, one of the larger shards pierced his hand. It was the hand that he'd used as an anchor when hallucinations of Lucifer had been plaguing his mind. Sam stared at his bloody hand, watching the blood ooze. Sam tried to see if he could differentiate between real pain and pain that wasn't.

"Sam? Sam?", Cas' voice cut through Sam's thoughts.

"Sam? Are you okay?" asked Cas.

"Er, yeah. I'm fine Cas", nodded Sam.

"Here, let me heal your hand", offered Cas.

"No!", snapped Sam.

"Sam...", frowned Cas.

"Sorry, Cas, just...I don't want you to heal it. I need to see that it's still there, that it was..." started Sam.

"Real?" nodded Cas in understanding.

"Fine but you need to clean and wrap the wound, Sam. It may need stitches. I'll clean up this broken plate and deliver lunch to Lily while you take care of your hand", bargained Cas.

"Okay, thanks Cas", smiled Sam.

"Sam, if you need to talk or need anything at all, you know you can ask?" offered Cas in his usual gruff tone.

"I know, I fine Cas, really. It's getting better", insisted Sam.

Cas wasn't convinced but he knew the Winchester's by now and he knew not to push them when they were in any kind of emotional distress and that they often needed time. Sam was his friend and he wanted to help him but he didn't want to push him and make Sam shut down. It bothered Cas when his friends were ailed by things that he could not fix. Cas could heal physical wounds. He could even take away hallucinations and delusions but he couldn't take away the past. He couldn't stop the suffering that his friends had endured through the years and that still haunted them today. He wanted to fix things but couldn't and it always made Cas feel useless.

Cas sighed and placed a sandwich on a plate for Lily and poured her some juice too. Cas took the food into Lily, grateful he could at least do something. 

* * *

Dean walked the stairs to the bunker. Sam and Cas were there which instantly sent relief through Dean. 

"Hey, miss anything?", asked Dean. 

"No, Crowley got anything useful?" Retorted Sam.

"Gabriel thinks we could make it work", shrugged Dean as he sat in the seat next to Sam. Mary was right behind Dean and Gabriel wandered in only seconds later after transporting the weapons to one of the bunker's many rooms. 

"Lily?", asked Gabriel.

"Chuck and Amara came by and took her for a lesson" explained Cas. 

"Okay, we got some planning to do", stated Gabriel as he clapped his hands together. 

"Dude, what happened to your hand?" Frowned Dean. 

"Dean, it's fine. Just a scratch from a broken plate", sighed Sam. 

"It was more than a scratch. Sam stitched it", corrected Cas. 

"Why didn't you heal it?" Asked Dean accusingly.

"I told him not too, now can we please get one with it?" Snapped Sam. 

"Okay, don't get your pantie's in a knot Samuel", smirked Gabriel. 

"Okay, so what's the plan?", interjected Cas. 

"We'll Crowley had a butt load of weapons which may prove useful but what I'm most interested in is this", told Gabriel as he put the thin binding on the table, "Last time, Sam had to take back control whilst being possessed by Luci and jump in the cage because he'd obviously not go willingly, right? Well your game plan worked pretty well last time so why not go for the same one, minus the part where Sam gets possessed and jumps into the cage?"

"What do you mean?" Frowned Cas.

"We use the horseman's rings to open up the cage and throw Lucifer back in. This binding is the strongest thing we're ever going to get, it's our best chance at holding Luci. If we use Crowley's weapons to fight him off until we managed to tie the binding around him, then we can open the gate and push my big brother back down there", rationalized Gabriel.

"But he'll still have to have a vessel in order to physically bind him, right? We can't just let somebody who Lucifer managed to manipulate into saying 'yes', spend an eternity in the cage with Lucifer", opposed Sam 

"Wouldn't it be better to have one human hurt that have Luci topside and killing a whole load of people?" Reasoned Gabriel. 

"Maybe he's right Sam? We do need to put Lucifer back where he belongs and if we don't then a lot of people will suffer", sighed Dean.

"No. Remember 'saving people' Dean? What happened to that? I've been down there with him and I'm not going to agree to letting some innocent person go down there and go through that", exclaimed Sam.

"What about if he possessed someone who was already dead?", offered Mary, "You said Cas' vessel is dead, right? That his soul is in heaven and the body is just an empty meat suit? If Lucifer possessed someone who's already dead, the soul wouldn't be there and the only thing joining Lucifer in the cage would be a dead and empty vessel", suggested Mary.

"That true in theory but getting Lucifer to possess someone who has already died is a whole different story. Lucifer would see right through it and as far as I know, there isn't a way to forcefully make an angel possess someone", Gabriel pointed out. 

"So, we've got no plan then", sighed Dean.

"Maybe...maybe the only plan we have is for me to say 'yes'", suggested Sam quietly.

"No freaking way, Sam", shot down Dean.

"We can't let anyone else go in the pit. We can't force Lucifer to possess a dead guy. Lucifer wants me as vessel. I say 'yes' and you guys can wrap me up in that binding and push me into the cage", suggested Sam. 

"Holy Dad, why are you Winchester's so desperate to sacrifice yourselves?!" Exclaimed an exasperated Gabriel. 

"I wouldn't necessarily have to go in the cage again. If I let him possess, you guys could shoot for the heart and by time you shove Lucifer back in the cage, my meat suit will be empty. Some reaper will have already tossed my soul into the empty", stated Sam.

"No way, Sam. You're not dying, okay? We have half a plan, we'll figure the rest out without you doing something stupid", argued Dean.

"Okay, tell me what else we can do? As far as I can see we've got nothing", sighed Sam.

"I don't care if we've got a better chance of starting a career as freaking ballerina's than we have of getting Lucifer in the cage, you're not sacrificing yourself! End of discussion", yelled Dean. 

"Ballerina's? Dean, you seriously need to stop watching Black Swan", smirked Sam. 

"Sammy, I mean it", pleaded Dean, "obviously the devil walking around the joint is a problem but as of right now, he's not flattening the planet so we got time. No need for those kind of extreme measures".

"Just because doomsday isn't upon us doesn't mean we can relax", argued Sam, "Lucifer being around is never a good thing. Who knows what's he's up too or how many people he's killing as we speak. He is an urgent problem and I need us to sort this now".

"What's this really about?" Asked Dean more softly. 

"What, people dying isn't enough motive for you?" Frowned Sam.

"You know what I mean. There's more to it", insisted Dean. 

Sam visibly deflated, sinking into his chair and squeezing the bridge of his nose. 

"I just...when I jumped into the cage, I didn't think he'd ever be getting out of there. I didn't think either of us were and him being free again kind of just feels like what happened was for nothing but at the time, that was okay. If Lucifer could help us get rid of Amara it'd be worth it but then we didn't even need him for that and now he's going around getting women pregnant and killing groupies and it just feels like...I just...all of the time spent down there, I can't...it can't be for nothing", admitted Sam quietly. 

"I get it, I do but you dying, that's not the answer", said Dean.

"Is it not the answer or just not the answer you want?" asked Sam.

"Both. Beside's there could be a way to force Lucifer to wear the meat suit of our choosing, maybe there's something about in the Men of Letter's file's?" Suggested Dean.

"So we just sit around reading a big pile of nothing again whilst Lucifer runs around doing god know's what?" Exclaimed Sam.

"Yes, you are not doing that Sam. There isn't any room for debate on this", told Dean.

"Maybe Lily could help us. Sam said that she forced Lucifer out of Mary and maybe she can force him to possess somebody too", suggested Cas.

"I don't want to get Lily involved in this", stated Gabriel.

"I second that. It's not fair to bring her into this", agreed Sam.

"Cas has a point though, she may be our only option", stated Dean. 

"I guess it's up to her, she's older now, at least physically. We need to ask her what she wants to do and if she wants to help us, we're gonna need to practise this somehow", offered Gabriel. 

"How the hell do you practice something like that?" Asked Sam.

"I don't know, maybe she could practise on me or Cas? We're angel's.  She could try expelling one of us and putting us into somebody else?" Suggested Gabriel.

"That's sounds like a crappy idea! What if it goes wrong? Lily doesn't know how to do it, it's a lot of guess work and you or Cas could end up being sent to god knows where or worse", objected Sam. 

"What about we get a couple of low level demons for her to try it out with? We can lock them down in the dungeon so they won't be able to get free and hurt Lily or any of us and we can exorcise one so it's an empty vessel and Lily can practice getting the remaining demon from one meat suit to the other", suggested Dean.

"It could work", shrugged Gabriel.

* * *

When Chuck brought Lily back to the bunker, Gabriel had explained their idea but made sure she knew there was absolutely no pressure to do it if she didn't want to but Lily was eager to help. Lily looked about the age of a 17 year old girl. She had the same glistening green eye's and wavy brown hair but the rest of her was constantly changing and growing. It wasn't just her physical appearance that grew quickly but he mental capacity and maturity too. She wasn't even a one year old yet but she was a smart and capable girl and Gabriel felt confident that she'd be honest if she couldn't handle this and Lily definitely seemed to think she could handle it. 

Gabriel, Cas and Lily waited in the bunker whilst Dean, Sam and Mary went to snag them two demon's. The angel's had been waiting a few hours before they heard the metal entrance to the bunker clank. 

Cas greeted the Winchester's as they guided two shackled figures, with their heads covered, down the steps to the bunker. Cas continued to follow his friends as they pushed their captives in the direction of the dungeon. 

They'd already set up the place before going, adding an extra metal chair with warded shackles for protection, next to the one that was already there. 

Sam and Dean secured the demon's into their respective chairs and double checked they were locked down before removing the bags from their heads. 

Two men, around the ages of 25-30 sat disgruntled in their seats, flashing empty black eye's towards Cas. They were gagged and definitely not happy about it. 

"The guy that this one is wearing seems to okay, no visible wounds but this one over here has a bullet wound to the heart. Looks like someone tried to shoot it, probably one of the demon's victims, so his meat suit is dead. That means Lily can exorcise the demon out of the dead meat suit and work on getting the other demon out of this guy and into the dead guy", explained Dean to Cas. 

"Well I'll go let Gabriel and Lily know".

* * *

Lily, Gabriel and Cas rejoined the other's. Sam wasn't so sure this was a good idea. They would have to take of the gags considering demons exit through the mouth but demon's tended to get chatty and Sam didn't want any of them getting into Lily's head. Dean was determined that this could work though, anything to avoid Sam being in the line of fire. Sam appreciated his brother's protectiveness but Sam didn't like bringing Lily into this. It felt like they'd be doing exactly what Lucifer wanted but he was out voted. 

Dean removed the gags from the demon's and Lily instantly began to try and exorcise the demon with the dead meat suit. It took a couple of try's but Lily managed to exorcise the demon from the dead guy relatively quickly. The next part was the hard bit. Lily would need, not only to exorcise the demon but somhow get a hold of it and force it into the slumped body in the next seat. There was no guarantee that it was even possible for Lily to do that. Sam didn't hold high hopes for this plan. Not that he didn't have faith in Lily, he did, he just thought this plan was weak at best.  

* * *

All of the residents in the bunker stood in the dungeon as Lily continued to attempt to place a demon from one vessel to another. 

She'd been trying for two hours now, with little success and Lily was getting frustrated. The demon was also getting provocative and spouting of insults and goads at everyone in the room. 

"Maybe you should take a break, Lil", suggested Gabriel with concern.

"No. I'm going to do this", insisted Lily. Lily's mouth formed a straight line and her brow furrowed in concentration.

"Gabriel's right, Lily. Why don't you have something to eat and try again later?" Offered Sam.

"No, I'm doing this now. I'll eat when I've figured this out", insisted Lily flatly. 

"Determined. Just like your father", interrupted the demon. 

"Shut up", instructed Dean as he doused the demon in holy water and was rewarded with a gritted snarl of pain.

"Winchester's. One day some demon is gonna put you both down and I hope to god it's me", snarled the demon.

"Oh really? Because much bigger bad's than you have tried and failed so I won't lose too much sleep over you adorable little threats. You a glorified security guard. I've seen the way Crowley is with demon's like you, he doesn't give a damn. You're dispensable to him", chimed Dean. 

"Kid, why do you even trust these idiot's? Lucifer is your father and he cares about you more than they ever will. Lucifer is a great and powerful being. There's a reason so many of my kind choose to follow him. Why choose them over him?" Asked the demon.

"Lucifer is not my dad. He killed my mom", stated Lily. 

"You're mom was asking for it", snapped the demon. 

"Hey! Shut it!" Ordered Sam to the demon, "don't let him get in your head, Lily".

"You know, if it hadn't have been for your power, we wouldn't have known who your dad was. There would have been so many options, your mommy was a little slut", cackled the demon. 

"Shut up", growled Lily. 

There was a buzz in the air which radiated from Lily. Her temper was growing and the other's knew this wasn't a good sign. 

"Lily, try to calm down", urged Gabriel softly. 

"Lucifer got some of his demon followers to kill your mom, I didn't see it personally but I heard all about it. They said she pleaded, cried for her life. Got down on her knee's and begged for her life like a little bitch!", smirked the demon. 

"Stop it! Stop it! Shut up!" Screamed Lily. 

As Lily screamed, a light blasted from her, shooting a wave of power throughout the room. Dean briefly thought about how this couldn't be anything but bad news before the wave of power knocked him out. 

* * *

 

Lily stood in the middle of the dungeon. She was growing bigger and stronger but her face was always one of a scared child despite how old she looked. 

She looked at her hands and then at the damage they'd done. She wasn't even sure what she'd done but it wasn't good. The demon, the closest person to her was slumped in the manacles. Dead. So was the man he possessed. The rest of the people in the room were slumped on the floor unconcious.

They were hurt. She didn't know how bad but they were hurt and it was her fault. Lily knew she couldn't stay, couldn't be trusted to not hurt people she cared about. She needed to leave. 

Taking another glance at the people who'd taken her in and given her a home, she disappeared from the bunker. 

* * *

 

Cas became alert quickly. It was one of the differences between human's and angel's that he'd taken notice in the time he'd spent as a human. Human's tended to come around for unconscious slowly and gradually. Angel's came around in an instant and as Cas did, he remembered the events that led to him being unconscious on the cold floor. Lily.

He sat up quickly and looked at his family. Gabriel was awakening too but the human's were out cold.

"Lily. Where's Lily?" Asked Gabriel with a panicked tone. 

"She's gone. The demon's dead. I think Dean, Sam and Mary are hurt" stated Cas worriedly. 

Gabriel got to his feet and went to check on the other's. It seemed those who were closest to Lily got the worst of it. The demon who was closest was dead. The angel's were close but being angel's, they were somewhat protected. Dean was the closest human to Lily with Sam not far from Dean and Mary further to the door. Cas kneeled next to Dean as he tried to rouse him. 

Gabriel shook Mary who woke up quickly. 

"You okay? Are you hurt?" Asked Gabriel.

"I have a killer head ache and a few bruises but I'll be fine. Sam and Dean?" asked Mary as she scanned the room and spotted her son's. Mary ran to their side and Gabriel joined them. 

"They're both unconscious. Sam has a nasty concussion and internal damage to his organs. Dean...Dean has a serious head injury and...he's in a bad way. I can't find a pulse" explained Cas with a hint of panic in his voice. 

Sam started to mumble has he came to. He woke to be hit with a harsh coughing fit as he tried to sit up. 

"Hey, take it easy! You're injured", instructed Gabriel. 

A splatter of blood appeared in Sam's hand as he coughed violently but he ignored Gabriel's warning and wiped the blood on his jeans. 

"Dean", said Sam, eye's wide with fear. Sam looked towards his brother and noticed the absence of the rise and fall of his chest. 

"No, no! Dean? C'mon Dean, wake up" told Sam as his voice cracked. 

Dean remained silent and still. 


	13. Wish You Were Here

_You think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain._  
_Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?_  
_A smile from a veil?_  
_Do you think you can tell?_  
  
_Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?_  
_Hot ashes for trees?_  
_Hot air for a cool breeze?_  
_Cold comfort for change?_  
_Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?_  
  
_How I wish, how I wish you were here_

_\- Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd_

* * *

"He's not breathing! He's not...he needs to breathe! I can't lose him, save him!" pleaded Sam at the angel's desperately.

Gabriel and Cas' initial shock at the current situation dissolved slightly as Sam's fear racked plea's were heard.

"Okay, I'll try", offered Gabriel.

"Try?! What do you mean, try? You're an angel. An archangel. Fix him!" yelled Sam.

"I don't know what Lily did, what her power means...if I can fix what she did" admitted Gabriel.

"That's not good enough! You fixed me, okay? Lucifer killed me and you brought me back, you can bring Dean back. Bring him back!" shouted Sam but his voice lacked anger and instead, was laced with panic.  

"Okay! Okay, I said I would try" reasoned Gabriel as headed over to Dean. 

Gabriel placed his palm on Dean's forehead and tried to heal him. Sam, Cas and Mary waiting eagerly for some sign of life. But nothing happened. 

Gabriel once again tried to heal Dean, worrying that whatever Lily had done, was too much for even him to fix but as Gabriel's grace worked it's way through Dean's broken body, it started to put itself back together again. 

A small strangled gasp of air escaped from Dean's mouth as his chest began to move and his eye's fluttered open.

Sam pulled Dean into a bone crushing grasp and didn't let go.

"Jeez, need to breathe over here Sammy", chuckled Dean in a raspy voice but Sam's grip didn't loosen any.

"Don't you dare scare me like that again, Dean. You're not allowed to die, okay? Cause' I'll find a way to bring you back and kick your ass" warned Sam as he gave Dean one last squeeze before letting him go.

"Like you could kick my ass, little brother', laughed Dean as he sat up and messaged his chest with his palm. 

"So what did I miss?" Asked Dean.

"Lily lost it. The demon riled her and she lost her temper and something happened. She killed the demon and she...she killed you", whispered Mary as she affectionately squeezed Dean's shoulder. 

"Oh", commented Dean, "where is she?"

"Gone, we don't know where", informed Cas.

"Well that's just awesome", sighed Dean, "And what about you guys, are you okay? Sammy, are you hurt?"

"Dean, you just died. Will you quit worrying about me for a second and worry about yourself", implored Sam.

"That's my job, Sasquatch. 'side's I'm good as new", grinned Dean as he pushed himself up of the floor.

"Dean, Sam's right. You need to take it easy" joined Mary. Sam got up to support Dean, smirking at having Mary side with him over Dean's welfare. But the smile disappeared as he swayed a little.

"Hey, you're looking a little peaky over there" commented Dean as Sam's face visibly paled. Sam was about to make some smart ass comeback as more hacking cough's assaulted him, sending a trickle of crimson blood down his chin.

"What the?" frowned Dean. Sam's body went limp as his eye's rolled into the back of his head and he slumped to the floor.

"What the hell?", yelled Dean as he cupped Sam's face.

"He was injured too. Quite severely but you were dead. Sam instructed us to heal you", informed Cas.

"Yeah well I'm all clean and shiny, now fix him!" ordered Dean. 

Gabriel didn't need to be told, he was by Sam's side and assessing the damage.

"There's a lot of internal damage. His liver, kidney's, spleen, intestine's, all of them. He's bleeding into his stomach A LOT. I don't know what Lily did but it managed to leave you with a fatal head injury and Sam with internal injuries which will kill him soon enough", stated Gabriel.

"Well thanks for the update Dr Gregory, now how about you stop him from dying", snapped Dean.

Gabriel didn't acknowledge Dean's comment but did place his palm on Sam's head. Some of the color came back to his cheeks and his eye's jolted back open, wide and panicked.

Sam woke with a start and scooted backwards away from the source of the grace.

"It's okay, Sam. It's just me, you were injured. I healed you", reassured Gabriel.

Sam eventually nodded in acceptance and Dean offered a hand and pulled Sam to his feet.

"Always so dramatic Sammy, always having to be the center of attention", joked Dean. 

"I learnt everything I know from you, Dean", smirked Sam.

"Right so, we're all alive and well? Good, now's the small problem of finding my missing niece", stated Gabriel.

"Well, she's only been alive for a few months. How hard could it be to find her when you're an archangel?" asked Dean.

"Harder than you think. She's strong and she managed to block Lucifer from her dreams without even trying. I'm sure if she puts her mind to it she can ward herself and hide from me", told Gabriel.

"What about Chuck? Surely she won't be able to hide from him?" suggested Sam.

"True, he could probably find her with no problem", agreed Gabriel.

"If he comes that is. He doesn't have the best track record with stepping up when we need him", grumbled Dean.

"That's not inaccurate but this is Lily. He's been quite consistent in wanting to establish a relationship and help her so it's likely he will help us find her", added Cas.

"That's right, I will help find her", came a new voice from behind the group.

Chuck was standing in the door way, the light from the hallway ironically cascading around him like cheesy religious imagery. 

"Geez, give a guy a warning", mumbled Dean. 

"I'm here to help", reassured Chuck.

* * *

Lily sat in a tiny cafe in France. How'd she get there? Well, she had wings now. Huge ashy colored wings. Lily had no idea what she had done back in the bunker and hadn't meant to do it but whatever surge of energy had erupted from her had also brought along wings. She was so caught up in her anger and the power that radiated from her that she barely registered the searing pain as a beautiful set of wings sprouted from her back. They weren't visible to human's, she'd figured that much out considering she wasn't getting strange looks from passersby but they were strikingly obvious to her. There was a dull ache where the editions had rapidly jolted from her back and she felt heavier but she couldn't help but be in awe of them.

That's how she was able to get out of the bunker so quickly and able to get to France. Lily felt a deep sense of guilt thinking about the bunker. She didn't know how bad they were hurt but she'd done it and she couldn't help but feel bad about not sticking around to check on them but Lily needed out. She needed to get away from there before she hurt anyone else. She didn't know how she'd gotten to France.

When she was still little, as in literally little, Lily had watched the Hunchback of Notre-Dame. It was when Sam had given her the reigns to his TV and let her watch what she wanted provided it was age appropriate. She loved watching the animated movie and watch it again and again. Gabriel had brought her the book too, with Sam arguing that the book was too dark for a kid. That was back before a whole lot of bad stuff had gone down. Before the Men of Letter's. Before she'd killed Ketch and hundreds of other people. Before she'd hurt her family. She suspected that's how she'd ended up here though. She knew she needed to get far away and France, thanks to the Hunchback of Notre-Dame, was the first place she thought of. She thought of it and she was there.

Despite her family trying to learn her how to control the power that flowed through her veins, she still had only tapped the surface on what she could do and how to control it. It scared and overwhelmed her. It especially scared her how easily she lost control completely. It would only take a little anger and Lily was no longer rational or pragmatic. Not to mention that it didn't take much to elicit anger from her at that. 

She had good intentions by leaving, trying to keep good people safe but she hadn't thought it through properly. She had no idea what to do or where to go. She didn't have someone to guide her or show her the way. 

Lily had learnt a lot since she was born. She'd read a lot of the books and Gabriel and the Internet had been a good tutor for her. She learnt a lot and fast. Gabriel had said that because she was a nephilim, her memory worked different than a regular human's. He'd explained that Lily would be able to pick up and excel at things like language, talents and general intellect much quicker than other people. He'd even gone on to teach Lily how she could just "make herself know things". Like a click of a button and the information would be installed into her brain. Sometime's Lily did that but she liked to learn, so mostly she had just read and read and anything she did read, stuck. Considering her only activities so far had been Gabriel, Chuck and Amara teaching her, she'd spend a lot of time in the bunker reading. Which meant she knew a lot. Probably more than most people who were actually 18 years old rather than just looking like it. 

Despite the knowledge she had, there were certain things that couldn't be learnt. Like how to survive alone. Lily could read all the books in the world but you couldn't learn real life experiences. They had to be experienced and Lily wasn't sure she could make it on her own. Sure, she was pretty confident she could look after herself but she didn't know where she was supposed to live or how to keep herself away from people and avoid hurting them. For the first time since she had been born, Lily felt truly lonely. 

Sighing and making leave from the quaint cafe, Lily decided to find somewhere to stay for the night. She didn't have to wait long before she came across a B&B. Lily had no money but she knew enough about her abilities to make sure that wouldn't be a problem. She flew into a room she could tell was unoccupied and once in the room, she made she the door wouldn't be openable. Anyone's attempts at forcing their way in would alert Lily and she could get out of there. Next she worked on protecting the room. She'd read enough of the books from the bunker's library to know how to ward herself from the prying eye's of angel's and demon's. 

Satisfied, Lily sat on the bed, trying to push down the guilt and loneliness she felt. But she wasn't alone for long. Some of the symbols she'd drawn on the walls of her room began to glow orange before fading completely. 

Lily panicked. This wasn't supposed to happen. 

"Hi Lily", spoke a soft voice. 

Lucifer. He was sporting a new vessel but something about it seemed familiar. Lily remembered it from Sam's nightmare's. 

"Get out!", seethed Lily.

"Please, Lily! I just want to help you. Those idiot hunter's and my little brother poisoned you against me but I'm not what they say I am", pleaded Lucifer.

"They didn't need to poison me against you! You killed my mother! Every time I saw you, you were hurting someone" exclaimed Lily.

"I'm sorry about your mom, I really am but she kept you from me and got Gabriel involved. With her around, I'd never get a chance to be your father. I did what I thought I had too but I see now that it hurt you and I'm sorry for it", explained Lucifer, hands up in surrender.

"You're evil. If I stay with you, I'll be like you", faltered Lily.

"I'm not evil. I made mistakes but I'm not evil. Haven't you made mistake's sweetheart? We all do but I'm not all bad. I know you're angry and lonely and I know just how that feels. My Dad, Amara and Gabriel have been trying to help you to control it but they're can't understand what it's like for us but I do. I can help you control it. To become stronger and more powerful", told Lucifer.

"I don't want to be more powerful. I just want to be normal. I just, I don't want to hurt anyone" whispered Lily.

"You don't have to, I can show how to use your power for what you want to do. I don't want to hurt you, I just want to help you. You're all alone and I can tell your scared but you don't have to be", bargained Lucifer.

"If I come with...You won't hurt them?" questioned Lily.

"Them?" asked Lucifer.

"Gabriel, Sam, Dean, Cas, Mary, Chuck and Amara. You won't hurt them?" asked Lily.

"Okay, I won't lay a finger on them", smiled Lucifer and Lucifer wouldn't, unless the Winchester's came knocking that is. If they brought trouble to him, he'd swipe them out like a bug but he left that part out to Lily.

Lily considered it. Lucifer was being uncharacteristically gentle. From the images she'd seen in Sam's dreams and the few times she had seen her father, Lucifer was anything but gentle. Lily wondered if this fatherly concern was genuine or a ploy to manipulate her. She had her reservations but truthfully, Lily yearned for a relationship with her dad. She hated herself for it, for wanting to know the person that killed her mom but she did want to know him. She wanted a parent. Gabriel was great. As were the rest of the guys but Lily was an orphan and with her dad right there in front of her, offering to look after her, she couldn't refuse. 

"Okay, I'll come with you", agreed Lily apprehensively.

* * *

"Do you think all of British Men of Letter's are like the one's we've met?" wondered Sam to Dean. 

Chuck and Amara had left with the promise of returning with Lily. Whilst they waited for that, they'd decided to tackle the Men of Letter's problem. They'd targeted Sam twice which instantly put them high on Dean's "to kill slowly and painfully" list and after Lily had killed Ketch, there was no doubt that it wouldn't be the last they'd see of them. 

"I don't know but I'm guessing they're probably not cute and cuddly, Sam. They're ruthless and cold, you know that better than any of us. I think we should wipe them out", suggested Dean.

"Wipe them out? Dean they're a whole organisation of people. Who know's how many people they have and they're not based in our neck of the woods. Wouldn't it be better to try and stay out of their way", reasoned Sam.

"Hell no, I'm not going to pander to those pompous dick's and walk around looking over my shoulder for some psycho Michael Cane wannabe to kidnap me and fill me full of loopy juice", argued Dean. 

Sam was prepared to retort but was interrupted by the appearance of Chuck and Amara. Sam vaguely noted how weird his life was that God and his sister turning up at their home wasn't shocking news but the thought was brief as Sam quickly noticed that Lily wasn't with them.

"Where's Lily" asked Gabriel with panicked eye's.

"She's...she's with Lucifer", admitted Chuck.

"What?! Lucifer took her? Why didn't you take her back? Is she hurt?", rushed Gabriel.

"I didn't bring her back because she wasn't taken. I made it so Lucifer couldn't forcefully take her but he didn't, she went willingly. She wants to be with her Father", stated Chuck. 

"No, she hates him", mumbled Gabriel in disbelief.

"What kid doesn't hate their parents? Still her Dad", stated Dean. 

"What does this mean? What do we do?" Wondered Sam. 

"Maybe it's time we hunt her", suggested Dean regretfully.

"Dean, no. This is Lily were talking about. The kid who's been living with us for weeks. She's not evil", insisted Sam. 

"Sam, she's chose to go with Lucifer. She's gone to the dark side. She knows what he's done and still chose to follow him. He's the man who killed her mom!", argued Dean.

"He's also her Dad and Lily's just a kid. She's probably scared and overwhelmed and we all know how manipulative and convincing Lucifer can be. It's not her fault. We should try and get through to her. Get her to come back to the bunker", said Sam. 

"There's no use in aruing Dean-o. There's no room for discussion. You're not touching a hair on my niece's head", Gabriel's tone was it's usual jovial self but his eye's told a different story. Hard and cold as they bore into Dean, letting him now this was something he couldn't win. 

"Fine, we get her back. How do you suggest we do that without getting ourselves killed?" Moaned Dean. 

"I'll help. I'll make sure Lucifer hurts no one as we talk to Lily", offered Chuck. 

"This sounds like a stupid idea", complained Dean.

"Since when have any of our plans sounded like good idea's", asked Sam with a small smile. 

"True. Fine let's do this. Where are Lily and Lucifer", questioned Dean. 

"France", stated Chuck. 

* * *

The residents in the bunker were getting prepared for the surprise trip to France. To Dean, the whole idea sucked but he was just secretly relieved there'd be no planes involved considering Chuck would use his mojo to get them there. 

Sam was in his room, putting his weapons in a bag. He didn't think they'd be useful and Chuck was going to handle Lucifer anyway but it didn't hurt to be prepared.

"Knock knock", announced Gabriel in Sam's doorway. 

"Hey", greeted Sam.

"So, thanks for backing me up over Lily. I wasn't sure if you'd be on Lily's bandwagon after the incident with Dean", stated Gabriel.

"You mean Dean dying? It scared the hell out of me but I don't blame Lily", replied Sam. 

"No?" questioned Gabriel.

"No. She's a kid and we dragged her into it knowing she doesn't have complete control over her power. It was an accident waiting to happen. I never should have agreed to it", explained Sam. 

"Well I wouldnt give yourself all the credit, Sammy. It was a group decision and you weren't all that enthusiastic about it in the first place", smiled Gabriel.

"Gabriel, what are we going to do about Lily? When she's back? How do we stop her from hurting people? I meant what I said about not blaming her, I don't. She's a good kid and she didn't mean to hurt any of us but she couldn't help it and that could be a big problem. If she meant to do it, it would things a lot simpler but she doesn't. She's not in control", asked Sam. 

"I don't know", admitted Gabriel, "if things were different, Lucifer would probably be useful in this situation".

"What do you mean?" frowned Sam.

"She's Lucifer's daughter and her power has come from him. She's kind of like him too but before he became the "devil". I think he'd be able to learn her how not to lose control", explained Gabriel.

"Maybe he'd learn her to control it but he'd also brainwash her into something twisted", objected Sam. 

"I know, I'm not suggesting we let Luci take the wheel. I was just saying", defended Gabriel, "You know, you can sit this one out if you need to?"

"What? Because I'm a liability and you think I'm going to turn into snivelling wreck at the sight of Lucifer?", snapped Sam.

"Geez, someone got up on the wrong side of bed this morning. I only meant that if you didn't want to, that it was okay. You've had a lot of crap coming at you from all directions. I was just saying that we could handle it if you needed some R&R", Huffed Gabriel.

"Sorry, I just...I'm tired is all. I'm fine to come with you guys", apologized Sam.

"Hey you two ready?", asked Dean as he peered round Sam's doorway. 

"Yeah, all set", nodded Sam.

"Right, let's go get my niece back"

 


	14. No Man's Land

_Headin' in or headin' out_   
_Standing on the shore_   
_Pause a moment to reflect wh_ _ich trip costs you more_

_Between the ever restless crowds a_ _nd the silence of your room_   
_Spend an hour in no man's land_   
_You'll be leaving soon_   
  
_Victims come and victims go_   
_There's always lots to spare_   
_One victim lives the tragedy_   
_One victim stops to stare_   
  
_And still another walks on by_   
_Pretending not to see_   
_They're all out there in no man's land_   
_Cause it's the safest place to be_

_\- No Man's Land, Bob Seger_

* * *

 

Chuck had used his mojo and transported the group to France. They landed abruptly in front of what looked like an old factory. Not exactly a tourist trap but effective in keeping out of the way.

"So, they're here?" questioned Dean.

"Yeah, they're inside and I'm sure by now they are aware that we're here, so lets go", instructed Chuck.

Sam, Dean, Cas, Gabriel, Chuck, Amara and Mary all entered the hallow factory and Lucifer was there and waiting.

"Aw, if it isn't Dad and auntie Amara along with my little bro's Gabriel and Cas. This is quite the family reunion, but the Winchester's are sort of crashing. I guess Sam could stay, I mean he is my one true vessel and after all of the cosy years we spent together in the cage, we're practically family but the other two have got to go", smirked Lucifer.

Lucifer was wearing his old vessel, Nick. The devil was the devil and it didn't matter what vessel he wore, Sam could never forget who he was and his presence always shook Sam but there was something about this particular vessel that sent chills through Sam. Something about it that affected him even more than usual. Perhaps it was because Lucifer tended to choose this form when he was vessel-less. When his true self was revealed in the cage and he was no longer possessing Sam, he seemed to be sentimental about this vessel and would wear his face to torture him when he wasn't masquerading as a member of Sam's family. Maybe it was because it was the way he saw Lucifer when he was hallucinating. Whatever it was, Sam's cool and fearless demeanor wavered a little at the mention of the cage and at seeing him wearing Nick again but he soon recovered it and no one beside's Dean would be able to tell how absolutely terrified the kid still was of the bastard. However, Dean did notice. He always noticed the things no one else would when it came to Sam and his jaw clenched and it took his willpower not to plunge a knife into Lucifer's chest repeatedly. Dean knew it would barely touch him but it would sure make him feel better. 

"Dean, I'm sensing a little hostility", smirked Lucifer.

Before Dean could retort, Gabriel chimed in. "We're here for Lily, brother", stated Gabriel with a steel gaze.

"Well it's always good to put the effort in but I'm afraid that's not going to happen. Lily's my kid. She chose to come with me", seethed Lucifer, "Haven't you done enough, dad? You walk out on us, again after pretending to be the father of the year and making amends? And now, you're trying to take my daughter away from me? You weren't ever sorry but I'm over it. I'm going to do things differently, I'm going to be a hands on dad".

"Do you think I want to do this? I don't, son. But Lily is so young and impressionable. She has an abundance of power and ultimately, she's good. I can't let you make her hateful", said Chuck.

"Say's the guy who invented wrath. You always were hypocritical", spat Lucifer.

"Okay, can we skip the histrionics and family drama and do what we came here to do?" interrupted Dean.

"Where's Lily?" demanded Gabriel.

"I'm here", announced Lily as she appeared through a door.

"Lily, what are you doing? You know what he's done" questioned Dean.

"I know. He's done bad things. Really bad but I can't stay with you guys. I hurt you. I don't want to hurt you but I can't do this on my own either and he's...he's my dad. He's my family and even though there's a whole lot of bad in there...I think maybe there could be some good too", stated Lily quietly. 

"Kid, there isn't. I get it, I do. He's your dad. When my dad was around, it didn't matter what mistakes he made, I would have followed him of the edge of a cliff but just because someone's family, it doesn't necessarily mean that you should follow them. I know you want to see something good in him but there isn't anything good there. Maybe there was, once but not anymore. He's evil kid and he's going to manipulate you into turning out just like him", insisted Dean.

"Sweetheart, I get that you don't want to hurt anyone but going with your dad is not the way to make sure that doesn't happen. We can help you but you need to come with us. You're part of our family, Lil", pleaded Gabriel.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know who I should be or where I should go..", whimpered Lily as a tear rolled down her face.

"Hey, sweetie, it's okay. I'm always going to be here for you", smiled Gabriel.

"They're messing with your head, Lily. I'm your dad. You're family. You've felt it since you came with me. We're meant to be a family" insisted Lucifer.

"Lily, I'm not going to pretend I know what it feels like to have gone through what you have, because I don't. But I think I sorta get it. When I was a baby, a demon fed me their blood. Growing up I knew there was something, that I was different. It scared the crap out of me and when my family found out, it scared the crap out of them too. I didn't want to hurt anyone or scare anyone and I tried so hard for so long to repress it and make sure that I was good but in the end, I made all the wrong decisions and caused a lot of bad things to happen. All that I'm saying is, sometimes the thing that feels like the right thing, isn't always the right thing. I get where you're coming from, I do. You think that leaving will protect us and that going with your dad is the answer but just 'cause it feels that way doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. All of the mistakes that I made seemed like the right thing to do at the time, too. I don't want to tell you what to do because it sucks to have everyone around you claiming to know what's best for you but I'm just letting you know that this isn't your only option. We can figure this out", offered Sam softly.  

Lily gazed at Sam for a while, considering his words. 

"Okay. I'll come back to the bunker with", agreed Lily.

"But Lil...", started Lucifer. 

"But, I still want to see my dad. I know he's done unimaginable and unforgivable things but he's still my dad. I don't have to like who he is or what he's done but he's still my family and I...I wanna see him. I'm not saying that he should come to the bunker and hang out but I want to see him sometimes, maybe granddad could bring me", bargained Lily. 

None of them looked happy about the arrangement but it was better than losing Lily to Lucifer, completely.

"Fine. Supervised access"? Agreed Gabriel reluctantly.

"Really? Who died and made you the angelic CPS?" Snorted Lucifer. 

"Take it or leave it. Once a week, Chuck, Amara or I will bring Lily to see you and stay there during the visit" stated Gabriel.

"Lily, don't do this. Can't you see what they're doing already? They're coming between us", told Lucifer.

"No, this is what I want and if you're serious about wanting to be my dad, you'll agree to this", said Lily.

Lucifer looked mighty pissed but with Chuck around, he knew that he couldn't hurt anyone and doing so would drive Lily away completely.

"Fine", gritted Lucifer.

"Okay, so Thursdays. We'll bring Lily to see you. We'll meet you somewhere in America this time", sighed Gabriel. 

Lucifer nodded and Chuck sent everyone, including Lily back to the bunker. 

* * *

Lily settled back into the bunker. No one was really happy at the kids insistence at remaining in contact with Lucifer but they did get it and there wasn't much they could do about it. 

"So, now what are we supposed to do? We had a plan, first one we got in a while. We were going to send Lucifer back in his cage but now you've agreed to give him access to his damn kid", moaned Dean. 

Chuck and Amara had left. Lily was in her room and Mary had taken a call from some hunter buddies who needed her help with a vamps nest. Sam and Dean offered to lend a hand but they and Mary both knew they were needed at home, so she had gone on the hunt alone. That left, Sam, Dean, Cas and Gabriel sitting around the table in the war room, drinking scotch and talking about what had gone down. 

"Dean what was I supposed to do?", asked Gabriel, exasperated.

"Well I still don't think this changes anything. Just because he's a dad now, it isn't going to change his overwhelming desire to freaking wipe out large groups of people. I say, we still go through with the plan to put him in the cage. Lily will understand eventually", suggested Dean.

"No she won't and we can't lose her trust, Dean. I know you guys have only ever seen the real, real bad side of him but I saw the other side of Lucifer, before he was the devil. I think he's capable of love and that I think he actually cares about Lily. I'm not saying it's going to suddenly turn him into a pacifist but she could be enough to stop him from slaughtering people", said Gabriel.

"Really? You really believe that? 'Cause I think he cares about Lily's power, not her. I mean, you're his brother for God's sake and he KILLED you", argued Dean.

"Stop! I know this is really important and we need to figure it out but can we please just not talk about it for one day? Tomorrow, talk away but can we just leave it for tonight?" Asked Sam as his voice cracked.

"Of course. Sam is right, we are not going to find a solution today so we should try to relax" agreed Cas as he glanced worriedly at Sam. 

"Thanks", mumbled Sam. Sam grabbed the scotch and poured himself a drink, downing it in one and pouring himself another.

"You okay Sammy? You're giving me a run for my money with that scotch", laughed Dean but the concern was obvious. 

"Yeah, fine. I'm going to go take a shower", told Sam as he left the room. 

"Well he's definitely not good", observed Gabriel.

"His minds still all messed up after the whole thing with Ketch and seeing him...Being around Lucifer is never going to be fun for Sam but I think seeing him in that vessel brought back a whole load of crappy memories from 6 or 7 years ago", explained Dean. 

"It was strange seeing Lucifer in that vessel", agreed Cas sympathetically. 

"I'm going to go talk to him", stated Dean has he left the angel's in the war room. 

"Sammy?" Called Dean in the hallway. He couldn't here the shower running so he made his way to Sam's room. 

As he pushed the door open, he saw his little brother, legs splayed out in front of him and hands brought up to grip his head. His face was scrunched in pain. 

"Sam!", yelled Dean as knelt by his brother.

"Sammy, c'mom. Tell me what's up", pleaded Dean but whatever was happening with Sam seemed to get worse. His hands furiously clung to his hair as grunts and cries of pain escaped Sam's lips. Cas and Gabriel were there instantly, joining Dean.

"What the hell's wrong with him?" Demanded Dean. 

"He's having a vision"

* * *

The vision seemed to go on forever. Time ticked by as Dean could do nothing but watch his brother struggle through his newly returned visions. Sam seemed to become less rigid and Dean hoped it was over. 

Sam's glassy eye's found Dean's as he seemed to be back with them. Sam stood abruptly with Dean supporting him. 

"You okay, Sam?" Asked Dean. 

Sam looked at Dean blankly as a trickle of blood leaked from Sam's nose and soon after, Sam collapsed. Dean was there, like always, to catch his (not so little) little brother. Making sure Sam didn't hit the floor, Dean clung to Sam's shirt and held his giant brother upright.

"Little help over here, guys", groaned Dean as Sam's entire body weight was limp in his arms. Gabriel and Cas jumped in, easily manouvering Sam onto his bed. 

"Is he okay?" Asked Dean. 

"Yeah, the vision just took it out of him", reassured Gabriel.

"Thought as much. When this first started happening, it started of slow. It would just be dreams and then it built up. If he did something more intense, it would take it out of him. Nose bleeds, migraines, you name it. He hasn't had any of this psychic mojo for a long time and to just go straight back into having intense visions obviously isn't doing him any good. Vision never seemed to make him this bad though. Only ever saw him like this when he was exorcising demon's and crap", explained Dean with concern.

"Yeah well, a lot's happened since then. Sam's been through the ringer lately", reminded Gabriel.

Sam grunted and started to stir.

"Ready to join the land of the living, Sammy?" Smiled Dean.

"Ugh, not so loud. Head hurts", moaned Sam.

Sam slowly got up, squeezing his forehead to ease the throbbing migraine.

"May I?" Asked Gabriel as he offered his hand to heal Sam's headache. 

"Sure", agreed Sam carefully. 

Gabriel eased Sam's pain and he visibly relaxed.

"Sam, what was your vision about?" Wondered Cas.

"Me. It was about me. I'm going to die"

* * *

"What the hell are you talking about?" Demanded Dean.

"The vision was about my death. And other things. It was so vivid and detailed. It's the British Men of Letter's. They send a load of them over here and long story, short...I die", stated Sam.

"We won't let that happen", insisted Cas. 

"Cas is right. No one is dying...except anyone who tries to lay a finger on you!", exclaimed Dean, "did you see anything else?".

"Things are different in Britain. The hunting world is much more structured and business like and the British Men of Letter's are at the top of all that. It's as much about power for them as it is, hunting. And in my vision I saw that they want to take over in America. They want to become the big wigs in the American hunting/supernatural circuit. They're are pretty effective but they don't wait around to check if the monster of the week is actually evil or not, they kill without question. They kill innocent people. Innocent people like Magda. They want to get hunters on side that'll work for them but soon they're going to stop asking nicely and turn this thing into a, sort of hunter dictatorship. They won't be shy of killing people if it's convenient to them. In the vision, a lot of their members were over here and we were fighting them. Not just us, there were other hunter's helping us. I got killed in the fight", explained Sam.

"Okay...okay. We can work with this. Just because it's a vision, it doesn't mean it's going to happen. You had visions in the past that we stopped from happening, remember?" Rationalized Dean. 

"Exactly, the future isn't set in stone. We'll figure it out" agreed Gabriel.

"Guys, I think we have bigger problems than me dying. The British Men of Letter's are a threat and they're going to come over here and hurt a lot of people. We need to concentrate on figuring that out", argued Sam.

"We'll figure it all out. You have both saved the world on several occasions. You stopped the devil and God's sister from destroying everything. You have achieved the impossible, this, we can handle", reassured Cas.

* * *

Gabriel had left with Lily and Chuck to visit Lucifer. Dean and Cas had gone to pay a visit to some hunters. They'd decided that with the threat of the British Men of Letter's looming, they would need allies. Mary had informed them of a small group of hunters who were working together on a big case just a couple of hours away. Among the group of huntet's were the twins they'd met at Asa's funeral. Max and Alicia Bane's. They seemed like capable hunter's and their knowledge of witchcraft would be useful.

Dean had suggested, with everyone else out, that Sam, Dean and Cas should all go to meet the hunter's but Sam had managed to convince Dean to let him stay at the bunker. Getting Dean to agree to that was a miracle in itself considering his ever present mother hen routine but getting him to agree to stay at the bunker alone was a whole other thing. Sam had convinced Dean that he needed to rest after his vision and had also pointed out that not every hunter they met were fans of his after the failed apocalypse of '09. 

Dean had given in, wanting his brother to get some down time after everything that had gone on recently and Sam was relieved. He knew if he were to do what he planned on doing, he'd need to be alone. There's no way he'd get away with it if his brother and the angel's were around. 

The truth was, Sam hadn't been completely truthful about his vision. Well he had been truthful...Everything he'd told Dean he'd seen, he had seen but he hadn't told him _everything_.

After all that had happened, Sam and Dean had come to realize that nothing good came from keeping secrets from each other but Sam didn't have a choice. 

In the vision, Sam hadn't died at the hands of the Men of Letter's, he'd been controlled by them. 

In the vision Sam's psychic abilities had grown far beyond visions and Sam knew there was only way that could happen. Demon blood. Sam hadn't thought about his past addiction for a long time. Hadn't felt the temptation for a long time. But to hold the kind of abilities he'd seen in his vision, he'd have to have drank it. He couldn't imagine ever doing that again but maybe he hadn't been given a choice. In the vision, the British Men of Letter's were controlling him. Using his abilities to their advantage. He was causing destruction. 

He didn't quite know how they were doing it. The vision hadn't given him all the details but Sam had noticed a small unfamiliar device, that had been lodged in his neck. It had been like some sort of needle embedded in his neck, which was attached to small cylinder. Sam didn't know how it worked. Whether it was some sort of spell work or machine but he did guess it had something to do with how the British Men of Letter's were controlling him and getting him to attack his own people. 

Sam had told the truth when he said that he'd gotten killed in the fight. He had, just not at the hands of the British Men of Letter's. Dean and Cas had tried to get through to him but it hadn't worked. Sam saw himself about to kill his own brother. He was going to kill Dean because the BMoL had told him too. He'd already killed Mary in the fight. They weren't left with any other choice. So Cas had done the only thing he could. Sam had killed many hunters in the fight because of the British Men of Letter's and he would continue to kill more. Kill Dean. Cas didn't have any other option. So much to his own and Dean's dismay, he'd stabbed Sam with an angel blade. 

Cas hadn't stabbed to kill but whatever the British Men of Letter's had done to Sam, must have left him weaker and he had died. 

That was where the vision faded but if this vision came to be, Sam could fill in the end of this story. If his family survived and defeated the BMOL, everything would fall apart. Dean would need Cas if he and Mary were gone but knowing Dean, he'd shut Cas out. Refuse to forgive Cas for killing Sam, like he had too. Dean would have no one and a Dean with nothing to lose, meant a reckless Dean. 

He'd probably get himself killed in some stupid suicide mission, taking on 50 vamps alone or something. Sam couldn't let that happen. Not to mention that he couldn't allow the British Men of Letter's to gain control over him and hurt lots of innocent people and as for the demon blood...Sam couldn't do that again. So almost instantly after the vision had ended, Sam had begun planning what he should do and avoided telling Dean the whole truth. 

Sam had thought it through. As long as he was on Earth, the BMoL could get to him. That had already proved that more than once. They had resources and Sam knew he couldn't just hide and hope to stay out of the way. He needed to be proactive. For his family. 

So as soon as his family had left he'd gotten to it. He'd written a note for Dean. Explaining everything. Giving him all the details so he could understand and go into this with both eye's open. Then Sam had made a phone call. There was someone who could help and now he just had to wait for them.

"I'm guessing this isn't a social call considering you only ever get in touch when you want something so spit it out? Is someone trying to end the world again?"

"No but I do need help. I need your help, Crowley"

* * *

Dean was driving his baby along the asphalt. AC/DC was blaring and Dean felt the kind of freedom that only the impala could bring him. Cas was in the passenger seat, happy that he got to ride shotgun for once. He had a satisfied grin on his face. For an angel who'd been alive since pretty much forever, Cas seemed like an excitable 5 year old who'd been allowed to sit in the big boy seat, right now. 

Dean chuckled to himself. The only thing missing from this scene was Sam. If he was here, everything would be perfect but he was glad Sam was getting some much needed rest. Sammy was burnt out and Dean knew it. He couldn't function properly with all that was weighing him down but he just needed a little rest and some support and he'd be okay. Dean avoided talking about their feelings. Never wanting to break his "no chick flick moments' rule, unless one of them was on the brink of death but his baby brother was at the end of his rope and if mushy moments were what he needed, Dean would oblige. 

A lot was going on right now. Their lives only seemed to get more and more complicated. With Lily, the British Men of Letter's and Lucifer causing concern, they had their plates full. Right now, Dean wasn't going to think about that. Right now he was concentrating on the open road and thinking of ways to perk Sam up. 

Just as Dean was considering just how risky it would be to reignite his and Sam's prank war, another figure appeared in the back of baby. 

"Jesus Christ!" Yelled Dean as he swerved the impala and then regained control.

"No, sorry not your guy. I did meet him though", smirked Gabriel. 

"Son of a bitch! Can't you warn a guy before appearing in the back of his car?", exclaimed Dean.

Gabriel's face turned serious.

"Lily's gone"

"What?! How hard is it for 3 all powerful being's to keep hold of a damned kid?!", yelled Dean.

"Harder than it looks. Especially when she doesn't want to be kept hold off", Retorted Gabriel.

"What do you mean?" Questioned Cas. 

"She went with Lucifer. Willingly. Again", admitted Gabriel.

"I don't get it. Why agree to come back home to us, just to sneed of back to him?" Asked Dean.

"I don't know...I don't think it's a coincidence though. I think something more is going on", stated Gabriel quietly.

"What do you mean, something's going on? As in the 'working with Lucifer' kind of something going on?" Frowned Dean.

"I don't know. I really don't know", admitted Gabriel.

* * *

"So, that's pretty much everything", ended Sam. Sam told Crowley everything. All of the details from his vision. The things he'd told Dean and the things he hadn't. 

"Fine. So what do you want me to do about it?", asked Crowley.

"Well, I was thinking of a way to take myself out of the picture. I can't stop the British Men of Letter's from coming here but I can stop them from pumping me full of demon's blood and using me as some sort of weapon of mass destruction. I can stop them from making me hurt my family" said Sam.

"And let me guess, you've got a plan but you need my help to do it?" Added Crowley.

"Yeah. I was thinking about how to hide from them and I can't. At least not on Earth. They have resources and they've found me twice before. I'm sure they have contacts everywhere but human contacts. They're not the type to make friends with demon's. They kill anyone supernatural whether they've done something or not and most of them don't like to get their hands dirty, they save that for the hunter's they employ. But even then, I'm pretty sure their hunters will only go so far...", explained Sam.

"What are you getting at?" interrupted Crowley.

"I want you to send me to hell. They won't be able to get to me there. I can stay down there as long as it takes and when it's over with, when the threat is over, you let me back out", bargained Sam. 

"Hell isn't some weekend retreat that you can come and go as you please, moose! You can't just walk in and walk out!" Declared Crowley. 

"You can. That's why I need your help", told Sam. 

"Why would I even do this?" Questioned Crowley. 

"Because there's something in it for you too. Trust me when I say it's in your interest that the British Men of Letter's are dealt with. We might not be the best of buddie's but most of the time we live in a mutual existence of staying out of each other's way until there's a major threat to deal with. The British Men of Letter's won't be willing to ignore you. They'll kill you and any other demon they can get their hands on. It'll be difficult for you to be king if you're dead Crowley. Beside's, are you really going to tell me that you wouldn't love to throw me back in hell?" Asked Sam.

"True...But you of all people should know that hell is no picnic, you really want to go back there?" Questioned Crowley.

"I'm not asking you to put me back in the cage, I just need you to let me crash there until this is over", explained Sam. 

"Fine. Is that it?" Agreed Crowley. 

"I also want you to make sure no one can get to me. No British Men of Letter's. No Dean. No Gabriel or Cas. They can't get me out. I need to stay there until after all of this is over. Plus, I want you to help them too", added Sam.

"Again why would I do that?" Frowned Crowley.

"Because I've seen how you've change over the years. I was in the that church with you. As much as you hate it, I know that very VERY deep down, you do have a heart. You care. You've saved Dean and Cas in the past. I think you want to help and like I say, it's in your interest too", reminded Sam.

Crowley thought it over, "Fine. I'll put you in a cell in my most secure part of hell, beside's the cage obviously. Don't worry I'll make sure to tell my torturers to skip your cell on their rounds. I'll protect the cell. Ward it from everyone. Human's, angel's and what have you. I'll check in on you and also help squirrel with those glorified librarians", sighed Crowley.

"Thank you Crowley".

* * *

 

Dean, Cas and Gabriel made their way to the bunker.

"So you're telling me that Chuck, God himself, can't find them?" Doubted Dean.

"Chuck may be God but Lucifer is Lucifer. Even he won't be able to hide forever but if anyone can hide from dad for even a short amount of time, it's Luci. But dad and Amara are looking for them. We'll figure out what's going on, Dean", reassured Gabriel as they got to the door of the bunker. 

"Fine" sighed Dean. Dean was really getting tired of this cat and mouse crap. 

"Sammy?", called Dean, "Sam?!".

"He's not here", informed Crowley who had apparently helped himself to a glass of whiskey.

"Crowley? What are you talking about?" Queried Dean. 

"Sam is not here. He called me to help him. He's in hell", stated Crowley.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Implored Dean.

Crowley pulled an envelope out of his jacket and swiped it across the table to Dean. It was addressed to Dean and he knew it was Sam's handwriting. He urgently ripped it open and started to read. He read everything, from the full extent of his vision to his plan.

Cas and Gabriel watched Dean carefully as he read the note. About a hundred emotions passed over his face.

"Sammy you stupid, stupid son of a bitch!" Growled Dean.

"What Dean? What's wrong?" Asked Cas. Dean passed the note over and Cas and Gabriel read it.

"Oh sam", sighed Cas.

"What the hell was he thinking?! Not telling me about what he saw and taking it upon himself to decide that the answer was to go to hell? I knew I shouldn't have left him! His minds all mashed still, he isn't thinking straight. You need to bring him back Crowley!" Ordered Dean. 

"A deal is a deal Dean. I told him I'd get him there and make sure no one could get him out beside's me. He's deep down there and I've warded where he's staying but don't worry. He will not be tortured", explained Crowley with a roll of his eye's.

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel so much better! Awesome", spat Dean. 

"What was he thinking?!" Exclaimed Gabriel.

"He wasn't thinking! I swear when I get that kid back, I'm going to kick his ass into next year", grumbled Dean.

"I believe Moose was thinking that he was protecting you and the other people he'd go onto to kill if his vision came to be", added Crowley. 

"We would have found another way. We will find another way. We'll get Sam's ass back home and figure out a less stupid plan" stated Dean.

"You're not getting in there, Dean. You're best bet is to fix your problem with the British Men of Letter's as soon as possible and I'll return Sam safe and sound", reasoned Crowley. 

"So Lily is off with daddy dearest and my brother is taking a long weekend in the sunny paradise of hell? Anything else the universe wants to throw at us?!" Moaned Dean  

"Well if Sam's vision is right, we have the Brit's invasion to worry about too", added Gabriel. 

"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me", said Dean sarcastically.

"We'll if that's it, I'll be off. Call me when you're ready to take on the British Men of Letter's", announced Crowley before disappearing. 

"So, what's the plan?" Asked Gabriel.

"Firstly, we get Sam back and if Crowley won't help us, we'll find a demon who will", stated Dean. 

* * *

 


	15. No Hiding Place

_Every time I've run away from you_

  
_You searched me out and found me_

  
_I build a wall, surround myself_

  
_You've found a way around it_

  
_Everywhere I go into this big old world_

  
_You're just one step behind me_

  
_I turn around and there you are, ready to remind me_

_\- No Hiding Place, Foreigner_

* * *

 

"So is there any other demon's that you know in hell, that'd be willing to help you?" asked Mary.

Dean had called Mary and filled her in and she'd drove back to the bunker in record time. They were waiting on word from Chuck about Lily, so right now they were focusing all of their attention on getting Sam the hell out of hell.

"Most demon's we've come in contact with are dead. If there are any demon's we know down there, it's likely that we're the one's who sent them there", sighed Dean.

"Dean is right. Meg helped us but she was killed", added Cas.

"Yeah and Ruby told us how to make new bullets for the cult but then she manipulated my brother and we killed her too. The only demon we know who's been willing to help us is Crowley but now he isn't playing ball", complained Dean.

"Are you sure that an angel couldn't get through? Cas rescued you and Sam from hell in the past, right?" questioned Mary.

"That is true but the deal Sam made with Crowley, specifically entailed that no human or angel could rescue him. We don't know where Crowley is keeping him and it's obviously going to be warded. Demon's that are already in hell should be able to find him, getting Sam out would be a different story but still, a demon would be our best bet", explained Cas.

"Crowley said that Sam wasn't going to be hurt, no torture, at least that's something", noted Gabriel.

"That doesn't really make me feel any better. Crowley say's he'll order his minions to stay away from Sam but that doesn't mean they will. Not all demon's listen to Crowley. Even if he did get left alone, Sam spent centuries in Hell with Lucifer...His head was already freaking messed up, what's it gonna be like after a stint in hell with all the memories from the cage to keep him warm? What if...", Dean's voice broke a little.

"What if what?" asked Gabriel.

"What if he's not the same? Sam's always been one of the toughest guy's I've ever known. I thought he could handle pretty much any thing after the cage. No one could get through that but he did and I thought nothing could knock him down...but it turns out, it's all just been tearing at him piece by piece and I'm scared that after this...there may not be enough piece's left to fix him...we might not get him back", admitted Dean quietly.

"Hey, just because Sam was struggling, doesn't mean that he's not strong. He's still just a strong and capable as he's always been, as you always thought that he was. He chose this Dean, chose it to stop those bastard Men of Letter's. He'll be fine in hell. If beating the British Men of Letter's is what we have to do to get Sam home then that's what we're going to do", insisted Gabriel.

* * *

Sam sat in a decent sized 'cell' in the depths of hell. Sam was actual surprised by how accommodating Crowley had been. Sam was expecting to be staying in the kind of cell he'd found Bobby in when Sam had collected his soul from hell but this was much more comfortable. There were other prisoner's in this particular unit of hell. It was the place where Crowley kept the demon's and souls that he really didn't want getting out. It was deep in the pits of this place, grungy and humid with the smell of sulfur almost unbearably prominent. The state of the place was grotty and Sam hadn't expected any different but Crowley had made the cell he'd be staying in considerably more comfortable than the other's in hell. For one, it was larger and there was a decent sized cot in it. 

There was a fold up desk with books and paper to write on. There was even a small TV in there which surprisingly had great signal. A trunk full of clothes were also provided for Sam. 

"So settled in?" Asked Crowley who'd only just reappeared. He'd brought Sam to hell and returned back to the bunker to talk to Dean but evidently, he was back.

"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised. I didn't expect you to make things comfortable for me", admitted Sam raising an eyebrow. 

"Well if you're going to be snarky, I can take it away and let you sleep on the floor", snipped Crowley.

"I wasn't being snarky, what I meant was thank you", sighed Sam.

"Yeah, well, don't flatter yourself. That brother of yours will have my guts for garters if you're so much as slightly uncomfortable in this place", stated Crowley.

"You're scared of Dean?" grinned Sam.

"Scared? No. But I'm not stupid enough to underestimate him either", corrected Crowley.

"Fair enough, so, I just stay in here?" asked Crowley.

"Yes, I'll check in and when we know the British Men of Letter's are no longer a threat, I'll deliver you right back to that drabby bunker of yours. Don't worry about the screaming, this is hell after all, people are being tortured. I'll make sure my demon's deliver food that's sufficient enough for a moose. Now, I have to go. Places to be, deals to make and all that", finished Crowley before he vanished once again.

"Great", Sam sighed to himself. Sam wasn't a snob. The digs Crowley had set up weren't half bad and a luxury compared to some of the crap holes he and Dean had been forced to sleep in, in the past but the conditions weren't really the issue. The issue was the thick humid air that felt like it was smothering you. It was the stench of sulfur, blood and burnt flesh that was all too familiar. The problem was all of the signature characteristic of hell that assaulted Sam's memories and took him back to the cage.

Truthfully, Sam wanted his big brother. He would never voice it because he knew he sounded weak and pathetic, a grown ass man pining for his older brother but it was true. Sam needed Dean to ground him. To let him know what was solid and real and to tell him that everything would be okay. But it was Sam's turn to make sure everything was okay. He was doing this for his family and with the thought of that, Sam pushed through the memories and flashbacks and concentrated on the small TV.

Torture time was never far away in hell and although he was immune, the people in the cell's around him weren't. The ability to hear anything that came from the TV soon disappeared as the deafening screams of tortured souls, overpowered everything. 

Sam tried to block them out but it was impossible. Sam found himself feeling guilty for being safe and sound. For sitting on a comfortable cot whilst souls around him were being flayed. It seemed to go on for days or maybe weeks. He wasn't quite sure but eventually, the screams of those closer to him seemed to die down a little. Sam shut his eye's as he tried with all his strength to fall sleep. He wanted a reprieve but sleep was escaping him.

"Sam?" called a gravelly, stuttering voice.

"Who's there?" Sam questioned as he sat up, alert instantly.

"So it is the great Sam Winchester. It's been a long time", claimed the voice. The voice was a little clearer and more composed now. It was coming from a female and Sam started to recognize it.

"No, it...it can't be you. We killed you", stumbled Sam.

"Yeah well, you can't keep a girl down".

"Ruby?" inquired Sam in disbelief.

"In the flesh", Ruby was in the cell across from Sam. Her cell was a whole let less comfortable than Sam's. She dragged herself closer to the bars, revealing herself. Although in hell they could torture someone beyond recognition, they tended to wipe the slate clean in order to have a fresh canvas afterwards. Lucifer didn't follow the rules of hell torture and there were no breaks and Sam hadn't noticed being made whole again, only noted the constant agony. The cage was his playground but he'd gotten that idea from the tiny snippets that Dean had let slip.

However, Ruby wasn't a blank state, she still displayed the signs of being tortured. She was wearing the vessel he'd last seen her in but her soft hair was matted with blood and her beautiful skin was littered with harsh incisions. She was burnt and a grotesque flap of skin fell free from her cheek, revealing the muscle beneath but she was still very much Ruby. 

"How? We killed you. How are you here?" questioned Sam.

"Well you did kill me, thanks for that by the way but let's just say I pissed a few people off over the years. Certain demon's weren't happy with me being dead and instead, preferred me to be tortured for the rest of eternity", snarked Ruby.

"You pissed off someone high up enough that they could bring you back?" asked Sam.

"Evidently. So tell me Sam, what's the boy with demon blood doing in my neck of the woods", wondered Ruby.

"Why would I tell you anything?" spat Sam.

"Jeez, such an attitude considering you're the one that killed me", reminded Ruby.

"Yeah and you manipulated me into drinking demon blood and kick starting the apocalypse", retorted Sam.

"How did that go by the way? You hear rumors and snippets but the people who torture me aren't big talkers, so come on Sam! Give me the details", urged Ruby. 

"I'm not telling you anything", scorned Sam.

"Don't be like that, there isn't much in the area of entertainment down here. What's the harm in telling me a few details", pleaded Ruby

 "I didn't think there'd be any harm in using my psychic abilities but we all know how that worked out", snarled Sam.

"There's not a lot I can do down here, is there?" implored Ruby.

"This conversation is over", declared Sam. Ruby. Just perfect. If he wasn't taking an involuntary trip down traumatic memory lane already, he definitely was now.

* * *

Dean was flipping through files in the bunker when Mary walked into the room Dean was occupying. 

Everyone was pitching in to search the bunker for any info on their British counterparts. They figured there had to be something considering it was a Men of Letter's bunker.

"Hey Dean, need some help in here?" Asked Mary softly.

"Yeah, thanks. Anyone find anything yet?" Wondered Dean.

"Not yet. How are you doing, Dean? There's so much going on, I'm not sure how you're managing to keep your head above water", coaxed Mary.

"Yeah, well that isn't really new for us mom. There's always something going on", shrugged Dean.

"Yeah, I think I'm started to get that. You and your brother don't seem like your run of the mill hunters. I Mean, the Devil? His kid? God and his sister? That's a far cry from werewolves and wendigo's", acknowledged Mary. 

"The good old days of dealing with the monster of the week and seeing maybe one demon every now and then were over a long time ago", agreed Dean.

"I never imagined that this would be your lives", whispered Mary.

"I know but it hasn't been all bad you know?" Smiled Dean.

"Sounds like there's been a whole lot of bad", countered Mary. 

"There has. Ever since I went and got Sammy from Stanford all those years ago, it's been hit after hit. We've been through some...really crappy situation's you know? But I'm not unhappy, not anymore", admitted Dean.

"You're happy hunting for the rest of your life? No partner, no kids, no family?" queried Mary.

"I have a family mom and I've lost a whole lot of family too. Losing it makes you realize how much family is worth. It's everything, you know? The life we've got here? It's the most settled we've ever been, literally ever. We have a home and I've got Sammy and Cas...and you. I'm happy with what I've got. I don't need more", shrugged Dean.

Mary may not have been back long and some of that she'd spent away from her boys but she'd realized that Dean was not all too different than other hunter's she'd come across. Gruff, hard edges and stoic. Not a guy to get on the wrong side off. He was different when it came too Sam but even then, it seemed a rarity to get such open and emotional words out of Dean without having to prize them from him. Mary took it as a gift. That her son was being open with her and her heart melted a little.

"Well, I'm glad that you found something worth fighting for", smiled Mary with misty eye's.

"And Sam?" asked Mary noticing Dean's mood shift at the mention of his absent brother, "You said that he went to college...I'm guessing he wasn't always into this life".

"No, he wasn't. It was funny, when Sammy was a kid, he begged to come hunting with us. He was so young, I think he just thought he was missing something. I think Sammy was 9 when he first helped us with a hunt..."

"John let you boys hunt that young?! And where did Sammy stay before he hunted? Where did you both stay when you were both too young?" interrupted Mary.

"Er...We stayed together, in motel's and stuff and when I started hunting Sam stayed in motels by himself...I mean not always, sometimes we stayed with Bobby or pastor Jim but mostly motels", stuttered Dean almost defensively.

"You were just kids...you shouldn't have been left alone or been allowed to hunt...John left Sam, his 9 year old son in a motel room alone?!" questioned Mary in disbelief.

"Hey, mom, It's okay", reassured Dean.

"No, no! It's not okay", insisted Mary.

"Okay, maybe it's not okay but he was different when you died mom. It changed him but we, me and Sammy, we did okay", smiled Dean.

"You did great" smiled Mary, "anyway back to the story. You were saying about Sam?".  

"Oh yeah, well Sammy was so keen to hunt with us when he was little but when he actually started hunting...he wasn't so enthusiastic. He was a nerdy little kid, you know? He loved school and he hated having to move around so much. Hated being made to trade doing his math homework to train with dad. When it got round to him graduating high school, he dropped the bombshell that he was going to college", explained Dean, feeling more comfortable on these grounds than talking about his father.

"Stanford? Right? One of the best college's around and he managed to get in while moving and hunting all the time? That's impressive...I'm guessing John wasn't exactly supportive?", wondered Mary.

"You could say that. He told Sam that if he went then he stayed gone...we didn't see Sammy for years", admitted Dean.

"God, when I got pregnant I imagined waving you kids of to college. Imagined being there at your weddings and playing with your kids", omitted Mary, "anyway, what happened? I mean, Sam said he chose family but something must have kick started it...did he just come home?"

"Not exactly...it wasn't so much of a choice at first. Dad went missing while he was hunting Azazel. I went to get Sam at Stanford to get his help looking for dad. We didn't find him but did work a case but Sam was intent on getting back because he had this interview for a law school. When we got back though...Sam had to watch his girlfriend die...in the same way you did. She burnt on the ceiling and luckily I had gone back to talk to Sam and found him screaming on the bed and dragged him out. He was real serious about her. He'd been with her for a couple of years and he was going to propose", told Dean.

"Oh god, poor Sam", whispered Mary.

"Yeah, so I guess at first it was more about revenge. He wanted to get yours and Jess's killer but he didn't go back. Jess's death took him away from school but family kept him here. We've both tried to have an apple pie life and it never really worked out" shrugged Dean.

"You got out?" asked Mary in surprise.

"Yeah. You know that Sammy jumped in the cage with Lucifer? Well before he did, he made me promise to get out. There was girl who I liked a lot, she had this great kid and I always thought that if I had that kind of life, that I would have liked it to be with them. Sam made me promise that I wouldn't go on some suicide mission to get him back and instead, go to live with them. And I did, I lived with them for a year. We had a house, I had a 9 to 5 job. I had beers with neighbors and made Halloween outfits for Ben. The whole nine yards", told Dean.

"Sounds nice", smiled Mary warmly.

"It was but I never got out, not really. My mind was always in it, constantly on alert and I never really could be happy knowing I was living the life Sam had always wanted while he was being tortured by the devil as a prize for saving the world", explained Dean.

"I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you", comforted Mary sadly.

"He came back though, and it was messy and hard...it was hard for me so god know's what it must have been like for Sammy. It was nice to get a taste of the white picket fence but this is where I belong and I wouldn't trade Sam or Cas, you or this bunker for that life. I think Sam feels the same these days. He wanted out for a while, a long time ago but he seem's pretty content with his life now. I guess what I'm getting at is, I know it must be disappointing to find out that your kids lives turned out nothing like you wanted but, we're good. We're a little damaged and rough around the edge's but I'm proud of us", stated Dean.

"I'm proud of you both too" agreed Mary.

Dean smiled at his mom. Things hadn't worked out like he'd thought. He'd always imagine reuniting with his mom and things hadn't been so picture perfect because this was real life but he was happy. Mary was here now and although she had struggled in the beginning, Dean felt she was starting to really settle into the mix of things.

He couldn't be completely happy though, not because of the problems with Lily or Lucifer or the BMoL because they were used to dealing with threats but he couldn't let himself be completely happy because Sam wasn't. He needed his brother back. They'd figure all the other crap out.

They'd put Lucifer away, sort out the teething problems with Lily and put the BMoL in their place's and once they'd sorted that out, he was determined to spend some downtime. He wasn't going to be unrealistic and say they'd take a step back from hunting because they'd been there and failed at that. But they'd stick to milk run hunts. Leave saving the world to someone else for a change and take it a little easier. They could spend time getting to know their mom and Mary could really get to know her sons. Cas could watch some decent TV series' and maybe finally realize that he was valued and an important part of their family. Hell, maybe even Gabriel could stick around if he wanted to. Dean didn't hate the guy anymore, it might be good for Cas to have a big brother around and Sam seemed to have formed a friendship with him too. Most importantly though, Sam could heal. Without being tortured, imprisoned or kidnapped. Without having to fight with his own damned head constantly. He could start working to bring back that damn dimpled grin that never failed to make the 6"4 giant, look like a bubbly 5 year old. The smile that he never saw anymore. He'd coax it out again.

They could all heal.

Cas walked in, interrupted Dean from his internal thoughts.

"Found something Cas?" asked Dean.

"I found a few files on the British chapter", nodded Cas.

"That's awesome, most we've had yet. Good job, Cas", grinned Dean, inexplicably grateful that Cas had found anything at all about the organization because this was the first something in a whole lot of nothing. They could do this.

* * *

Sam sat on the cot with his knee's to the chest. He didn't really know how long he'd been down here. He knew it probably hadn't been all that long top side but it sure felt long enough down here. Not that he could complain, he wasn't the one being tortured but hearing the screams was almost torture in itself. 

"Feeling more talkative yet, Sam?", stuttered Ruby after a fresh round of torture.

Ruby being so close again brought a whole mix of emotions up for Sam. He hated Ruby for a really long time. She had dug her claws into him when he was at his most vulnerable. When he was a grieving, alcohol abusing, emotionally devastated man with a deaf wish. She'd played him, feeding him the lines she knew would work. Feeding idea's of revenge and control, all whilst being able to save more people...he'd fallen hook line and sinker and as a consequence, he'd let Lucifer free. Set off a a load of dominoes which led to him spending several lifetime's in hell. She'd started it all but he knew he couldn't hold her completely responsible. He had made his own choices.

Ruby had actually saved his life too. Stopped him from killing himself in a misguided suicide mission to gank Lilith. Sam wasn't sure whether to be thankful for that or not. He sometimes wondered if everything would have just been better if he had of died before Dean returned from hell, before he drank demon blood. Sam may have prevented the apocalypse but a whole lot of people had died, he couldn't help but wish sometimes that some demon had taken his deal back then. 

Shaking himself out of his gloomy thoughts, Sam looked to Ruby. No matter what she had done, Sam didn't get kicks out of seeing anyone hurt like that. She looks a bloody mess and Sam felt a twinge of sympathy. 

"Still not feeling all that chatty", replied Sam simply.

"Oh Sam, c'mon! Do you know how long I've spent down here being tortured?! I need some decent conversation! We used to be so close", urged Ruby who was remaining surprisingly exuberant considering her current state.

"I wouldn't call it close", countered Sam.

"Really? 'Cause I remember us getting _real_ close back then," smirked Ruby, "At least tell me what happened after you and that brother of yours stabbed me? I mean, releasing Lucifer, it was pretty much my life's work".

"Lucifer was set free, that's what happened", snapped Sam.

"Well duh, dumbo...but the apocalypse didn't happen...those details got around to everyone, even us guys down here", exclaimed Ruby as she rolled her eye's.

"What do you think happened? The biblical apocalypse, horsemen and all. Lucifer killed people and he and his brother Michael planned on fighting it out and taking the world out with them but it didn't happen", sighed Sam.

"How? Who managed to stop two archangels?" inquired Ruby, "Wait, don't tell me it was you and Dean? 'Cause I really underestimated you both if you took down our Lord".

"Nothing worked...I was meant to be Lucifer's vessel, so I said 'yes', took back control and jumped into the cage", shrugged Sam.

"Took back control? It's hard enough to take back control when you're possessed by a regular demon but Lucifer? That's impossible", doubted Ruby.

"Apparently not", argued Sam.

"Wow, I'm impressed Sam. I mean, I was mostly just manipulating you into doing what I wanted, not that it was difficult. You were so desperate for some kind of affection, it was actually pretty pathetic but I always did respect your strength and abilities. I knew you were a capable hunter but this is out there! So, you jumped in the cage? I bet that made my stint in here seem like a trip to coney island", grinned Ruby, eye's a light in something close to wonder.

"Oh it was a blast", mocked Sam snarkily.

"Touchy...so what brings you back down here?", asked Ruby.

"Okay, enough! Enough questions, I'm not talking about this with you", yelled Sam. 

Turning himself off to Ruby, Sam lay down on the cot, pulling the rough blanket over his head. He didn't need anymore warmth down here but he needed a barrier between himself and his surroundings. Something to block it all out. 

It didn't work all that well but it was better than nothing. It was almost like when you're a kid and you somehow feel safer from any monsters in the closet if your under your duvet. It's not logical but there's an odd sense of safety about it...Except Sam had never really felt safer from monsters under the covers, even as a kid. He knew salt line's a salt rounds were much more useful. The blanket wasn't really working now either...

Sam shut his eye's trying to conjure up images of home. Dean and Cas bickering over god know's what. Dean in his dead guy robe, eating breakfast and making some crude joke. Cas in an almost comatose state after an impressive netflix binge (they would seriously need to stage an intervention if he watched anymore TV). Him and Dean in the impala, singing along to Bob Seger songs. Times of happy normality. Times of safety and family and love. He tried to get lost in those thoughts but it just made him miss home

He missed Dean. But Dean was exactly the reason why he was doing this. He was doing it for his family and all the people he'd hurt if he didn't. 

* * *

 

"Why should I believe you?", queried Dean to the guy on the phone.

Among the files on the BMoL, there had been contact details. Dean hadn't though they'd still be in use but Cas thought it was a possibility that they would have kept to the same numbers. Dean didn't see the point. What good would ringing the Brit's do? It wasn't like they would have a lovely chat, smooth things over and meet up for scones and tea later. And Dean had made his opinions quite clear but the other's had argued against it. 

It may not help but considering they were planning to attack anyway, it couldn't really hurt either. It might help them to know where they stood. So Dean had relented and dialled the number that had belonged to the main headquarters. 

He'd been talking to some guy who was apparently one of the main authority figures behind the British Chapter. An old man who'd been part of the organization for most of his life and had a lot of say over what went down. He'd been polite with Dean. Overly, even. The guy seemed quite pleased to have one of the Winchester's reaching out to them but when Dean had told him his reason for calling, he'd flat out denied it. Dean knew these people were more than capable of lying but Dean almost sensed genuine confusion from the man.

"Mr Winchester, I can assure we plan on doing no such thing. What would gain? It isn't like the existence of the supernatural is public knowledge, what authority or power would that give us over anyone? There'd be nothing to gain from taking over the American hunting circuit. We simply want to lend a hand in iradicating supernatural threat in America. It's what we do. We're not politician's", explained the guy who had introduced himself but Dean hadn't taken note of his name.

"You talk a good talk but my brother has been kidnapped and tortured by two of your guys now, why should I believe a word you say?" Grumbled Dean.

"I am aware of those unfortunate events. I regret that the only experience's you've had of us are so negative but I can assure you that neither Toni or Ketch were acting on our order's. That's not the way we do things here. We don't do 'messy' and as a rule, our people only kill being's of the supernatural kind. I hope you accept my apologies but I understand your reluctance to believe what I am telling you. Whether you believe me or not, it happens to be the truth. We are not planning on fighting the American hunter's. We want to build bridges" Finished the guy.

"Okay? Fine", Sighed Dean.

"Don't hesitate to call if you require it. Phone the same number and ask for me, Alfred Whittaker", told 'Alfred'.

"Fine", accepted Dean as he shut of the phone.

"Dean? What did he say?", asked Mary.

Dean stood silently. He didn't trust this 'Alfred Whittaker' or the British Men of Letter's in general but Dean tended to have pretty good gut instincts about people when they were lying and he didn't seem to be lying. But if they weren't planning on kidnapping Sam and turning him into some kind of demon blood hulk, what the hell was Sam's vision about? 

* * *

 

Sam did sit ups in his cell. He had a habit of working out when he was stressed and he was definitely stressed. Ruby had tried talking to him constantly but he was blanking her out. 

Mid sit up, the atmosphere changed a little. Ruby felt it too as she paused in confusion. 

The air got colder and Sam's breathing became rapid as the hair's on his forearms stood to attention.

No.

No.

This couldn't be happening. Wasn't happening. It was just his messed up head. Hell bringing up bad memories and he was hallucinating or something.

Just, _no_. 

Foot steps grew closer until a figure was standing by Sam's cell. 

Lucifer.

"It's you...I...I'm Ruby. I helped set you free all those years ago...sir. You're...amazing", gushed Ruby. 

Lucifer looked at her in contempt before snapping his fingers, causing Ruby to explode into dust. 

"This...it isn't happening", Sam whispered to himself.

"Oh but it is, Sammy. You should be thanking me, I am breaking out of the slinker after all" winked Lucifer, "I'll admit, I didn't expect this move from you...seems a little extreme for a bunch of human's".

"You know about the British Men of Letter's?"

"Sam...poor clueless Sammy. I'm the one who gave you the vision about them. The one about you and Lily being kidnapped was me too but I figured I'd throw in a real one first so you'd believe the next one" explained Lucifer.

"What are you going to do?" Asked Sam with dread.

"Now I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise Sam. Say goodbye to the your digs" told Lucifer as he snapped his fingers, transported both he and Sam from hell.

* * *

 


	16. Scattered

_I've got some scattered pictures lying on my bedroom floor._   
_Reminds me of the times we shared._   
_Makes me wish that you were here._   
_'Cause now it seems I've forgotten my purpose in this life._   
_All the songs have been erased._   
_Guess I've learned from my mistakes._   
  
_Open the past and present._   
_Now and we are there._   
_Story to tell and I am listening._   
_Open the past and present._   
_And the future too._   
_It's all I've got and I'm giving it to you._   
  
_Loose ends tied in knots._   
_Leaving a lump down in my throat._   
_Gagging on a souvenir._   
_Lodged to fill another year._   
_Drag it on and on until my skin is ripped to shreds._   
_Leaving myself open wide._   
_Living out a sacrifice_

_\- Scattered, Green day_

* * *

 

Sam was sent to an abandoned house with Lucifer at his side. The house had all the clue's and faded memories of what was once a warm home but was now cold, empty, mold ridden and decaying. Not too mention, seemingly, in the middle of no where.

Sam felt the uncomfortable presence of panic bubble up in his chest. Lucifer however, seemed happy.

"Like our place, Sam?" smirked Lucifer.

"Wha..what are you doing? What is all this about?" asked Sam firmly, trying to control the shake in his voice. 

"Jeez, lighten up there Sam! I'm not going to hurt you...yet. As long as you don't cause me any trouble. I do have plans for you later but right now, you're more of a bargaining chip", explained Lucifer vaguely.

"Bargaining chip?" frowned Sam.

"Yeah, I need your brother and my brother to stay away. I need to make sure that my dad isn't going to be a problem. You're my bargaining chip. They stay out of my way and leave Lily and I alone and I don't lay a hand on one hair on your pretty little head", grinned Lucifer as he patted Sam's head. Sam flinched to his own dismay.

"Lily? Lily's back at the bunker", protested Sam.

"Not anymore", shrugged Lucifer.

"What did you do?!" exclaimed Sam.

"I did nothing, she chose it", defended Lucifer. 

"It doesn't matter...Gabriel won't stop protecting Lily just because you have me and Dean, he's going to find a way to get me and Lily, and then he's going to put you back in the cage", informed Sam defiantly. 

"You sure have a lot of faith in that knucklehead brother of yours, it's sweet really. It's just a shame he doesn't believe in you the way that you believe in him", said Lucifer in mock sympathy. 

"You're not going to get into my head", stated Sam, more as a promise to himself than Lucifer.

Lucifer was a master of torture. Physical pain was one thing and Lucifer was great at that, he could make you hurt in ways you didn't even know were possible but his psychological torture was on a whole other level. He had a way of fishing out your pressure points and weakness's and using them to break you.

Dean was Sam's weakness and Lucifer knew it. It was an easy way to break Sam. Lucifer trying to make Sam believe that Dean didn't believe in him was child's play compared to things that happened in the cage but it was still effective. Have something told to you repeatedly and you'll start to believe it but Sam was determined not to let Lucifer get into his head.

Sam and Dean were good. Better than they had been in a long time. Maybe there was a time when Dean didn't believe in Sam. Such as when Sam was hopped up on demon blood but things had changed a lot in the last couple of years. Things had been sticky between them with the Gadreel stuff and then when Dean had the mark of Cain but they'd managed to get on the same page and in the last year or so, things had been better than ever.

Sam believed in his brother. Believed he could do anything and Sam was sure the feeling was mutual. They trusted each other. Sam would do anything for his brother and he knew Dean would do anything for him. That actually worried him a little. Sam had found out what Dean had done back when he'd been shot and almost strangled to death by a turning werewolf. Dean hadn't given anything away at first and he stuck to that for a while but Sam kept at it, sensing something was off and eventually Dean had admitted taking that overdose in order to make a deal with Billie.

Sam had been pissed. Pissed was an understatement actually. Sam had been furious but he also understood it. When Sam had been trying to get his hands on the codex, he'd been willing to kill himself if it saved Dean. It wasn't the cursed box or the hallucination of Rowena. He knew what he was doing. Enough blood to take a life and Sam had been willing to make that sacrifice if the book could save Dean from what the Mark was doing to him. It didn't make him any less pissed but he got it. That's what scared him now. If Lucifer wanted to use Sam to make sure his family left him alone, it meant Lucifer would make sure Dean knew exactly what situation Sam was in and it scared Sam to think of what lengths Dean would go to in order to save Sam. Sam couldn't lose Dean. Lucifer's reply to Sam interrupted his internal worrying.

"I'm just telling you the truth Sam. Remember all those years ago when I said that I'd never lie to you? Well that still applies"

"I also remember you saying you'd never hurt me, you sure lied about that. You lied when you pretended to be Cas. You always lie", corrected Sam.

"I wouldn't have to hurt you if you'd have played nice, Sam"

"Whatever you plan on doing...it's not going to work. They'll stop you" breathed Sam.

"I'll admit it Sam, you guy's have had an annoying habit of putting a stop to my plan's in the past but I'm Lucifer sunshine, you can't keep beating me. I mean, you thought you stopped me by jumping into the cage with me but you just brought yourself two centuries worth of torture because I ended up getting back out. This is something you can't win", shrugged Lucifer before smashing his fist into Sam's jaw.

Sam flew backwards and sat in shock. "What happened to not hurting me as long as I didn't cause you any trouble?", confronted Sam.

"Well, if I'm going to use you to blackmail your brother, you have to look a little beat up. Make them that much more eager to do exactly as I say...plus, you talked back to me. You know how I don't abide rudeness, Sammy", smirked Lucifer as he towered over Sam.

* * *

Dean paced back and forth in the bunker. He was agitated, annoyed and worried. 

"You're telling me you lost Sam? He was in hell, how did you lose him?!" yelled Dean angrily.

"I didn't lose him...he had to have been taken! The demon in the cell across from him was killed and none of the other demon's and souls will talk. I warded that cell, no one should have got in or out except for me", exclaimed Crowley.

"And me", interjected a new voice.

Dean's heart dropped, recognizing the voice.

"Lucifer" frowned Gabriel.

"And I'm out of here", stated Crowley before disappearing.

"I think he's intimidated by me", grinned Lucifer.

"You took Sam", seethed Dean.

"Nothing get's past you Dean. I do have Sam", confirmed Lucifer.

"Let him go!" demanded Dean.

"You gonna make me?" provoked Lucifer.

"Just let him go, isn't this getting old? What do you want from him?" questioned Gabriel.

"I have plans for him but they're none of your business. I do promise not to kill him though, on one condition", offered Lucifer.

"How do we know that this isn't a bluff? That he's not already dead?" queried Gabriel and Dean's stomach flipped at the mention of Sam being dead.

"Here", offered Lucifer as he slid a photo across the table.

Cas picked up the photo, an unreadable expression flashing across his face before passing the photograph to Dean for him and Gabriel to look at. The photo was Sam, in some dingy house, bloody and bruised. Dean held the ability to read Sam even in photo form and Sam looked scared, not that Dean blamed the poor kid. Dean saw red and was on the brink of exploding but suddenly felt a calming presence wash over which he guessed was the work of Gabriel using his angel mojo to chill Dean out. 

"It's just a photo, that doesn't tell us that Sam's alive", questioned Gabriel. 

"Fine", breathed Lucifer as he took out a phone, "Sam, Gabriel wants proof  you're still alive".

The voice on the line swallowed and cleared their throat, "I'm..I'm alive, I'm okay. Dean, please don't do anything stupid...stay safe ple...", rasped Sam before being cut off by Lucifer.

"See, alive and if you want it to stay that way you'll do nothing. You four along witb dad and auntie Amara will leave well alone. Lily is with me but she chose to be with me. If you let us be, I won't kill Sam but if you try to take Lily away from me, that's it. A click of my finger's and Sam's soul will be shattered into a million pieces and crushed until there is nothing left to put together and even dad couldn't bring him back", threatened Lucifer.

"So, what? We just let you and Lily do whatever the hell you want and you let Sam go?" questioned Dean.

"No! If I give you Sam back straight off, you'll just try and take my kid away from me again. Sam stays with me until I say so but at least he's alive" explained Lucifer.

"How is that a bargain for us?" argued Dean.

"So you'd rather Sam be dead? Because I can arrange that", snarled Lucifer.

"Fine", seethed Dean.

"What? How can we agree to this? We're just going to let him do whatever he wants with Lily and Sam?!" argued Gabriel.

"What choice do we have, Gabriel? Because if you have a better idea I'm wide open! Lily chose to go with him, it was her choice and now Sam has been dragged into this and if leaving Lily to her CHOICE is the only way to keep Sam alive then I'm gonna go with it!" countered Dean.

"I want Sam to be safe Dean but we also have to think about Sam. Would he rather be kept alive at the cost of being Lucifer's prisoner?" reasoned Cas.

"What the hell do you suggest?! I just give up on him and let HIM kill Sam? I can't do that, Cas and honestly, I can't believe you're suggesting it", yelled Dean.

"I am not suggesting it Dean, I just think that we should consider what Sam would want. He dserves that much", explained Cas.

"Dean, it's okay", soothed Mary as she squeezed her eldest boy's hand. 

"I hate to break up the family drama but I don't have all day", butted in Lucifer.

"Fine, we'll leave you and Lily alone but if you go near my brother not only will we come after you, I will do whatever it takes to kill you dead", growled Dean.

"Good, we're on the same page. Don't miss me too much", smirked Lucifer before disappearing from the room.

"Jesus Dean! What were you thinking?" yelled Gabriel.

"I was thinking about my brother. You may not give a damn about Sam but some of us do and I'm not just going to let him die because Lily made a crappy decision", argued Dean.

"I do give a damn about Sam and you know it! He's my friend and I don't want him to die but we're just playing into Lucifer's hands. This isn't keeping Sam safe either, he's still with Lucifer. Our best bet would be to get them both back, our way", countered Gabriel.

"We try anything and Sam's gone with a click of his finger's, I'm not risking it, I'm not gambling on Sam's life", sighed Dean.

"I agree with Dean. Lily may be young but she's developed enough to make her own decisions. We don't own her and we can't force her to do anything. She chose to leave and if leaving Lily to make her own decision's means that Sam is safe then it's what we have to do. Lucifer seems to want a relationship with Lily which mean's he's not going to hurt her but he will hurt Sam. This is our only option and Dean was right", agreed Mary as she squeezed Dean's shoulder.

Dean gave an appreciative smile to Mary, appreciating that she was on his side and backing him up.

"What do we do? Just sit around waiting till Luci come's calling again and jump when he say's jump?" frowned Gabriel.

"We should probably contact Chuck and Amara. They are still looking for Lily, they need to know", stated Cas.

"I'll talk to them", sighed Gabriel as he left. 

* * *

Sam sat hunched in the corner of the room. He was sore but it was nothing he wasn't used too and he knew Lucifer was capable of so much more. It was clearly just to spook Dean. 

"Honey, I'm home", called Lucifer as he returned.

"Are you planning on telling me about these plans of yours?" questioned Sam.

"Well, since you asked so nicely", Lucifer left the room and returned with Lily.

"Lily, what are you doing?" pleaded Sam.

"Hi Sam", greeted Lily as she looked to the floor guiltily. 

"Lily and I have already put the plan in place", smiled Lucifer.

"I did it to help you", whispered Lily.

"Did what? What did you do?" wondered Sam as he began to panic.

"We knew you'd come when we were in France and we used the opportunity", explained Lucifer.

"I...I gave you blood", stuttered Lily.

"You..what?" breathed Sam deeply.

"When you were asleep, I made you drink some blood but it was to save you", defended Lily.

"Blood...like demon blood?" Sam's voice broke, it couldn't be happening. Demon blood brought back so many emotions. Most significantly, shame and guilt. He was an addict and he knew it had disgusted Dean. He's gotten so strung out on it and the detox had almost killed him. The detox, one of the worst earthly experience's he'd had. His relationship with Dean had almost been destroyed beyond repair and he had set Lucifer free. This couldn't happen. He couldn't become addicted again. Couldn't have Dean and now his mother too, look at him that way. 

"No Sam, not demon blood. My blood", corrected Lucifer.

"No..no. You're just..you're doing this to mess with my head. I'd have known, felt it", stuttered Sam.

"You were only given too little doses and you didn't know and never tried to use the abilities the blood will have given you...believe it or not, it doesn't matter. Soon you'll be strong, stronger than you've ever been before", explained Lucifer.

Water clouded Sam's eye's as he fought back salty tears.  

"Lily...why? Why would you do this?" Asked Sam, betrayal escaping into his voice. 

"To save you Sam, you'd have died if I hadn't", told Lily desperately.

Sam looked to Lucifer in confusion.

"Hey, it's okay Lily, don't get upset", soothed Lucifer, "why don't you go up to your room and I'll talk to Sam, explain. 

Lily glanced at Sam once again before disappearing from his view.

"What did you tell her?" asked Sam firmly.

"I may have bent the truth a little. I told her that you were dying. That your soul had been damaged so much over the years that it was killing you. I acknowledge that the majority of damage to your soul was my doing so to prove to Lily that I was willing to change, I told her I'd help you. I also told her that the way to save you was for you to drink my blood and that I needed her help with it", explained Lucifer.

"So you lied and manipulated her? If you're trying to establish a relationship with your daughter, that's not the way to go about it", told Sam.

"Because you know so much about family, Sam? Your dad abandoned you, you and your brother are the most codependent and dysfunctional people I've ever met. Who are you to give anyone advice on family? You destroy anyone who comes into a 10 foot radius of you. Your mom died because of you. Sweet little Jessica died, again because of you. Your dad, Bobby, all of those random hunter's that you classed as family, the Kevin kid, Charlie was it? The list goes on, Sammy, anyone who get's close to you ends up dead. Cas and your beloved big brother have died more than once. Have you ever considering that the common denominator in all of it is you? I'm not going to take parenting advice from someone like you Sam", taunted Lucifer. 

"Dean and I may not be perfect but we're always at our best when we together, on the same page, no secrets. Things only went wrong when we lied to each other. When Lily finds out about this, she's not going to trust you", insisted Sam.

"Lily is not going to find out about this, do you hear me Sam? You will go along with this, you will make sure Lily believes every word of it. Those bruises of yours were from a hunt and you are here because I rescued you from hell, got it. If you say anything on the contrary, I will kill Dean" warned Lucifer with venom in his voice.

Sam swallowed. He didn't want to play Lucifer's game and act like Lucifer was a freaking saint to Lily but Sam would do that if it meant Dean was safe.

"Fine...why do you want me to drink your blood?" asked Sam fearfully.

"That vision about the British Men of Letter's wasn't completely off. You were strong when you were guzzling the demon blood like coffee, imagine how strong you could be with my blood. You'd be a force to be reckoned with. A force that I could use", mused Lucifer, "I'm going to kill my father. It's not going to be easy especially with auntie Amara and his other angel's on his side so I need to build up a strong defense. Demon's will jump of a cliff in I tell them too, but they're mediocre at best. I'm working on Lily, she will eventually help me in the fight and I have other's up my sleeve but you, juiced up with some of my blood...you'd be a valuable asset".

"I will never help you to do that", exclaimed Sam.

"I have my ways, ways to control you Sam", smirked Lucifer.

"You can never beat Chuck, he's too powerful", whispered Sam.

"We'll see", grinned Lucifer.

Lucifer took a knife and cut his arm before hedging toward Sam. Sam knew what was coming and began to shuttle backwards but Lucifer sent him flying backwards to the wall until he was pinned there. Lucifer stood face to face with Sam and forced his mouth open as he began to drip his blood into Sam's mouth.

Sam refused to swallow, trying his best to spit it out but Lucifer pushed his mouth shut and covered Sam's nose leaving no room to breathe. Sam struggled for air, the panic and lack of breath causing Sam to involuntarily swallow. Sam could taste the metallic flavor of Lucifer's blood passing down his throat. A tear escaped Sam's eye from exhaustion, lack of air and from fear. 

Lucifer let Sam who slumped to the floor, defeated.

"This is going to be so much fun, they won't see it coming", grinned Lucifer.

* * *

Dean roamed through the bunker, restless and frustrated. Gabriel was still acting crabby and had gone of some where to the other side of the world to fetch a specific food that was apparently a necessity. Dean, Cas and Mary had been in kitchen making small talk until Dean had excused  himself to take a shower. In reality Dean had just needed some space. He hated their current situation. There was nothing he could do.

So after a brisk shower, Dean found himself wandering the bunker until he came to Sam's room. It was neat and tidy, typical Sam. Dean sat at Sam's desk and opened up the box that Sam kept some mementos in. Dean wasn't really snooping, he'd seen it before and he didn't think Sam would begrudge Dean going through his possessions if it allowed Dean to feel some sort of connection to him. 

He pulled out a pile of photo's. There was a photo of the brother's when they were much younger and much happier. A photo of Jess smiling at the camera as she was cooking. A photo of Dean, Bobby, Cas, Ellen, Jo and himself. The one they took before they lost Jo and Ellen. A couple of other photo's they'd taken when they'd been on the road. There was the leaflet from the case at oak park retirement living where they had met Mildred and Eileen. There was a bible which surprised Dean a little, he knew faith had always been a big part of Sam but he might have had a little less faith after meeting the slightly underwhelming Chuck. It was still obviously important to Sam so Dean carefully placed it back in the box. There was a bunch of other bits and pieces in there. Little bits of crap which would be meaningless to anyone else but served as keepsakes from happier time's on the road together for the boys. 

There were a few things that didn't have any memories attached to them for Dean but he guessed that they were probably things from Sam's time at college. There were several cards from Jess; birthday cards, valentine's, Christmas. Dean silently thanked Jessica for making sure Sam felt loved those years he'd been separated from his brother. There were movie theater receipts, random funny little notes Dean had wrote on stick it notes, little gifts that Dean had scraped together from cereal boxes and grab it machines, for Christmas and Birthday gifts when they were kids. Dean had seen this box before but he hadn't looked at everything. He had no idea that Sam had kept hold of so many nick knacks and keepsakes but he was grateful right now because he felt a little less like he and Sam were at opposite ends of the planet. 

A glimmer at the bottom of the box caught Dean's eye. He rummaged through and pulled out his amulet. Dean had found it in his pocket when Chuck had come back to the scene but when it disappeared, Dean had assumed Chuck took it but there it lay in Sam's box. Sam must have grabbed it for the box, probably thinking that it would be tossed out otherwise. That Dean wouldn't care about. Thumbing the familiar object in his hand, Dean pulled it over his head and let it rest against his chest, where it should be. 

Placing the rest of the stuff back and tucking the box away, Dean shifted to get comfortable on Sam's bed.

"Okay, I'm not sure if this works with you but I figure you're an angel so it should...I want to alter our deal a little, Lucifer. I will still leave you and Lily alone but I need to talk to Sam. Need to hear him myself. I'm not asking to see him, a phone call will do...I just need to speak to Sam and then I'll leave you alone", bargained Dean as he prayed to the fallen archangel.

* * *

Lucifer was taken aback when he heard Dean Winchester praying to him. He wasn't asking for anything too major and it wouldn't put him out but he wondered if he gave into Dean now, would he'd keep changing the conditions. Deciding to give Dean this and show that he was being fair on his end would make Dean more likely to stay out of the way and not cause him any trouble. Dean was just a human and however powerful Lucifer was, the Winchester's had beaten him before so he was keen to keep Dean out of the picture.

"Sammy, I got a surprise for you", sing songed Lucifer as he walked to where Sam was still dejectedly slumped against the wall. Sam didn't bother answering Lucifer.

"I'm going to let you and Dean talk on the phone", announced Lucifer which caught Sam's attention. Sam looked at Lucifer wearily, waiting for the punchline.

"What?" asked Sam disbelievingly.

"You heard me. That overbearing brother of yours wants a phone call and considering how kind and giving I am, I am going to agree but you will not tell him anything, got it? Nothing about my blood or killing Chuck or what I've told Lily. No information whats so ever and if you do, I will kill Dean" Warned Lucifer.

"Okay, okay. I won't say anything" agreed Sam, desperate to talk to Dean.

Lucifer handed Sam the phone.

"Call anyone else and you know what will happen. I'm going to see how Lily's doing but you know I can still hear every word of it. You've got 5 minutes", instructed Lucifer sternly.

* * *

Dean sat waiting for some sign or answer and before long his phone began to ring. Hope fluttered in his stomach.

"H..hello?", answered Dean hesitantly.

"Dean?" breathed Sam deeply.

"Oh god, thank god. Sam! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" rushed Dean.

"I'm fine Dean", laughed Sam tiredly, "god, it's so good to hear from you".

"You too, little brother. It's not the same without your geeky ass around here" smiled Dean.

"Gee, thanks. How heart warming of you Dean", joked Sam.

"Seriously though Sam, how you doing?" asked Dean, his tone turning serious.

"I'm...I'm okay, Dean. Really"

"Course you are. It's not like you're stuck god know's where with the devil or anything"

"I've had worse. How are you anyway, you okay? And how's everything else?"

"Sam, we're not the one's who spent quality time in hell and now with Lucifer. We're good...We rang the British Men of Letter's though and they seem genuinely confused about your vision"

"I know, you don't have to worry about that. My vision was wrong"

"Lucifer. Was it him? Seems convenient that you have a vision that leads you to hop on over to hell where you coincidentally get hijacked by Lucifer. Did he give you the vision?" wondered Dean. Sam remained silent on the other end.

"Let me guess, you're not allowed to tell me anything?" Sam's silence was all the answer Dean needed, "well, what about hell? Can you talk about that?"

"I guess"

"Are you okay, did Crowley stick to his word?"

"Yeah, he was actually pretty decent about it...Ruby was there", admitted Sam.

"Ruby? We killed her"

"Someone wanted her tortured for eternity but she's dead now"

"Good, it must have been hard for you down there", grimaced Dean.

"It was fine...I wish, I wish you could save me like you always do Dean. I guess this is the one time where we can't get out of it", sighed Sam. Dean was taken off guard by Sam's willingness to be honest about needed Dean to get him out of something. That made him nervous about what Lucifer was doing.

"I do too, Sam. There is nothing I'd like more than to drag your ass back home but if I do...he'll kill you"

"Yeah well, maybe that's not such a bad thing", muttered Sam quietly.

"Sammy, no. Don't say crap like that", pleaded Dean.

"I'm just saying, sometimes there are worse things than dying", whispered Sam.

"Not for me, there is nothing worse for me than you dying. I don't care what the world throws at us, archangel's, hybrid monster's, another apocalypse...whatever! I can face all of that but I can't face life without you", choked Dean. 

Sam stayed quiet but Dean could tell from Sam's breathing that he was trying not to cry.

"Don't let that bastard get in your head Sam"

"He's not", promised Sam tiredly. 

"Good...hey, I looked through your box earlier. Hope you don't mind...I just needed..."trailed Dean.

"It's fine, I get it", insisted Sam.

"I'm wearing my amulet. I hope you don't mind me stealing it back but it was mine to begin with...I didn't realize how naked I felt without until I got it back again" smiled Dean.

"Course, I'd have given it to you, I just wasn't sure if you wanted it but I wanted to save it", grinned Sam despite the current situation.

"Hell yeah, best gift I ever got", exclaimed Dean.

"Did you look through the other stuff?"

"Yeah, I didn't realize you kept so much stuff...got me thinking about back in the day when we were just kids", admitted Dean.

"I've been thinking about when we were kids too...remember when you were supposed to write a poem and you just kept doing acrostic poems from the word Poughkeepsie?", laughed Sam casually. 

"Er, yeah. Teacher got pissed at me?" Replied Dean carefully picking up on Sam's warning.

"So anyway, I think my time is up. It was good to hear you, just don't do anything stupid okay?", asked Sam.

"You know me, Sam. Can't keep promises like that. Just take care of yourself, okay?"

Before Sam could answer the phone was swiped.

"Hi Dean, I think I was pretty generous letting you call but chats over now. Stay out of my way if you want poor little Sammy alive", ordered Lucifer before cutting off the line.

Dean was worried. Poughkeepsie meant drop everything and run. It was their warning. Sam probably didn't mean it literally, just wanted to warn Dean something was going on. Dean's guess was that Lucifer was up to something bad and Sam couldn't say. Lucifer probaby threatened to kill someone Sam cared about if he did. Dean's mind wondered to different possibilities. Whatever it was, Dean knew Sam preferred death over whatever it was Lucifer was planning and that thought made his blood run cold. 

 


	17. Running Up That Hill

_And if I only could,_  
_I'd make a deal with God,_  
_And I'd get him to swap our places,_  
_Be running up that road,_  
_Be running up that hill,_  
_Be running up that building._  
_If I only could, oh..._  
  
_You don't want to hurt me,_  
_But see how deep the bullet lies._  
_Unaware I'm tearing you asunder._  
_Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts._  
  
_Is there so much hate for the ones we love?_  
_Tell me, we both matter, don't we?_  
_You, it's you and me._  
_It's you and me won't be unhappy._

_\- Running Up That Hill, Kate Bush_

* * *

Sam shifted uncomfortably on the rotting wooden flooring. Lucifer hadn't been _pleased_ with Sam. Although Sam had given no information to Dean, Dean had caught on straight away that something was up. Apparently Sam hadn't done enough to persuade Dean that he was okay. Lucifer had said that he was in a 'kind' mood and instead of killing Dean for Sam's failings, he'd taken in out on Sam instead. 

The impromptu torture session had brought along cage memories but Dean was right, pain was different topside, even when it was the devil carving into you. In a twisted way, at least Sam knew what was real now. He knew the difference.

Lucifer had been sure to keep Lily out of the way, not wanting to break the illusion of the newly reformed archangel he'd been portraying to her. He'd also muted Sam. No sound left Sam's throat as he tried to scream through the pain. His throat was still raw from trying though. The injuries still remained and the cold floor wasn't the most comfortable position especially when you'd been tortured by Lucifer and had one arm chained to the wall.

At least Lucifer was gone now. He'd disappeared to god know's where. Probably recruiting some high ranking demon for his grudge match against Chuck. Lily had remained out of sight. Sam doubted Lucifer would be willing to take Lily out of this heavily warded house and risk Chuck getting her again. The house was warded with, what Sam was almost sure was enochian. No kind of sigil's he'd ever seen but Sam could guess that they were pretty secure.

He sat there miserably, feeling defeated and vulnerable. He hoped Dean would listen to him when he told him not to do anything stupid. He doubted it though. Sam wanted to figure out a way to stop Lucifer before Dean had the chance to sacrifice himself but he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

Sam tried to shift into a slightly more comfortable position but the movement caused pain to wrack through his body and hiss of pain left his mouth.

"Sam?", called a shaky voice.

It was Lily, she peered round the wall and gasped at the sight of Sam. She quickly shook off the shy nervousness that she felt and ran to Sam's side.

"Sam...I'm sorry", trembled Lily.

"It's okay, I'm fine", told Sam. 

"No you're not...he did this didn't he?" Mumbled Lily.

Sam tried to think of a plausible lie. Lucifer had threatened Dean's life and that was something he wasn't going to risk gambling with but Sam's mind was blank.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything, I know", stated Lily sadly. 

"You know?" Questioned Sam.

"Yeah, I think my dad underestimated me a little. He told me to stay in my room for my own safety and locked the room but I was easily able to overpower them and get out. He's also not the only one who can listen in on conversations. I heard everything...I wanted to come and help you but I was scared that if he knew I heard everything, that he'd have no reason to hold back and hurt you more" apologized Lily.

"It's okay", smiled Sam.

"I'm sorry about the blood...I thought I was helping you but I shouldn't have done it without you knowing anyway...I've made a mess of everything. I...I knew that he had done bad things but I just wanted a family. A dad", choked Lily.

"I know, I get it. My mom died when I was a baby and I grew up with only what my dad and Dean told me about her. I'd have given anything to get her back and when we did...even if I'd have found out that she'd hurt a lot of people, I still would've been desperate to know her", offered Sam.

"I just wanted to believe he could be good"

"I know...if it means anything, I genuinely think he cares about you. He manipulated and lied to you, I don't think he knows anything else but in his mind he was trying to do it for his and your relationship. It was wrong and probably motivated by a need for power and revenge against Chuck but he does love you", comforted Sam.

"Thanks, it does mean something. I care about him too...even now and I feel bad about that because of what he's done but I do", admitted Lily.

"That's okay, caring about someone who's done bad things doesn't make you a bad person. It's about what you do that defines who you are", told Sam.

"I know...which is why I'll do whatever it takes to help you and to help Dean, Gabriel, Cas, Mary, Chuck and Amara. Even if that means never seeing my dad again", offered Lily.

"...I think he's going too hurt Dean now", breathed Sam fearfully.

"But you didn't tell me anything, I heard. He said he'd kill Dean if you told me", protested Lily.

"Your dad doesn't care much for the finer details", said Sam.

"We won't let that happen...I'll go to the bunker and warn them", offered Lily. 

"No...I don't want them in danger"

"You have something else in mind?" Wondered Lily.

"No, it might be easier at the bunker if I had the Men of Letter's resources but I don't"

"I could get them...I spent a lot of time reading the books in the library when I first started staying at the bunker. I know the books that are about archangels..I could bring them here and we could figure something out and keep Dean out of it", suggested Lily.

"If you go to the bunker, they'll see you and Dean will know something's going on and come here all guns blazing and get himself killed...plus I don't want you putting yourself in danger. I don't think your dad would hurt you but you'll be unguarded going out there alone, someone could hurt you", considered Sam. 

"I can get around the guys at the bunker I'll be in and out in a flash before they've had a chance to even realize. I'll be back here by time they do. As far as my safety, I can handle myself", smiled Lily before disappearing.

"Lily?! Lily, this probably isn't a good idea" yelled Sam to the empty house. Sam only hoped Lucifer didn't get back beforehand.

* * *

Dean was cleaning his gun when Gabriel came rushing in.

"Dean, Lily's been here!" Exclaimed Gabriel before running off. Dean caught up to Gabriel in the war room.

"What the hell?!" asked Dean.

"Lily was here. I felt her presense. She was gone as quick as she was here and there wasn't time to talk to her but I felt that she'd been here", explained Gabriel not only to Dean but to Cas and Mary who had joined them.

"Why would Lily travel to the bunker only to leave straight away?" Wondered Cas in confusion.

"She took some books from the bunker", explained Gabriel.

"So, what? She had an urge to do some reading and came here to get it?" Questioned Dean.

"It was a specific variety of books...Books about archangels", stated Gabriel.

"This can't be good...Either Lily is working with Lucifer and getting those books to try and help Lucifer somehow...or she's getting them for Sam and Sam has some plan up his sleeve", stated Dean. _  
_

"The second option doesn't sound so bad. If Sam has a plan, he could get himself and Lily back home", said Mary.

"Trust me, Sam having an idea up his sleeve isn't a good option either because he's always too quick to sacrifice himself to help everyone else", explained Dean, "if he tries to take on Lucifer alone, he's gonna get himself killed" 

"Dean, Sam beat Lucifer before. I think we should give him more credit", argued Gabriel.

"I do give him credit! He did the impossible and he did it by being the strongest person I know but beating the devil meant he spent centuries in Hell being tortured", reminded Dean.

"You got me there...but what are we supposed to do?" Asked Gabriel.

"I think we need to find out where they're hold up and go there. Try out this plan to put him in the cage using that binding of yours", stated Dean.

"What happened to holding back? You refused to go against Lucifer before because of his threat to kill Sam", reminded Cas.

"I know but if Sam and Lily are planning something, chances are that Lucifer will end up killing Sam either way...I think this is the best chance we've got", sighed Dean.

"Okay, how do we find them", asked Mary.

"What about Chuck and Amara?" Suggested Cas.

"I haven't heard from them since I convinced them to lay of the search. I tried to contact them but they've disappeared", admitted Gabriel.

"Figures. Chuck's always MIA when the crap hits the fan", grunted Dean.

"Well we can figure this out. We have two hunter's and two angel's, between us we should be able to find them or else we aren't very good at our jobs...what about a location spell? I'm guessing it probably wouldn't work on Lucifer or Lily but it could work for Sam?", Suggested Mary.

"That could work", approved Dean.

* * *

Sam sat nervously waiting for Lily.

"I'm back", announced Lily.

"Thank god! I don't know how long we have", said Sam. 

"He'll probably be gone a while, he thinks I'm stuck in my room and you're tied up so he won't be worrying. Plus I can sense when he's close so don't worry" Explained Lily as she placed a pile of books in front if Sam. 

"I took the books from the bunker and consumed all of the information in them...honestly there wasn't much to go on but they did mention materials in Romania which were supposed to contain more knowledge about archangels. They were planning on obtaining them but I think they disbanded before they got the chance. Anyway I went and got them and these look more promising", told Lily.

"You went to Romania too? You were gone 15 minutes", pointed out Sam who was kind of impressed.

"Yep, anyway, you should probably get reading before he's back", suggested Lily.

"You're right", agreed Sam.

* * *

"I think I have something", announced Sam.

"You do?" smiled Lily.

"Yeah but there's two problems; We don't have a key element that we need and secondly, it involves killing your dad", admitted Sam, "I was trying to look for a way to trap him or send him back to the cage but I got nothing but there is something that could kill him".

Lily paused in thought, "If that's what you have to do then do it. He's my father, I wanted to get to know him and have him in my life but I see now that he's just going to carry on hurting people. Including my family. He's planning on killing Chuck and anyone else that gets in his way. Like Gabriel and you guys. He can't carry on this way...do it", whispered Lily.

"Kiddo, I'm sorry you have to deal with this...but I need the sharpened bone of a holy man to carry it out anyway so it's a no go", informed Sam.

"What does that even mean?" wondered Lily.

"My guess would be the bone of a priest or something. Someone who was good and devout...I doubt Lucifer would have any of those lying around", stated Sam.

"Do you know anyone would?"

"Yeah actually...do you know where a cell phone is?" asked Sam.

* * *

Sam had used the cell phone to call Crowley. He was sure Crowley could get what he needed and be in and out of here fast. He couldn't call Dean for help because he'd try to stop Sam. Sam hadn't told Lily what the ritual entailed because she hadn't asked but Dean definitely would. 

The ritual that Sam had found was titled 'Vasa Sacrificium' which was Latin and roughly translated to "The Vessel's Sacrifice". According to the book, the ritual would kill Lucifer. According to the ancient text " _Hostia caelestis formae aliorum vitam perdere"_ which translated as "the sacrifice of a celestial's other form can destroy the life within". Sam had to translate quickly to figure it out before Lucifer returned but Sam got the gist of the ritual. The true vessel of an angel, in this case Sam, could kill the angel by carving a sigil into their own stomach that shed blood, allowing the angel in and then taking back control and plunging the bone of a holy man through the center of the sigil. It wasn't simple and it would kill Sam in the process, thus it being titled the vessel's sacrifice but Sam thought it was worth it.

Lucifer was beginning to up his game, creating a army to destroy God himself would no doubt have reprocussions on the earth. The last time Chuck had almost died, the sun was almost destroyed. The whole world would suffer if he didn't do this and stop Lucifer from getting his way. 

He knew Dean would hate it and Sam felt guilty doing this when he hadn't seen Dean for a while. He wouldn't be able to say his goodbye's but he knew Dean would try to stop him. If the book was accurate the ritual would not only kill Sam, but shatter his soul. There was no coming back from this one and Dean would have to live without him. No deal could get him back this time but Sam knew that things were different now. Their mom was back. Between Mary and Cas, Dean would be just fine without him. Sam actually thought that once Dean was passed the grief, that he'd be better off.

Sam had worked a loose nail from the flooring and when Lily had gone to hide the books that she'd brought to the house, Sam had used the nail to carve the sigil into his stomach. Now it all relied on Crowley getting in and out before Lucifer got back. 

On cue, Crowley rocked up.

"This is weird even for you moose. You ask me to show up to the place where Lucifer is keeping you hostage but instead of setting you free, you want me to bring you some old stiff's bone?" frowned Crowley.

"If I try to get out of here Lucifer kills Dean and most likely, lot's more people beside's. I found a ritual which can kill Lucifer but I needed the bone of a holy man which I see you've brought", explained Sam, "Don't worry, you don't need to do anything else, it's all on me. You can leave before Lucifer gets back".

"Well, whatever, I'm not going to bet on you Sam. Lucifer will probably kill you when you fail but that's your own daft fault. Here's your bone, I'm going", stated Crowley before leaving and dropping the bone to the floor.

Sam pulled up the floorboard which he'd managed to loosen the nail from and hid the bone under it. Everything was set. He had the sigil on his stomach and he had the bone, the thing that worried Sam was him having to say 'yes' to Lucifer and take back control. Lucifer had been forcing Sam to drink his blood but Sam was actually thankful because Lucifer's blood should make him stronger. Sam remembered that the thing that had given him the strength to take back control last time was Dean. He would concentrate on that and use it to take control. 

Sam had used the voice recorder on the cell phone to record a message to Dean, apologizing and explaining. Saying the things he so desperately wanted to say to his brother. He'd given the cell phone back to Lily and asked her to pass the recording to Dean if it went badly. Lily looked concerned by that but was distracted by sensing Lucifer. So she agreed and hid any evidence of the day they'd spent planning to defeat him.

Everything was set.

Sam felt Lucifer's presence as he entered the house. Sam clouded his thoughts full of Dean and free of their plan, knowing that Lucifer could pick up on the plan he didn't clear his head. 

"Hey Sammy! Miss me? You look like crap", grinned Lucifer.

"How can I stop this?" Whispered Sam, trying to portray defeat in his voice.

"Stop this?" Questioned Lucifer.

"This! Being locked up with you feeding me your blood and torturing me when you feel like it. What do you want me to do?! I can't take this anymore", yelled Sam as he feigned desperation.

"You really aren't the man you used to be", stated Lucifer bluntly. 

Sam let a few tears slide down his cheeks. They weren't fake. Sam was about to kill himself and break his brother's heart but to Lucifer, they were tears of a desperate man.

"Say 'yes'", instructed Lucifer.

"But...I thought you weren't interested anymore. You fixed up your old vessel and don't need me...isn't there something else?" Asked Sam, not wanting to seem too enthusiastic and cause suspicion. 

"Feeding you my blood would make you a valuable asset to my plan's but using you as a vessel would be better. Especially a vessel all juiced up with my blood. You'd be powerful alone but with me possessing you, we'd be unstoppable", smiled Lucifer, "it's this or nothing".

"...Fine...Yes"

* * *

Dean stood over a mixing bowl. They had found a spell to locate Sam. It was simple enough and should do the trick but there were some obscure ingredients that Gabriel had gone to fetch.

"Dean", said Crowley as he made an appearance.

"Jesus Crowley, you scared the crap out of me", exclaimed Dean.

"I didn't realize you were so sensitive, I apologize", mocked Crowley.

"What are you doing here?", queried Dean.

"I may know something that I think you'd be interested in knowing too", informed Crowley.

"Yeah like what?"

"Like the fact that I got a phone call from your brother asking me to fetch him something", told Crowley.

"What? Why did he ring you and not me? What did he want?", asked Dean.

"He wanted the bone of a holy man. Apparently he's found a ritual to kill Lucifer and considering he didn't call you, I'm guessing it's something you wouldn't approve of"

"What?! No, what the hell are you doing Sam?! You need to take me there now!" Ordered Dean.

Mary walked in followed by Cas and Gabriel who had the ingredients for the spell in his arms.

"What's going on, I heard shouting?" Asked Mary.

"Apparently, Sam's got some genius plan to kill Lucifer and he called Crowley for help not me which probably means it's a stupid plan!" Yelled Dean.

"You saw Sam? How was he?" Questioned Cas.

"He looked like he'd been tortured", admitted Crowley. Dean's knuckles tightened around the edge of the table, turning his knuckles white. 

"You know where he is though, you can tell us where to go?" Pointed out Cas, "it'll be quicker then the spell".

"Yeah, we need to go now", demanded Dean.

* * *

The feeling of having something possess you was as bad as Sam remembered. It was almost like having someone hold your head under water. You struggle and fight for the surface but the hold on you is too strong and you're drowning. Suffocating. Your body is yours but it's disconnected from you, unwilling to follow the commands you give it. 

It was also incredibly weird having someone share your body with you. It feels cramped and violating. They're in your head and you're in there's. Sam truly hated it but he was doing what he had too.

Sam wasted no time trying to fight for control. First using his mental strength but to no avail. He tried and tried but Lucifer was too strong. Maybe Lucifer had been right about Sam not being the man he once was. 

No. Sam shook of the self depricating inner monologue and focused on what always got him through. Dean. His rock, his anchor, his life jacket, his stone number one. The one person who was everything that meant anything to Sam.

Sam thought about Dean sitting front row, clapping like a hungry seal, at Sam's school play. The play that John had refused to go too and called Sam stupid for taking part in and told Sam that he was wasting his time. Dean, however, had been there with a proud smile on his face. Sam thought aboit Christmas's, the one's where John was hunting were always the best. With John around, Christmas was a time for walking on eggshells. John would be caught in grief and alcohol around the holiday's. A mean drunk who spat harsh words at people who didn't deserve them. The Christmas's when John was away were the best. Dean and Sam didn't have much but they made it special for each other. The newspaper wrapped novelty gifts from the hotel vending machines meant more than any expensive gifts. Sam thought of Christmas's with Dean. Sam thought about Dean learning him to drive and nagging his ear of about Sam's driving the whole time. He remembered times on the road. When they weren't fighting some life threatening monster and they were just brother's on the road. Music blaring and taking light hearted jabs at each other. It was Sam's home. His happy place.

Dean was home.

Sam started to register Lucifer growing angry. Sam realized why. He was taking control. Slowly gaining control over his body with Lucifer locked inside yelling.

Sam wasted no time. He didn't know how long he could last so he unbuttoned his shirt and took out the bone. Unaware of his surroundings.

"I'm proud of us, Dean" whispered Sam to no one.

* * *

Crowley had told them where Lucifer was keeping Sam and Lily. Gabriel wasted no time in transporting everyone, beside's Crowley who had disappeared, to the place where Sam was. 

They stood on an abandoned street. Some place that looked like an apocalypse had hit and wiped everything out. The house Crowley had promised Sam to be in stood in front of them and Dean was the first to get moving as he quickly ran to the door with the other's on his heals. 

"It's warded" told Gabriel before disarming the warding quite easily. Dean kicked in the door and felt like his heart was being wrenched out of his chest because he could see what was about to happen but knew he couldn't stop it. Sam stood with his shirt fluttering open, revealing a sigil which had been carved into Sam's skin. Sam held a pointed bone in his hand and wore a determined look on his face. 

"I'm proud of us, Dean" whispered Sam to himself as he rested the pointed end of the bone against the middle of the sigil on his stomach. 

"Sammy! NO!" Screamed Dean.

But it was too late. Sam plunged the bone straight into his stomach. Sam hazily looked up at Dean just as blood began to seep over his lips. 

'De..." whimpered Sam as he dropped to the floor.

Dean skidded to his brother's side and saw the sickening image of the bone Sammy had stabbed himself with sticking right through the other side of his back. 

"Hey, hey hey...what the hell Sammy?! Just hang in there, we'll get you fixed up", soothed Dean as hot salty tears drifted from Dean's face and dropped onto Sam's pale cheek. 

"Oh god", cried Mary as she took in the sight of her boys. 

Sam's skin began to flicker with a blue light. Almost like a demon looked as it was being killed but the coloring was different. 

"Sammy what did you do?" Sobbed Dean.

"He let Lucifer possess him and then performed a ritual that will kill them both" stated Gabriel quietly. They all seemed to be in some sort of shock. Apart from Dean who was in big brother mode and cradling his stubborn little brother. 

Distant eye's bore into Dean. The light was gone and Dean noticed the slow rise of his chest stop. 

"No, you don't get to do this Sam! You don't get to bail on me! You don't get to be some kind of hero and leave me, Sam! You can't do this, damn it!", yelled Dean through uncontrolled tears. 

Sam's glassy eye's just stared at the same place. He was gone. Dead. 

"Sammy!", begged Dean.

 

 


	18. The Famous Final Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite this chapter being called 'The Famour Final Chapter', it actually isn't the final chapter and is just named after the song. I actually have planned, about 2 chapters left. Enjoy!

_It's been coming on so long_  
_You were just the last to know_  
_It's been a long time since you've smiled_  
_Seems like oh so long ago_  
_Now the stage has all been set_  
_And the nights are growing cold_  
_Soon the winter will be here_  
_And there's no one warm to hold_  
_Now the lines have all been read_  
_And you knew them all by heart_  
_Now you move toward the door_  
_Here it comes the hardest part_  
_Try the handle of the road_  
_Feeling different feeling strange_  
_This can never be arranged_  
_As the light fades from the screen_  
_From the famous final scene_

_\- The Famous Final Scene, Bob Seger_

* * *

Dean knelt beside Sam, willing him to wake up.

"Fix him!" Demanded Dean to Gabriel.

Gabriel tried, he tried to bring his friend back to life but nothing was working.

"I can't", admitted Gabriel quietly.

Gabriel pushed his hand into Sam's lifeless body. The painful procedure elicited no response from Sam. Gently feeling for Sam's soul, Gabriel found the problem.

"It's his soul...it's...Sam died, both his body and his soul but the soul usually remains whole after death where it's taken to wherever they're supposed to go but whatever Sam did...his soul is in pieces. It's destroyed. No one can fix this. Sam's gone", explained Gabriel. Gabriel had witnessed many human's die before but Sam wasn't just some human. Sam had done so much for this tiny little planet. He was important. But more than that, he'd become Gabriel's friend. He wanted to fix this so badly but Sam's souls was completely destroyed. 

"There has to be something...there's always something", insisted Dean.

"Not this time...Dean I'm so sorry", offered Gabriel.

Mary hovered behind Dean. She looked desperate to hold her son. The son she'd lost twice now, but she held back. Watching Dean cradle Sam like he was a small child, Mary felt like she was intruding. She was too afraid to interrupt them. Mary had been gone for over 30 years, she hadn't raised her sons. They'd looked after one another and now one of them was gone. She felt like her heart was breaking. No Parent wants to lose a child but she knew whatever she felt, Dean felt worse. So she couldn't interrupt their moment. Couldn't interrupt the chance for Dean to say goodbye. So she stood, heart shattering at the site of her boy's.

"What the hell did you do Sammy?" whispered Dean.

"He killed my dad", said Lily quietly as she appeared down the stairs with a book clutched to her chest.

"Lily! What the hell happened?" asked Gabriel. 

If Dean noticed Lily's presence, he didn't acknowledge it. He continued to look at Sam, as if he was hoping he could bring him back by sheer force of will.

"Sam wanted to beat Lucifer without bringing you guys into it...he didn't want you to get hurt so I helped him get some books about archangels. This one was from Romania and Sam said he found a ritual he thought could work but my dad was heading back so we had to pack it all up. Sam said he had what he needed though so I left him to get on with it...I didn't know it would kill Sam", explained Lily as she gave the book to Gabriel.

Gabriel flipped through the ancient book and stopped when he noticed the sigil Sam had on his stomach in the top half of a page.

"Lily's right. The ritual is called the vessel's sacrifice. It basically involves the true vessel of an angel carving a sigil into their skin, letting the angel in and then using the bone of a holy man to stab through the middle of the sigil. It kills both the angel and the vessel, hence the name. It says that if the ritual is completed the soul of the vessel is destroyed", confirmed Gabriel.

"Sam managed to take back control", stated Mary.

"Sam was strong", reflected Cas.

Dean didn't seem to hear or care. He sat on the floor where he'd yet to move and Mary was beginning to worry.

"Hey, Dean...sweetheart, I'm so sorry", offered Mary as she gripped the shoulder of her eldest and only remaining son. Dean only breathed heavier as he fought to control his emotions.

"Dean, we should go home. We should take Sam home", stated Cas solemnly.

* * *

Gabriel had brought them all back to the bunker and laid Sam's body out on his bed, using a blanket to cover up the gaping wound in his stomach. He was turning cold and his lips were a bluish tinge but Dean hadn't shifted. He stayed beside Sam since they'd gotten back. 

"Dean honey...Don't you think maybe it's time to put Sam to rest. Give him a hunter's funeral?", suggested Mary.

"He's be gone for five minutes and what? You're ready to burn him? Is he an inconvenience to you mom? You got as far away from us as you could when you first got back...Just waiting for me to bite the dust and then you'll be free, huh?" spat Dean. 

Mary looked like she'd been punched in the stomach at Dean's words. She bit her lip as she struggled to maintain any resemblance of composure. 

"...I loved Sam, Dean. I love both of you", choked out Mary before turning and leaving the room. 

Dean didn't exactly feel guilty but he wanted too. He just couldn't muster up anything other than grief that he felt consuming him. 

"Dean..Sam recorded a message for you on this phone. He said to give it to you if something went bad", told Lily as she walked from behind Gabriel. Once she'd given Dean the phone, she left to her room, feeling guilty for the role she'd played in her father's scheming.

Dean didn't answer her but he did hit the play button.

" _Hey Dean, it's me, Sam. I'm guessing by now I'm gone and you're probably pretty pissed at me, right? I don't blame you, I'd have been with you. I'm sorry that it happened this way, Dean but I had too._

_Lucifer lied to Lily. He told her my soul was dying and that if she fed me Lucifer's blood, I'd survive. That's why Lily came back. She gave me Lucifer's blood when I was sleeping and Lucifer forced me to drink it when he captured me. He wanted me to be strong because he was planning on killing Chuck. He knew he couldn't do it alone and he was working on creating an army. Me being part of it. He said he had a way to control me._

_He also threatened to kill you if I told you or Lily about any of it and Lily heard him. I knew he wouldn't care whether I was the one who told her or not, I knew he'd kill you. I couldn't let that happen Dean and I couldn't let him kill Chuck and take the world with him. I found a way to take him out and I had to do it even if it killed me. And if it worked, that mean's he's gone now. Not just locked away or in the cage but actually gone. After all of my past with him...I needed to do this Dean._

_I know you'll probably hate me for doing this but I had no other choice. It was this or watch him kill you and everyone else. I know you'll be okay, Dean. You have Cas and mom. You still have family, you don't need me._

_As for me, you don't need to worry. I don't know what happens to a soul that's shattered but I'm guessing maybe I just cease to exist or maybe it's the empty I have to look forward too but whatever it is, I can handle it knowing that Lucifer's is gone and that you're okay. If this did work and he is, it means we finally won Dean._

_As for the goodbye's; tell Gabriel that he turned out to not be as big of a dick as I thought he was and that he actually turned out to be a pretty great friend. Tell Cas I said thanks for everything he's done for us over the years and ask mom to make sure you don't do anything stupid. Tell them that I love them._

_And Dean; I love you. I know we have a habit of only telling each other that when one us is dying and that was stupid. So I'm going to have the biggest chick flick moment ever and you can't do anything about it, ha. You are the best big brother anyone could ask for. When I was a kid, I thought you were a superhero and truthfully, I still think that now. You are a hero Dean and you, of all people, deserve to be happy. So please be happy, do whatever you have to do to get that happiness._

_We've been through so much and there's been a lot of bad in this life but for me, you were always the one good thing in all of the bad...._

_So yeah it's sort of awkward to wrap these things up so I'm just going to go. I love you, Dean..." ,_ finished Sam as his voice faltered with emotion before cutting off the recording.

Dean gripped the phone with all the strength he had. This was the last thing he would ever hear Sam say. 

Dean wanted to scream at Sam and tell him he was an idiot. That he should have tried to talk to him and figure something out. Yell at him for leaving him. He wanted to be so angry and pissed. How could Sam think that they'd won? Dean didn't care if Lucifer was dead because no situation that involved Sam being dead could be classed as a win. It also didn't matter that he had Cas and Mary. He loved them. They were family but having them in his life would never make Sam being gone okay. Dean would give anything to have Sam back and it got him thinking that he wished Amara had waited to give him a gift now rather than before so he could have Sam back instead. He felt himself actually wishing he hadn't have gotten his mom back and Dean hated Sam for making him feel that way.

As much as Dean was angry with his dead brother, he couldn't hold on to that feeling because it was clouded by thoughts of his brother's final moments. Sam's last days were spent being forced fed angel blood and tortured by the being who had made Sam's life hell for far too long. He spent his last moments feeling completely alone and scared and knowing Sam he probably blamed himself. He hated that Sam had felt that this was the only way to fix things. That Sam felt so little of himself. He couldn't be angry because he knew Sam had done it to protect him. Dean couldn't be angry at Sam for trying to save him because he'd have done the same thing. Sam had probably managed to save the world from another apocalypse that Lucifer hadn't even managed to get off the ground. As pissed as Dean felt, he felt greater pride in the kid he'd practically raised.

"Dammit Sammy! I'm so pissed at you for this...but I'm so damned proud of you too, little bro...but you were wrong, I won't be okay without you. Nothing will ever be okay, Sam", breathed Dean quietly as he gripped Sam's cold, limp hand.

Gabriel and Cas exchanged worried glances, neither knowing what they could possibly say.

They didn't need to say anything though. As Cas was contemplating something, anything that would help Dean, Chuck appeared in the bunker. Gabriel had reached out to him when they were back at the abandoned house but he hadn't really expected him to show.

The presence of Chuck was the first thing that had managed to grab Dean's full attention other than the message from Sam.

"Chuck...you're here. You need to help him, please", pleaded Dean pointing to his brother.

"I'm sorry Dean, his soul has been destroyed", said Chuck.

"B..but you created souls. You can pretty much do anything, can't you just force the pieces back together or make a new one?!" begged Dean.

"I could 'force' the bits back together but Sam would hardly be a person anymore. What happened to Sam after his wall broke would be child's play to what would happen if I tried to force those pieces back together. He'd live a painful, joyless existence until he died. He probably wouldn't even know who you were or be able to talk. His soul has been destroyed and if I artificially put it together again, he'd have no life. As for creating a new soul, I could but he wouldn't be Sam. Soul's are the very thing that make human's who they are. I could try to replicate Sam's but it wouldn't be really be him. It'd be like a clone or a twin but it wouldn't be your Sam", explained Chuck. 

"There has to be something, you're God for Christ's sake!" yelled Dean, "My brother's dead!"

"And so is my son!", seethed Chuck. Someone who hadn't lost so much may have stopped there, not wanting to feel the wrath of God but Dean had lost the person that meant the most to him, so he didn't care.

"Yeah, your son who was planning to kill you! Your son who wanted to end the planet and was going to force feed my brother blood and use him a some kind of weapon! Sam is the reason why this crappy little planet that you walked out on is still around! He is the reason why _you're_ still around! He killed himself to stop your dick of a son from flattening everything. He sacrificed himself! This is your fault! You gave Lucifer the mark, you couldn't handle your kids so you locked one away and walked out on the rest of them, you're the reason why Lucifer hated you so much! Sam's gone because he took care of what you couldn't! Now, you may not give a damn about this world and human's, we may be so disappointing to you but Sam? Sam is... _was_ one of the few good things that you created in this crappy, screwed up world. He prayed to you. He believed for years, he wanted there to be something good in this world despite life throwing him all of the bed. No matter what mistakes he ever made, he always tried to help people. He always wanted to believe in the good. And now he's gone. So you can stand there with your nostrils flaring, hell, you can smite my ass into ashes! I don't care anymore", yelled Dean with tears freely flowing. Dean felt like he had cried more today then in his life and he knew that he had probably crossed the line with Chuck, he was god after all but he meant it and he didn't care what the consequences were. 

"I am not going to hurt you, Dean. You are grieving and angry. You may not think I care about you or this world but I do. How many time's have I brought you, Sam and Cas back? I would help if it would be worth it but Sam will only suffer more and I don't believe he deserves it. I recognize your brother's sacrifice Dean but I am grieving too. I lost my son", stated Chuck. Dean scoffed and turned away. Despite Chuck's reputation for his wrath, there was no fire in his tone.

Chuck turned to Gabriel and Cas, placing a comforting hand on their shoulder before disappearing. 

"I don't want to be a jerk but I want to be left alone", stated Dean to Cas and Gabriel. They nodded hesitantly before leaving. Dean once again took up his place at Sam's side.

* * *

Gabriel and Cas sat in the Winchester's kitchen in silence. Mary had walked out of the bunker and Dean remained at Sam's side. Cas and Gabriel sat in silence and mutual grief. Sam was their friend and Lucifer, despite his flaws, was their brother.

"I never truly thought I'd see the day when one of the Winchester's died permanently. I knew it would have to happen at some point of course, they are human but they always seemed to find a way around it", admitted Cas.

"I know...I wish there was something this time too but you heard dad", sighed Gabriel.

"So, there isn't anything?" asked Cas.

"Like dad said, putting Sam's soul back together would be worse than death and he doesn't deserve that...unless...", started Gabriel.

"Unless what? If you have an idea, even the smallest beginning of an idea, you need to say something. If there's anything that can bring Sam back without hurting him, then we have to do it!" stated Cas fiercely.

"Something crossed my mind but, I don't know if it's even plausible and I don't want to get anyone's hopes up for nothing", hesitated Gabriel.

"Gabriel, what is it?" questioned Cas.

"I was just thinking, we know we can't force the pieces of Sam's soul together but what if we could merge them with something else?" considered Gabriel.

"What do you mean?"

"I was wondering if I could use my grace. If I merged Sam's soul with grace, the grace could weave the pieces of his soul back together. His soul and the grace would become one. The grace would also heal the damaged edge's of Sam soul. But I don't even know if it would work or if Sam would want it. You know how he had a hang up about grace. Doing this would essentially turn Sam into a Nephilim", explained Gabriel.

"You're right. Dean forced Sam to be possessed by an angel in order to save Sam's life before and it deeply affected Sam, putting it lightly. I don't think Sam would want this", agreed Gabriel.

"To hell with what Sam would want", snapped Dean from behind the angel's.

"Dean, I thought you were still with Sam", stuttered Cas.

"Were you planning on telling me that you thought of something that could bring Sam back or not?" growled Dean.

"Did you hear everything, Dean? This would turn Sam into a nephilim. He'd have power's. He'd still be Sam but he'd change so much and we have no way of knowing if he'd want this", reasoned Gabriel.

"Do you think Sam thought about what I would want when he did this?" argued Dean.

"I think Sam was thinking about protecting you", stated Gabriel.

"And that's exactly what I'm doing! I'm protecting my brother by making damned sure he's still alive", yelled Dean.

"This would be different to what Sam did. He sacrificed himself, he made the decision. There is no way I can ask him if he wants this, we'd be making this choice for him and I am not comfortable with that", exclaimed Gabriel. 

"When all the crap with the trials and Gadreel went down, Death came to reap Sam's soul and Gadreel was able to talk to Sam like Death was...Can't you talk to him and convince him?" asked Dean.

"This is different. It isn't a usual death, his soul is destroyed so there is most likely, nothing to reap. I doubt we can consult with Sam on this", added Cas.

"Well, I don't care! This isn't some angel taking the wheel in Sam's body, this is all Sam except with a little angel mojo. It's not the same and it's all we've got so we're trying this!" insisted Dean, "if you don't do it, then I'll find an angel who will!".

Neither Gabriel or Cas were feeling especially great about this. Gabriel wanted to bring Sam back but he didn't want to take Sam's choice away from him knowing that it had happened so many time's before. He didn't want to bring Sam back only to have him hate them and suffer because of the decision they all made for him. But Gabriel also saw Dean's side because he knew what it was like to lose brother's. It was different for Dean because he and Sam were actually close unlike Gabriel and his own brother's in the end but that had hurt enough. He knew Dean's grief must be suffocating and he wanted Sam around too. 

Thinking it through, Gabriel decided to go along with trying this plan. He figured Dean would stick to his word about going to another angel and not all angel's could be trusted. If this was going to happen, at least they could be sure that the angel doing it was trustworthy.

"Fine, we'll try it but I can't promise anything"

* * *

Gabriel pushed his grace through his arm and towards his fingertips. He plunged his hand into Sam's abdomen, finding the tattered soul. Gabriel wrapped the grace around the broken pieces of soul and used his grace to entwine Sam's soul back together. It took some work but Gabriel felt the grace and Sam's soul merging as one until it was an awe inspiring swirl of grace and human soul. Gabriel could never understand how the angel's had considered nephilim's an abomination. Personally he thought that the combination of grace and soul was beautiful. 

Gabriel finally lifted his hand from Sam and placed a hand on Sam's forehead, healing his bodies physical wounds.

"Is that it?" asked Dean.

"Yeah, now it's a waiting game", told Gabriel.

"Do you know if it's worked? Is he going to wake up", questioned Dean impatiently.

"The grace has seemed to work in merging his soul back together and the soul and grace seems to have become one but there is no knowing how this is going to go down. Like I said, it's a waiting game", explained Gabriel.

"Dean, maybe you should get some rest. Gabriel and I can watch over Sam", suggested Cas. Dean went to protest but Gabriel interjected him.

"There's no arguing this, you need to get some sleep", insisted Gabriel. 

"Fine but if he so much a twitches, you wake me up!" Ordered Dean.

* * *

It had been two days since Gabriel had tried to use his grace to heal Sam's soul and bring him back to life. Gabriel had begun to wonder if it hadn't worked but after two days, there was a hopeful sign. Gabriel was perched on a chair next to where Sam was laying and Cas was pacing at the foot of the bed. Dean had gone to grab some food from the kitchen when Sam's hand had twitched a little and his eyelids fluttered.

"Cas, go get Dean", ordered Gabriel and Cas did without a moment of hesitation. 

Dean and Cas shot into Sam's room. 

"Is he awake?", asked Dean hopefully. 

"He just started to move a little", told Gabriel. 

Sam left out a quiet grown and his eyelids scrunched.

"Sammy? That's it Sam, come on", coaxed Dean as knelt beside the bed.

"Dean?" croaked Sam.

"Yeah, it's me buddy. Open your eye's, nap time's over", smiled Dean with excitement in his voice that Sam was awake and more importantly, alive.

Sam's heavy eyelids finally opened, quickly scanning his surroundings.

"Dean? W..what happened? Lucifer, god where's Lucifer?!" panicked Sam as he became more coherent.

"It's okay, calm down. You took care of Lucifer. He's gone, you don't have to worry about him anymore. It's just me, Cas and Gabriel in here", reassured Dean. 

"I don't...I don't understand? The r...ritual?", stuttered Sam.

"Hey, we'll talk about it later okay but you were pretty banged up and you've only just woke up, take it easy. We'll go make something to eat and give you chance to get yourself together, have a shower or whatever and then we'll talk. Promise", smiled Dean.

Sam sat up albeit slowly and studied Dean's face, "Okay", smiled Sam.

Before leaving, Dean grabbed Sam into a fierce hug. Sam was surprised but fell into it. Dean didn't want to let go. He'd lost Sam too many time's but this was worse. Things had never seemed so bleak. He always banked on getting around it somehow. Sure, he had got around it in the end but it had looked so bleak and served as a painful reminder that they weren't invincible and their job was dangerous. One day, there would be no way to get around the rules but for now Dean would just be grateful that today wasn't that day.

As Dean left Sam's room, he started to consider the decision he'd made to save Sam. He had been so desperate to get his brother back before that he wasn't thinking clearly. He had tunnel vision and no warnings or cautions from Cas and Gabriel could have stopped him but now he had his brother back, reality started to sink in. Soon they would have to tell Sam what they'd done to bring he back and Dean could bet it wouldn't be pretty. 

* * *

Sam wondered into the kitchen freshly dressed and looking a lot better. His face however, was serious and he had a bad feeling in his gut.

"Hey there, sunshine! How are you feeling?" greeted Gabriel with enthusiasm which Sam noticed seemed a little forced.

"Hey" replied Sam a little flatly.

"Gordon Ramsey over here as cooked you a nice calorific breakfast with the works and you're going to polish it all down, no arguments", grinned Dean.

Sam paused, wondering how to go about the talk they needed to have.

"So, what did you do?" questioned Sam, his eye's not meeting Dean's.

"So no breakfast then?" laughed Dean, trying to keep the conversations on a lighter tone.

"What did you do?" reiterated Sam.

"Sam...can we just not do this right now?" sighed Dean.

"No, we need to do this now. I did that ritual Dean, I remember, it hurt like hell. You said that Lucifer was gone, that I'd handled it...if Lucifer is dead and the trial worked, I should be dead too. Not just dead, soul destroyed, no coming back from it. So yeah, we need to do this now. What did you do Dean?" asked Sam a little desperately. 

It was Dean's turn to avoid eye contact as he squirmed in his seat. 

"I...I feel different. It feels like grace...is an angel possessing me again?" asked Sam as his voice fell to barely a whisper and his breath hitched.

"No, you're not possessed but it is about grace", admitted Dean as he looked to Gabriel for some help, "I think you'll probably be better at explaining this Gabriel".

* * *

Dean and Gabriel had explained everything to Sam. Every detail from when they'd showed up at the house where Lucifer had kept Sam, to the present. Cas had spent the whole time shuffling uncomfortable in the background.

When everything was on the table, they waited for Sam's reaction. Sam just continued looking down at his hands, biting at his lip slightly.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the kitchen.

"Sam? Say something", pleaded Dean.

"I...I just...I don't know what to say", stated Sam quietly as he stood up and walked out of the kitchen. 

Dean, Cas and Gabriel followed as Sam walked to his room. Sam began stripping his bed sheets that were decorated with blood speckles.

"Sam...C'mon man! I know you're probably pissed but you gotta understand that we had no other choice. Sam? Dude, you can't just give us the silence treatment. Scream at me if you want but say something", exclaimed Dean.

"I don't want to scream at you Dean", said Sam flatly, "Where's mom and Lily?"

"Mom left and Lily's in her room...So we're just not going to talk about this?"questioned Dean.

"What is there to talk about Dean?", snapped Sam as he threw the dirty bed sheets across the floor, "What is there left to say? We've been here a thousands times and we just keep going round and round in the same circle, never learning from our mistakes...It's the same old crap and nothing we talk about is going to get us anywhere so what's the point?"

"Sam, you're pissed, I get it but it's not the end of the world. So you've got a little mojo, what's the big deal? At least you're alive. It's not that different from the crap with Ruby", argued Dean.

"A little mojo? That's not exactly how I'd describe this Dean. My soul is mixed with the grace of an archangel! That's more than a little mojo, it's a very big deal Dean and don't try and compare this to Ruby! I already had demon blood in me through no choice of my own. That choice was made for me before I was even born and I tried to make the best of a bad situation and help people...that was my choice, you chose this for me!" yelled Sam.

"Okay, okay...I was a jerk to bring up Ruby but Sammy, you left me with no choice. You killed yourself", reasoned Dean.

"It wasn't like that! Don't twist this into some intervention. I wasn't suicidal, I made a thought out and considered decision to sacrifice my life so that you and anyone else Lucifer was planning on hurting would be okay. I chose that Dean but I never choose this and now I have to live with it. It's not just some temporary thing that's going to go away, this is it. This is me for the rest of my life", objected Sam.

"I get it, it's not ideal but I had too, I couldn't just let you die", responded Dean.

"Dean, I'm not going to argue you with you. I just, I'm too tired to talk about this. Let's just leave it", sighed Sam, "I think I want to lie down".

"Fine, we'll leave you to it. We'll sort it out later", sighed Dean.

* * *

All around, it had been a pretty restless night sleep for everyone in the bunker. Sam and Dean had spent the night tossing and turning, Lily couldn't sleep either as she was bombarded with guilt for her part in the recent events and as for the angels, well they didn't need to sleep.

Dean had given up at 5:30am and had gone to the kitchen to get some coffee. It was almost noon now and Sam still hadn't appeared from his bedroom. Dean wrestled with the thought on whether to contact Mary. He felt bad for how their last interaction had gone down and didn't really know how to handle it.

"Hey mom, it's Dean. Look I'm sorry for what I said before. I was just, it was just Sam and I took it out on you but you need to come back to the bunker. There's something you need to know and it's best to do it in person so just call me back", spoke Dean as he decided to dial Mary's number but got the voicemail. 

Dean clicked off the phone.

"I told you this wouldn't end well", muttered Gabriel.

"Well Sam's alive which is as well as it could have gone. I did what I needed too, if Sam never speaks to me again but he's okay, I can deal with that", countered Dean.

"I think it's improbable that Sam will never speak to you again. He is still residing in the bunker, he will at least have to share some sort of conversation at one point", frowned Cas.

Dean rolled his eye's at Cas and was startled at the sound of activity in the bunker. Dean walked to the source with Cas and Gabriel on his heals.

Sam was in the war room, dressed and ready to go. His coat was on and his packed duffel swung in his hand. 

"Where are you going?" asked Dean.

"I found a hunt", answered Sam simply as he slung the duffel over his shoulder.

"Do you think that's a good idea? Considering you died only a couple of days ago?" argued Dean.

"I fine. Fit and healthy and apparently with angelic abilities so I think I'll be fine", snapped Sam, "I need some air". Sam left the bunker, keys to one of the, mostly unused cars in the bunker's garage, in his hand.

"I think maybe you should let him go", advised Cas, "He's...upset".

"No kidding", grumbled Dean.

* * *

Sam pushed his foot down, the well kept car pushing faster across the asphalt. He kind of understood why driving in the impala was so cathartic for Dean. It did make him feel a little better. A little less like he was suffocating. 

It wasn't that Sam didn't understand the need to bring a departed brother back from the dead, he'd been there but sometimes he really hated how Dean went about things. It brought back memories of Gadreel and the similar occurrence that Sam had forgiven Dean for, once before. It wasn't so much what he'd actually done. Not that he didn't hate that too.

Dean had never been possessed but Sam had and he hated it. It was one of his biggest hang ups and although he may not have been possessed by an angel this time, this was kind of worse. He'd been forced to become something that he didn't choose to be.

Sam had nothing against nephilim's or angels for that matter. They weren't monstrous beings and some people would see having your soul merged with the grace of an angel, as a blessing but Sam didn't have the life experience's that most people have. For Sam, grace was a tricky subject. He knew it was what made an angel, an angel and there were angel's he truly respected and even considered family but he also associated it with possession, Lucifer and the cage. He associated it with a complete lack of control and pain. Now Sam would never get away from it because it was part of him and that made him feel sick. 

So, yeah, Sam really didn't like what Dean had done but that wasn't what got to Sam the most. It was Dean's attitude towards it all. Dean had apologized about Gadreel but then expected that to be the end of it and acted like Sam was the bad guy and even had Sam believing it. Dean would probably say sorry this time too but it didn't hold up any meaning. Maybe Dean was sorry for lying or sorry for not being able to ask Sam about it but he wasn't sorry for what he actually did. He saw it as a necessity and it always made Sam feel like he was overreacting or being stupid. 

Dean was the one person Sam had always relied on but in situations like this, he couldn't turn to the one person he always had because Dean just didn't get it. Honestly, Sam wasn't angry. He knew whatever decisions Dean made came from a caring place but he was hurt and scared. He was tired of having the control over his own life and body taken out of his hands and he knew he was alone in it. Because Dean would just think he was provoking an argument if he brought it up. But this was massive. 

Sam may not have anything against angel's but he just wasn't one. He was human. _Was_ human. When Sam had died and his brother had made a decisions to bring him back, that decision had took away Sam's humanity. Maybe it was in there still but he would never be 100% human again. It just wasn't who he was and what Dean had done had changed Sam forever and the thought terrified Sam. He had no idea what the future would hold. 

Trying to forget the churn of emotions in his head, Sam continued to push the sleek car down the road. He turned on the radio.  A chanel that played mostly glam rock which Dean would despise. He twisted the volume up high, desperate to drown out his thoughts. 

* * *

Mary shuffled down the steps that led to the bunker.  

"Dean?!" Called Mary.

She didn't hear any one answer so she searched through the bunker. She half expected Dean to be stationed at Sam's side still but Sam's room was empty and blood stained sheets were balled up in the corner. _Sam's blood_. 

"Dean?!" Yelled Mary once again.

"In the kitchen", came the muffled reply of her son. 

Mary found Dean, Cas, Gabriel and Lily in the kitchen. Dean and Cas were sitting around the table, Dean chugging down the coffee. Gabriel was talking to, a dejected looking, Lily.

"Hey", greeted Mary awkwardly.  

"Hey mom...look I'm sorry how things went down before" offered Dean, trying to shift the awkward atmosphere.

"No, you don't need to say sorry. You were grieving and I'm your mom, I shouldn't have ran. I should have took whatever proverbial punches you threw at me and been there for you. I'm sorry", breathed Mary.

"How about we forget about it?", smiled Dean. 

"Deal! What's this important thing you need to tell me...Is it about Sam? I saw that his room is empty. Did you b..bury him?" Stuttered Mary.

"Not exactly...something happened after you left"

* * *

"Wow", stated Mary flatly after Dean had told her what happened to Sam, "So Sam's alive? Where is he?"

"He went to get some air", shrugged Dean vaguely.

"Air? I'm guessing that Sam isn't too happy about it all", assumed Mary.

"Yeah but we'll figure it out", insisted Dean, "this is what we do. We make decisions the other one doesn't like and then get pissed at each other but eventually sort it out".

Gabriel scoffed.

"Got anything you'd like to add over there?" Snapped Dean.

"This isn't 'what you do' Dean and if it is then you should change it. This isn't Sam being stubborn and something you can just shake off after a while. We collectively made a decision that changed Sam's life forever. Changed who he was and unless you get your head out of your ass, nothings going to get sorted", scolded Gabriel.

"I get that but Sam was dead, I did the only thing I could do. I said I was sorry and Sam will get over it', argued Dean.

"No you didn't, actually. I never heard you actually say sorry and I don't think you are sorry", countered Gabriel.

"You know what, I'm not sorry. It saved Sam's life and I will never be sorry for doing that, Sam can be as pissed as he likes but I'd do it 100 times over", admitted Dean. 

"Sam isn't angry. It may come out as anger but that's only because neither of you know how to express any emotions other than being pissed. Sam's scared Dean and hurt. Given everything that's happened to him and all of his history, imagine how this must feel for him. Imagine how you'd feel if the situation was reversed. No one is asking you to be sorry for saving Sam but Sam needs you to be sorry for that. He needs you to recognize what this means for him and to help him through rather than sweeping it under the rug and acting like Sam's in the wrong for having feelings about this", reasoned Gabriel.

"I've been with Sam through everything! You've been back for all of five minutes and you are suddenly an expert in Sam?" Barked Dean.

"Duh, archangel over here! Empath and all that jazz", exaggerated Gabriel.

"So now I'm the bad guy in all of this", sighed Dean.

"Dean you're not the bad guy. You saved Sam and I'm not one to judge anyone for making rash decisions to save someone you love but Gabriel's right. You need to go about things differently with Sam", agreed Mary softly.

"Sam is a forgiving person, Dean. You know that. I think if you're honest with him and hear what he has to say without arguing it out, you can both work it out", added Cas.

"I know...if he ever decides to come home", muttered Dean.

Truthfully, Dean knew that Gabriel, Mary and Cas were right but he had such mixed feelings about it all. With Gadreel, Dean got why Sam was so angry. They probably could have found an alternative way to save Sam that didn't involve an angel possessing him but Dean had been impatient. And he definitely shouldn't have had a hand in manipulating Sam into agreeing to it. This wasn't the same. There had literal been no other options and Sam wasn't possessed, he was still Sam. Dean did understand that it was crappy situation all around though and it really wasn't his decision to make. He knew Sam must be having a real hard time coming to terms with this and he probably felt completely alone in it. Dean would never apologize for doing whatever it took to save Sam but he would apologize for the hurt Dean had caused Sam by doing it.

He'd make things right. 

* * *

Sam finally decided to head back home. The hunt had turned out to be nothing. An actual freak accident without any supernatural involvement. Sam had spent a few hours driving around before heading back. 

He dropped his bag in his room before heading to the kitchen to get some food, hoping he could avoid a bust up.

He was surprised to see Mary in the kitchen.

"Mom?" 

Mary's head shot round, an unreadable expression on her face. 

"Sam...god, it's so good to see you", choked Mary, leaving out the _alive_  that belonged at the end of her sentence. Mary grasped Sam tightly in her arms. Taking in the way it felt in case she lost him again.

"You too", stated Sam with a sad smile. 

"Dean just went on a run...we were low on coffee", informed Cas. 

Sam just nodded before making a sandwich and sitting down next to Lily who was reading.

"You okay, Lily?" Asked Sam.

"Yeah...are you?" Asked Lily nervously.

"I'm fine. You know I'm not mad at you, right?" Reassured Sam.

"You're not?", wondered Lily.

"No, I'm not. Before a few months ago, you weren't even born. If your dad hadn't have been an archangel, you'd still gurgling and on liquids right now", grinned Sam, "My point is, no matter how smart you may seem or how old you look, you're still just a kid. Your father lied and manipulated you into doing something that you thought would help me. You could never have known the consequences of that and I appreciate how sorry you are for it". 

Lily looked at Sam for a while before lunging her arms around him, almost knocking him over. 

"I think Dean's mad at me...he won't he even look at me", whispered Lily.

"Dean's not mad at you. He's mad at your dad but he can't do anything to him so you're the next best person...he'll come around", comforted Sam. 

"I'm so glad you're not dead", announced Lily.

Sam smiled and Lily got up to go watch TV in her room, looking brighter.

"Wow, I'm impressed. I could barely get two words out of the kid" praised Gabriel. 

Sam ignored the archangel. 

"I'm going to the library for a bit", told Sam to Cas and Mary, avoiding Gabriel completely. 

Sam left the two angel's and his mom alone in the kitchen. 

"I'm going to take a wild stab at this and guess that I'm in his bad books too", huffed Gabriel.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Mocked Mary.

"Well I would think the fact that Sam has completely ignored him might have suggested that to Gabriel....Oh, you were using sarcasm", realized Cas.

Gabriel chuckled at his brother before turning serious. 

"Let's just hope that Dean can make things right, when he gets back", sighed Gabriel.

* * *

 


	19. Learn To Be Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter to this story. Enjoy!

_Now the flowers in your garden_  
_They don't smell so sweet_  
_Maybe you've forgotten_  
_The heaven lying at your feet_  
  
_There are so many contradictions_  
_In all these messages we send_  
_(We keep asking)_  
_How do I get out of here,_  
_Where do I fit in?_  
_Though the world is torn and shaken_  
_Even if your heart is breakin'_  
_It's waiting for you to awaken_  
_And someday you will-_  
_Learn to be still_  
_Learn to be still_  
  
_You just keep on runnin'_  
_Keep on runnin'_

_\- Learn To Be Still, Eagles_

* * *

 

Dean strode into the kitchen, stocked up with coffee granules. Gabriel, Cas and Mary were in the same place he'd left them. 

"Sam's back", stated Cas.

"I saw the car back in the garage so I guessed as much", acknowledged Dean.

"If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one in the dog house", offered Gabriel.

"Sam giving you the cold shoulder?"

"Yeah, you should talk to him", reminded Gabriel.

"I will, where is he?" Asked Dean.

"He went to the library", told Mary with soft smile. 

"Here goes nothing".

* * *

Dean took his time wandering into the bunker's library. He wanted to sort things out with Sam but he wasn't looking forward to this. He didn't want to be made to feel guilty for saving his brother but he needed to show Sam that he understood where he was coming from. 

As Dean arrived in the library, his eye's found Sam. Sam had a book open in front of him but his attention was at his hands rather than the pages.

"Sam?", Dean's voice visibly jerked Sam out of his thoughts. 

"What?" Asked Sam who seemed a little sheepish and embarrassed.

"I just came to talk...why were you staring at your hands?" Wondered Dean.

Sam seemed to think it over, probably figuring out whether or not to talk to Dean about whatever it was that was going on in his head. Sam seemed to come to a decision and when he didn't speak immediately, Dean thought he was going to shut him out. Sam shifted and pulled out some scrap paper, scrunched it into a ball and tossed it onto the table. Dean was more than a little confused but as Sam looked intently at the ball of discarded paper, it went up in flames. Dean began to realize that Sam wasn't shutting him out. This was a show and tell. 

Sam stopped the fire, leaving behind the ashy remains of the paper. 

"Cool", remarked Dean. Sam gave Dean a pointed look.

"How'd you do that?" asked Dean.

"It probably has something to do with the grace that's holding my soul together", bit Sam. 

"I meant how did you figure it out?" Sighed Dean.

"I'm sure there's a lot I'll have to figure out but some things...it's like I just know?" Shrugged Sam, still avoiding Dean's gaze.

There was an awkward silence as the conversation lost momentum.

"Sam, can we talk?", Sam didn't reply but he didn't tell Dean to 'get the hell out of there' either so he took that as a good sign. 

Dean sat down at the table across from Sam, who still hadn't looked at Dean properly. 

"Sam, I know you're pissed at me but I just need you to understand...I was desperate, okay? You were dead and it was different from the other times. There seemed like there was nothing and I had to face the idea of living without you. That bull in your message about not needing you because I had mom and Cas was so wrong, Sammy. I don't care who else I have, it doesn't make up for you being gone. Thinking about your last days alive, knowing that you went through that alone and that you died alone...it was more than I could deal with. I know the way that we brought you back wasn't ideal and that I forced something on you that you didn't want but I can't apologize for saving you Sam", explained Dean.

"You think I don't know that? That I don't know what it's like to have to face living without you?! Because I've been there, Dean. I trusted a demon and drank her blood to try and get you back and then avenge you when I couldn't. I let out the darkness trying to save you from the mark. I get it Dean but there's certain things you just don't do...that's why I didn't try and get you back when you were in purgatory. Because I'd promised you that I wouldn't and I was trying to keep my promise because I thought it was what you wanted. I was trying to follow your wish but do you think that was easy for me? Do you think it was easy to carry on without the only family I've ever really know? Because it wasn't Dean, I was a mess but I did it because you asked me too. I get trying to save me but not when the consequences aren't worth it. Not when it involves being possessed or being turned into something I don't want to be! I have the death of two of our friends on my conscious because of the lengths we've gone to, to save each other. After the darkness we agreed we needed to change Dean but here we are all over again", exclaimed Sam.

"You're right", admitted Dean.

"What?", Sam was dumbfounded. He'd expected Dean to argue but here he was agreeing with Sam.

"You're right. Not about Kevin and Charlie because they're not on you but you're right about the rest of it. I'm never going to stop trying to keep you safe Sam and I don't regret bringing you back but I do hate that I hurt you in the process. I'm not stupid, Sam, I see that all of the things I've ever done to bring you back have hurt you. Years ago, with the demon deal, I left you alone. When you had no soul, I forced it back into you even when Cas told me how much it could hurt you. Then all of that crap with Gadreel...not my finest moment and now this. I know you have a thing about grace and I get it, given your history but it's engraved into my DNA to keep you breathing at any costs, has been since dad put you in my arms the night of the fire but that cost should never be yours. You shouldn't have to suffer through the decisions I make and although I'm not sorry that you're alive, I am sorry for that. I'm sorry that you have this to deal with now", apologized Dean.

"I don't want you to apologize for saving me, Dean. I know that dad put that on you a long time ago and I'm grateful for everything you've done for me but...All of my life, everything has been decided for me by other people. My life was never my own. With Azazel, the demon blood, being possessed and..and Lucifer", choked Sam, "It feels like there's been this constant battle to take back control and I know a lot of the time, I messed up big but...I'm so tired of fighting all the time, Dean. I'm not strong like you".

"That's crap Sam! You're the strongest person I know. You've beat the devil twice now, not to mention all of the other crap you beaten. You're tired? That's allowed Sam. We all get tired of the crap sometimes but that's what I'm here for. You pick me up when I'm falling down and I pick you up when you are. That's how we work", objected Dean, "I know what happened is not ideal but is the grace that fixed your soul, really the problem here?"

"What are you talking about?" Frowned Sam.

"I'm not trying to get myself out of the line of fire but is the grace really the problem here? All that spiel about being ready to die after the trials, you being ready to swan off into the sunset with Death...Looking back it kind of seems like you were more pissed that I kept you alive than you were about the Gadreel stuff", observed Dean.

"I may not have been happy that you went against my decision but it's not what it was about. Yeah, I was ready to die and maybe a part of me actually wanted to. I was ready to die doing something good and helping people but that's not why I was so angry. I was pissed because you tricked me into agreeing to something that you knew I would never say 'yes' too. I was angry because I had to live with what happened to Kevin", corrected Sam. 

"Sam we've been through this a million times, Kevin was on me, not you. Neither was Charlie. I know I blamed you for that at the time but I was grieving and had the mark. Charlie wouldn't do anything she didn't want too, she was strong and a bad ass. You told her to give them whatever info they wanted and she chose not too. She made her own decision's so she could help me because that's who she was. She was the type of person who risked herself to help other people. Kevin and Charlie were not your fault", sighed Dean.

"You talk a good game but it doesn't change the fact that I still get nightmare's. I still dream about Kevin's face when...it may have been Gadreel that killed him but I should have been able to stop him. Charlie was strong but I still brought her into it. Say what you want Dean but they are on me and who know's who I could hurt now I have angelic abilities. That's what pissed me off Dean. I could hurt people", stated Sam.

"It's not on you Sam, end of discussion and as for the grace, it's not like it's from some demon or monster. It's angel grace, Gabriel's grace. You get on with Gabriel, he's not a bad guy underneath all that cockiness", pointed out Dean.

"You and I both know that angel's aren't always innocent and Gabriel might be one of the good guys but who knows how his grace mixed with my soul, will react. Even if I don't mean to hurt people, accidents happen", said Sam.

"Gabriel will help you control it", shrugged Dean.

"Oh, you mean like how he learned Lily? 'Cause that turned out great, like the time she flattened a town", snapped Sam.

"It might not be the same, Lily's just a kid. You're an adult so you might not be so out of control like she was", reasoned Dean.

"Dean, you need to stop acting like this is nothing. It's big and I don't know what's going to happen. It's not nothing", yelled Sam.

Sam's words were sharp and coated in frustration but Dean caught the glimmer of fear in Sam's eye's. He knew Sam and he knew Gabriel was right, Sam wasn't angry. He was scared. Scared of the changes to the very thing that makes Sam, Sam. Scared of what the future would bring and what it meant for him. Scared of screwing up. Scared of hurting people. Sam was hurt, too. Dean may have saved him but he was beginning to realize how he'd hurt him too. 

For Sam, the grace that swirled in sync with his soul was a constant reminder of the worst thing that he'd ever experienced. This was just another new thing that Sam had to contend with and Dean was the one who'd done that.

Dean really started to see just how much this stuff effected Sam and Dean was so keen to sweep it all under the mat. Sam must have felt pretty alone. 

"I'm sorry Sammy, I know this is a big deal. I can only imagine what it must be like for you. I'm not just saying it either, I really am sorry for the crap you've had to go through when your choices have been taken away from you. This situation with the grace and you being a nephilim now...it's huge but you're not doing this by yourself. You have me and I'll make sure nothing bad happens. I promise", spoke Dean meaningfully.

Sam looked at Dean, hazel eye's shiny with a coat of salty tears and a look of relief and gratitude on his face that his big brother seemed to get it.

"You will?", questioned Sam quietly.

"Course Sam, do you think I'm just gonna up and leave if your power's go nuclear or if things get too hard?", queried Dean in a jovial tone.

Sam gazed at his hands once again and Dean realized that he'd hit the nail on the head with what he'd jokingly just said. Sam was scared that Dean would turn him away. Dean got it, kinda. Things had been strained between them when Sam had used his psychic abilities before. Sam's abilities, all those years ago, had scared the crap out of Dean and Sam would be a lot more powerful now. So Sam was worried that if he couldn't control his abilities or things went wrong, Dean would jump ship. Dean would admit he never quite knew how to feel about Sam's psychic abilities and he'd been pissed when he had found out that Sam was using them and drinking blood but he would never turn his back on Sam, not really. Especially not in their current circumstances, when it was Dean's fault in the first place. Dean didn't care what happened. Sam could wipe out all of America with his angel mojo and Dean would still be there to pull Sam back or to hold him up. 

"Sam, you don't need to worry about hurting someone and having me walk away because of it. We'll figure this out together and it doesn't matter what happens, I'll be there right by your side. No matter what. I put this on you and I'm going to be the one to help you figure all this crap out", reassured Dean.

"I'm...I'm scared Dean", admitted Sam as a stray tear fell from his eye. 

Dean got up to sit by Sam and grabbed his younger brother's broad shoulders, enveloping him in a tight hug and running circles into Sam's back with his hand. It was the sort of display of affection that only tended to be shared when one of them was on the brink of death but Sam was right about things needing to change. 

They were who they were and there were certain things that would never change. Sam would never stop loving salads over greasy spoon food or stop being head strong, bookish, kind, self sacrificing, sensitive and gentle. Dean would never stop loving burgers and sex or stop being protective, loyal, brave, stubborn or a secret pop culture geek who would do anything to save the people he loved.

Certain things were just who they were and if they changed them, they wouldn't be themselves anymore but some things could and needed to change. Dean decided to screw his chick flick rule and let Sam talk about feelings as much as he wanted if it helped him. Lies were officially a no go, even if the lie was to protect the other. They were going to start hearing each other out before blowing up about something like they had so many time's in the past. It had always been them against the world and although they had some additional family members in the mix now, that still stood. They were a team and he and Sam were going to go forward together, on the same page and backing each other up. All the good stuff could stay but Dean promised himself they'd take note of their past mistakes and make changes. Dean thought they'd actually already done pretty good with that in the past couple of years but some things still needed to be adjusted. 

They had their flaws and their strengths. They had both made huge mistakes but they had done more good than bad. Saved more people that they'd hurt and through it all they'd had each other. Always would. 

Sam sunk into Dean's arms, the strain of the recent weeks taking its toll. Hell, Lucifer, torture, dying and now having to deal with being a nephilim. He seemed so impossibly small and childlike. He reminded Dean of the 8 year old version of Sam who knew that monsters were real and looked to his big brother with pleading and fearful eye's. Eye's that begged him to make things better and less scary. 

Dean felt small tremors from Sam as he hugged him. Dean knew that Sam was crying and probably trying to reign it back in. Dean gave a reassuring squeeze to Sam's shoulder. Giving Sam the permission that Sam probably felt that he needed, to break down and Sam let go. 

They stayed there in the library for a while in silence, letting Sam get out the storm of emotions that he had built up. After a little while, Sam's body seemed to calm a little but Dean still had a firm hold on him. 

"...he's really gone?" whispered Sam.

"He's gone. You beat him, he's gone for good Sammy", reassured Dean, instantly knowing that Sam was talking about Lucifer. Sam sat upright and ran his hand across his face. 

"Sorry, kind of broke the rule", laughed Sam softly.

"I've decided to throw that rule away, if you need to talk, talk! But there's no way I'm braiding your hair and watching the notebook with you, that's where I draw the line", mocked Dean lightly.

"Please, the Notebook is your favorite movie", grinned Sam, "...Thanks".

"What for?"

"Just, the whole conversation, it was what I needed", thanked Sam.

"Don't mention...like ever, people will think I'm going soft", joked Dean, "But you can talk to me Sammy".

"I know and I think I'm definitely going to need your help with this new angel stuff", admitted Sam.

"Dude, you're getting my help whether you want it or not 'cause there's no way I'm not using it to my advantage...I mean if you've got any of Gabriel's abilities, just think of all the junk food you can muster up for me", teased Dean.

Sam laughed and shook his head at Dean, "You know, we should probably go join the other's before they get worried that we've killed each other".

"Yeah about that, maybe try going a little easy on Gabriel. He didn't want to do anything without you permission but I said I'd find another angel if he wouldn't do it...I think he just wanted to make sure an angel who could be trusted was doing it", advised Dean.

"Okay", agreed Sam.

* * *

Mary, Cas and Gabriel waited anxiously. They didn't hear any loud bangs or furniture breaking so that was a positive but they had been a little while. 

Finally, Sam and Dean walked through together. Sam's eye's were a little puffy and Dean looked drained too but they were together and seemed to be okay.

"Sam, Dean", acknowledged Mary, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, were good mom", reassured Dean.

"Really?", doubted Gabriel. 

"Really, we're good. We've got some things to figure out but we're okay", confirmed Dean.

"Good", smiled Gabriel.

"Is Lily still in her room?", asked Sam.

"Yeah she seems withdrawn", told Gabriel.

"You need to talk to her and let her know you're not mad at her", told Sam to Dean. 

"I am mad at her", argued Dean.

"Why?", queried Sam.

"I don't know, maybe because she worked with Lucifer, lied to us and fed you blood", exclaimed Dean.

"Dean, she's so young still and Lucifer lied to her. She thought that by doing what she did, she'd be saving me...I would have thought you would have understood that more than anyone", countered Sam.

"Fine...I'll tell her I'm not mad", relented Dean.

"Good...I'll go check on her", smiled Sam as he left the kitchen. 

"So, how did it really go?" Asked Gabriel. 

"It really did go okay. We talked honestly and I let Sam know that I was sorry and that I would help him through this. Things are good between us. I think you were right about Sam using anger to mask what was really going on and talking it out helped", explained Dean.

"That's a marked improvement. You and Sam have a habit of burying your feelings until one of you snaps at the other or drowns out the emotions with alcohol. Talking is good", stated Cas. 

"...Thanks...I guess", laughed Dean.

"Gabriel, I think you should talk to Sam", suggested Dean.

"Do you think that'll go down well?" Hesitated Gabriel.

"I told him that you didn't want to do anything without his agreement and he accepted it. He's worried about the power that your grace will give him. He's scared of not being able to control it and hurting someone as a result. I will help as much as a I can but grace is more your department", explained Dean.

"Okay, I'll talk to him". 

* * *

Gabriel walked to Lily's room and found Sam sitting at the desk chair, talking to Lily who was perched on the edge of her bed.

"Hey Kiddo, everything okay?", asked Gabriel.

"I was just letting Lily know that Dean isn't angry", informed Sam.

"I can second that. Why don't you go into Mary, Cas and Dean? Talk to Dean?" Suggested Gabriel.

"Okay, I'll talk to him", agreed Lily as she flew out of the room. Gabriel was still getting used to a fully grow Lily. She was physically the age of a 18/19 year old woman and had a beautiful set of wings trailing behind her. He still saw her as the shy toddler that she was when he'd first met her. 

"She's come along so much", commented Gabriel. 

"She's a good kid", stated Sam.

"So, can we talk?" Asked Gabriel.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I froze you out before", apologized Sam.

"No, I'm sorry. I knew how you felt about grace and your history and I did it anyway. I officially suck", told Gabriel.

"The way Dean puts it, you were just trying to make sure an angel who could be trusted did it, instead of some psycho angel. Plus you did save me", shrugged Sam.

"Yeah but it's still not cool. How are you feeling about it all?" Questioned Gabriel.

"Honestly? Overwhelmed. Uncomfortable", admitted Sam.

"You don't have to worry about this Sam. It's not the same as Lily. You shouldn't be out of control. She was born with power's so they were as natural to her as her human qualities and just like a human kid can struggle with learning to walk and talk, she struggled with her power. You're different. I don't think you'll have issues with accidentally using the grace because you're used to not having them. It's likely you will only use your new power if you choose too and Cas and I can help you to get a handle on it", promised Gabriel.

"Okay...but I need you to promise me something?"

"What?"

"If I ever go nuclear or hurt people, you stop me. Whatever that means you stop me. If that means killing me or locking me up and throwing away the key, you do it?" Pleaded Sam.

"Well you're not going to hurt anyone and I'm not going to kill you but I promise that if anything goes sideways, I'll lock you up or figure something out", agreed Gabriel.

"Thanks", said Sam.

"You know, there are advantages to this", grinned Gabriel. 

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I may not be playing the trickster anymore but it doesn't mean that I'm completely out of touch with him...I can teach you how to do that kind of thing and it would definitely give you an upper hand if you and Dean were to partake in a prank war", grinned Gabriel mischievously.

"I'm listening", laughed Sam.

"I'm thinking a green hair dye job, putting the same crap that they make stink bombs with, in Dean's aftershave....ooh and pimping the impala out so it's got rhinestone's and pink butterflies on the doors and bonnet", suggested Gabriel.

"Dean will legitimately kill me if I mess with baby...like the kill me dead, never coming back, kind of kill me", laughed Sam.

"We'll think of something", smiled Gabriel.

"Yeah, we will"

* * *

_3 days later..._

Things had settled into a nice rhythm again in the bunker. They had decided to give hunting a little break until they were certain they had a handle on Sam's new found abilities.

Sam had insisted that Gabriel start showing him the way around working with grace pretty much straight off. Sam had always been a sucker for learning. He didn't like to do anything by half measures. He threw himself into things and didn't stop till he'd mastered them, which is how he managed to do well enough to get a full scholarship to Stanford even though they moved around constantly while he was in high school.

Gabriel had let it be known how impressed he was at Sam's progress over a mere two days but Sam insisted there was much more to be done. Between, what Dean liked to call 'mojo master classes', they did normal stuff. 

They watched TV, went out to do something other than get drunk and hunt. They went out to have lunch at diner's or too get some decent clothes that weren't from the good will. They talked too. They talked a lot and as much as Dean would deny it, it felt good and things felt clear. 

Sam wasn't quite back to his complete usual self. It had only been three days and Dean guessed that it would take a little while before that happened and not just because of the grace. The crap that Sam had been through recently was enough alone to shake someone up but it wasn't just the recent events that were the problem. They'd also brought up a host of unwanted memories and emotions from past trauma's. So understandably Sam was a little withdrawn. He tried to hide it but Dean knew.

The six of them were having breakfast together on the first morning after he and Sam worked things out and Sam's eye's became a little vacant and Dean would know that Sam was getting stuck in his own head. Unoticably to most but Dean wasn't most people and he knew his brother. The day after a contact of Mary's called for backup on a near by hunt and she'd gone to help, Lily was asleep and Cas and Gabriel were doing whatever it is that angel's do and he and Sam settled down to watch something on netflix. Some downtime watching Game of Thrones turned to chaos when a character was being burnt alive, sending Sam into a full blown panic. Dean promptly turned of the TV, grounded Sam and then tried to convince Sam that it was okay to freak out a little, especially in front of Dean. 

Dean expected there to be more moments like these in the days ahead because Sam had been to hell again, tortured by Lucifer again, had died again and been turned into a Nephilim. That was bound to stir up some nasty crap and Dean would be damned if he wasn't going to be there to help Sam through it. 

Dean was sure things would go back to normal eventually. Sam would process and they'd start hunting again. Sam's new trick's would probably be pretty useful. Right now though, Dean was content with taking some time off to come to grips with everything. That's not to say Dean wasn't itching for a simple cut and dry hunt because he was but his brother was more important. Sam had actually tried to convince Dean to pick up a hunt and Dean guessed that Sam probably wanted the distraction but Dean didn't think it was such a good idea with Sam's new found power and the issue's he was getting to grips with. 

Maybe Sam had picked up on Dean's restlessness because he'd even suggested that Dean went to help their mom out hunting whilst he stayed in the bunker but after the amount he and Sam had been separated lately, there was no way Dean was going for that. 

Dean was restless because it was in his nature to keep on moving, to keep on ganking monster's but he really didn't mind the break. When Dean's wasn't climbing the walls and actually let himself relax, he enjoyed the quiet time. He enjoyed spending some time with Sam and Cas that didn't involve saving the world or one of them being in grave danger. 

Chuck and Amara had once again come to collect Lily in order to teach her more control but Dean didn't get involved in that. He'd let go of his anger towards Lily because Sam had been right. Lily was still just a kid and was doing something she thought would save Sam and he wasn't one to pass judgement considering he'd done some messed up crap to save Sam before too. 

As for Gabriel, he'd become an ever present figure in the bunker. The living situation with Gabriel and Lily living in the bunker had meant to be a temporary thing until they found a better alternative but things were still a little up in the air about Lily. Sam, Dean and Cas had actually got pretty used to having them around.

Cas was Cas. He was his usual, sometime's oblivious, sometime's sarcastic, self but Dean was thankful for his presence. Cas was his best friend so it was good to have him around anyway but he was also a second figure who cared a lot for Sam's welfare. Mary promised to return as soon as she'd helped her hunter buddy and Dean knew she cared but she was only just getting to know them really. Dean also could see that Gabriel and Sam were developing quite a close friendship but he too, was new to the unit. Cas had been alongside the boy's for a long time and he knew how Sam worked and how to help. He'd been there alongside them through a lot of the bad crap they'd gone through and he knew Sam. Cas knew Sam more than Mary and more than Gabriel did. Dean doubted anyone would ever know his kid brother the way he did but out of their family, Cas was the closest person beside's himself that he'd feel comfortable with, looking out for Sammy. That had been the only consolation when he was planning on using himself as a bomb to take down Amara, that he knew Sam had Cas. Cas also had a habit of letting Dean know when he was being near sighted and telling Dean what he needed to hear. So he was definitely glad that Cas hadn't wondered of on some unknown mission. 

It had only been a few days so it was early days but Dean felt content. He felt bad for Sam because he knew he had some challenges ahead but Dean had his baby brother back and his mom and honorary brother and friends around him. They were safe and Dean saw a light at the end of this particular tunnel. It was the most at peace he'd felt in months and Dean had been through enough to know that you have to cherish those moments.

* * *

_3 weeks later..._

It had been three weeks and 4 days since Sam was brought back from the dead. Things had been quiet. Lily went off with Chuck and Amara once a day. Sometime's Gabriel would go with them and sometimes he'd stay. Mary was back home and mothering the boy's. It had took a while for Mary to find her place in her son's lives. She found it so hard to walk the line between hardened hunter and a mother, especially when her boy's were somewhat legendary hunter's themselves. She had struggled and ended up distancing herself from her children when she couldn't cope but after almost losing them so many times and learning more about the horrific things they'd experienced, that mothering instinct got stronger. 

She could be the cold, hard, calculating hunter when she was searching for vamps and werewolves but when she was at the bunker with her boy's, she was softer and warmer. Mary realized it didn't have to be a choice between one or the other. She could be both but she could never give up being a mom. Her boy's may be fully gown, strong men but underneath the surface, they were still so vulnerable. So when Mary came back from the hunt, she went into "mom mode". Making both of her boy's eat regular meals and take care of themselves properly. Offering an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on if it was needed. Most of the time, neither Sam or Dean did. They were so used to leaning on each other. 

It had become clear in the past three weeks that Sam was having a hard time since coming back but he turned to Dean instead of her. Mary understood it. Dean had been pretty much the only care giver Sam had known and they knew each other inside out. They knew what each other needed. When to push and when to hold back. What to say or do when things were tough and Mary didn't, not yet. She was still learning. So she wasn't surprised when the only person Sam seemed to lean on was Dean but it still stung a little. Hurt to know that she was Sam's mother and she should know the right words to say but didn't. She was determined to find it all out though. To really get to know her children. 

Sam spent a lot of time learning and experimenting with his new found abilities. He'd managed to get a grip on things pretty well and seemed less afraid of who he was now. When he wasn't practicing or researching, he was either watching TV with Dean or going out into town with Dean and sometime's Cas and Mary. Sam seemed to like the nearby library. Mary found it strange at first given the huge library they had right in the bunker but most of the books in the bunker were non-fiction and about supernatural creatures, Sam seemed to like leisure reading. Sam would go out to diner's and bar's with Dean but Sam seemed wary to drink too much now that he had grace. 

Gabriel and Sam had been scheming together, Gabriel learning Sam ways he could use his new power to mess with Dean. Even Cas couldn't suppress a laugh when Dean stormed in from the shower with green hair or when he'd woken up floating on a mattress in the makeshift pool that Sam had temporarily turned his room into. Mary had lightly scolded Sam, telling him off for teasing his older brother as if they were still kids but Mary secretly reveled in it. Loved seeing her two boy's doing something so normal like bickering and playing pranks on one another. 

Although Sam definitely seemed to have fun messing with Dean, he also used his abilities to show his gratitude to Dean. According to Dean, Sam couldn't cook unless it involved putting some 'leaves' on a plate but now he had powers, he could conjure up anything. One morning, Dean had walked into a kitchen full of his favorite foods, fresh and great quality. Dean also found a vinyl record player along with a collection of classic rock LP's that Dean liked. Sam had said that everything sounded better on vinyl which prompted Dean to list several reason why Sam was a huge nerd but Dean beamed at the offering. The lighthearted teasing did nothing to disguise the appreciation from Dean. 

Cas spent a lot of time watching TV shows when he wasn't, not so subtly, hovering around making sure Sam was okay and asking Dean how he was feeling. 

It had been three weeks though, which meant both of the boy's were getting ready to hit the road once again. Sam was doing okay. He and Dean carried a constant weight on their shoulders so things were still tough and Sam still had nightmare's and bad days but they were both used to that kind of thing. Sam was pretty much back to his usual self and with his angel mojo pretty much controlled and tested, Dean was finding it difficult to come up with an excuse not to hunt anymore. So Sam and Dean began to look for easy hunts to get back into the swing of things. 

They went to check out, what looked like a simple vengeful spirit. For a change, luck was on their side and it was a simple salt and burn. They were back at the bunker in a couple of days but it seemed to be what they needed. 

Sam, Dean, Mary and Cas were eating breakfast, well Cas watched the other's eat, when Gabriel wandered in looking conflicted.

"What's up?" asked Sam.

"It's Lily"

"Is she okay?" questioned Mary.

"Yeah, it's just...this was never meant to be a permanent arrangement. It was just something until I found a safe alternative. Plus, Lily is still having some trouble controlling her power. Dad wants to take Lily full time. Apparently he and Amara are planning on returning to heaven and they want Lily to go with them", explained Gabriel.

"I thought heaven wasn't safe for her?" queried Sam.

"That was before Chuck. Angel's are kind of prejudice towards Nephilim's but with dad back and personally raising Lily, I doubt any angel would dare to lay a wing on her", told Gabriel.

"So, this is going to happen?" asked Dean.

"I think so. They think it's for the best. She can grow and learn to control herself without running the risk of any human being harmed. Dad also thinks heaven is where she belongs", shrugged Gabriel.

"And how do you feel about that? Or Lily for that matter, as she even been consulted on this?" questioned Sam.

"I don't know. I want what's best for her and I can see the benefits from this but I also wonder if it really is the best thing and Lily does know. She said she'd miss this place, we're the only family she's really known but she wants to  make sure she doesn't cause any harm and she also wants to see where her family came from. Ultimately it's her decision and I think she'll agree to go", admitted Gabriel. 

\----------

When Lily returned, she had agreed to leave the bunker for good, going to live permanently with Chuck in heaven. She was finally ready to go, only needing to say her goodbye's.

"See ya, kid. Stay out of troubled", smiled Dean.

"Thanks and I will", promised Lily. Mary and Cas said goodbye to the young nephilim.

Lily stood by Sam, hugging him before she left. As much as she was grateful to everyone in the bunker, she had been especially close to Sam. Him being somewhat of a big brother figure to her and he'd seemed to understand her when other's didn't.

"Sam...thank you, for everything. You always tried to help me even when I maybe didn't deserve it after everything that happened with my dad but you still did. I'm really going to miss you", smiled Lily through gentle tears.

"Hey, enough of that. You do deserve help. You deserve to be happy, Lily. So go and be happy but make sure when things are more settled, you come to visit us, deal?" smiled Sam as he gently squeezed her shoulder.

"Deal", grinned Lily.

"Well, c'mon kiddo. Let's get you to heaven", breathed Gabriel.

"What are you going to do? Are you going with her for good?" wondered Sam to Gabriel.

"I'm going to go with Lily, help her to settle but after I'll probably split my time between heaven and earth. As much as I love heaven and all, I've kind of gotten used to it down here", stated Gabriel.

"Well when you're in our neck of the woods, there'll be a place for you here to crash or whatever angel's do", shrugged Dean.

"Dean-o, are you asking me to come back when I'm on earth?", grinned Gabriel.

"All right, no need to make it akward", brushed off Dean.

"I second that...don't be a stranger", told Sam.

"I won't", reassured Gabriel before disappearing with Lily.

* * *

_3 months after Dean brought back Sam..._

Sam and Dean had gone back to hunting full time again. Mary joined them at times, sometimes she went on solo hunts but she used the bunker as a base and carried on being a constant presence in their lives. 

Sam was still coming to terms with the changes to him but things were pretty good in that department. He seemed to have a good handle on them and that seemed to make Sam more comfortable with his situation. The angel power's had helped them on hunts and using it to help people seemed to make Sam feel a little better about the whole thing. 

They hadn't seen Lily since she'd left the bunker but Gabriel had payed a visit. Lily was still getting a handle on things but according to Gabriel, she liked it in heaven and was planning to visit when she'd learnt how to control her powers properly.

Cas split his time between the Winchester's and trying to mend bridges in heaven. He had more time on his hands though with immediate threat out of the way. Lily was in Chuck's care and Lucifer was gone. Cas had even joined Sam and Dean on a couple of hunts which always turned out to be amusing. 

Things were good. Dean and Sam's relationship was on track and Sam was doing a lot better. All of the crap that they'd been through, all of the Lucifer stuff, that was never going to go away but with Lucifer finally gone, it was one less weight to carry. Dean had been there to help Sam when he woke up screaming. He'd been to help Sam to stop flinching whenever someone got too close or stop him from freaking out at the smell of burning. And they'd gotten there. Sam had only his regular amount of nightmare's and he got back to his usual geeky self. 

Sam and Dean talked a lot more too. Dean was his usual gruff and sarcastic self but behind that, he had way more "chick flick moments" with Sam than he'd admit but it seemed to be doing them both good. 

There hadn't been any new major threats in the past couple of months so they continued with the regular gigs. Dealing with werewolves, rugaru's and vamps was a walk in the park compared with what they usually had to contend with. It was nice to get back to the simple stuff. It wasn't lost on Sam or Dean how crazy there life was to consider vampires as the simple stuff but they were content. 

Things were good between them, better than in a long time. They were alive and as safe a hunter was ever going to be. They had Cas and their mom. 

And as always, they had each other. They were a team and they were on the same page. Dean knew that everyone had to die and that one day, he wouldn't be able to bring Sam back. He knew that he couldn't keep doing stuff that Sam wouldn't agree too but Dean promised himself that when it was their time, they'd go down together, saving people. He promised himself that Sam would never have to do anything like that, alone, ever again. 

Sam was grateful. Grateful for Dean. He knew that even when Dean made mistakes, he did from a good place. Since Sam had been brought back, Dean's support had been unwavering and Sam was more than aware how much he needed his big brother. Now it was mostly over with, things had been good. 

Sam had accepted that he wouldn't have a traditional life. A wife and 2.5 kids weren't on the table for him but as the he years went by, his longing for the that life grew weaker. He'd asked Dean if he ever thought about settling down with a hunter and if that happened to him too that would be great but he wasn't concerned about it. He was grateful for what he'd got. He'd lost enough over the years to know to cherish what you have. Sam had lost a lot of loved one's so he didn't take for granted the one's who were with him now and Dean had always been there.

Through it all, Sam and Dean have always had and would always have each other. So they could fight whatever might be on the horizon. They could fight it together.

* * *

 

 

 

 

A woman stood nervously on the spot, mindful not to say anything provocative to the man before her. 

"My Lord, if I could be so bold...what are your plans?", questioned the woman as he eye's flickered to charcoal black. 

"My plan? I'm going to destroy everything. Starting with that overgrown idiot", the man seethed.

"Of course but you are injured?"

"The ritual did not kill me. It wasn't designed with the devil in mind but it did destroy my wings and he'll pay for that. My power, however, is unchanged. I'm going to wipe this puny planet out once and for all but before that, I'm going to make Sam Winchester wish he was dead. I need you to fetch me my old vessel. He is still in that house"

"Yes, Lucifer. Anything my Lord"

 _The End_  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am considering writing a sequel but right now I'm working on other things but a sequel could be on the horizon.


End file.
